What is the psychology of a family who is taciturn and irritable at home and cheerful and kind outside?

There are many such situations in life, so a chicken soup article concludes that we always leave the worst side to the closest people.

Let's analyze the reasons. The pace of modern life is fast, and people always become mechanical, tired and happy when they are busy.

First, it makes sense that writers are often called tired. When you are at home, you should consider all kinds of living expenses and deal with trivial matters. You become anxious and irritable because of responsibility.

We often say that home is a harbor of happiness. Before we got married, we felt that we had found a safe haven. After we got married, we knew that the storm would still come. This harbor needs the cooperation of two people, Qi Xin.

If you take responsibility as a burden, you will be very tired, your heart will be more tired than your body, you will stop loving communication, you will become irritable, you will have resentment, and even family cold violence will occur.

Being in this mood for a long time, no one can stand it. Everyone has an instinctive way to adjust. It is good for health and family to escape from the depressed environment temporarily, chat with neighbors, friends or colleagues and make jokes to adjust their mood.

Second, the descendants of the bloodline family. Man's life is to mechanically repeat the past. In "Origin and Fate", maybe your parents get along like this, and you have lived in this depressed environment since childhood.

Want to change? I definitely want to! If you don't change, be careful that your children will do the same in the future. So how to change? Anxiety is useless, and double anxiety can only be worse.

All you can do is accept it. Your home is not ideal. That's fine, but it doesn't prevent you from loving your wife (husband) and children, and thanking your wife (husband) and children for forming a family with you. In this way, happiness means coming back slowly and the home becomes warm and harmonious.

Third, personality and age are also reasons. For people who don't know much about humor, this situation will be more serious.

There is a "seven-year itch" in marriage, which is the weakest link in the marriage journey, so I won't say much here.

"Stand at thirty", "Don't be confused at forty" and "Know your destiny at fifty". With the growth of age, people's minds continue to grow, their mentality tends to be peaceful, and the galloping horse will eventually return to the family.

In the case of being taciturn and irritable, it is because no one at home is pleasing to the eye and I am upset when I see my family. He must have met a lot of messy things and was unhappy for a while, but he was calm outside and joking. At this time, he is smiling and unhappy. Go out because you forget the unhappy things, pretend as if nothing has happened, and hide your sulks in your heart. If a word is wrong, it will break out, the elves outside will live, and when they get home, they will become a pool of mud and restore the original atmosphere.

I'm glad to be invited to answer this question.

This should be a sign of youth or immaturity, and always give the gentlest side to strangers.

But whenever you meet something, need help, or need money, most strangers can't help you at this time, only your family can definitely help you.

We have experienced a lot. As we get older, we will love our families more, because we are experiencing what they have experienced.

However, your personality is closely related to the family education environment in which you grew up. Why are some people cheerful and lively, while others are introverted and not good at expressing themselves? Parents are the first teachers.

I hope my answer can help you.

In this case, you must check the feng shui at home and whether you have anxiety or bipolar disorder, and change it immediately after symptomatic treatment.

I am too depressed at home. Facing my family, I have grievances, grievances and resentment for many years, and I can't adapt. The problem has existed for many years, but I never thought about solving or alleviating it.

In the face of outsiders, we can talk if we get along, but we can't talk if we can't. Without friction, there would be no resentment and resentment.

Reminds me of a sentence, I gave the best to strangers and the worst to my family. Actively participate in some positive energy activities, the mentality will change greatly, be grateful, and gradually get close to your family.

This is a role change on different occasions.

Actually, I believe in multiple personalities. At home, who are we dealing with, parents or biological brothers and sisters, living together since childhood, at least before going to college, which makes it easier to vent our emotions. If something goes wrong, perhaps the family can feel it most directly, and after venting it, it will return to its original state. Why dare you do this? Because that's our family, we know that no matter what we do, they won't abandon us, so we

Outside, there are many friends, but even sincere friends, we have no right to get angry with them at will, because they are just trash cans that we usually vomit, but they are not toll booths, and everything can make us pour out. Long-term friendship does not necessarily mean sharing everything. You have too much negative energy. What should your friends think? Over time, I am afraid that they will be alienated or not as close as before.

Conclusion: Family is our eternal backing, and we can lose our temper at will. In addition, because we are too close, many places are prone to disputes, but the starting point is for our own good. When we treat others outside, respect comes first. If we are friends, it is the kind of effort to spread positive energy, instead of spraying them like a powder keg every day.

In modern society, there are many such people. Based on the facts you stated, I think this is a typical "cold domestic violence" phenomenon. So what is "cold domestic violence"? According to the definition of this kind of psychological behavior in encyclopedias and textbooks of Abnormal Psychology, we can accurately understand "family cold violence":

At the same time, I think this kind of people also have the remarkable characteristics of "split personality" Here, for convenience and professionalism, we might as well quote Chen Jing, deputy chief physician of the Department of Psychiatry of Wuhan Mental Health Center. She said:

As you said, patients with this mental illness often don't know, don't want to find out, and even have any behavioral defects. But we have to admit that people who have this kind of behavior, we suggest easy medical treatment, rather than serious medical treatment.

He who tied the bell must untie the bell. Once the patient is stabbed in the pain or extremely resists treatment, the result is often worse than we expected. Therefore, even if problems are found, they should be handled with extra caution. Communication and care are still the only magic weapons.

It is the most basic accomplishment not to bring bad feelings to your family.

This kind of behavior is the external embodiment of self-protection consciousness and exists in the subconscious. Many people will choose to vent their negative emotions on the closest people. It is safest to do so. They will not conflict with leaders because of bad emotions, nor will they make enemies because of bad emotions. It is easy to be understood and forgiven to vent one's negative emotions on close people.

In modern society, the pace of life is fast and the pressure of survival is great. In front of leaders and colleagues, they are always eager to be versatile, just to make their living space broader and more stable. Sometimes it is inevitable to swallow your pride, force a smile, make every effort to bow and scrape to leaders and colleagues, and pass on grievances and injuries. After a long time, people will be unbalanced and emotionally unstable, and everyone needs to vent.

So this kind of practice is understandable, but it does not support this kind of behavior very much. The pressure of survival is on every family member, and the family needs to be built together by every member, so that it will be full of warmth and yearning, rather than exhausting at the thought of going home. No one can casually treat others as emotional trash cans, nor can they be understood and forgiven every time, which will cause unnecessary quarrels. If this kind of emotional consumption is too frequent, it may even lead to unnecessary quarrels.

You can try to change this situation, and the suggestions are as follows:

First, stand still in the garage or corridor for ten minutes before entering the house, adjust your mood and expression before entering the house.

Before entering this loving environment, you must think clearly that you can't have irreparable consequences because you are unhappy for a while. Cultivate yourself, calm down and give your family a look. Only by closing your troubles can you open your warmth.

Second, improve your own pattern and improve your ability to withstand pressure.

Getting a higher position, higher salary and alleviating the pressure of survival through study will inevitably divert a lot of attention, release many contradictions that should not be enlarged and improve the ability to resist pressure.

Third, cultivate hobbies and choose appropriate places and ways to release their negative emotions.

You can make a psychological sand table, or cultivate some hobbies, such as fitness, swimming, mountaineering, playing ball games, outing ..... Let sweat wash away negative emotions, let the sun shine into the dark soul, and don't just treat people as objects of recreation.

I wish you a happy family.

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