# Reading Notes # Reading Notes for Children's Character

Bookmark: # Parenting # # Positive Psychology # # Coach's Practice # # Studying in Fan Deng #

I have support, I have love, I have help, I have trust, and children can improve their resilience in a loving environment.

It is especially meaningful to realize some of your own advantages and sometimes talk about your differences and hobbies.

Believe that you have the ability to do what you want.

When a child does something, we must appreciate and affirm his success in time. Dopamine is a particularly important neurochemical transmitter that produces internal drive, which will be produced when celebrating your success, that is, the more you encourage and praise, the more children like to do it. The role models around you will also have a positive incentive effect. The other is positive action.

Tips: Parents can keep a diary of their children's growth, such as what they were saying, reciting and performing. Compared with now, it has improved a lot.

In brain science, when the external pressure is great, the development of cerebral cortex will be inhibited and the amygdala will play a role. It is the center of dealing with negative emotions. When negative emotions are generated, self-control is weakened, but when you are happy, positive and happy, self-control is enhanced. Therefore, a good way to cultivate self-control is to cultivate positive emotions, such as singing, dancing, listening to music, resting and eating.

The first method is physical exercise. The second is to do things you don't want to do, things you can't do well, things you can't do well, such as practicing the piano, standing and watching TV, practicing calligraphy with your left hand, using chopsticks with your left hand and so on. The third is mindfulness meditation.

If you are in a particularly bad mood and angry, staying up late is the worst choice, and it is easy to lose self-control. Self-control is also related to sleep. Adequate sleep and refreshing help to improve self-control.

When you are "psychologically rich", you will show your humanity, which is manifested in empathy, compassion, ability to love and creativity. People feel supportive, capable and positive, which will produce a kind nature.

When you are "psychologically poor", you will feel out of control, irrational and inhuman.

How to maintain psychological wealth? Let children feel love, ability, wisdom and freedom. Freedom means that children have the right to choose. Parents can make use of the little things in life to let their children make choices, such as what to eat at night and what to watch TV, which will make their children feel rich.

One is aesthetic ability. Compared with AI artificial intelligence, human beings can have a sense of beauty for things they have never seen and an appreciation for things they have never experienced. This is an amazing ability.

The second is created D. From 0 to 1, you have sudden inspiration, creativity and creation, and think of things that others can't think of.

The third is empathy. It is the ability to put yourself in others' shoes and understand their feelings and feelings.

Parents use love to explore and observe. Create observation opportunities, travel north and south, be well informed, listen to music, watch games and experience various life experiences.

My feelings #?

Recently, I often play and study with several classmates after school, and I also see some characteristics different from other children. For example, she can be quiet and active, and she is happy when she is crazy, just like a boy. When she is quiet, she picks up a book and a toy, and it will be quiet and easy to calm down. When getting along with her classmates, she is sometimes willing to take the lead in inviting them to come home to play, share delicious food with you, draw pictures, read books and watch TV together; Sometimes I will listen to other people's suggestions, such as going to other students' homes to play something, which is more easygoing. However, she also has a big temper. When encountering setbacks, she sometimes makes a hullabaloo about and cries, for example, she loses in playing games, her homework is slow, and her classmates insist on their opinions and don't listen to her. At home, we will take care of her feelings carefully and give her whatever she wants, but at school, in front of classmates and even in society, others sometimes don't care about your feelings, so you need to learn to deal with them. For example, when you are in a strong mood and know that you are going to lose your temper, you want to feel it. You can take a deep breath and tell yourself to endure the attack and say it. I recently borrowed a book about feelings. It would be great if children could tell exactly what their emotions are. Learn to say no to people who touch their uncomfortable boundaries and tell others that they can't, so I will be angry and I won't play with you ... This is to describe your boundaries clearly to each other and set rules. If you cross the line, it is also useful in the adult world. The other is to seek support. When you are bullied, you should know that you have support, including parents, teachers, other understandable classmates and so on. However, children's emotions come and go quickly and will not hold grudges. Once their emotions pass, they quickly admit their mistakes and will improve and adjust next time. This is a good start. Therefore, more contact with classmates can also see other aspects that children can't see at home.

Kindness is a child's real competitiveness.

When a child loses his temper, the first step is to guide him to ease his emotions and use the above methods to divert his attention from the attack. Don't punish him when he has an attack, there will be resistance. The second step is to actively enlighten him. What will happen if he loses his temper? If he understands and does things differently, there will be different results. The third step is to divert his attention and guide him to pay attention to some positive aspects, such as reading, listening to music, running and doing what he likes.

1. Take a deep breath. Deep breathing can mobilize sympathetic nerves and produce dopamine, so it is not only because it can slow down and have time to manage emotions, but also because it can really produce relaxing and pleasant hormones physiologically to regulate tension, tension and explosive emotions.

2. Touch your body, including touching your chest, stomach and clapping your hands.

Recommended picture book "Feifei is angry", picture book sharing-Feifei is angry with the classic emotional picture book, Cadillac Silver Award, what if the child is angry? -(jianshu.com)

Recommended picture book "Mom, I am really angry"

3. smell the incense. I use this myself. During the anxiety period two years ago, I began to regulate my emotional state and sleep through essential oils, such as lavender, sweet orange and roses (I don't like roses very much, but I like elegant ones). Junior players like me can choose compound essential oils of big brands, such as Muji's essential oils (sleeping, leisure, etc. ). Australian brands are in the essence of sleep, joy, balance, stress, etc. You can add the essential oil to the aromatherapy machine to volatilize, or add it to the base oil and use it on your body (this is an advanced stage. pure essential oils should not be used directly on the skin, but should be matched with the base oil. Novices had better buy brand blending oil, such as the essential oil mentioned above, which can be applied to wrists and other places. I will write an article about essential oil in the future, and talk about it in detail.

4. Communication, communication, speaking, exercise, meditation, etc.

This is related to Coach's dialogue, so the coach's dialogue can reach high trust in a short time. This kind of dialogue under trust is beyond the reach of ordinary friends, because it is not only to express, complain, complain and reveal, but also to reflect on self-knowledge and the future. No wonder we all feel relaxed, clear-headed and confident after being tutored.

Needless to say, exercise is full of dopamine.

Meditation is a lesson I have to do every day in my recent practice. Persistence is meaningful, but it is also difficult to maintain mindfulness. Because the nature of human brain is divergent, all kinds of "ideas" will come out, which will make us feel good, like the new and hate the old, and we can't concentrate. Therefore, the practice of mindfulness meditation is to "fight" with nature, which requires deliberate practice. The difficulty coefficient is not small, and I will be slightly satisfied with myself if I think about it, haha!

5. writing.

Writing suits me very well. I have the habit of writing under pressure since high school, including now. When writing, sorting out emotional thoughts into rational ones, or simply expressing them, can really relieve stress. Let the children write. At present, children are not good at writing, so they can say it instead. Writing will definitely lead to the baby in the future.

The author says that to regard resilience as immunity, children need to learn and exercise through setbacks. When encountering setbacks, it is inevitable that there will be losses and blows. This is an inevitable experience and challenge in life. After these experiences, I gradually learn to adapt and become stronger, but it needs to be gradual, from small to large, from weak to strong. Just like muscle exercise, there is a process from weak to strong. The first step to exercise resistance is to try. Parents should keep an open mind and encourage their children to try difficult tasks. If they can't do it, they should start from an easy point and allow them to make mistakes and try. This exercise should be chosen by children themselves, not designed and arranged by parents. Communicate with children about the difficulty of the challenge, such as the length of piano practice, the difficulty of music and the standard of progress.

It is very important that resilience is easy to improve in positive emotions and easy to decrease in negative emotions. It is necessary to give children a challenge when they are in a good mood and enhance their confidence.