Li Meijin: Do children talk back, whether it's hitting or swearing? Sending you three sentences is of great help to children and parents.

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Research shows that 90% families have a headache

Li Meijin: Do children talk back, whether it's hitting or swearing? Sending you three sentences is of great help to children and parents.

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Research shows that 90% families have a headache for a kind of child-rearing problem, which will last from preschool to adulthood. What is the problem that bothers parents so much? The answer is-children talk back, and parents often joke: "You say one sentence and ten sentences are waiting for you."

Tug of war begins with children saying no and talking back. As if they were born with magic, their children are often the ones who can annoy their parents the most. Although talking back is the only way for children to grow up, parents seem to have no good way to stop their children from talking back. It doesn't make sense. It's not good to fight or scold. Sometimes the stricter the discipline, the worse the effect.

Professor Li Meijin gave you three sentences to make Eva stop talking back.

1. "I know you are angry, but it's wrong for you to talk like this, so I'll give you some time to calm down and we'll talk later."

To see and understand the child's emotions, to solve the problem, we must first calm the child's emotions and calm him down. When the mood comes up, no one cooperates. Children are eager to be seen, and blindly emphasizing their parents' own feelings will only make children want to resist more and more.

2. "I hope you can directly express your unhappiness when you are unhappy, instead of scolding others and blaming others for saying that I hate you."

Out of a defensive mentality, people tend to blame others for their unhappiness. Children say they hate their parents, but of course their parents are uncomfortable. After a while, one person is unhappy and the whole family is unhappy. Parents should teach their children how to express their emotions correctly. By telling others about their emotions, let others know themselves better and help themselves.

3. "If we are ready to go out, but the children don't leave, parents can say: We are going out soon, which color shoes do you want to wear?"

This sentence is to let children realize their parents' respect for themselves. Everyone needs the respect of others. Even if a child is young, he should not take it for granted that he should listen to his parents and not have his own opinions. In some small matters that children can decide, we might as well listen to their opinions and give them some initiative. Doing this for a long time is also conducive to cultivating children's autonomy and independence.

In addition to talking back, parents are also concerned about how to correct their children's bad behavior. Just like talking back, they don't listen to reason. It may take some time to beat and scold, but they will soon return to their old habits.

If children want to have good behaviors and get rid of bad behaviors, the most important thing is that parents should "set a good example" for their children. Leading by example is not just talk, it needs to be reflected everywhere in life.

Guan Lingling is a second-born mother. Dabao has been in high school and his academic performance has been poor. In order to prevent Bauer from repeating the same mistakes, Guan Lingling has been paying close attention to Bauer since elementary school. Go to school every day and enroll in many cram schools on weekends. While Bauer was doing his homework, his parents took turns watching. But even so, children's grades have not improved, but have a downward trend.

Guan Lingling often cries with friends in the WeChat group. "I always accompany the children when they do their homework, but he just touches this and plays with that. His mind is not on study. Nothing can be said. Sometimes he talks back and says you don't study. Why should I study? I'm really anxious! "

Until a family reunion, a friend who was doing education and training pointed out Guan Lingling's problem. Although Lingling has been watching Bauer do her homework, she always brushes her mobile phone, giggles when she is excited and sends messages to her friends from time to time. In her spare time, Lingling's husband plays games at home, while Lingling has been talking about TV porridge and watching variety shows.

Although children don't know much truth, they are very clever in understanding behavior. Parents usually love to brush their mobile phones and play games, so it is difficult to concentrate, and children will naturally play with them.

Many successful people often come from excellent families, because parents, as role models, have a subtle influence on their children's behavior patterns.

Qian Sanqiang, the father of two bombs, was born in a scholarly family in Zhejiang. Before he was 4 years old, he read and endorsed at his grandfather's desk. His father, Qian, was a famous thinker, writer and advocate of the New Culture Movement in modern China. Qian Sanqiang watched his father contribute his thoughts to the Chinese nation since childhood, so when the nation was in danger, he resolutely chose to return to China to serve the country, and said, "Science has no national boundaries, but scientists have the motherland."

Whether children talk back or bad habits can't be changed, parents should find reasons. Is it because I didn't notice the children's emotions, or because I didn't give them a little space, and more importantly, do I expect the good habits of my children to exist in myself? Remember, your behavior will greatly affect your children. If your child is not good, it is difficult for parents to pass the buck.

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