Psychology and life: Destiny is like a knife, let me teach you

Psychology and life: Destiny is like a knife, let me teach you

Psychological introduction: If fate treats you badly, we cannot change its trajectory. The only choice we can make is to live calmly and fearlessly when fate reveals its ferocious side. ? www.xinli001.com

My aunt opened a beauty salon in partnership with others when she was forty-one years old.

This is her Nth time starting a business. Since she and her uncle were both laid off when they were thirty, her aunt has sold clothes, opened a restaurant, promoted Mary Kay, and even traveled to Guizhou to open a foot-washing mall, but all ended up losing money. People say that profiteers are profiteers. How can a kind and honest person like my aunt make money in business? Even she herself did not forget to laugh at herself and said: "I am not born to do business." ?

After several years of struggling like this, the little savings my aunt originally had in her hands were all wasted, and she also owed a lot of debt. When the business was at its worst, I opened a clothing store in the county town with others. The store was opened in a new pedestrian street, with four storefronts in a row, and it looked very grand. At that time, my aunt borrowed a loan shark to prepare for a comeback. Who knows, people are not as good as God, the pedestrian street has never been popular, and the business has plummeted.

That summer I went to see her. She was the only one who guarded the huge clothing store. In order to save money, she didn’t even hire the girl who sells clothing. During lunch, my little cousin was there, and I suddenly understood. I said I was not hungry, so the three of us only ordered two lunch boxes. My aunt still maintained her enthusiastic nature, and kept putting shredded meat into my lunch box, and ate all herself. Green pepper.

The clothing store did not last long and was closed. My aunt accepted this reality calmly. In order to pay off the debt and have a son and a daughter, she went to work in a supermarket owned by a good sister. She said she was a salesperson, but in fact she did everything from cashiering to sales. When the supermarket goods arrive, my aunt helps to move them up and down and unload them. Sometimes the cook goes home, and she also helps cook meals for a large group of people. In fact, her job is just to sell goods, but her aunt said: "They are all very good sisters. If we can help each other, we can help each other. Why worry about so much?" ?The sister is a kind person, and she is still as affectionate as before when I meet her, but she is not given an extra salary. During the Chinese New Year, the red envelopes given to her and the employees are also treated equally, and they are all 100 yuan.

My aunt’s lumbar spondylosis was caused by that time. After all, some goods like wine and drinks are really not light. Before the age of thirty, she lived the life of a pampered young lady. How could she ever do anything like this? Heavy work. Every time after unloading, my waist would be sore for several days, and sometimes I couldn't even lift my arms.

In order to make it easier for my little cousin to go to school, my aunt has been living in the town. She didn't have a house in the town, so her former sisters lent her a house to live in out of kindness. I went to see where she lived. It was a house with two beds. She ate and slept in this house. She usually lived with her uncle and her little cousin, and her cousin would live here when she came back. It seemed a little sad to see it. There was a simple wardrobe in the corner of the room. When I opened it, I saw a wardrobe full of clothes and skirts, all neatly ironed and hung neatly. Look at my aunt again. She is wearing a little windbreaker and tight pants, and her modern look has not changed at all. She really looks like a pearl in a humble house. Only then did I realize that my sadness was too pretentious. I went to any mountain to sing which song. People looked at my aunt as being in despair, but she was actually living a good life.

Later, my aunt suffered from two serious illnesses and had her uterus and appendix removed. She looked a lot more haggard, and her face was far less radiant than when she was young, but she was still dressed the same as before. When I asked her about her illness, she lifted up her clothes and showed me the two marks on her lower abdomen. Scar, two pink scars protruded on her white belly, looking a little ferocious. I glanced at it and turned away, but she joked: "What kind of disease is going to happen again? There is no room for doctors." It's time to go under the knife. ?

Everyone thought that my aunt would keep working in the supermarket until she couldn’t work anymore.

Unexpectedly, many years later, she used the hard-earned money she had saved from working with her uncle over the years to join the business world again. Of course, this time she was more conservative. She was only a small shareholder of the beauty salon and a part-time store caretaker. She received a fixed salary every month, so she would not lose everything. The business of opening a beauty salon is really suitable for my aunt. She has loved beauty since she was a child. No matter what situation she is in, she always manages to look glamorous and respectable. People in the town once regarded her as a fashion icon and they all love her when they talk about her. I sigh that beauties have had a bad life since ancient times.

Is my aunt unlucky? Maybe so. Since the age of thirty, fate has never been kind to her. Sickness and poverty were like those two hideous scars, imprinted on her body, but her aunt neither complained about others nor belittled herself, but lived calmly and with a smile with those two scars.

Recently, my aunt added me to WeChat. She only went to junior high school and is no stranger to using WeChat. I often see her uploading some beauty and health content in the circle of friends, imagining what she does in her hometown. My aunt who serves customers with a gentle voice in the beauty salon often hears her words of advice in my mind: Meimei, this life is not long or short, don’t care so much, everything should be done. Be open-minded and don't worry about suffering some losses. ?

My aunt is 41 years old. She has aged a lot in the past two years, but she is still so beautiful in my heart. It's not just me who thinks so, I heard that she has a suitor now. My aunt's story often reminds me of Bai Liusu in "Love in a Fallen City": You think I'm finished, but I'm still early.

This is my aunt’s story.

I also want to tell the story of a friend.

Ashi is an authentic Guangdong native whom I met during the interview. If there is any place in China where girls still retain the gentle and elegant nature of ancient women, it may be Guangdong. Ashi is a genuine "beautiful girl", tall and beautiful. After I gave birth to Guagua, she came to visit me at home. After she left, my mother repeatedly questioned: "Are you sure she is really Cantonese?" In my mother's mind, Cantonese people tend to have an atavistic appearance, and she could never imagine that there were such beauties among the indigenous people of Guangdong.

When people are beautiful, it is easy to do evil by relying on their beauty, but Ashi has no such tendency at all. Not only is she not fierce, but she is also very gentle, and she always speaks in a gentle and soft voice. A touching smile really makes people feel like they are taking a breath of spring breeze. My husband has only been in contact with her two or three times, and every time he laments that he never thought there was such a gentle woman in the world. Of course, if the reference is me, this standard is a bit low, but Asch's gentleness is evident.

Ashi can be said to be the proud daughter of heaven. She was born in a well-to-do family, her father is a doctor. After graduating from university, she successfully became a civil servant and married a husband who loved her and had a bright future. Such a smooth life is enough to make most women jealous. I admit that even though Ashi is approachable, sometimes I still feel quite distant from her because our situations are so different.

When I interviewed Asch, it was at the peak of her life. That year was the Year of the Tiger, her birth year, and we happened to be looking for ten couples of grooms and brides born in the year of the Tiger to interview, and Ashi was one of these ten brides. At that time, she described her newlywed life to me, and her words often revealed the sweetness of being a first-time wife. I remember the photo she sent me, wearing a white wedding dress, walking barefoot on the beach, smiling brightly at her husband, with the blue sea behind her.

For a long time, the impression Ashi left on me is just like this photo, so beautiful that it cannot be stained by the fireworks of the world. I sometimes think that if an angel fell into the mortal world, maybe she would be like this.

It wasn’t until I became a mother that the two of us got closer than before. One time when we were talking about family during dinner, she suddenly asked me: “Do you know what’s going on in my family?” I shook my head in confusion. . Ash thought for a while and finally said: "My husband was in a car accident. It was a serious car accident." ?I was stunned.

The accident happened a year ago. Not long after Ash gave birth to a baby, the baby was only two months old. Her husband was involved in a car accident due to fatigue driving. The car was completely deformed and people were hit. It was broken into pieces, the bones flew all over the floor, and some of them were impossible to pick up.

My husband lived in the ICU for half a year. During this period, Ashi's mother was also sick and was diagnosed with cancer. His father had to go to work, so Ashi was busy at home and outside the house alone, with a baby in his arms that was waiting to be fed. . The most distressing thing is that her mother-in-law not only refused to help her, but also accused her of not taking good care of her son.

No matter how difficult the days are, they will get through it. By the time Asch told me, a year had passed. Her husband was still hospitalized and was recovering slowly. He could walk independently without crutches. My mother's illness has not worsened and she is able to take care of herself. The baby has grown up, can walk and talk, and can even pour water for his mother and love her.

?I don’t know how I survived. ?Speaking of this, Ashi's eye circles turned red, and she quickly returned her smile. She said that in the most difficult times, she even thought about giving up. In those days, her son was the only light in her life.

I looked at Ashi in front of me. She was still so beautiful and gentle. I could never imagine that such a big misfortune had ever happened to her. Since I met her, it seems that she has always cared about me. If I have any troubles at work, or if I want to find local people for interviews, I always ask her for help. In the past year, this situation has not changed. Every time I talk to her on QQ, she answers everything in detail.

In her space, I often see her posting photos of travels, parties, and meals with friends. In the photos, Ash looks happy, but a little thinner than before. Never did I think , behind her sudden weight loss after childbirth, there was such a change. For a long time, Ashi has been like a little sun, radiating light and heat to the people around him, including me. But I didn't know that the little sun's heart had already been burned to ashes, and he had faced a complete crisis. Cooling Dilemma.

?Actually, it’s nothing. Maybe God has been too good to me before, so he wants to test me. ?Ashi said that in the past year, she had used all her strength to live hard, tried hard to take care of every family member, dressed herself up beautifully, and had people come to take parent-child photos on her son’s birthday. After the whole family was settled, she took time to go to Thailand. Finally, she discovered that she, who was used to being taken care of, could be so capable.

When it comes to the future, Ashi is not particularly confident about her husband's complete recovery. The only thing she can be sure of is that no matter what situation she is in, she will keep her life "normal". ?If I fall down, how can my family survive? ?Ashi took out her mobile phone and showed me her parent-child photo. In the photo, she was holding her son, and both of them were smiling. Compared to the photo on the beach, her smile was no longer so carefree, but There is some more heavy content. Why do I feel that these heavy contents make her beauty more textured?

If you still want to hear, I can tell you many more stories like this, my grandma’s story, Teacher Hu Sui’s story, Sister Xiao Wu’s story, Security Guard Xiao Wang’s story, my own story.

Yes, the reason why I tell these stories is to find the strength to move forward in their stories. Over the years, I have been very unhappy. Sometimes I ask myself: Why are you so unhappy? Complaining has become my norm. Anyone who is close to me has heard my complaints. I always wonder why I work so hard but never get rewarded? Why do I have to work so hard while other people can be relaxed? Why do unfair and unlucky things always happen to me? ?

I have always believed that fate has treated me badly. Is this true? The answer is no longer important. When you listen to the story of aunt and Ashi, you will find that even if fate treats you badly, Even if life fails you, you must do it, never let yourself down or give up on yourself. So many people are living hard, so many people are carrying scars and still don’t forget to smile. If I don’t cheer up and live, how can I be worthy of the life God has given me.

How fragile people are, and every suffering will leave indelible scars on us; and how strong people are, as long as the suffering is not fatal, they will struggle to stand up in the mud and start again. .

We cannot choose our fate. The only thing we can choose is to live calmly and fearlessly when fate reveals its ferocious side. ;