Joke Collection Website - Talk about mood - Urgent! ! ! Does anyone have the script for Zhao Benshan's skit about seeing a doctor? tell me
Urgent! ! ! Does anyone have the script for Zhao Benshan's skit about seeing a doctor? tell me
Lines from the skit "Heart Disease"
(Zhao Benshan comes on stage) Humph~~ (cough)
Zhao: Hello, fellow villagers and elders, here is the broadcast Advertisement: Although I lost the election as village chief, I still have to do ideological work and open a psychological clinic at home to treat the human brain. Everyone is welcome to come and get help. If you have money, you can give me some help, but if you don’t have money, you can stop me. Linjiang Village Dabai Psychological Clinic, attending physician Zhao Dabao. The phone number is all over the place, and the website WWW is a big deal.
Gao: Doctor, I’m seeing an emergency doctor!
Zhao: Haha, people are famous as soon as the commercial airs~!
Gao: Yes, I heard you advertise.
Zhao: Don’t believe the ads. . .
Gao: What do you believe?
Zhao: It depends on the efficacy!
Gao: Hahaha. . . Oh, what a humorous doctor~.
Zhao: Needless to say, you must be suffering from menopausal syndrome. Come on, open your mouth and let me look at the tires. . . I want to see the tongue coating.
Gao: The doctor is not my doctor.
Zhao: Who is watching?
Gao: My old man is here to see a doctor.
Zhao: What’s wrong with your old man?
Gao: Hahaha, you have never seen my old man’s disease. This is what happened:
Zhao: Ah.
Gao: He won a lottery ticket two days ago and won 3,000 yuan. I told him that when he got excited, he drew the lottery ticket and spent several days in the hospital. He almost didn’t make it.
Zhao: Oops. . .
Gao: Ah, after he was discharged from the hospital, he bought lottery tickets and won again. This one was big, three million.
Zhao: It’s over.
Gao: After I took the lottery ticket, I went to see the doctor. The doctor said that we couldn’t cure this and quickly found a psychiatrist for him. This disease is not easy to get over. When I went back and told him, I said we need to see a psychiatrist, but this guy got even worse, so I suspected that I had some kind of illness in my heart, and "Gah~" went away again. What do you think we should do? . .
Zhao: I understand. You won the lottery again, but you didn’t dare to tell him because you were afraid that he would get sick and die. After telling him to see a psychiatrist, he suddenly suspected that he had an incurable disease.
Gao: Yes!
Zhao: You have one disease and two diseases!
Gao: Hey, doctor, don’t worry about a few diseases, doctor. If you can cure his disease, I will give you more money.
Zhao: Oh no, don’t mention it. . Why is it so vulgar to ask for money? ah? If you don't pay, you won't get medical treatment. What's wrong with these people? Those who open their mouths for money but shut up their mouths for money. Serving the people and saving lives and healing the wounded are all for who cares. . . . How much can you give?
Gao: Hahahaha, give me as much as you want!
Zhao: No need to talk! Wait for me to go to the consultation!
Gao: No need, doctor, no need, I brought my old man here.
Zhao: Where?
Gao: Standing in front of your house!
Zhao: Standing at my door?
Gao: Ah!
Zhao: Oh, you dare to put a three millionaire standing guard at my door. It seems that you are very thoughtful!
Gao: Haha. . The doctor is so funny. . . Hey, I have to tell you, he now suspects that he has an incurable disease. When he comes into the room and you treat him, don't say "ill". Hey, you have to say "gah" when you say "ill". Just smoke it. Really, if you just talk to him about money, how can you find a way to get him to accept the three million? I will thank you! I didn’t ask the doctor first!
Zhao: Oops, I’m taking on a big job, you tell me this.
Gao: Walk fast, walk fast. . .
Fan: Wife, just tell me what’s going on in my heart. Why are you torturing me?
Gao: You have been suspicious all day long, and the doctor told you as soon as you entered the room!
Fan: Oh, this is torturing me.
Gao: Doctor, he is here!
Zhao: Hello!
Fan: Ah, that’s not good, doctor.
Zhao: It’s the first time we meet, so I’m a bit disappointed. I hope you’ll forgive me! Please take a seat!
Fan: Hey!
Zhao: This, you old ladies. . .
Fan: Huh?
Zhao: Your wife has already told you about your illness. She said that you are afraid of mentioning the word "illness" and will have seizures whenever the word "illness" is mentioned.
Fan: Choking~~~
Zhao: Yeah, it’s really accurate! Come, take down this stove.
Fan: No, my heart is like pulling out the cold and pulling out the cold ground. I will use this to make Tengteng, okay.
Zhao: Don’t be nervous, you are not sick at all.
Gao: If you don’t want to pick it off, let him take it.
Zhao: OK, then we will start treatment. Talk therapy.
Fan: Huh? How. . . What kind of talk therapy?
Zhao: No injections, no medicine, just sitting here chatting with you, using conversation therapy, also called "talk therapy".
Fan: Yes, I still have something to say. . . Choking~~~choking~~~. . .
Gao: Old man, hey, old man. . .
Zhao: I don’t want to treat this disease. What the hell is this! Big sister, I haven’t watched it yet, don’t do this!
Gao: What did you do to you?
Fan: Wife, it’s over! The doctors told me to undergo chemotherapy!
Zhao: Hahahaha. . . Oops, "talk therapy" is my medical term. Talk therapy, referred to as "talk therapy", the "talk" of "talk"
Gao: Doctor, let me tell you, he is very timid. , don’t use the abbreviation, you should give it the full name.
Zhao: Okay, hehehe, you are too fragile, then I will read a book for therapy, please sit down! Oh, you have to pay attention to this kind of patient.
Gao: Come, read a book for therapy, go there and lean on it, come on.
Zhao: Sit tight! Please listen to the first topic below: postpartum care of sows. . . Got the wrong book. . . . Listen to topic number one: Saddam is ready to fight. . . This doesn’t work either~~ Oh my, my knowledge is so complex!
Gao: Your disease must be cured by him!
Zhao: You have to master all kinds of knowledge! Check out this topic: Time and Life.
Gao: This is good, doctor, this is the topic. . .
Zhao: Don’t interrupt, it’s over. In the long river of time, people are like meteors in the sky, coming and going in a hurry. “Shua~~~” If you say no, then it’s gone!
Fan: Choke~~~choke~~~choke~~~. . .
Zhao: I didn’t even mention the word “disease”!
Gao: You didn't mention the word "disease". You just gave it to us. Don't say it. . .
Zhao: What I mean is that I am talking about the origin of life. If you live this time, I have to let you know how you came to this earth.
Fan: Doctor, I don’t want to know how I came here, I just want to know how I lost my land~~
Zhao: Then I will tell you how I lost my land. land!
Gao: Doctor, let’s not keep saying “no”, let’s say how nice it is to be alive.
Zhao: Okay, then you. . . . Let’s just say “Why live”.
Gao: Yes, yes!
Zhao: Okay, this is a good topic! Man, why are you alive? To put it simply, for a word, for a "love". Brother, you are living the wrong life. You can take out a bonus of 3,000 yuan. Don’t you think Xiaofeng’s draw should be so absurd? Think about it, say: There are only a handful of days in this world, only one month and thirty-six thousand days. There are thousands of houses in the family, and the sleeping space must be three feet wide. To sum it up in four sentences: People are like flowers in a pot, and life is a mess; no matter how well-built the house is, it is only a temporary residence, but this small box is your permanent home.
Fan: Choking~~~choking~~~. . .
Gao: Hey, hey, old man. . . Hey, look at what you are doing.
Fan: What he said was too scary.
Gao: You see how good the doctor’s words are, but you don’t listen. What the doctor means is that life is only a handful, and you can only live thirty-six days at most. . .
Fan: Choking~~~choking~~~. . .
Gao: Doctor, you too, what you said earlier is very good, but you finally put it in a small box for him, and even I collapsed.
Zhao: Sister, change your route, why not try some collapse therapy!
Gao: Crash therapy?
Zhao: Only by making him despair can he feel hope!
Gao: Desperate?
Zhao: Cooperate with me for a while, and then you will. . . . . .
Gao: Oops, hahaha. . . Is this okay? OK?
Zhao: Go quickly.
Gao: Old man. . Woohoo~~I really don’t want to tell you anymore. .
Zhao: Tell him.
Gao: You are so sick. . . I was really sorry for you emotionally in the past. I would make you angry at every turn, and I would even use domestic violence every now and then. I really will treat you well in the few days left from now on, old man, I will treat you well!
Fan: Wife, please stop talking! There is no need for you to apologize to me emotionally, because emotionally, I have done things that I have done to you that I am sorry for!
Zhao: My mom also got an unexpected bonus!
Gao: Don’t talk, let’s go home and talk.
Fan: No, I have to say it!
Zhao: It is said that it is non-toxic. This is the detoxification stage.
Gao: Then tell me.
Fan: When we first got married, one time you went back to your parents’ house, and after you had finished with my first partner, you went to our house. She grabbed my hand as soon as she got in! At that time, I was controlling, controlling, controlling. . . Wife, I'm sorry, I couldn't control it!
Gao: What happened to you? !
Fan: Choking~~~I smoked it.
Gao: Are you really smoking?
Fan: I, I’m really pumped.
Gao: Well, you can still smoke with such a good thing, who are you fooling!
Fan: I really slapped me.
Gao: You said you would take her home. . . Brother, he took that man home. . . I'm done with my mental arithmetic. I'm going to pull out the cold! Oh my god! How can you. . . How can you take her home? It's over, doctor. . .
Zhao: Calm down, calm down. . .
Gao: Oh, it’s over.
Zhao: Sister, who should I treat?
Gao: It’s not what you said, brother. . .
Zhao: He is already worth this, so why can’t you forgive him for saying such things at this time?
Gao: Brother, I won’t investigate further. Ask him to tell me who that woman is and what she does!
Zhao: Okay, you have to calm down!
Gao: Oh my god, it’s over. . .
Zhao: Your wife wants you to tell her who that woman is and where she lives. Tell her, it doesn’t matter.
Fan: I can only tell you that her surname is Hao, and she married a village chief named "Zhao Dabao"
Zhao: Her surname is Hao, and she married a village chief named "Zhao Dabao". . .
Gao: What?
Zhao: My wife. . . My wife!
Fan: I don’t know, I want to know. . .
Gao: Big brother!
Zhao: My wife! ! !
Gao: Brother!
Zhao: Oops. . . I'm still giving lessons, why do you think I got into such a thing? Big girl. . . Big brother. . . no. . . My heart feels so cold. . . Big sister, I'm not the kind of person who doesn't take things lightly. I don't care about money, but about our relationship. . . . Just like the two of us. . . You smoked it, right?
Fan: I, I smoked, I, I spit on me. . .
Zhao: It doesn’t matter, just pass this page.
Gao: Yes!
Zhao: It’s okay if you don’t smoke. People who fall in love for the first time don’t understand love at all. Let’s talk about the next topic!
Fan: Oops, ouch!
Gao: Brother is so generous! Brother, if you do this, you are really a man!
Fan: Man!
Gao: Pure man!
Fan: Pure land~!
Zhao: Sit back and let me talk to you about the next topic! if. . . Have you really smoked? . .
Fan: I smoked, I definitely smoked!
Gao: He smoked.
Fan: I don’t know what I smoke anymore.
Gao: He is not blind!
Fan: Absolutely, yes. . .
Zhao: Okay, okay. . . Blame me, well, I am a doctor. Let’s talk about the next topic: what if. . . . . . Who would believe you when you say you smoked!
Gao: He’s really pumped!
Fan: I am. .
Gao: Big brother asked you if you smoke!
Fan: I swear to the lamp, I will definitely smoke it!
Gao: He swore, please take this matter to the doctor.
Zhao: Sorry! It’s okay if you don’t smoke, sorry! Sorry! Let’s talk about the next topic!
If. . . .
Fan: Brother, I will whip me! I absolutely whipped me!
Gao: If you do this again, I’ll beat you up. You need to see him quickly and let's get this matter over with.
Zhao: Let’s all stay calm.
Gao: Yes!
Zhao: OK, if you were given a chance to live again, would you still take money so seriously?
Gao: The doctor is asking you.
Fan: Brother, now I have thought about everything. Money is nothing, it is worthless compared with life! If God gives me another chance, hey, give me a few more years to deal with it, ah! I must put feelings first! Not to mention three thousand yuan, but even thirty thousand, three hundred thousand, or three million, I would smile slightly and never smoke!
Zhao, Gao: Oops. . . .
Zhao: Tell him!
Gao: Old man, let me tell you the truth, you don’t have any disease, but you bought that lottery ticket and won again.
Fan: Huh? How many more hits? Another three thousand?
Zhao: Look here.
Fan: Three hundred?
Zhao: Add the word "ten thousand" at the end and pronounce it.
Fan: Three hundred. . . . . . Ten thousand? Choking~~~~~~~
Zhao, Gao: Yeah. . .
Gao: Yeah, my old man is going to fall. Hurry up, doctor, hurry up!
Zhao: one!two!three!four!five. . . Congratulations on finally not being knocked down by money! Brother, learn from me and take money lightly. Brother has nothing, but he lives a very happy life! Yes or no? For three million, just pretend that this is not the case.
Gao: Yes!
Fan: Not only did you cure my illness, you also saved my life! young married woman!
Gao: Hey!
Fan: Three million is at my disposal, okay?
Gao: Oh, old man, as long as there is nothing wrong with you, you have the final say!
Fan: Okay, spend one million, we will sponsor schools, we will sponsor nursing homes!
Gao: OK!
Fan: The remaining two million, each of us will share half of it!
Gao: He will give you half.
Zhao: Here. . . Choking~~~choking~~~choking~~~
Gao: Yeah! doctor! Oh my god!
Fan: Oh my god!
Gao: Hurry up, oh, hurry up, the doctor is here. .
Fan: one! two! Oh my. . . three. . .
Gao: Come on, come on, go to the hospital, doctor. . .
Fan: Four! five. . . . .
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