What will you do if your children dislike you when you grow old?

When I was a child, I thought that as people age, their hair turns gray, their face gets wrinkled, and their voice becomes hoarse, and that’s it. Moreover, when you get old, you don’t have to work. You can drink tea, chat, and walk with birds every day. You don’t have to support your family. Life is very comfortable. I wonder why people are afraid of growing old?

When I grew up, it wasn’t until Bensi’s age that I realized the true meaning of aging and the cruel reality of aging. "Only the new ones laugh, but the old ones cry." The entrance to the kindergarten is crowded with parents who are waiting eagerly. Nursing homes have always been a place that people stay away from.

When you get old, your hair turns gray, and other body functions also age drastically, this is not the main reason why you are eliminated by society. The fundamental reason is that your thoughts, your consciousness and even your cognition are old. And the old smell that you once hated has permeated your whole body without you realizing it.

Will I be sure that I will not be disliked by my children?

When you are old, you must live with your children. It's like a vibrant tree with a dead branch on it. Even though it's not a big deal, it's an eyesore! Isn’t it a common psychology among people to like the new and dislike the old?

Be self-aware. The result of relying on your old age and neglecting your old age is just to increase the unpleasant chips. Some people like moral kidnapping and believe that a society should respect the elderly as a manifestation of its civilization, and the country and society are also vigorously promoting this. As everyone knows, the more the so-called fine traditions need to be promoted, the more they are criticized.

If you want to live a dignified and decent life in old age, you must prepare for a rainy day when you are young, and strive for and plan for it far-sightedly.

Not long ago, there was a pension version on the Internet. It was about a retired teacher in the countryside who could not take care of himself in his old age. But the good thing is that the old teacher has a pension of more than 8,000 yuan a month. The two daughters-in-law take care of each other in turn, and whoever's turn it is will receive the pension for that month.

The old man said to his daughters-in-law, as long as you take good care of me, it will be more effective than feeding pigs. This was considered a joke at the time, but the words were crude but not crude! Life in today's society is very stressful, and many people have to work hard as a family to have a place in society. It would be very helpless if the main force of the family economy is tied down by the elderly. And this kind of thing is common in today's society.

While I still have the ability, I will definitely leave a place for myself. Even if there are three tile-roofed houses, it is divided into two parts of Susukino. If I am old and can still take care of myself and my mind is still clear, I will definitely not hinder my children. Returning to my hometown, I spent the sunny days repairing the roof, enclosing the yard, and setting up a kang in the tiled house.

Divide the Sussex field into half for growing flowers and the other for growing vegetables, raise a pastoral dog to guard the house, feed a few chickens to lay eggs, pick chrysanthemums under the eastern fence, and leisurely see Nanshan Mountain. Even with a meager pension, you can still make ends meet. Why bother getting involved in your children’s lives and adding to their worries!

I was really old and unable to take care of myself, so I decided to live in a nursing home while I was still awake. If your own pension is not enough to pay the fees, the remaining amount can be made up by your children. In those few days, under the warm sunshine of the nursing home on a sunny day, a long life is enough for you to remember. One weekend last winter, I got up in the morning to buy breakfast. When I walked to the west gate of the community, I suddenly saw a group of people crowded around the door. The red and blue lights of 110 and 120 flashed silently in the cold wind. I didn't want to look at the bastard in the excitement, so I joined in. I stood outside the crowd and vaguely saw a white sheet covering the ground not far away. A human figure protruded from the middle of the sheet, and blood and yellow-white solid objects oozed around it.

I was startled, turned around and ran away. I am a naturally soft-hearted person, and I don’t want to see others suffer, let alone others having accidents, so I don’t want to see such excitement for a second.

But the voices from the crowd behind me still reached my ears.

"I heard it was the old lady from Building 8? Why did she jump off the building?!"

"She was from Building 8! Oh my, it was so miserable, my brains were smashed out. ! ”

“Nonsense, people jumped from the 33rd floor and fell out of shape, so miserable...”

The crowd uttered exclamations and chirps from time to time. It was buzzing like a flock of sparrows, and there were more sparrows surrounding it in the distance, as if the place was full of food.

I took a deep breath of air, walked quickly, and finally couldn't help but run.

I rushed home in one breath and slumped on the sofa for a long time without recovering. At that moment, I felt that my face was probably pale and bloodless. Aunt Zhou

The community is so big, and the news of someone jumping off the building spread quickly.

I don’t want to ask about this matter, but in the square, in the vegetable market, and in the small supermarket at the entrance of the community, everyone is talking about this matter. After all, a big living person jumped from the building, and he was from this community. What topic could be more exciting and fun than this!

The person who jumped off the building was named Zhou. She was in her fifties and came from the countryside. She had been babysitting her son here. Everyone called her Aunt Zhou.

Aunt Zhou is a very ordinary rural woman. She is slightly hunchbacked, thin, not good at words, and likes to smile first when meeting people.

There are many aunts like this in the community, and they all come to take care of their children. Nowadays, young people are busy going to work, and the important task of raising the next generation often has to be left to grandparents or grandparents.

Aunt Zhou has a little grandson, whom she regards as the apple of her eye, and is very attentive to taking care of the child.

This aroused strong dissatisfaction from her daughter-in-law. She felt that the old man was too doting on his children. Many young people today pursue the educational philosophy of "wolf parents and tiger mothers". It seems that children as young as two or three years old must You have to know how to dress and eat by yourself.

For this reason, the daughter-in-law often had conflicts with Aunt Zhou. Later, she even yelled at the old man in the community square.

Aunt Zhou is a hard-working person. Her husband passed away the year before last. She has no one to rely on and no income, so she can only go to her son. Therefore, when faced with such yelling, she usually does not dare to talk back.

Her son’s life was not easy either. He had not even bought a house when he was old. Later, Aunt Zhou stomped her feet and became cruel, so she sold the house in her hometown and scraped together some more. , used his life savings to buy a house for his son.

Aunt Zhou naively thought that since she had given everything so devoutly, her son and daughter-in-law would definitely treat her well, and they would not despise her no matter how bad she was. Otherwise, would they still be considered human beings?

What's more, she is very good to her little grandson. A Night on the Rooftop

Later, the police called out surveillance from the property and discovered that Aunt Zhou had stayed on the rooftop all night when she jumped from the building.

That night, she may have wanted to convince herself, or she may have been reluctant to part with her little grandson. After all, if she left, who would take care of the child?

But in the end, for some unknown reason, she took the last step.

The night before she jumped off the building, Aunt Zhou had a fierce quarrel with her daughter-in-law in the square. To be precise, she was scolded by her daughter-in-law in front of everyone.

The reason is simply that Aunt Zhou is too concerned about taking care of the child. She has to follow her grandson wherever he goes. Her daughter-in-law told her to leave it alone, saying that the child must be left alone.

Aunt Zhou said puzzledly, "He is only three years old. There are so many people and cars on the road. What should I do if he falls and gets bumped?"

"What can't a three-year-old do? Our Taotao (child's name) is so delicate, and it's all because of you!" The daughter-in-law's voice was high and sharp.

Guarding so many people, Aunt Zhou blushed and muttered something.

This was a hornet's nest. The daughter-in-law was very excited, baring her teeth and claws, shouting for Aunt Zhou to get out of her home, and told her to go back and forth wherever she came, so as not to harm her children again. .

Aunt Zhou lowered her head and was speechless. The house in her hometown was sold, where else could she go?

Moreover, she is a rural old man who has left the land that she has cultivated for generations and does not even have a penny of income. She has to ask her son and daughter-in-law for every penny she spends. Can endure in silence.

Originally, this matter could be over here, and Aunt Zhou continued to live an ignoble existence, taking one day at a time.

But things in the world are such a coincidence. The next day is the weekend. It was originally agreed that the family would go out for two days, but the daughter-in-law was angry and was determined not to take Aunt Zhou with her.

Aunt Zhou’s son was also cowardly and hateful. After hesitating for a long time, the family of three finally drove away, leaving Aunt Zhou alone at home.

The little grandson cried for grandma, but his mother slapped him into silence and dragged him into the elevator.

What’s even more tragic is that when Aunt Zhou’s son left, she didn’t leave her a penny!

That night, Aunt Zhou knocked on the neighbor's door and borrowed 20 yuan. She also smiled and said that her son had forgotten to give her the money and she had no money to eat. She would pay it back when her son came back.

The accumulation of these contradictions, these mistakes, these various grievances, these unresolved sorrows in life finally led Aunt Zhou to a dead end.

I hesitated on the rooftop all night, reluctant to give up, and finally jumped off the 33rd floor! When we get old

I have never believed in the saying that raising children to prevent old age is a good idea.

From Aunt Zhou’s case, we can see a cruel reality:

It turns out that when people grow old and live under the influence of others, they are so unwelcome.

Especially when you have no money, this kind of dislike will directly turn into disgust!

Even if you use your life savings to buy him a house, even if you feed and drink for them day and night, even if you spend all your efforts to take care of their children, they seem to take it for granted!

As long as you spend their money, you owe them!

Decades of deep family ties are no match for the reality of daily necessities.

The blood relationship we thought was unbreakable is vulnerable to the contradictions of life.

So, don’t have any illusions, don’t think about entrusting your old life to your children, we can’t afford to gamble.

From now on, we need to be prepared to fight a long battle in old age.

Aunt Zhou’s incident may be a special case, but conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and family discord are a normal feature of modern families.

In the process of urbanization, the collision, friction and integration between the elderly from native rural families and the new generation of young people from urban families will not always be easy, and most of them will be very difficult.

Therefore, we must prepare for a rainy day, be prepared for danger in times of peace, and make the following preparations for our happiness in old age.

1. You must have your own house.

At any time, you must have a place to stay, just in case you are kicked out of your home by your children and you have nowhere to go.

Living on the street again in your old age may not be a good experience.

2. You must have a coffin book and some pension.

If you are short-handed, you have to look at other people's money to spend other people's money, even if this person is one's closest relative.

You must save some pension money when you are young, preferably some pension, so that when you grow old, you will not have to ask your children for a penny.

In this world, having money in your pocket is always a person’s greatest confidence.

3. Take care of yourself.

Good health is a blessing for yourself and for your children.

It is said that there is no filial son in bed for a long time, so we must start to exercise well from now on, so that we will be less sick and less employed when we are old.

A healthy and wealthy old man is the one who is loved by others. A poor old man who is sick and needs help from others to walk will be disliked wherever he goes.

If you are really old enough to need help, as long as you have the ability, it is recommended to hire a caregiver or enter a nursing home.

Don’t cause trouble to your children easily. Everyone knows the reason.

4. If you can’t get along, don’t force it.

Young people and old people have different thinking and living habits. If you really can't live together, then don't force it.

A forced marriage is not sweet, nor is a family that is forcibly integrated into a happy family. Instead of being disgusted with each other, it is better for each to live its own life.

It’s okay if the children come to see you during the holidays and everyone enjoys themselves.

After all, no one in this world can stay with anyone forever.

We are all born alone, grow old alone, and die alone.

After all, loneliness is the normal state of life. Conclusion

Life is not easy, don’t make it difficult for yourself.

When you get old and the cat dislikes the dog, then you can live your own life and everyone wants to be quiet, which is actually quite good.

If you are healthy, have a little money, raise flowers and walk birds, life does not have to be boring.

It’s disgusting to have to lick an old face and get in front of your children. What are you trying to do?

My eldest uncle was kicked out of the house by his cousin. He lived in an underground garage until his death. He picked up leftovers from the trash cans and ate them every day. Sometimes kind people would bring meals to my eldest uncle. My mother once brought my eldest uncle to live with me. My eldest uncle would rather die than leave the community where my cousin lives. As time went by, no one wanted to take care of him anymore.

My eldest uncle is a cultural person and graduated from a college. At that time, the state still provided distribution, but the assigned jobs were good and bad. Grandpa and grandma are both farmers with no background, and they can't help my uncle at all. In order to achieve better development for the next generation, my uncle accepted the work assigned by the state.

My eldest uncle and I rarely see each other. When I was a child, my eldest uncle hardly went back to my grandparents’ house except for the Chinese New Year, and I didn’t have the chance to see him. Later, I went to college, which happened to be the city where my eldest uncle lived. During this period, I became familiar with my uncle!

In my memory, my uncle was very clean, but he didn’t like spending money randomly. This may have something to do with the environment in which he grew up. Every time I see my uncle, his clothes are very neat. Although the color of the clothes is a little faded, there is no dust at all.

When I graduated from college, my eldest uncle retired and my cousin reached the age of marriage. Soon, my cousin got married. In order to buy a wedding house, my eldest uncle had to give up his old house. Sell ??it. It has been seven or eight years since my eldest aunt passed away. My eldest uncle was very lonely living alone, so I discussed with my cousin to sell his house and buy a bigger house, leaving him a room.

Both the cousin and the cousin agreed, and the eldest uncle didn’t think much about anything else. After the house came down, the eldest uncle used all the remaining savings to renovate the cousin’s house, and the whole family was happy. , enviable!

Five years later, my uncle suffered a cerebral hemorrhage. Fortunately, he was rescued in time and his life was saved. However, his legs and feet were inconvenient. At first, my cousin actively helped my uncle, but as time went by, my cousin became annoyed. My cousin got annoyed too, and my uncle had a hard time dealing with the inconvenience in his legs and feet. Coupled with the changes in his cousin and his sister-in-law, my uncle became sulky every day and soon relapsed. When he was rescued, he could hardly walk and had to crawl.

This is a fatal blow to the uncle! He ate, drank, pooped and slept in bed. Sometimes there was no one at home and he wanted to deal with it by himself, but he always messed up. As soon as his cousin and sister-in-law came home, they complained about his uncle. As time went by, his cousin-in-law became angry and threatened to bombard him. When the eldest uncle left, the cousin kept silent and remained silent. Finally one morning, the cousin sister-in-law kicked the eldest uncle out of the house.

The eldest uncle also had a stubborn temper. He leaned half against the corner and didn't say a word. In the end, the cousin couldn't stand it anymore, so he gave the eldest uncle some food. The eldest uncle was really hungry and couldn't bear it. , I just lay down on the ground and ate it. It was a very sad scene, so my uncle lived in the corridor for three days. During this period, the neighbors complained because my uncle ate, drank, pooped and slept in the corridor, which shows how strong the smell was.

Seeing that they couldn’t find an answer to the cousin’s sister-in-law, the neighbors turned to the property management to complain. Later, after coordination, the uncle moved into the cousin’s house again, but this time he was kicked out by the cousin-in-law after not staying for half a month. come out.

After a period of time, my cousin-in-law threw my uncle directly into the garage. Only then did my relatives know about it. My mother had gone to pick up my uncle no less than ten times, but he would rather starve to death. In the garage and don't want to leave!

The first time I went to see my uncle, I was shocked. He stunk all over. I wanted to find someone to help him bathe. Before I even touched him, he screamed like crazy and lost his consciousness. There seemed to be something wrong. Later, I learned from the neighbors that my uncle might be suffering from mental illness.

The management also forced the uncle to leave the community, but I don’t know when the uncle climbed into the garage again? The real estate agent has also asked his cousin and sister-in-law many times to discuss what to do? My cousin and cousin-in-law coldly told the property management that it had nothing to do with them!

In the days to come, I will go to the garage at a fixed time to deliver food to my uncle, but he really doesn’t remember who I am?

That day, it was pouring with rain, and I felt uneasy. I didn’t know why, but I just wanted to see my uncle. After some struggle, I went. When I got to the community, I was completely soaked. .

I came to the garage eagerly, but I didn’t see my uncle. The place was clean, as if no one had lived there.

Later, I searched the entire garage, but I still didn’t see my uncle. I asked the property owner and found out that my uncle was dead!

Huo Yangyang said:

What should you do if you are rejected by your children when you are old?

This is very important. Some old people sell their houses for the sake of their children, and then live with their children. This idea should not be allowed.

There is no problem if parents live in their children's home for a year and a half, but as time goes by, problems will slowly surface, leading to an irreversible situation!

Selfishness is a science, and parents’ selfishness towards their children is a lifelong pursuit. In the eyes of most parents, parents can sacrifice everything for their children, including their lives, but children will not do this.

Parents must learn to be selfish in order to stabilize their relationship with their children. If they blindly give, they will not get a response from their children!

When parents get old, they put all their trust in their children. It is wrong for their children to be anxious whenever something happens. They should cultivate more interests and hobbies and divert their attention. This is not only right for It’s good for the kids and it’s good for the parents too!

When parents are old and have money, they don’t have to look at their children’s faces to act, and they won’t cause trouble to their children. If their children don’t have troubles, they won’t dislike their parents.