What funny comments does Taobao have?

[Details] The quality of this baby is so poor that it rotted after only ten minutes on the body.

[Explanation] Is this torn? Did you have a fight with your husband? Tell him it's not good to tear women's clothes.

The store recommended super comfortable underwear.

[Details] It is not suitable for personal wear at all, and the skin will feel itchy. How to deal with it?

[Explanation] Scratch when it itches.

Health-care shoulder bag with crown flushing, postage and spine protection functions

[Details] Okay

[Explanation] Well, just give a comment. I really miss you. (Friendly explanation, KO means to knock down in boxing)

Wan Wen Walnut No.019 Dongbeizi

[Details] To tell the truth, I came for the price, thinking it would be better to sell expensive things. Yes, walnuts are all in good shape and cleaner than those on the market, but they are all hard. I broke the small core inside with a hammer.

[Explanation] Wrong! This is the consequence of taking pictures without touching. This is called Wan Wen Walnut, which is for playing in your hand, not for eating!

Summer business ultra-thin cotton socks

[Detail] There is a big hole in the sock.

[Explanation] Every sock will have this big hole. How can you get in without it?

Windproof and warm mask

[Detail] The quality is not very good, and the rubber band around the ear is very tight, which makes the ear a little attractive.

[Explanation] Be careful when marrying a daughter-in-law. Your ears are a little soft.

Casual long bottoming shirt

[Details] Sorry, I found out after buying it that you are more than three times more expensive than others.

[Explanation] You splash eight times more than others.

Multifunctional one-shoulder couple bag

[Details] What a disappointment. If something goes wrong, don't look for the reason. Taobao bought too many things. It's my bad luck this time. Alas, I am a VIP customer of Taobao.

[Explanation] Such a cheap thing gives bad reviews. Please remove the letter VI.

Interesting sounding teddy bear

[Details] It doesn't sound good, but it doesn't look good either. The baby doesn't like it at all. There is a black lump on the back of the bear's ass, which seems to have been hit by someone else.

[Explanation] The black one opened, plugged in the fifth battery, and it rang.

Pet toys: hard and solid bones

[Details] My dog doesn't bite. I don't know why. Bad reviews.

[Explanation] Dogs have their own preferences just like people. Dogs don't like it, so they won't bite. Bite me if you don't like it.

Long-sleeved five-diamond casual men's spring clothes sell well.

[Details] The clothes are not far from the picture, they are big and the sleeves are quite long. I'm short, and I can hardly wear it. I was scolded by my wife when I got home. I am really angry. I often buy clothes online, and it's the first time to give bad reviews to the store, because it's the first time I've encountered such a situation.

[Explanation] Did I travel to the Song Dynasty? Hello, Brother Wu Dalang, I sympathize with you.

Canine parvovirus test paper

[Details] I repeatedly used this test paper to test, and there was no color display. Does this mean that the test paper is not good and I bought a fake one? You don't admit it's fake, so why can't I test whether the dog is infected with canine distemper virus?

[Explanation] No need to measure it, it has been transferred to you.

Vacuum packaging authentic shredded lamb tripe

[Details] I can't bite at all. Eating once is like fighting a war. It hurts my cheek. It takes three days to chew a bag. What a product.

[Explanation] You can chew fart for three days. Admire.

Code-breaking children's cute coat corduroy double hooded

[Details] Without compassion, patience and love, how can I rest assured of such service?

[Explanation] I'm fucking upset now!

Fashion visual sense dama women's dress

[Details] I always pay when I receive the goods, and I dare not compliment things. After I get it, I want to rinse it with clear water. Once I put them in the water, the water will turn black. After washing for a while, a layer of black floc surfaced on the water.

[Explanation] Then two vampires came out of the water and screamed at you, right? I think you've seen too many ghost movies.

[Automatic delivery] Q coins 10 RMB 100 (unofficial recharge)

[Details] Never talked to me from beginning to end, even a word.

[Explanation] Get out

Organic bamboo fiber antibacterial underwear packaging gift box

[Details] Why is it a box of underwear?

[Explanation] This is a box for packing. Who said there would be underwear in it? Do I have to buy a box with underwear in it? So when you buy underwear, I have to put a penis in it?

Lifebai deep hydrating sleep mask 170g with lucky draw.

[Details] How is the lottery card scratched? Shaved means it's second-hand. If you win the prize, you can ask for it yourself. If you don't win the prize, you can give it to me, right? Then you put the scraped card in. What is this IQ? You can't lie!

[Explanation] This, this, this should be done by my son. I'll beat him when he comes back from school!

Boutique leather men's automatic belt buckle

[Details] This bad review was given. The picture is seriously inconsistent with the goods. If you don't solve it after sale, I'll call the police if you harass me by phone.

[Explanation] Look at that. Pretty scary. I don't care about you.

Pure woolen sweaters can be machine washed.

[Details] What kind of wool is this? It is yellow and black. Please be careful!

[Explanation] Is this a hybrid? The sheep on the grassland are like this on TV.

High-grade cotton-padded jacket H4006 black and blue gift.

[Details] Oh, my God, where did you get the gift? Clothes are worn by others, and you still have other people's things in your pocket. What rubbish!

[Explanation] What is in the pocket is a gift. Thank you.

High elastic fashion striped cotton, highly recommended.

[Details] This is not worth 90 yuan.

[Explanation] The price of this dress is 78, not 90, thank you!

Natural freshwater pearl necklace

[Details] Hum!

[Explanation] Hum! Afraid of you!

Multi-color value napped scarf

[Details] This family sells all fakes, which is deceptive!

[Explanation] This is my ex-wife's revenge. You don't have to pay attention to her. She is a crazy woman.

Soup stock spiced beef jerky manufacturers direct sale

[Details] What is slow is express delivery, followed by quality, and what is lacking is service, which hurts people's hearts.

[explanation] NB, it doesn't rhyme at all

Fashion bag in summer

[Details] The seller's service is not good. Although I know you are busy, there is no need to reply to me every time. It's not as easy as it sounds. It's either good or good. It's disrespectful to say it word for word. Give a bad review.

[Explanation] Bah

Product name: Yunnan third-class Pu 'er tea

"Details": it doesn't look good, and it can't be pleasant to drink!

"Explanation": I suggest you buy a third-class audio-visual product. Maybe it will look better and feel happier!

Chong Guan da Chuang anti-season promotion super cute gloves

[Details] Now, I really don't know what to say ... I'm really angry ... but ... Oh, forget it, but I won't come to you again. Although it started with me and was finally solved, I still don't know how to say it. This really caused me a lot of trouble. And I'm a little angry that you always don't contact me. When I ask you, you always tell me. I hope you don't do this to others in the future. Forget it, we don't have a chance.

[Explanation] To be clear, isn't it just a pair of gloves? Sounds like a breakup. Yes, who is your fate?

Koala toy tree bag hug bear

[Details] The name on the mailing list is wrong.

[Explanation] Oh, my God, it's also a bad review. I'll just write it a few times. Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua.

China lady Tang suit discount special price

[Details] After so long, you still ignore me, so I have to give you a bad review! ! !

[Explanation] Well, I was ill in hospital and just got back from the hospital. Looks like I'm going to be hospitalized again.

Wild hazelnut

[Details] The hazelnut shell is very hard. After eating this catty, my teeth are almost falling out. In order to increase the weight and charge more postage, I also stuffed a piece of broken iron into the box.

[Explanation] If you look at the iron carefully, do you see a screw in the middle? If you look down, there is a crack in the middle, and you have to separate it along this crack-this broken iron is a pliers for clamping hazelnut shells for you!

Product name: Inner Mongolia specialty Inner Mongolia air-dried beef jerky Jin /35 yuan

[Details] Description is far from commodity.

[Explanation] Don't be kind!

Product name: Yida chewing gum

[Details] I asked for chewing gum and got a piece of white stuff, which was too sweet to eat.

[Explanation] Oh, my God, that's the white chocolate I gave you. Chewing gum is wrapped in the newspaper below. You're not going to throw it in the trash, are you? Go find it.

Item name: Maggie's cotton compressed paper film * unused * * * successfully traded.

[Details] Nothing.

[Explanation] Nothing is nothing! ! Nothing! ! There is no way to evaluate! ! What what person! ! Dizzy! ! !

Product name: Tesco kitchen tools set of 5 pieces

[Details] What is it? It's a little uncomfortable to use.

[Explanation] You are a nymphomaniac. You should pull a man in the street to despise you! !

Product name: Korea super cute chewing gum/chewing gum

Details: Boss, your XXX is really great! It's so cute, so does my friend!

[Explanation]: Sweat! Well, I've never seen you face to face, so how can I be with you? If the word "glue" can't be typed, please add the word "incense" in front, because I'm afraid others will misunderstand what I do!

Product name: * Earrings * Bird Earrings

Why don't you respond to the comments? Try to comment.

[Explanation] How did this happen? Hey, your computer can be upgraded: (very, very depressed)

Product name: crystal ball

[Details] Nice ball. Why don't you give me the bottom seat in the photo?

[Explanation] Wrong! That is my ashtray.

Product name: Qingzui buccal tablets

Details: I heard an advertisement saying-"Want to know the taste of kissing?" I was curious to try it, and it tasted more than sugar. Isn't it obvious?

"Explanation": Son, you are underage, so you should kiss your classmates. What does advertising have to do with me? Now you can taste unreasonable "bad reviews".

Product name: Nike casual shorts 40 yuan postage

Negative comments

"Details": There are serious quality problems. I only wore it for a week. I accidentally farted that day and my crotch burst!

"explanation": who told you to put it down accidentally! Moreover, it is too cheap to compare with the genuine product, and the freight is 40 (fact). What do you want me to say？

Product name: South Korea's latest fashion body shaping underwear

"Details": It's totally different from what you introduced. I'm so old, and my husband says I'm out of proportion!

Commentary: Women should be a little independent, isn't it good to be bigger? Don't let men master it at once!

Product name: romantic wooden assembled model full house

Mediocre comments

"Details": The original model is very beautiful. Why does it make me unlucky to send a crow toy? What bad luck

Explanation: I have no sense of humor at all. I thought of the so-called "love me, love my dog", but I didn't expect … what bad luck!

Product name: Jack Jones photo album push shirt lapel short sleeve T-shirt

favourable comment

"Details": To tell the truth, the clothes are average, not as good as the photos! Originally, I clicked on the evaluation, but a box will pop up saying, "If there is a subjective evaluation such as' general product', it will be treated as a malicious evaluation. Are you sure you want to give each other a mid-evaluation? " I was so nervous that I struggled and ordered the cancellation.

"explanation": this should be explained so clearly. If you haven't done anything wrong, why are you so depressed? Let me and Taobao be like Huang Shiren to Yang Bailao!

Product name: French exquisite rose

Negative comments

Details: You lied to me, saying that five flowers mean "sincere appreciation", but I like that girl and call me "half-hearted"!

Explanation: Who told you to add three red ones and two white ones? Saying "I love you" and "alone" is romantic! Just like Zhang Ailing's Red Rose and White Rose. Can you not be half-hearted?

The following is the dialogue between the buyer and the seller. .

Products: selling mobile phones.

Buyer: Boss, do you have any chocolate?

Seller: Yes, Dove and Di Chin.

Buyer: I mean the mobile phone! ! !

Seller: Oh, I didn't know I was selling mobile phones until you reminded me.

The buyer took a fancy to the seller. .

Buyer: Is the photo yours? How handsome!

Seller: Sorry, don't bargain!

Buyer: ........

Products: selling mobile phones

Buyer: Boss, please tell me how to distinguish the original battery from the assembled battery seller: If the battery is thrown into the fire, the original factory will explode louder.

Buyer: Haha

Check the owner's bad reviews

Buyer: Boss, why are there so many bad reviews?

Seller: Don't you think China is a country with many unjust, false and wrongful cases? Where there is injustice, there is resistance, and where there is resistance, there is sacrifice.

Products: selling mobile phones

Buyer: With such an expensive mobile phone, I might as well buy a laptop.

Seller: That's right. I imagine it must be cool for you to stand in a crowd and open your notebook and stick it to your ear to answer the phone.

Products: selling mobile phones

Buyer: Hello?

Seller: Sorry, I only sell mobile phones!

Products: selling mobile phones

Buyer: Boss, is the call quality of this mobile phone good? Seller: Samsung's are generally very good.

Buyer: None of the mobile phones I bought works, and I can't hear what others are saying clearly.

Seller: Oh

Buyer: What do you recommend me to buy?

Seller: hearing AIDS

About express delivery. . . .

Buyer: Boss, we can't receive express delivery here. Is there any way to deliver it faster?

Seller: You rented a plane and put it down.

Product: mobile phone

Buyer: Boss, I want to buy a mobile phone for my girlfriend. Please recommend it.

Seller: You just need to find a suitable one.

Buyer: But her requirements are quite high.

Seller: Then listen to her. Men should be cruel to women.

Buyer: Hehe. . . . . . .

Product: ring

Comments: basically the same, but I hope the seller will be more enthusiastic in the future.

Explanation: Are you sick? Give me a comment? What I sent you is not good or something? What do you mean basically the same? Am I not enthusiastic enough? No matter how enthusiastic, it will explode and faint. I took the real thing. Is it deformed or something in your hand? I won't sell you. You give me my things back, and I'll give you your money back. I am so angry!

Comment: The mobile phone cannot reply.

Explanation: It's my fault that your mobile phone can't reply.

The evaluation of express delivery is a bit bad.

Note: If you need high-quality service, I hope you can pay the full postage. You gave me money for ordinary mail, but you asked me to send it to you. I can only use the courier company. Your girlfriend lives in the mountains and can't even send EMS from the post office. After that, you should directly hire a plane to airdrop it to your girlfriend.

Negative comments

Buyer: No explanation.

Note: the buyer's right knuckles are inconvenient, so the praise is poor. I wish you a speedy recovery.

Product name: Osman-—30g pearl moisturizing eye cream

Bad review [details] How to return the goods?

[Explanation] Sorry, I didn't pay for it after I took it, and I didn't deliver it. What if I return it?

Classic dialogue between sellers and buyers

Buyer: I'm sorry, JJ, but I have to wait until now to pay, which has delayed your laying!

Seller: it doesn't matter ~ ~ lay eggs, I don't have that function.

Buyer: Haha, sorry, the wrong number is the order!

Seller: Oh, I said I don't seem to have that function!

I should ask the boss if there is a physical store.

MM A: Boss, do you have a corpse shop? Cao: Sorry, Taobao doesn't allow people to sell that.

Buyer MM: Is the owner there?

Seller: Yes, dear! ~

Buyer MM: Can you recommend some skin care products suitable for me?

Seller: OK, what skin is MM?

Buyer MM: I'm a mixed worker (pinyin input method, haha)

Seller: Khan

Buyer: Will you remarry soon? I can't wait.

Seller mm: = =

Buyer: Come on, I'll pay if you remarry.

Seller MM: Stop dreaming! Ask my husband first.

Buyer: What about sexual ability?

Seller:? Does it matter?

Buyer: Sorry, there is another word. How is the product performance?

Seller: I ... inn ...

Buyer: I want to buy you to give birth to a son for me.

Seller: Ah, what?

Buyer: Oh, I don't know. I want to buy your jade brand-Buddha, bless me to have a son.

Seller: Hehe. Sweating. . .

Buyer: Shopkeeper, do you have any other shoes?

Seller: Yes, I'll give you the address of the album. You can go there and have a look. Many have never been on the shelves before. ……

Buyer: The owner's shoes are very beautiful. Why is there a baby in the product picture?

Seller: Oh, that's my son, not for sale!

Evaluation [details] * * * is really problematic! Shopping on Taobao, I'm afraid the color is different. So when I bought the belt, I specifically asked if it was white and said yes, but it was silver. Originally * * * polite explanation, such a small matter also calculate! However, * * *' s unfriendly and opportunistic answer is very annoying!

Explanation:

Don't say a word about kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss. Kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss. Kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss. Are you rich now? parents

Hemorrhoids suppository

Evaluation: {Bad review} My hemorrhoids had already healed when the goods arrived!

Description: What a good curative effect. I heard that you bought my medicine and hemorrhoids were scared out.

Rainshen_fly: You also sell Galaxy Battleship, Black Hole Bob! ! ! What? Are there mercenaries in the starfleet?

Shopkeeper: We sell things used on the earth. . . . . . . . . .

Boddah7 19: Hello, I want to buy one! Are you in charge of training? (I have the basic knowledge of driving a motorcycle) If the training package has room and board? Also, if the plane breaks down, will you be responsible? thank you

Shopkeeper: There is an extra charge for training and maintenance, but your foundation is a little poor and you can't guarantee to learn. . . . . .

Ding **6: Does the boss sell Optimus Prime Transformers?

Authentic ~ ~ ~

Shopkeeper: There are saints. Do you want it?

Smelly **p: Is the color optional?

Shopkeeper: Well, there is only one color at present, but you can buy it yourself and spray it with the color you like. The cost is not very high.

I want to reserve a nuclear bomb. If you have it, just throw it into Shen's toilet, and I'll pay double the money directly.

Shopkeeper: Nuclear bombs are currently out of stock. You can buy a poplar tree first, and I'll tell you later when you have a nuclear bomb. I want to blow up XX, too . . . . . . .

Baobao 200709 19: Can you fly when burning 93# gasoline?

Shopkeeper: Yeah. . . There is no related scientific experiment, but you can buy one to try.

City878 198: I bought it. In any case, Tao Ge paid the price. Don't let Bush know when I can deliver the money. It's BB's turn to give it to little y again.

Shopkeeper: It must be a cash transaction, and it will arrive 3 months after the transaction is successful.

City878 198: Does this price come with a aiming helmet? I want to buy some AMI- 120C. Can you provide it?

Shopkeeper: We don't make ornaments. AMI- 120C is out of stock.

S**z: Boss, I don't like American products. Do you have a Russian Su -47 gold sculpture?

Shopkeeper: If you want, I'll ask Pujin later to see if he is willing to sell.

A**g: Did you forget to ask about buying an aircraft carrier to deliver the plane?

Shopkeeper: There is no aircraft carrier. . . . . .

God * * g: Hello, shopkeeper! I am a pacifist. In order to maintain the peace of our village, I want to buy an M 1A2 main station tank. Can you send it by express parcel for me? Besides, based on my starting point, can you give me a discount? :)

Shopkeeper: This price does not include freight. You can come to our company to discuss it in detail if necessary.

Tao Li 2008: Is there a Terminator T3000? . . . Or T2000 will do. .

Shopkeeper: Not at present. You can pay a deposit of 50 million if necessary. We will help you contact Hollywood to order one.

Xbox_god: Do you have a weapon? How to deliver?

Shopkeeper: Weapons are counted separately. At present, there are 12 Patriot 3 missiles and 5 Tomahawk cruise missiles. If necessary, please come to our company to discuss.

**p: LZ is so funny ~ ~ You really have to be careful. This joke can't be played ~ be careful that domestic agents or the FBI are looking for you ~

Shopkeeper: Well, we are doing business seriously, really.

Product name: Japanese underwear set

Comments [Details] Things are really average! The matching underwear didn't match at all according to my requirements ~!

Description: Brother, I have already told you that we don't have the underwear you want, as if you haven't worn it. I tried to give you something more transparent, and you agreed. Why?

Product name: double preserved fish

Praise [details] It's really delicious. It's so exciting that I can't help praising him! No, I can't show it. But this feeling is really like walking on clouds, and the touching smell really makes me feel heartbroken! The climax is repeated.

Product: 5 12M Kingston memory stick

Comments: {Bad comments} Things can be used, but what else can you say besides "Oh"?

Explanation: Hmm.

Comment: I am satisfied with everything, but the owner is a little more handsome than my husband, and I am not happy.

Explanation: What animal scares women?

Comment: Why is the digital camera you sent so small? Where can I put my film?

Explanation: Can I replace it for you free of charge?

If you get the diamond grade, you won't get extra points.

Explanation: I was dizzy, so I also commented. . . .

Praise good buyers

Commentary: Haha, how can you praise yourself? The buyer is so cute.