The 7-year-old boy is often bullied by his classmates, and his mother has a plan to solve the crisis in school bullying. Great!

Author |? Rita, come on, Le Zhiyi students.

1 "He always hits me!"

In the evening, my son talked about Z, a particularly naughty boy in the class, who always fights with others.

I'm dealing with it while brushing my mobile phone.

My son has a good relationship with that child. I think, just messing around, as long as it doesn't affect him.

Dad suddenly said, "Stay away from him in the future. Didn't you say he always hit you? "

I am not calm at once: my son was beaten at school? I don't know?

I quickly asked my father, "When did this happen? Never heard of it? "

Dad said:

"He said it when I went to pick him up two days ago.

Two children in their class were fighting that day, and Z hit another child, so the parents looked for him.

My son told me that he was also beaten, but he didn't tell the teacher. "

I quickly asked my son to verify: "Son, does that Z in your class really always hit you?" Still kidding? "

The son said, "He often hits me. I didn't tell the teacher. The teacher won't let me complain. "

I quickly asked, "How did he hit you? Under what circumstances? "

I know my son's character. He doesn't make trouble, but his patience is limited. He didn't come back to tell me or report to the teacher, indicating that the problem is not serious.

The son said, "When I went to the toilet, that Z was hidden in front of the toilet. When I came out, he suddenly jumped out to scare me, then kept hitting my chest, and then ran away. "

I confirmed: "You said Z was your good friend. Is he joking with you like this? "

The son said, "He is like our classmate. He often hits people, sometimes it doesn't hurt, sometimes it hurts. "

I continue to confirm the child's feelings:

"Well, mom knows that he's teasing you on purpose, but he just didn't control it well.

After hearing what you said, don't you like this way? "

The son quickly said, "I don't like it very much." I told him not to fight, but he wouldn't listen. I asked the teacher to go and he made faces at me! " "

When children encounter behaviors that make them uncomfortable, but they still don't know how to deal with them, it seems that it is time for me to show my talents.

I asked, "Did you tell him seriously and clearly that you don't like fighting like this?"

The son said, "I yelled at him and he was still laughing." It's no use talking. "

I led my son: "Son, maybe you are wrong. You yelled when he was fighting. He thought you were accepting his challenge and thought it was funny. He won't listen to you. "

The son said angrily, "I'm so loud, but he still won't listen?"

Well, it seems that this 7-year-old boy needs my further guidance and demonstration in firmly expressing his feelings.

2? "But what if he doesn't listen?"

It's time to move out of the 34 1 affirmative method.

I asked, "What were you thinking when mom yelled at you angrily? Will you do your mother's request at once? "

The son said, "No, I will only be more angry and don't want to do it!" " "

I'm sure son:

"Yes, people can't think in emotions and don't listen at all.

Therefore, it is not that loud voices have power, but that what you say when you are calm is more memorable and more deterrent! "

"What should I say?" My son asked me for advice seriously.

I'm sure my son said, "You know he's joking with you, so you didn't tell your mother or your teacher, did you?"

The son nodded.

I continued to affirm: "but you don't like his way, which makes you feel uncomfortable, doesn't it?"

The son continued to nod.

I have opened my son's heart, and it's time to make suggestions for improvement:

"Mom suggested that the next time he does this, you can directly and seriously say: Z I don't like your slapstick, which makes me very uncomfortable. Let's play another game, shall we

If he agrees, you can play something else together. If he doesn't agree, keep calling. Just tell him: I don't want to play with you now.

Then walk away and avoid him. "

The son asked, "What should he do if he wants to chase me?"

I said, "then you can tell him: your way makes me uncomfortable, and we can't be friends if you do this again!" " "

The son continued to ask, "He doesn't care. Does he want to keep pestering me? "

I said, "Then you can tell the teacher."

The son said, "The teacher won't let me complain."

"You don't call back!" The father next to me seems to hate iron and not produce.

The son roared, "The teacher is not allowed to fight!" " "

I quickly affirmed my son:

"Well, you are a good student, and it's great to abide by the teacher's requirements and discipline.

But it is inevitable that someone will pick things up at school. In fact, they are quite timid. If you say no bravely every time, if you say too much, he won't dare to hit you. It's all bullying and fear of hard work. "

3? "Son, go bravely!"

My son is thoughtful, I continue to say:

"If his behavior has made you uncomfortable, you have been holding it, so you are unhappy at school. In the end, you may become the object of being bullied.

Today is Z, tomorrow may be W, everyone thinks you are a bully when they see you being beaten.

If it's worse, you may not even want to go to school. "

My son is still a little timid: "What if I tell him he won't listen?"

I also hate that iron doesn't produce steel: "We don't have to put up with it anymore. We don't make trouble, but we are not afraid of things. The worst thing is to fight back. "

"The teacher won't let me fight!" The son returned to the original point in frustration.

I know he still has fear and worry in his heart, so I quickly hugged him:

"Son, mother knows that you are very kind.

But there are always some unfriendly people. If we don't express my discomfort and resist, your kindness will eventually make you weak.

Do you want to be a coward or a brave man? "

"Brave!" The son shouted out without hesitation.

I said:

"You are only in grade one, and I believe that Z students didn't mean to hit people on purpose.

He just doesn't know how to play with people. Now all you have to do is talk to him and express your dislike. If he insists on this, we can't be good friends anymore. "

"But ..." The son still hesitated.

I quickly encouraged: "Son, not so much, but things are not as bad as you think." These are all your assumptions, right? "

My son nodded, and I continued:

"You try to express your discomfort to him first, ok?

This problem can be solved by communicating with teachers and parents.

But if you do this, others will help you solve the problem, and you may also attract more resentment and even revenge from Z students.

Only by bravely refusing and solving it yourself can we really solve the problem, and similar situations will not happen again. "

"Then I'll try!" The son reluctantly agreed.

I encouraged him to:

"Well, go bravely, mom believes you can handle it.

No matter what the result is, mom and dad are your strong backing, we support you and help you! "

"Ok, I see, I'll tell him tomorrow!" This time, my son's answer is much more powerful.

four

The next afternoon, as soon as I got home, my son excitedly told me:

"Mom, I told Z today that I don't like his slapstick, which makes people very annoyed and uncomfortable. I hope he won't do that again.

He said no at first, and I said I wouldn't be friends with him.

Later, he came to me again and said it wouldn't happen again. We played other games together. "

I quickly affirmed:

"Well, son!

You see, when you bravely express your discomfort, bravely say no.

Not only did it not produce the bad consequences you thought, but it was understood and recognized by friends.

Even avoid the possibility of being bullied by others in the future! "

"hmm!" The son nodded happily.

I told my son:

"In fact, many times, what others will do is our own fantasy.

Only when you truly express your thoughts and emotions will you know what others are like.

If you don't try, you never know what will happen, right? "

The son nodded thoughtfully.

I continue to say gently:

"In fact, many times, we are repeatedly bullied because we choose silence and tolerance.

Children who bully others are not born bad, because too many people choose connivance and patience, which encourages their courage.

When someone bravely says no to him and actively expresses his emotions, the bully will know how to be popular.

In this way, what is actually achieved is a win-win result. "

Although my son is only 7 years old now, I know from his confident and thoughtful expression that he has really learned this experience of self-expression and respect for boundaries.

Later, I asked my son if classmate Z would continue to fight with him.

The son said:

"No, we found more fun games and better ways to get along.

Not only did he stop playing with me, but he also stopped playing with other students.

Everyone likes him a little more than before! "

Haha, it seems that a precursor of campus bullying was easily killed in the cradle by our positive and firm expression!

The best time to plant a tree is ten years ago, followed by now.

The best time to teach children to express themselves and bravely say no is to have the consciousness and ability to express themselves and follow their hearts before children encounter challenges.

Secondly, when children encounter challenges, they should accompany, support and guide them in time, shout out that no gently and firmly, and set a boundary of respect in interpersonal communication.

In this way, children will learn to create mutually respectful and comfortable interpersonal relationships.

And the child who bullied others also learned a more positive interactive way from others' rejection, and the win-win educational result is worth celebrating!

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