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Old people always interfere in educating their children.
Countermeasures for the elderly to interfere with their parents' education 1. Communicate with the elderly and clarify their interests.
Young parents should communicate with the elderly at home, learn from each other, learn from each other's strengths, resolve the differences and contradictions between the two generations in parenting, and make some compromises and concessions to each other. Although the baby is still young, it is an important period of habit and gender development. Young parents should let the old people distinguish the difference between love and doting, and should not be too indulgent and doting. You know, blindly streaking will only make children become more and more unruly, and at the same time, parents will lose their dignity in proper discipline, which will eventually delay the healthy growth of children. If the mother's communication is ineffective, in order to avoid the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it is necessary to give full play to the role of husband at this time.
2. Establish a United front for the whole family.
On the issue of educating children, all family members should reach a United front, and parents must not be busy with discipline, and the elderly should follow suit. Parents and the elderly should reach an agreement through consultation. When disciplining children, it is best for the elderly to stay out of it and try to safeguard their parents' dignity in front of them, so that children will not be xenophobic and know how to respect their parents. Secondly, even if there are differences between the two sides, don't expose them in front of the children. This will only make the children feel a little lucky when they make mistakes.
Be brave and stick to your point of view
On the issue of educating children, we will never compromise on principles. Although this is too selfless, you must establish your majesty in your child's heart and let him know not to violate the bottom line. Some parents spit, and whenever they educate their children, the elderly always come out to interfere. I want to say that even if the old people get involved, they should bravely stick to their own views. Don't interrupt normal education just because the other person is an old man. This will only make children feel that no matter what mistakes they make, they have a backer. Of course, in order to avoid aggravating family conflicts, parents can avoid their children, actively communicate with the elderly afterwards, accept the advice of the elderly with an open mind, and minimize positive conflicts.
4. Distance produces beauty
For grandparents? Defend yourself for your mistakes? Behavior, I really understand this pain, because before the baby was 2 years old, she was also under the same roof as her in-laws. I also deeply understand the old people's doting on their children. So in order to let the children develop an independent personality, I finally discussed with my husband to choose to move out and live alone. Of course, it doesn't mean not to look after the children for the elderly. It's just that distance can make children feel that they have no backing after making mistakes and accomplish what they can.
5. Don't discipline children in front of old people.
I have to say that parents often quarrel with the elderly because of their children's education problems, which will also have a bad influence on innocent children. Therefore, if your old people are paranoid and unable to communicate, or you can't move out alone like me, then you can choose the opportunity to educate your children skillfully. Try not to discipline children in front of the old people, and avoid them when you reason with them. But remember, when educating children, don't completely deny the practice of the elderly, which will only make children rebellious.
6. Take time to communicate with children
Nowadays, many young parents are busy at work, leaving the problem of raising children to the elderly at home. You know, no matter how busy parents are, they should also have a correct attitude, spend more time with their children and educate them. It is extremely irresponsible for children to blindly hand over the right to education and custody to the elderly, which also increases the burden on the elderly.
Parents interfere in children's education 10 solution 1. Give respect and affirmation, and let all parents enter the same camp.
Do you have confidence in your educational philosophy? If this is the case, then the people of your previous generation will have the same confidence in their own views, not to mention that they have the golden right to speak in parenting: "This is how you were raised, so it is good to be different." Everyone is obsessed with their own ideas, because they will remember those examples that are helpful to them. Therefore, when you feel that children don't respect and care about your own opinions, you will only want to prove yourself more. If we can reach an agreement with our parents, we should make efforts to make a good parenting plan, reflect on our own shortcomings in time, and establish an atmosphere in which no one can regard reflection as "admitting defeat" or "admitting mistakes". If the conflict is serious, children should take the lead in adopting a learning attitude, remember that the intentions of their elders are always good, imagine what they will think when they become the older generation, and communicate with each other from the perspective of pushing themselves and others. But what if you still don't get feedback?
2. Introduce a third party, such as a teacher or an expert.
If you find it difficult to maintain a respectful attitude and introduce different educational methods at the same time, you can stand in the same camp at the same time, "quote" from the outside world and "learn" from the outside world. Once grandparents feel that you are learning this new idea at the same time, rather than educating them after you have learned it, the effect will be much better.
3. Solve the problem that you have nothing to do
What do children's grandparents and grandparents like to do? Try to support and encourage their hobbies materially and spiritually! Differences between people are often greater than similarities, and once they get along for a long time, it is easy to intensify contradictions. Let their lives be truly enriched and spend less time and thought on their children, so it is not easy to cause extreme doting.
4. First, handle three relationships.
A mother said that at ordinary times, she felt that her parents-in-law were disgusted with her. When their conditions for raising children are not met, she will say something in a strange tone: "Don't blame us for the poor teaching of children". Such a situation may appear in a family where the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is already very good and harmonious? Many new educational problems only reflect deep-seated contradictions. If we can consolidate, manage and reconcile the new family and husband-wife relationship before having children, the contradictions after having children will be alleviated a lot.
Timely report
When grandparents or grandparents and parents take care of children at the same time, one of the most effective ways to increase mutual trust and support is to tell each other whatever you do to ensure that your direction is recognized by the other party. Contradictions and escalation of contradictions often stem from surprise and dissatisfaction. For example, if a mother sends her children to boarding school without saying hello to her in-laws, I'm afraid she won't be able to calm her complaints in the next few years.
6. Let children consciously obey your discipline.
Beibei complained that since the child was brought up by grandparents, no matter when he was taken care of, he couldn't listen to criticism, and sometimes he said, "I won't tell you, I'll go back to grandma's house!" " ",irritating. However, do children want to communicate with grandparents because they really understand their preferences, ideas and mentality? The relationship with children is strong enough, nutritious enough, full of love and happiness, which is the first element for children to obey their parents' discipline. Many parents usually neglect to take care of them, hoping that their children will listen to their own words most, that is, thinking about having both fish and bear's paw. All gains are based on hard work, and children will naturally rely on and follow those who know him best. Some parents often take care of all aspects of their children, but they may not always meet their spiritual needs; Once parents really communicate with their children, the effect will not exceed distance and time.
7. Smile more and frown less.
Body language can express our true attitude more than what we say. Wen Wenma said that she is very respectful and polite to her parents-in-law, but she just can't get each other's love, so she is worried. However, this sentence just shows that Wen doesn't really treat her parents-in-law as "family", and her attitude is more distant than affectionate. How can the other party be sincere to you?
8. Assign work
Before the children's grandparents take full control of their children's lives, they can "pre-emptively" find the highlights of grandparents' care for their children, tidy up their houses and electrical appliances, arrange their sleep and diet, take their children for an outing, and give them full affirmation and gratitude. After children's grandparents realize their parenting value and feel happy, they are likely to spend more energy to improve their "professional intensity" in these areas, and will not get involved in other aspects too much.
9. Talk about terms
Communicate with parents as gently as possible: it doesn't matter if children live like aristocrats in your home. We are willing to let them be more spoiled. But if children are used to being spoiled, they may have a hard time at school in the future, and we can't manage it at school. Look, son, you have few rules here. Can you let him come once a week? If we can give him more norms and come to your side, it will relieve our pressure. Thank you for not being too late!
10. Never say anything hurtful.
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