Memories of an derailed woman, a self-report of an derailed woman who regretted it too late.

A fan came to chat with me and said that she had been married 10 years. She didn't ask my advice, just wanted to talk about her extramarital affairs.

According to the past practice, her experience is described in the first person, which is convenient for everyone to read.

Two years ago, a classmate's news opened my sinful road, and it was too late to regret it ~

The sender's surname is Zhang. I don't remember much. I only remember that he studied well and didn't have much money at home and didn't talk much. Anyway, he is the kind of person who has a low sense of existence.

He added me through group chat. The first sentence is: "Old classmate, remember me?"

I didn't take it to heart either, and later he praised my circle of friends from time to time.

Just one day, my husband and I had another big fight. I was in a particularly bad mood. Originally, I wanted to send a circle of friends to talk about my heart, but I felt that things at home were hard to say, but I especially wanted to vent.

So I wrote a few words casually and matched a picture of a crying doll.

He asked me privately: What's the matter with you? Did something happen to you? Is there anything I can do for you?

I am full of grievances and have nowhere to tell, and I think he is my old classmate and trustworthy. Besides, he and I are not from the same circle, and what we said will not be spread. So I told him about my years of pain.

I am not ugly. Since junior high school, some bad teenagers have always blocked me at the school gate and whistled. At first, I refused. Later, one of the boys, my current husband chased me, and I accepted him later.

At that time, after being with my husband, I sometimes skipped classes and my academic performance was not good. In the end, I only got into one college. Not long after graduation, I got pregnant and had to get married.

My husband dropped out of high school, and I'm just a junior college student. The couple have no money and can't help it. They have to rely on their parents' help to raise their children. After ten years of marriage, my husband went out early and returned late every day, doing nothing, fooling around with his brothers and making no money.

I advised him to do something serious. Our county is so big, for example, he refuses to open a small shop, saying that he can't afford to lose that person and wants to do big business.

Later, I asked my dad for100000 yuan and opened the store. For this store, I get up early and get greedy every day, and I'm too tired to keep my back straight. When I met a difficult customer, I had to pay the price for smiling.

Even so, my husband never makes moves, and sometimes he brings acquaintances to save face and doesn't ask me for money. Later, every time we quarreled, his words were: If I hadn't helped you win such customers, your broken shop would have closed long ago.

Later, my store did well, and opened three more one after another, which is regarded as a "chain enterprise" in the county. Finally, it's no problem to feed me and my children, and finally I don't have to squat in the store every day. At first, this husband despised the "small business" he refused to do, but now it has become his bragging capital, pretending to be the boss outside.

After so many years of marriage, my husband has never taken a penny home. It's all up to me.

What was the fuse of that quarrel? Because I found my husband stealing my money to go whoring.

I told all this to my old classmates, and Zhang was particularly surprised. It took him a long time to say, but I didn't expect you to be so unhappy.

He talked with me for a long time that day. First, he comforted me. Later, he said, in fact, he just wanted to know my recent situation and how I was doing. He also said that he liked me at the beginning, but he was afraid to confess.

He also said that I was his first love and his "lifelong obsession"

After ten years of marriage, I left the love story for too long, forgetting the taste of love, forgetting coquetry, forgetting coquetry, and even forgetting my gender.

I actually feel my cheeks burning, as excited as a girl in love.

He also told me his own experience. After graduating from junior high school, he was admitted to the key high school in the county, and later he was the only one admitted to 985 University in our class. Later, he went to graduate school and worked in an enterprise in our provincial capital after graduation. Although he has only worked for less than 10 years now, he is already the vice president of their company.

He is only in his early thirties!

I almost worship him. In fact, girls naturally have a good impression on boys with good grades. What's more, he keeps saying that he likes me. After a while, he chased me, said sweet words every day, and sent a big bunch of roses to my shop on my birthday.

In this way, I was cheated. Needless to say, the details are similar to others. The first time I was with him, I was very happy and excited, like a little girl who fell in love again, but I was also nervous and blamed myself for my family. After the first love, I didn't dare to find him on WeChat for three or four days, and he didn't contact me. I even thought, have I been cheated? Or had a one-night stand?

Four days later, he came to me on WeChat. He said that he had thought about it for several days and would get along with me seriously and live up to my affection.

To tell the truth, his reply and the break-up four days after his first love made me feel that he was very good and a good man with cautious behavior.

And half of his circle of friends is about his wife, praising her for cooking and writing some interesting details about getting along with her. I think a man who is so responsible and considerate to his wife must be responsible for extramarital affairs.

In this way, I gradually fell in love with him.

Although he works in the provincial capital and I am in the county, I just said that our county is close to the provincial capital and it is convenient to meet. I have been with him for two years, and I am really happy and satisfied. I feel like a happy little woman, loved and protected by him.

At first, I really thought he could catch all my negative emotions, and it was always nice to chat with him. His words will make me feel very comfortable.

I think he knows me best in the world.

Unfortunately, I learned later that there is a man who can give every woman the feeling of "bosom friend" because he has too many women and knows women too well.

Looking back now, behind his gentleness, he is actually very strong and selfish.

For example, WeChat chat, he has been looking for me. If I go to him, he will never come back. After a long time, I got into the habit that he only came to me when it was convenient.

In addition to WeChat chat, the appointment time is also based on his time.

Basically, they met according to his time gap.

These habits he cultivated for me made me very passive during this long two-year affair.

Sometimes after waiting for a day, he doesn't return my message. At this time, I will be very upset.

I make excuses for him in my mind, and his wife is also quite powerful. He is a little afraid of his wife. He is very busy, both at work and at home, and he will be free to chat with me after serving his wife and children at night. I'm sending my children to the remedial class this weekend. Please meet me when you have time.

A man really loves a woman and can't help but want to spend money for her.

On the contrary, a woman who really loves a man is afraid to ask him for money.

Our ambiguous relationship and my love for him made me stay with him for two years, without asking for gifts or money.

On May 20th every year, he will only send me a small red envelope.

But even so, I am very satisfied and happy. As long as he is with me and he is willing to chat with me, I will be happy. At that time, I looked down on all the third girls who asked men for money. I think this puts myself on the level of prostitutes, and the money involved is not pure.

I don't want money, and I don't want to be a regular customer.

However, even though I was docile in all aspects, he gradually gave me the cold shoulder.

Not long ago, he told me that his wife seemed to have noticed him and secretly checked his mobile phone several times, but his words were disguised. He told me not to contact for the time being.

I agreed very cleverly, but I waited for more than a month for my birthday. I thought that even if I didn't contact him, he could send me a small red envelope on my birthday anyway, but there was nothing.

I thought he forgot. On the second day of his birthday, I couldn't help sending him a message with a trumpet, "Yesterday was my birthday."

As before, as long as I take the initiative to send WeChat, he never replies.

I suddenly feel so cold.

This year, I gave it to him wholeheartedly and never asked for anything, whether it was money or birthright.

It's not that I never imagined that he would divorce and marry me, but he always stressed to me that he would not divorce. I also know that he loves his son very much, and he will keep his marriage for his son's sake.

I have settled for the second best, or have I been abandoned by him so mercilessly that I don't even have a statement?

I am really angry. I sent a large message on WeChat and quarreled with him. He didn't answer.

Finally, when I called, I casually said that I had 20,000 yuan, or I would tell his wife.

But the last sentence scared him, and he told me not to mess around. He said he was willing to pay, but he had no money and could only give 2000.

I dug a hole myself and jumped, chilling. My relationship with him for two years is only worth 2000 yuan.

But I decided to take the money. I admit I was a little angry.

He drove to my shop, left an envelope of 2000 yuan and left.

When I contacted him again, I found that he blacked me out, but I couldn't contact him. Later, I bought a new card in the business hall to call him, and he only answered. On the phone, he yelled at me, saying that it was necessary because of two of a kind. He also called me snobbish and greedy, and he totally misjudged me.

I was scolded by him and felt that I really shouldn't ask him for money. I said I was just testing you. I don't really want money. I'll pay you back 2000 yuan. He said, I don't want it! Don't contact again.

I cried, but he blackmailed me, and I couldn't return the money to him, so I had to send it to him by express. I don't want a penny, I want to prove that my love for him is pure.

But he still ignored me, and since then, he has disappeared in my life! What should I do?

Finally, write a whisper, any feelings, talk about a balance and position.

If the stages are not equal, there will be problems.

It is obvious from your letter that your extramarital lover is an expert in fish farming and has a high rank. He is definitely not the only extramarital lover, and the principle he believes in is: zero-cost derailment.

This kind of man maintains a perfect man, husband and father in marriage, and his circle of friends is also extremely high-end.

But these people all have a particularly complete set of good routines in their hearts. How to seduce, how to set traps, how to teach you all kinds of cheating habits, and how to leave a way out for yourself, he has long been clear.

Men all have a complex of success and returning home with clothes on. What you said should be the same. I believe that he said that he had a crush on you in junior high school, which may be true. That's because his family is poor and self-abased, so he dare not confess. He has something more important: changing his destiny through learning.

Obviously, he did it.

Who will you show off to when you succeed? An old friend like you, of course.

Besides, as a man who feels good about himself, he wants to conquer more members of the opposite sex and constantly prove his charm.

The easier it is to get, the less it will be cherished.

Zhang got you easily, and naturally he won't cherish this zero-cost derailment. Because with his charm, there are still many women waiting for him to conquer.

Tired of it, just go. This is the label of every love rat.

My advice to you is:

You have a failed marriage, because many emotions can't be satisfied in marriage, so you expect to make amends in extramarital affairs.

However, two years of extramarital affairs have left you scarred. You find that extramarital affairs not only do not solve your marriage problems, but make your life worse.

So, at this time, you have to understand that what you need to solve most is the marriage problem. Instead of using extramarital affairs to cover up marital conflicts.

Dear, you can carefully evaluate whether the existing marriage is still necessary.

Now that you have face, you can support yourself, and that pimp, going forward, ruined your studies, and will it ruin your future life? He took many detours in your first 30 years, and now you finally have your own career. He went whoring today. It is not impossible to gamble the day after tomorrow and drag you into the water one day.

As for this classmate Zhang, consider it as a growing experience for you. At least, you have gained a short-lived passion from these two years of infidelity, haven't you? Whether it's you, Bai Piao, him, or him, Bai Piao, you, it's over.

Think about it this way, maybe you will feel better. I wish you come out soon and embrace a new life.