How to communicate with people 15 skills and 57 communication skills will be used for a lifetime.

"Good words are warm in three winters, and bad words hurt people in June."

In daily communication, you may often encounter the following problems:

Difficult topics can't be said, and I don't know how to start. ...

I regret saying something embarrassing and stupid, but I can't blend in with the crowd when I open my mouth. ...

Thinking is always disturbed, and I can't say what I want to say clearly. ...

Questions are always ignored, and the other party is either unwilling or too lazy to answer, which is always irrelevant. ...

Speaking is an art as well as a science. People who can talk have fewer stumbling blocks on their way to success, while those who can't talk have built walls for themselves.

I read the book 1 minute communication class the other day, and it was full of dry goods. I extracted 57 communication suggestions from basic communication skills, advanced conversation skills, changing attitudes and actions in crisis communication, listening, asking questions, and different communication methods in different scenarios. I hope I can help you. I suggest collecting it!

1. Eight basic communication skills 1. When others are talking, you might as well "raise your mouth".

A smile is a hint of "I accept your opinion" and "I have no hostility towards you". When listening to others, the most important thing is to "smile". Raise your mouth and listen, and you can show a natural smile.

2. Smile "more" at each other's words

Smile more at the words of the person you are talking to. Don't just grin. Laugh properly and make a good impression.

3. Consciously speak according to the ratio of "the other 7: oneself 3"

Being good at listening, but not showing yourself too much is also the key. If you think "I say less", it means just right.

4. Remember "the other person's name" and say his name in the dialogue.

Remembering each other's names and addressing each other in conversations can help you make a good impression on others. Remember people's names with the names of friends or artists.

5. Add "words of praise" and "words of concern" to the dialogue.

Inserting "words of praise" and "words of concern" into the conversation can leave a good impression on the other party.

6. Develop the habit of "accepting each other's speech"

Develop the habit of "accepting each other's words before speaking". As long as you listen to the other person before you speak, you can leave a completely different impression on the other person.

7. Have a "good impression" on the other party's words.

Everyone wants others to "have feelings for themselves". When listening to others, let them feel that you "feel the same way".

8. Talk quietly about "the content of the last conversation"

Quietly talking about "the content of the last conversation" can make the other party realize that "he cares about me very much" and greatly enhance the other party's goodwill towards you.

7 skills of a dialogue expert 1. Adjust "intonation and speaking speed" according to the content.

When you want to enliven the conversation, you might as well respond with "high intonation and fast speech", while when you want to calm the other person, you can use "low intonation and slow speech".

2. You can "nod silently" when you don't know what to do.

"Nodding silently" is a panacea to solve the problem of attachment. Don't talk, just nod seriously.

3. Wait for "1 sec" before echoing.

Most people echo the rhythm too fast. Pause "1 sec" and then echo it to make the conversation more stable.

Repeat what the other party said.

Retelling the other person's words in another way will make the other person feel that he is really listening to me.

5. Get along with each other with sincere feelings.

In addition to paying attention to the "language" itself, we should also pour "feelings" to capture each other's hearts in an instant.

6. Don't start with negative words like "but" and "wrong"

Try not to deny each other's words. If you have any objection, you may wish to respond to the other party's "this is the case" first, indicating that you understand the other party's ideas.

7. Record the dialogue and listen.

If you want to be good at communication, the first step is to know your speaking habits. Many people tend to repeat the same echo. You might as well record it and listen to it.

3. 12 communication skills turn around 1 crisis. The other person is too verbose, what should you do?

In the face of long-winded people, seize each other's "breathing moment" and cut off the conversation "loudly, quickly and loudly".

2. What should you do if the other person talks to himself?

In the face of people who have been talking to themselves, you can use "echo" to control the direction of the conversation. Keep "silent" when the other person is talking, and only echo the other person when you want to interrupt.

What should you do if the other person is bragging?

In the face of complacent people, the treatment is simple. Praise each other for being "awesome" and "really you".

4. What should you do if the other person is difficult to understand?

If the other person's words are difficult to understand, and the content of the conversation is beyond your understanding, then turn this conversation into a learning opportunity with a consulting attitude.

5. What should I do if I am bored?

Even if the other person's words are boring, if you regard the other person as a "teacher in life", you will find it unexpected.

6. The other person always "pulls his face". What should you do?

In the face of people who are difficult to please and in a bad mood, praise is the basic practice. Show an attitude of "mutual understanding" and relieve his vigilance.

7. What should you do if the other person is angry?

In the face of angry people, let the other person vent their anger first, and then express sympathy for the other person's anger. Communicate "slowly and quietly" with the other person, and the other person will calm down soon.

8. What should you do if the other person is silent?

Silent people also have hobbies and areas of expertise. Ask questions according to what the other person is good at, and activate the dialogue.

9. What should you do with people who "always complain or speak ill of others"?

Skillfully avoid those who always complain or speak ill of them. Lead the topic to yourself and control the dialogue with tone and energy.

10. What should you do?

Cleverly turn a blind eye to pornographic jokes and sexual harassment. Keep smiling, look away and move on to the next topic.

1 1. The other party is an elder. What should you do?

What the elders say will often benefit us in the future. Try to listen patiently first and see if it can enlighten your life.

12. The other party is so annoying. What should you do?

In the face of annoying people, don't force yourself to cooperate with each other to shorten the speaking time as much as possible, and don't talk to him alone.

Four. Seven annoying listening methods 1. Don't listen to the other side.

A: "When I was on a business trip last week, I went to my client's company by tram, but the tram stopped halfway. It's really ... "

B: "Ah, then you arrived later than the appointed time."

A: "... well, it's about 10 minutes late. The key is ... "

B: "There's nothing I can do about it. The other party is not angry, is it? I have had the same experience several times, but I have shown the subway late proof. "

It's easy to misunderstand if you don't listen to each other completely. When the boss gives instructions, some subordinates think they only understand half, and the result is probably wrong.

2. Listen to what you want to hear.

A: "I recently started to control carbohydrate intake and lose weight. I lost 3 kilograms in two weeks. "

B: "That way. I can't last a day. If you don't eat rice, it feels like you didn't eat it. "

A: "... but once you get used to it, it's nothing." "

B: "But eating out is more troublesome."

A: "... this is an unexpected situation. You can still choose a meal from the convenience store. But it's a little troublesome in the fixed bag shop. "

B: "Yes, it's still trouble. I can't do it. "

A wants to say "control carbohydrate intake and lose weight successfully and continuously", but B is skeptical about the method of controlling carbohydrate.

This is only B's personal opinion in itself, and there is nothing wrong with it. It's just that B puts too much emphasis on his own opinion and doesn't show a gesture of "narrowing the distance" with A. That is to say, B just listens to what A wants to hear.

No matter what the other person wants to talk about, make a digression answer.

A: "I went to Osaka a few days ago."

B: "Osaka? What should I do? "

A: "A friend is a dog photographer. She held a solo photo exhibition in Osaka. I went to see the exhibition. "

B: "Hey, you like dogs!"

A: "... well, I like dogs, and this personal photography exhibition ..."

B: "I like dogs, too. What kind of dog do you like? "

A said "go to the dog photography exhibition", but B said "like dogs".

At first glance, what B said contains a response to A, but A will still feel depressed.

No matter what you talk about, it will lead to "your own business"

A: "I went to an Okinawa restaurant in Shinjuku yesterday, and the food there was very delicious."

B: "Okinawa cuisine? As far as I know, the best shop in Shibuya is called "A". The chef's hometown is in Ishigaki Island, and the wine in the store is very dreamy ... "

A: "Oh, the people in the health clinic said that my blood pressure was high the other day, and suggested that I see a doctor ..."

B: "Ah, my blood pressure was high for a while. The doctor advised me to take medicine, but I thought,' Try it yourself first' and ran back. My method is ... "

A obviously wants to continue the dialogue, but B leads the topic to himself halfway, and replaces the dialogue with "your own business".

Create an "unpleasant echo"

In the dialogue, the way of echo directly affects the success or failure of communication.

6. Inappropriate "attitudes and actions"

If the listener doesn't smile and behaves badly in communication, it will reduce the goodwill of the other party. This is even more important than "how to answer" and "how to respond".

7. Ask "inappropriate questions"

By asking questions, skillfully guide each other to speak. On the contrary, if you ask inappropriate questions, you will make the other person lose the will to answer.

Five. Eight is "good question" 1. Keep your "speed × tone" consistent with the other person.

Let the "speed × tone" of your own questions be consistent with the other party. When asking questions, you should also use "fast × loud" or "slow × low" on different occasions.

2. Good questions don't come out in an instant.

If you want to ask "good questions", preparation in advance is the key. Before meeting, you can look at each other's social network information to master the conversation.

3. Ask specific questions and prepare for "in-depth questions"

"Specific questions" is the secret of asking the strongest questions. Please prepare "in-depth questions" for in-depth conversation.

4. Even if you know, you can "pretend not to understand"

It's important to investigate each other's situation in advance, but think carefully when showing off the survey results. Even if you know some information, you can "pretend not to know". In this way, "more new information" can be asked.

5. Don't stick to preparation, grasp the present.

We need to prepare in advance, but the information we get may be out of date. Don't stick to what you got in advance, but pay attention to what "now" is.

6. In the face of difficult problems, we can start with the general situation or our own experience.

If there are "unspeakable problems", you can start with the general situation first. "From my own experience", the other party is more likely to answer.

7. Before asking "the question you really want to ask", launch an offensive through "detour questions"

If you have a question that you really want to ask, you might as well start with an easy question in a roundabout way instead of asking it directly.

8. Ask questions that cannot be answered simply by "yes" and "no"

If you want to liven up the conversation, don't ask questions that the other person can answer with "yes" or "no".

6. Your attitude and actions in communication 1. When listening to others, your body should face each other and don't shake your upper body. You can keep your body slightly forward and put your hands where the other person can see you.

2. Crossing your legs or holding your arms with both hands will give people a sense of "rejection" and avoid these actions. When you really want to cross your legs, let your body face each other.

Playing with hair, shaking and using fingers can only play a negative role in our communication. People who have this habit should pay attention to correcting it.

When listening to others, you don't need to make eye contact with them. I suggest you focus on their facial positions other than eyes, such as eyebrows, eyebrows, eyes, forehead and nose.

Sitting in a fan is an ideal choice for meetings or private chats. If you can't, you can choose to sit side by side and avoid face to face.

6. At the dinner table, don't eat when the other person is talking. Listen carefully. When the other person starts to eat, move chopsticks to keep the movements "synchronized".

7. It is not appropriate to listen to people while watching the mobile phone. Even if there is no malice, it will give people the impression that they are "indifferent" and "tired of talking".

7. Customize your own communication methods according to different scenarios and environments. 1. negotiation strategy.

At the beginning of a business meeting, we should first aim at establishing a good relationship and foundation, and let the other party talk more. What they say accounts for 20% to 30% of the whole conversation.

2. The strategy of the meeting

In the meeting, cut into the conversation with "a loud and concise sentence" and then state "your own opinion"

3. Negotiation strategy

When the other party asks you to talk about your troubles, we should first let the opposite party talk to us. It is more important to keep a dialogue with the other party than to give advice.

4. Call strategy

When making a phone call, you should consciously raise your mouth and speak in a low voice, with more echoes than usual.

5. Strategies at the dinner table

At cocktail parties, social gatherings and blind dates, talking with people who are not good at words can enliven the overall atmosphere and win the favor of others.

6. The strategy of hosting a banquet

At the reception, keep talking with other important people and make eye contact with others.

7. Job hunting and interview strategies

When interviewing, speak loudly, clearly and fluently, and prepare questions in advance.

8. Facing different strategies of superiors and subordinates.

When facing subordinates, speaking in a low voice and speaking slowly can leave a cordial impression, while when facing superiors, speaking in a low voice and speaking quickly can leave an intellectual and capable impression.