How to tell children that they have something to discuss with an adult

Respect the child's wishes

One night, Qiqi's father said to him: "Starting from tomorrow, we will send you to grandpa's house to live for a month. When you get there, you must Listen to your grandparents and don't make them angry, you know?"

Hearing what his father said, Qiqi was surprised, and then objected loudly: "Why should you send me to grandpa? I won't go! "

"No way, dad and mom are going on a business trip this month, and no one will take care of you!" Dad said to Qi Qi angrily.

"Why don't you ask me if I want to? I don't want to go to grandpa's house!" Qiqi was so sad that she almost cried.

"What do you know? You have to agree or disagree with the adults' decisions. Your mother and I are both on a business trip, so we can't leave you alone." Just stay at home," Dad said to Qi Qi with an angry look on his face.

The next day, Qiqi was sent to her grandfather's house by her father. He felt abandoned and began to hate his parents.

Children are also members of the family. When encountering something, especially something closely related to their children, parents should seek their children's opinions and try to respect their children's wishes. Instead of always thinking that children are too young and have no ability to think about problems, even discussing with them is useless.

Of course, there are some things in life that adults do not need to let children know, but there are some things that children should completely participate in discussion, especially some things about children. Respecting your child's wishes and always discussing things with your child is a sign of appreciation and respect for your child.

Parents respect their children’s wishes not only because their children have the right to know their own affairs, but also because they appreciate their children’s ability to analyze and judge. They believe that their children have the ability to analyze and decide on family affairs.

Children and parents have equal status in the family. Parents may wish to listen to their children's opinions before deciding on something. Sometimes, children's opinions are also very important and can even have a major impact on the entire matter.

Mr. Chen and his wife are planning to buy a new house. They picked around and found two properties that they liked more. But at this time, the couple's opinions differed.

One day, the couple had another argument about the house. At this time, Mr. Chen's daughter, Tongtong, who was in the sixth grade of primary school, finally couldn't bear it anymore and said loudly to her parents: "How come you never asked for my opinion when you wanted to buy a house?"

Two The individual immediately stopped quarreling, looked at Tongtong strangely, and said nothing for a long time.

"What do you think? What do children know?" Mr. Chen woke up from the surprise first.

"That's right, buying a house is an adult's business, why do you care so much?!" Mom continued.

"Buying a house is a matter for the whole family. I am also a member of the family. Why is it none of my business?" Tongtong asked angrily.

"But do you know about houses? Children, just study hard and don't meddle in so many other things." Dad waved his hand towards Tongtong and said impatiently.

"Who says I don't understand? I know that my father wants to buy New Era Garden. I also know that the houses there cannot be bought at all."

"Why can't I buy it? What do you know? ?" Mr. Chen asked in surprise.

"There is an open space next to the New Era Garden, right? A chemical factory will be built there soon. Does Dad want to smell the strange smell of the chemical factory every day from now on?!"

"What? Chemical plant? Why didn't I know? Who did you listen to?" Mr. Chen asked Tongtong very confused.

"My classmate's father is the director of a chemical plant. I told him that day that you wanted to buy a house in New Era Garden, but he said he couldn't buy it because his father told him that the chemical plant would be moved there soon. , he also said that the smell of chemical plants can kill people.

"

"Really? If that were the case, I really couldn't buy this house. "Mr. Chen said to himself.

Later, Mr. Chen inquired and found out that the news Tongtong told was indeed true. So he bought a house in another real estate and the family moved. New home, life is very happy.

To appreciate children, we must respect their wishes and let them have the right to know and participate. Only in this way can the child feel his importance in the family and establish a relationship.

For parents, respect for their children is the best way to understand their children. If parents respect their children, their children will do the same. Respect parents. Children will boldly tell their parents if they want to know their children's ideas.

On the other hand, if parents often discuss things with their children and ask for their opinions, once the children need to do something. When making a decision, he will take the initiative to discuss it with his parents and seek their opinions, rather than hiding it from his parents and insisting on his own way.

Therefore, parents should always remember that their children are important members of the family and take the initiative to seek their children's opinions when something happens. Opinions; when a child expresses dissatisfaction or objection, you should explain it to the child calmly and strive for the child's understanding, instead of forcing the child to obey or even intimidating the child.

When encountering things closely related to the child, You should actively seek your child’s opinion. Say to your child: “Child, there is something closely related to you, and we want to hear your opinion. "

When encountering a major event that affects the entire family, you should let your children know and encourage them to express their opinions. Tell your children: "This matter is very important. What do you think? ”

Respect children’s ideas

On the weekend, Ms. Chen chatted with colleagues who came to her house to play, and mentioned that several young people in the unit were in love.

"I heard that Xiao Zhao has fallen out of love again, do you know? "Ms. Chen said.

"Really? I don't know, what's the reason? "Colleagues were very surprised.

"It's not Xiao Wang yet. I have ignored Xiao Zhao for a long time. I heard that I have found another graduate student in the medical school and they are having a heated relationship! "

"Huh? Why is Xiao Wang like this? Didn't you have a good talk with Xiao Zhao? Xiao Zhao is also pretty good, really! "

At this time, his son Mingming, who had been watching TV, suddenly spoke: "If I were Uncle Zhao, I would ignore Auntie Wang. She is so bad! "

"Go to your room, what kind of tone do you use when adults speak, what do you know, you annoying child! "Ms. Chen stood up, took Ming Ming's arm and left. Ming Ming pouted and muttered in a low voice as he walked: "That's it! ”

After a child becomes sensible, he begins to think about the world, everything he encounters, and gradually develops his own ideas and opinions. The worlds of adults and children are indeed different, but when children grow up In the process, they have been getting closer to adults. They express their opinions and thoughts on things in the adult world, which shows that they have independent thinking, which is very valuable.

At this time, parents should appreciate and express their opinions. Respect the child's ideas, understand the child's mood, listen to the child's words, and give positive appreciation and respect when the child wants to express his or her own thoughts and opinions. Appreciating and respecting the child's ideas can not only further train the child's thinking awareness and ability. Expression ability, and by listening to the child's point of view, you can discover and understand the child's true thoughts, thereby correcting some wrong ideas in the child's growth process.

Parents must not ignore and suppress their children's ideas, even if they are. If they are wrong, even if their ideas are childish and ridiculous, they cannot be ridiculed or interrupted; instead of always asking children to think like adults, they should let the children continue to speak and allow the children to express their opinions.

One night, Xiaohui said to her mother sadly: "Why is Yixiu's mother so cruel? She sent Yixiu to a temple to be a monk, but she didn't let Yixiu go home to see her!"

"My child, this is not cruel. She sent Ikkyu to the temple because she hoped that Ikkyu could be educated and trained there and become a great person in the future." Mom said to Xiaohui gently.

"But how old is Ikkyu? Why not wait until he grows up before sending him to the temple?"

"Child, when a person is young, he is a blank slate. Paper, if you draw red on it, it will be red; if you draw black on it, it will become black. Therefore, my mother asked Ikkyu to be educated in the temple from an early age, so that Ikkyu can be smarter and more intelligent. Be stronger. If I wait until Ikkyu grows up to go to the temple, it will be too late."

"Then should I also go to the temple to become a monk so that I can become a great person in the future? I can't live without my mother." Xiaohui was no longer so worried, and his eyes began to shine.

"Of course not. The temple just symbolizes an environment for education and training. Just like a school, you can also receive education and training in school. If you want to be as smart as Ikkyu , You must study hard in school, listen carefully, and try to learn all the knowledge the teacher tells you." The mother stroked the child's hair and said to the child with a smile.

"Mom, I understand. I must study hard and become as smart as Ikkyu. I also want to become a great person." The child jumped up and hugged his mother's neck and said loudly.

"Good boy, mommy believes in you!" Mommy happily kissed Xiaohui.

Children often have some ideas while watching cartoons or comic books. Parents cannot be indifferent to the things in these children's world, but should take the initiative to understand them, appreciate and think with their children.

When children take the initiative to talk to their parents about the world of their children, it is a sign of trust and dependence on their parents, and they want to get answers and comfort from their parents. At this time, parents should try to stand from their children's perspective, understand and respect their children's ideas, and patiently communicate with their children. If the mother in the story was not like this, but because she had a tiring day, she ignored Xiaohui's question: "Who is Ikkyu? Why do you want to be a monk? Children, go aside and play!" The outcome of the matter will be What will it be like?

The world of adults and the world of children should be equal and respectful of each other, and children's ideas and adults' ideas are equally important. Therefore, whether children want to discuss topics in the adult world, or adults want to enter the child's world, this kind of communication is particularly important.

To appreciate children, you must respect them. When your child wants to express his thoughts and opinions to you, give him enough time and space, and listen patiently to your child.

When your children suddenly want to express their opinions while you are talking to guests, do not suppress or suppress them. You should say: "Okay, kid, tell me your point of view!"

When the point made by the child is correct, you should say: "Kid, you are right!"

When your child takes the initiative to talk to you about his feelings and thoughts about something, don’t be impatient and muddle through. Instead, you should say to your child: “Let’s talk about it together.”

Respect children's games

One day, Mingming said to his father: "Shall we play an injection game together?"

"What injection game is it?" Dad was watching TV, a little impatient.

"I was sick a few days ago, and the nurse gave me an injection. Today I will also give my father an injection." Ming Ming said while making an injection gesture.

"Okay, stop messing around, dad doesn't have time!"

"It only takes a while, okay?" Ming Ming begged his dad.

"Didn't you see dad watching TV? Go find your mom!" Dad said very impatiently.

In fact, parents should be very happy to play games with their children. But now young parents are often unwilling to play games with their children; or they want to play games with their children, but don’t know what to play with.

From the perspective of appreciating children, parents should respect their children’s requests at this time and take time to play games with their children. This is not only to make the children happy, but also to use this opportunity to interact with their children. Useful communication can open their young hearts, understand the children more truly and accurately, and also allow the children to understand their parents.

If the above case continues, Mingming’s father should behave like this:

When Mingming went to his father to play games together, his father readily agreed.

"Okay, now I'm going to give you an injection." Mingming said to his father seriously.

"Are you starting now?" Dad pretended to be surprised and asked Mingming.

"Yeah, hurry up, I'm going to give you an injection!" He clearly "ordered" his father.

At this time, my father suddenly turned around and wanted to run away. As he ran, he pretended to shout in fear, "No! I don't want an injection! I'm afraid of pain, please!"

" Be good, don't be afraid, my injection won't hurt at all," Ming Ming said, imitating the nurse's tone.

Dad had no choice but to lie on the bed and let Mingming give her an "injection". "Dad, do you feel pain?" Mingming asked his father with a smile.

"It doesn't hurt. The injection obviously doesn't hurt at all. It's great! I will ask you to give me injections when Dad gets sick in the future." Dad said happily.

"Dad, why do you need injections when you get sick?" Ming Ming asked.

"Because the medicine is injected into our body during the injection. The medicine kills the disease-causing bacteria and viruses in the body, and our disease will be cured. You see, after you had the injection last time , you are not as lively as before! So when you are sick in the future, you should be obedient and let the nurse give you an injection, so that your illness will be cured soon." The father lost no time in educating the child.

"Oh, I know." Ming Ming nodded vigorously.

In games, if parents can relax and play the weak role and let their children play the strong role, they can soothe their children's negative memories in relaxed games and laughter. On the other hand, if the parent plays a weak role, the child will be confident enough to express his thoughts and feelings to you on important issues. As observers and listeners, parents should seize the opportunity to help their children relax the tension caused by a specific situation during play, so that the children can face it correctly in later life.

By respecting and participating in children's games, and appreciating their children during games, parents can observe their children's original inner world, deepen parent-child relationships through intimate communication, and help their children grow in a targeted manner. .

Some parents may worry that they will lose their children's respect by playing a weak role, but this worry is completely unnecessary. Your child may get excited about the opportunity to play with you in a fun way and keep pestering you, but it's totally worth it. After play, your child will become noticeably more affectionate, closer, and less defensive toward you, and sometimes their deeper feelings will come out freely. Play and laughter give your child complete confidence in your relationship, allowing you to learn more about his inner feelings.

When children ask to play with their parents, parents should not ignore or even scold their children, but should try their best to cooperate. You can say: "Okay, let's play games together!"

When your child plays a game that you don't know how to play, don't refuse your child's request to play together because of this, but learn as soon as possible: "Okay, then, But first you have to teach me how to play.

”

Be good at reminding and controlling your children when playing games with them. You can say: “Let’s play happily for an hour and then do our homework, okay?” ”

Respect children’s ideals

Seven-year-old Lulu was taken to the hospital by her parents to see a doctor. Lulu has just entered the first grade of elementary school, but has already studied piano for two years. My mother told the doctor that she cried as soon as she entered the teacher's house, and burst into tears as soon as she started practicing the piano. She even begged pitifully: "Mom, I really don't want to learn. "Although her mother is soft-hearted, her father insists on her learning piano and associates her talents with further education. He believes that after completing the studies, the child will have the opportunity to become a student with talents, which will be a bonus for entering a key middle school.

The piano teacher also gave her homework: she must practice 4 etudes every day. Once the child did not play well, the father would poke her head with his finger, push her and scold her loudly.

Lulu endured this for two years, and finally one day she couldn't bear it anymore: she often winked, pursed her lips, shrugged her shoulders, and moved her arms and legs uncontrollably. The head teacher also reported to her parents: "Lulu is in class. He winks and shakes his shoulders, often screams suddenly, has difficulty concentrating, and his academic performance declines. ”

Later, the doctor diagnosed Lulu as suffering from tics, which required long-term treatment to recover.

The above story is precisely because parents do not respect their children’s ideals and force their children to study Pianos cause great mental stress and long-term depression in children, thus inducing diseases.

In real life, parents often like to design ideals for their children since they are in elementary school. Their ideals have been planned step by step, and they even think about which university their children will go to in the future. For this reason, parents ignore their children's hobbies and ideals and force their children to develop according to their own design. If the child does not meet their own needs at one step. They completely deny all the efforts and achievements of their children, and even beat and scold them.

As a parent, it is understandable to hope that your son will succeed and your daughter will succeed, but in order for your child to have a good future, It is a pity to put too much pressure on children and make them overwhelmed and go to extremes.

The so-called appreciation of children means that parents should respect their children's ideals and choices. When engaging in hobbies, you must first seek your children’s opinions, respect their ideals, and then understand your children’s ideals and their true needs. Even if your children’s ideals deviate from your parents’ designs, you must communicate with your children calmly and respect your children. On the basis of ideals and choices, through discussion and discussion, let the children fully understand their parents' ideas, and then hand over the right of choice to the children.

When appreciating and respecting the children's ideals, we should also pay attention to one issue: Don't. Giving children too much pressure and warning in the early stages of establishing their ideals can easily dampen their enthusiasm and make them easily give up on their ideals. The correct approach is to encourage children to establish their ideals and work hard for them.

My father and his fourth-grade child were watching TV together. The child saw the majesty and magnanimity of the lawyer on the screen, sometimes quoting scriptures, sometimes giving examples, and everyone nodded in agreement, and he couldn't help but feel admiration. He told his father: "I will also be a lawyer in the future. "

My father immediately said: "Your ideal is very good, I support it. Being a lawyer is very impressive, being able to defend people eloquently in court. However, if you want to be a lawyer, you must memorize many legal provisions by heart, you must also learn a lot of other multi-faceted knowledge, and you must deal with various relationships in society in the future. If you want to become an excellent lawyer, you should start preparing to become a lawyer from now on! ”

Hearing what his father said, the child became more interested in the profession of a lawyer. From then on, he paid great attention to the courses and behavioral habits that lawyers should learn.

The child is exposed to When new things happen, ideals will naturally sprout. If parents think it is reasonable, they should give them appreciation and support.

But support is not about simply saying "good", nor is it about making demands immediately, or using purely rational and very strict ultimate standards to ask children. This will make children retreat and give up easily. Real support should be based on the child's realistic preparation and provide appropriate inspiration and guidance.

When a child expresses dissatisfaction with his parents' arrangements, parents should fully consider the child's hobbies and interests. You can say: "Tell mom which activity you like?"

When a child expresses his hobbies and ideals to his parents, he should tell the child: "Your ideal is really good. I support you and believe it." It will definitely come true through your efforts! ”