See through the words of eccentric in-laws (I cured my mother-in-law's eccentricity)

My concept of mate selection is deeply influenced by my cousin.

My cousin's parents-in-law prefer boys to girls and make great efforts to have boys.

This directly affected my concept of mate selection. In the future, my husband must have two brothers, so I don't have to do it? A fertility machine? .

After marriage, I gave birth to a daughter, in-laws? Pacify? I said:? It's okay. Anyway, you must have a second child in the future. ?

I was silent and didn't speak.

So my sister-in-law gave birth to a boy, and I was more excited than anyone. Because my in-laws have grandchildren, they won't chase me to have a second child.

However, everything can only be said that I think it is too simple.

When my in-laws came to the city to take care of the children, they naturally lived with us.

Because of different parenting concepts, and my husband and I occasionally have contradictions, my in-laws also like to intervene, and the contradictions are gradually increasing. In addition, my in-laws made it clear that since I came to the city, I would not go back, so my husband and I discussed buying another house for my in-laws nearby.

Just brother-in-law's house is nearby, so there is a little distance between the three families, not too far away, and they have a care for each other.

But the reality is, I am so naive!

Because my in-laws live close to my brother-in-law's house, this has become his second home.

Adults and children go to eat and drink. My brother-in-law's children basically grew up in our home before they went to kindergarten. After I went to kindergarten, my parents-in-law basically picked me up.

Because my job was transferred when my daughter was three years old, I quit my job and worked as a sideline at home. Sometimes, I occasionally have something to do and want to send my daughter to my in-laws for a long time. I didn't expect my mother-in-law to look unhappy, which means I don't go to work and want them to help with the children. Occasionally, I ask my in-laws to pick up my children, but they always push from pillar to post, either listening to health lectures outside or going to supermarkets and other special dishes. Later I learned that my in-laws were busy taking care of my brother-in-law's family. Although my sister-in-law is on maternity leave, my brother-in-law always sends her children to her in-laws, and the young couple basically eat there at night.

It's okay. After all, it's my parents' duty to help me take care of the baby, and it's also my duty not to pick up the baby, but I never thought my daughter would be wronged.

Once I was so anxious that I temporarily entrusted my daughter to my in-laws.

When my daughter came home, she said that she never wanted to go to her grandparents' house again.

Only after asking did I know that my daughter and nephew were in conflict, and nephew drove her home. The daughter said that this is not his home, but the grandfather next to him said: This house is neither his nor yours. ? I was so angry that I wanted to argue with my father-in-law, but my husband said that he was so petty and cared so much about a casual remark.

This house is ours. Although in-laws live in it, utilities and property fees, including in-laws' mobile phone cards, are husband's secondary cards.

I comfort myself that these are small things, home and everything, I endure!

But one thing happened, which broke out completely for me.

Although my sister-in-law gave birth to a son, my in-laws have not stopped urging me to have a second child for so many years.

Said there were no boys in our family, and even my father-in-law wrote it in the newspaper? Nothing bigger? Come to my house often and slam the door on my face.

I got pregnant unexpectedly last year. I survived the pregnancy in 10, and had a caesarean section again. I hope my in-laws are satisfied.

At that time, my husband was transferred to other places to work. He asked his in-laws to help with the children, but his father-in-law quietly found a job. Mother-in-law, take care of your brother-in-law's children.

Go to my brother-in-law's house to pick up the children in the morning, clean and wash clothes, pick up the children to cook at night and go home to sleep after dinner.

I think they have been urging me to have a second child before, patting my chest and saying, I will be born if I am born, and we will bring it. My heart is cold.

My husband has always advised me to take care of the children myself, saying that my father-in-law has gone out to work and discussed with him.

But this time, I really don't want to endure it.

For so many years, we scrimped and saved, and provided a house for our in-laws to live in with loans.

As for them, my husband and I never seem to need help, and my brother-in-law has always been inseparable from their help.

Even once at dinner, my mother-in-law said that when the children were all in school, they would go to work to earn money and buy a car for their sister-in-law to facilitate their work.

My brother-in-law is ungrateful, and my in-laws think we should. Why?

Suddenly I remembered a sentence:? A bucket of rice raises a benefactor and a liter of rice raises an enemy? . To do good, we must persist in doing it. Once you stop doing it, others will not remember your former goodness, but will only say that you have gone bad.

Then I made a comeback and found the reason why my mother-in-law was eccentric.

Misplaced family relationships. My father-in-law left home to do business when he was young. As the head of the family, the husband not only helps his mother-in-law do some housework within his power, but also takes care of his younger brother and sister. In the words of her mother-in-law, he is half a man at home.

My husband is taking care of my mother-in-law's miscarriage. Whether the brother-in-law talks about marriage or buying a house, her mother-in-law and my husband discuss it, and my father-in-law has nothing to do with it. So my mother-in-law got used to relying on her husband, and even ignored me and my children behind her husband.

2. No sense of boundaries.

Although my brother-in-law is married, whenever there are contradictions in my brother-in-law's family, my husband will participate, even in order to solve these contradictions, regardless of my feelings.

Once, my brother-in-law and sister-in-law were angry because no one helped their children with their homework. I cann't believe he took the initiative. He said that my nephew can do homework in our house in the future, and he also told me that you are different from tutoring one or two.

My husband thinks so, and my mother-in-law is also biased.

I don't know how to express my feelings.

Husband always reports good news instead of bad news. A penny at home can be said to be ten dollars. Over time, my in-laws feel that my family has good economic conditions.

In fact, our thermos bottles are all from my college days. It's been used for more than 20 years, and we still have to save some money.

My husband doesn't know how to refuse my in-laws' needs, including another house in our family, which was bought in the Disciples' Regulation Community. My mother-in-law thinks her husband's family is weak and wants to help them more.

My husband is largely to blame for the partiality of my in-laws.

Knowing the reason, I began to think about solving it. Coincidentally, my mother-in-law recently proposed to buy a car.

Learn to talk? No? After the children's summer vacation, the mother-in-law asked us to pay for a car on the grounds that it was windy and rainy and it was unsafe for the father-in-law to ride an electric car to pick up the children, and the children also suffered.

Although it is to pick up the children, after one year, the number of times my father-in-law can pick up the children is very few, and we still have to call for help. Most of the time, my father-in-law is picking up my brother-in-law's children. I usually go to school, and I have classes on weekends. I go back and forth eight times a day. My mother-in-law recognized the refusal in my tone and called my husband directly to ask him what he meant.

2. learn weaknesses?

This time, I grabbed the right to speak one step faster.

I put out all the difficulties of our family in recent years, including how frugal we are to pay off the mortgage on the house where they live.

This is not only for my mother-in-law, but also for my husband.

Brother-in-law's two children learn piano and buy piano. In order to save money, my husband is only willing to learn painting for his children, saying that he doesn't need to buy equipment to save money.

Besides, my husband is middle-aged. In order to make money, entertainment ruined his stomach before. I wonder what will happen in the future.

My mother-in-law was very surprised, but because she was used to everything we asked her, she used the killer? Go back to your hometown? .

3. Establish a sense of boundaries.

Every time my mother-in-law mentions going back to my hometown, my husband is timid. Because I love my in-laws, I always feel that we are in the city and let them go back with a bad conscience.

But I think it's not a bad thing to go back to my hometown. Both parents and children have the right to live the life they like. Old people don't have to take care of their children and grandchildren.

In order to prevent in-laws from returning to their hometown, husbands are basically obedient. However, both parents and our children have the right to live the life they like.

I told my husband that my parents should go back when they go back, and we should go back to see them more. Life in their later years belongs to them, and they don't have to take care of their children and grandchildren.

My husband recognized my idea, so when my mother-in-law asked her husband for advice, what was the answer? No extra money for the time being? . My mother-in-law said angrily: Ok, listen to you, don't buy it, let's go home. ?

My husband nodded and said, if you really want to go back, I will ask for leave to see you off. ?

After this incident, my in-laws never mentioned buying a car again.

Maybe what I said has had an effect and my in-laws have changed a little.

If you have something, you will often ask us to come over for dinner, and you will also take the initiative to ask us if we want to help look after the children.

The house where my in-laws live is on the first floor, and there is a garden, which my mother-in-law will use to grow vegetables. Most of the time, no matter what dishes, she gave them to her brother-in-law's family.

From now on, I will also be asked to pick some green peppers and pinch some vegetables.

It is said that it is normal for parents to be eccentric, but there are always more ways than problems.

Blindly forbearing will not solve the problem, but will only accumulate more and more grievances, which will erupt one day.

Sometimes, reminding parents to ask for some love is more conducive to family harmony ~

I don't know why, the story of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law around me is a bit wonderful.

Speaking of mother-in-law, friends and girlfriends began to pour bitterness, and one friend divorced because of her mother-in-law (I don't know if you want to see it? )

However, I don't want to send wonderful stories all the time. Have you ever met a warm-hearted mother-in-law Welcome to share in the message area.

Hello, I'm Li Diandian, my 3-year-old daughter tomato and my 7-year-old son potato hemp. He is good at recording the daily life of the second-born chicken with cartoons and words, and sharing the parenting sentiment and marriage humor.