What does a counselor do? You can trust him! Honestly?

Hello, I'm Zhang Didi, a psychological counselor. Welcome attention, let's live a better life with psychology.

There is no doubt that there is a degree of matching between counselors and visitors. A psychological counselor, his accustomed psychological counseling and treatment methods and schools, his style and personality characteristics, can not match all the situations of visitors, which is determined by the feelings of visitors.

Of course, the focus of the first visit will, to a certain extent, give visitors a sense of security and promote good consultation and visiting relations.

First, although we sometimes adopt face-to-face approach, we should respect the needs of visitors in consultation, regardless of the differences in consulting objectives or treatment methods.

Secondly, good acceptance and listening is the premise of establishing the relationship between consultation and visiting, rather than judging each other by self-moral standards, and being an observer rather than a critic.

Third, in the initial consultation, clearly explaining the confidentiality principle in consultation to visitors is also conducive to increasing the sense of security in confession.

In addition to the above three points, we say that there may be empathy in psychological counseling, and a correct view of empathy (except love empathy) is also conducive to a good psychological counseling relationship. Positive empathy can make visitors increase their trust in psychological counselors, while negative empathy helps to grasp the emotions of visitors and find the key points of psychological problems.

If the matching degree is not good, timely referral is also responsible for visitors and does not follow the professional ethics of wrong process.

Accepting you unconditionally makes you feel like a spring breeze, just like going back to childhood: you are a wayward child, you can say anything, you can freely express your views, you are unrestrained and childlike.

In essence, everyone has such an "inner child" who longs to be loved and needs attention and satisfaction all the time. So you project your injured "inner child" to the counselor, and the counselor accepts you and projects your "ideal parents" to soothe your deep fear and insecurity about "inner child". By returning to childhood, you can feel your emotions, heal your inner fears with love, help the growth of "inner children", enhance self-esteem and self-worth, and gradually get out of the shadow of pain.

Specifically:

1. It is the core and cornerstone for both parties to establish a safe and trusted good consulting relationship. Without this, there is nothing.

2. Respect: equality, courtesy, trust, sincerity, protecting your privacy and accepting you unconditionally.

3. Enthusiasm: Listen carefully to your heart.

4. Treat each other sincerely.

5.* * * Love: Feel your inner world and understand your pain.

6. Positive attention: treat you dialectically and objectively.

I'm not a psychiatrist, and I didn't graduate from college!

But I think a psychiatrist is like a patient's heart! Expect the patient to say it himself. Why don't you guide him?

Chinese medicine pays attention to seeing, listening and asking! I think a good psychologist should be able to watch, guess and comfort!

Viewpoint: eyes, face, mentality, behavior.

Guess: experience, life experience, feelings, knots.

Say: use "look and guess" to guide the topic.

Comfort: Use your professional knowledge to comfort your soul.

Heart disease is naturally treated with heart! Drugs are just an aid! Illuminate the darkness of the patient's heart with your inner light!

It's hard for patients to open up even when they face you. The heart that can't be opened is the heart disease! If they can tell you voluntarily, it means they are not sick at all!

Thank you for inviting me!

Lao Zuo Psychological Studio is very willing to answer your questions.

What can a counselor do to make you (visitors) trust him! Honestly?

I will answer your question from two aspects.

First, we know that psychological counseling is a process in which psychological counselors help visitors solve psychological problems. In this process, psychological counselors use psychological theoretical knowledge and consulting skills to form a dialogue between psychological meaning and visitors. In this kind of dialogue, there is deep psychological interaction. The psychological and behavioral problems of visitors can not only be solved, but also may change in psychological factors such as cognition, emotion and behavior, but all this depends on whether the counselor and the visitors can establish a good psychological counseling relationship.

The second psychological counselor can only be respectful, enthusiastic, sincere, * * * affectionate, actively pay attention to the visitors, treat the helper as an individual with autonomy and independent personality, and fully accept him; Emotionally, let visitors feel the counselor's attention and friendship and concentrate on talking and listening; Treat visitors with sincere attitude and behavior, do not wear masks, and do not appear as experts; Understand the visitor from the visitor's point of view, not the consultant's own frame of reference, so that the visitor can feel that the consultant can feel his feelings and understand his psychological and behavioral problems; At the same time, it can make visitors feel warm, caring and non-evaluating, that is, the psychological counselor conveys the information that I am willing to support and help you, that I value you and that I care about you; Only by not judging, accusing or evaluating the psychological and behavioral problems of visitors can visitors trust you and establish a good psychological counseling relationship between visitors and psychological counselors. Rogers, a master of humanistic psychology, once said that a good psychological counseling relationship between visitors and psychological counselors is the basis of psychological counseling and the basic condition for visitors to conduct psychological counseling. Similarly, only on this basis will visitors talk about their psychological and behavioral problems.

The first point is to find your roots in a two-or three-minute presentation. The second point is to determine the direction that needs to be changed, and work out a cure plan after getting your approval. Third, in an hour or so, at least one psychological card point breaks through and disappears. I wonder if you can recognize such a counselor and therapist.

As a consultant, we should be noble, sincere, respectful and equal when receiving visitors. First of all, you should inform the visitors of the confidentiality principle of consultation, and then choose a way suitable for the other party according to your observation, so as to build a timely response of communication, listening more and without judgment, and make the visitors feel safe and relaxed here. It is you who lead visitors to explore their own hearts and get to know them, not you who help them analyze problems. If you feel that you really don't match each other, then introduce them in time.

What does a counselor do? You can trust him! Honestly?

Psychological counseling refers to that psychological counselors use the relevant technical and theoretical knowledge of psychology and follow the relevant provisions of psychology to help people with psychological problems (called visitors in the industry), eliminate symptoms, get rid of pain, return to normal work and study life, and optimize a new and perfect career.

In order to achieve the expected results, psychological counselors have also learned many methods and skills of communication, conversation and listening. After years of study and practice, in the actual process of receiving cases and consulting, it is often felt that visitors do not believe in themselves, do not recognize themselves, terminate the consulting relationship, and it is difficult to make a complete case that achieves the expected results and the visitors recover. They are very upset and don't know what went wrong.

Psychological counselors should gain the trust of visitors, otherwise visitors will not tell their experiences, let alone actively cooperate. How can we make visitors trust and cooperate and tell their true experiences and feelings?

As a psychological counselor, the most important thing is to understand psychological problems, mental diseases and psychological obstacles, including insomnia, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder and depression. The formation mechanism, characteristics and laws of students' learning disabilities and seizures, and scientific and specific methods and programs are given. The visitor thinks that you can understand him and speak his mind, and he will certainly cooperate actively.

But there are exceptions Now some pampered children recognize counselors, who can understand and feel right, but they just don't understand and think, and the effect is not good. In this case, urging parents is of no help.

As a psychological counselor, I have also received some psychological counseling. My experience is:

(1) major, the psychological counselor gave me the feeling that I was professional and well-trained.

(2) Personality can feel a harmonious personality state, give me a comfortable feeling and create a safe space. It is said that comfortable feeling is a sign of high emotional intelligence, especially backward compatibility.

(3) Sincerity, respect and not condescending.

1. Before meeting with the counselor, ask him/her to provide his/her undergraduate major.

2. Ask him to provide his personal growth time and supervised time. Usually, everyone needs more than 100 hours to qualify.

3. Vocational training background is different from the first one. This is mainly the genre of training and related experience.

4. After meeting, see what he/she should pay attention to when he/she specifically mentions ethics. No ethics, no consultation.

5. Your personal feelings for him/her. No matter how senior and professional the consultant is, it is useless if he doesn't get along.

6. Later, other friends said that * * * loves to accommodate these.

First of all, make sure that the other party is qualified. Secondly, it depends on whether it is excellent.

1 quality consulting relationship is two-way nourishment.

A good in-depth conversation is to be invited by the other party to walk into his spiritual garden side by side and have a rational and emotional conversation. Through their own acumen, perception, technology and language, they collide with others to form a nutritious and deep relationship, and change others and nourish themselves in the relationship. In this in-depth conversation, you will gain "flow". When I was completely immersed in a deep feeling and accompanied my partner into his spiritual garden, I felt a little nervous, scared and determined to move on. Then, I began to experience the most subtle exploration in the world. Deep interactive collision induction, such as harp and song; The charm and difficulty of personality exploration, such as generate before breaking ground. Creative thinking appears between this moderate tension and highly interactive verbal stimulation, which brings an indescribable wonderful experience. Feeling from collision, such as dragonfly flapping its wings; Words generated by interaction are like flowing water. Excitement and satisfaction will follow, even accompanied by palpitations and dizziness similar to orgasm experience.

Counselors can't be experts like experts in all industries, because in that hour, there can't be any second that belongs to the counselor's expression, and all the content must be what the other party wants, even if what he wants is silence. In this relationship, imagine yourself as an advanced scaffold, equipped with the softest safety protection, and even equipped with many mirrors to help the other side see the dead angle. The other person can lean on you confidently, and sometimes even ignore your existence, so as to easily build a bridge and help him reach another self-height.

A visitor can't clearly express his inner pain in words, but can only let the people he contacts feel the same pain as his behavior, so as to seek understanding. This is empathy. All this happens in the subconscious all the time in the consulting relationship. The so-called one-on-one in-depth help is to realize the subconscious empathy behavior and language that the other person brings to you or the people around him through the deep awareness of the psychological counselor, and then help him express his needs. When change is really needed, change can happen.

Remote one-on-one consultation is often more like playing hide-and-seek with children. You know where the child is hiding, you have to keep looking around, but you can't find him directly; You have to pretend to circle and create some tension that will be discovered soon, otherwise the children will feel that the game is not painful and will shout "I am here" bored. The same is true of the consultation process. It is well known that the core problem may not hit the target as soon as it appears. The other party is not ready and will not accept them. You have to detour, but don't digress too far, so that the other person feels that you don't understand him at all. You have to peck away the hard shell near his scar from all dimensions, so that he won't run away painfully, but there will always be some strange slight pain. When one day he is ready, you should be keenly aware of his slightest desire to be broken by you, and take it down accurately, so that the other party can feel happy and captured. Everyone seems to know a lot about how to treat others. But the difference is that it is acceptable to say or not to say, how to say it and when to say it. This is the difference between professionals and ordinary friends.

High-quality consulting relationship is sincere communication of personality. Psychological counselors can convey the strength that the other person needs at the bottom of the personality foundation. For example, unconditional love, high-quality companionship, stable and powerful attention. If these transmissions are based on technology, they can be divided into "emotion", "listening" and "analysis" technologies. Although it can be transmitted through technology, what the other party receives only stays at the level of consciousness-impeccable, but indifferent. Only by living in that state, living in self-confidence, living in sincerity and living in strength can we truly pass on the personality of the other party.

Thought can always be free between relaxation, relaxation and tension, depth and shallowness. Psychological counselors are accompanied by fresh life, and clients need to have a thinking mind and an emotional fireworks life. Only by appealing to both refined and popular tastes can we enrich our wisdom, and only by being refined among the popular can we live in the world.