What kind of experience is talking and laughing on the surface?

There is a feeling of forcing a smile ...

Some time ago, I was fired by my boss because of some negligence in my work.

My mother has been in poor health. In order not to worry her, I hid. When I got home, I tried to make myself laugh just to give my mother an illusion. I work hard and live a very happy life.

After dinner. Back in my room, I couldn't control my inner feelings any longer, and my tears couldn't stop flowing downwards. I was very fragile at that moment. I wish nothing had happened.