Don't think you can bite just because you are a dog.

1. A day is actually very short. As soon as the computer is turned on and off, it will pass.

Notice: In order to celebrate the arrival of mother, all the ladies' toilets and bathrooms are open to you free of charge. Welcome to visit!

Some people can't tell what is good, but no one can replace it.

Don't think you can bite just because you are a dog.

5, don't delete you just want to see how you write that woman's mood.

6. The best way to surpass is to refuse to become vulgar.

7. Don't be afraid to ask for a heart-to-heart meeting just because you may be separated.

8. [If you love someone but can't be together, but can't meet at the right time]

9. It turns out that except those friends who don't keep in touch often. I am always alone.

10, a thought of prosperity, a thought of gray; The difference between thoughts becomes joy, everywhere is prosperous and everywhere is brilliant; I miss you inch by inch when I think about it.

1 1, happy, I am satisfied.

12, we are like Na Pianhai where the Baltic Sea and the North Sea meet, but we can't merge when we meet.

13, I will be warm and cold, and I will be more careful.

14, I really miss it when I stood shivering in the street alone.

15, I remember you told me to forget. You said you would cry because you didn't care.

16, there is no doubt about employing people. In fact, supervisors and subordinates follow * * *, and the performance of subordinates will affect the performance of supervisors; The authorization of the supervisor is enough to determine the performance of subordinates.

17, I am a person who often laughs but is not always happy.

18, time flies, even if all my courage is finally exhausted, don't wait until I give up to know my own goodness.

19, my soul seems to be taken away by you, leaving only my bleeding heart.

Twenty shortened the distance between us, lengthened the time and lost our way.

2 1, don't say sorry to me, sorry can only get your peace of mind, not my relief. .

22, children don't treat me as a fast broadcast, open it when you are lonely, and watch movies with others when you are happy.

Don't think that you can hit people with less clothes.

Introduction: A psychopath came to the bank's withdrawal window, knocked on the glass and asked the waiter, "Is this glass bulletproof?" The waiter answered yes. Then the psycho asked, "Is it explosion-proof?" The waiter turned pale with fear and was about to call the police. The psycho took out two large and small kings and stuck them on the glass and said, "Blow!" Ten seconds later, the waiter said trembling, "I can't afford it!" "

One day, the teacher was giving a lecture, but no one was listening. The teacher shouted to everyone to be quiet, but no one paid attention to him. So, I pushed the sleeping monitor and told him to be in charge of discipline (the monitor is fierce). The monitor stood up and shouted, "Quiet!" Suddenly no one spoke. GC is the display, and immediately said, "TMD, what's that noise?" Listen carefully to my son! "

2. A science man finally fell in love with the girls in his class after failing to pursue several liberal arts girls. But he is always distressed because he can't say some romantic love words. One day, he was visiting the park with his girlfriend when he suddenly had a brainwave and said affectionately, "Since I met you, I feel my world has become smaller." The science girl winked and said, "Do you think I'm fat?"

Father and son, one carrying a big hoe, the other carrying a small hoe, went to the field to weed. After a while, I heard gongs and drums in the distance. It turns out that someone in the village married a daughter-in-law. The son put down his hoe, blushed and said to his father, "Dad, I am twenty this year." The father looked at his son and said, "Oh, let's get a big hoe tomorrow."

4, the ubiquitous hidden rules, a landlord college students, just after the final exam, cheat sheets were found by invigilators. The horse immediately put the cheat sheet in his pocket, came to the exam and said, take it out. I accidentally took out 100 yuan in my wallet. The invigilator paused, smiled and took away 100 yuan, leaving me messy in the wind. ...

5. One day, Xiaoming asked his teacher a question he didn't understand. What is beauty and what is regret? The teacher thought for a moment and replied, "I had a good dream and I still remember it now." "It's beautiful, huh! What about regret? I'm awake.

6. Teachers will encounter all kinds of interesting answers when correcting papers at the end of the term. Test 1 of a certain grade: Change the following sentence into anthropomorphic sentence, the sentence is "Birds chirping in the tree", and most students change it into "Birds singing in the trees" as usual. Suddenly I saw a sentence: the bird cried in the tree: "I am a man!" " I am human!

7. Before Zhang Fei and Guan Yu became sworn, they met one day and practiced calligraphy together. After a while, Zhang Fei studied it carefully and found that his handwriting was not satisfactory. He turned to Guan Yu and said, "My handwriting is too ugly. What about yours? " Guan Yu put down his pen and clenched his fists, saying, "You are so ugly! It's a long story Nice to meet you! "

8. Several pregnant women in the company are still at work. One day, the leader came down to be considerate of the employees and asked them for months when he saw their bellies! Then say yes, yes, it must be a man, and everyone is happy! Then another one came, and the leader asked: Wow, the watermelon is so big, it has been several months! I only heard my sister paper say shyly: Sorry, it's been several years! ! Leader: Yes, yes, try Nezha!

9. When I was in junior high school, I secretly fished in a fish pond in the next village. I caught more than a dozen fish, big and small, and others caught me. I was forced to bring the fish to my home and ask my parents to pay for it ... I had no choice but to take them home. Dad saw me coming back with fish and said, "I tell you, the fish in that fish pond will take the bait, but unfortunately not as much as last time ... Hey, who's behind you?"

10, Aunt introduced his girlfriend to Hall's friend and asked him for photos. Hall took the ID card and the photo was invincible. I didn't expect the girl to see such a real person. They are really together. I just want to say: what kind of people have what kind of life!

1 1, the chairman said to Xiao Ming: Xiao Wang, there is something you can help me with. I want my daughter to take over the company. Shuiyue won't come anyway. You are all young people. You can help me convince her. I can't lose you afterwards. The next day Xiaoming went to the chairman: Dad, ok, she will go to work tomorrow. The chairman was startled: who do you call dad? Xiaoming: Didn't you tell me to sleep with your daughter? She was really touched! I'm still holding the wall CHAIRMAN: Get out.

12, female a: stop filming, a mirror has been filmed for half an hour. Woman B: Who makes me so attractive? Woman A: I think there are only two kinds of people in the world who can attract people. One is beautiful, the other is you.

13, a few days after school, oral ulcer. I put up with it for a few days at first, but then I couldn't eat any more. My father took me to the hospital for emergency treatment at night. Finally, when I opened my mouth, the doctor shouted, "Don't look, the oral ulcer is late!" " "My dad is weak when he hears Late Edition. Then the doctor said slowly, "It's almost ready. Don't waste money. "

14, let my colleagues wait for me to have dinner together at night. He went to eat by himself. So I calmly walked to the canteen, locked his bike with mine and turned off his cell phone!

15, grandma is superstitious. She said it takes nine monks to become a cat, so her cat is also a vegetarian. Poor cat, she hasn't eaten a bite of broth since she was a child, let alone fish. This day, grandma asked me to help him boil water. I asked her, "Why do you want to boil water?" Grandma said, "when the cat grows up, I will shave it!" " "I said in surprise," What are you going to shave the cat for? " Grandma said solemnly, "This cat was changed by a monk. Now I have to shave when I grow up! " "

16, chat with my eight-year-old nephew after tutoring him in English. I teased him about whether there were any beautiful girls in his class that I liked. His words made me instantly confused: "Aunt, you know me. If I love someone, I won't say it easily! "

17, several girls are talking about the pressure of their boyfriends. A said: "I put 20% pressure on my boyfriend and feel that my life has improved a lot now." B said: "I give my boyfriend 50% pressure and feel that the future of both of us is bright." C said: "I gave my boyfriend 100% pressure and felt that other girls' lives were much better. Now he is an ex-girlfriend. . . "

18, went to buy shoes with some classmates. After visiting several stores, I finally saw a pair, but I still want the boss to lower the price. One of them said, "Boss, make it cheaper. There are many of us." Hearing this, the boss stood up and said, "Why, there are many people, and I'm afraid you'll be wordy!" " "

19, I just had dinner with some friends, one of whom was an idiot who played games in the internet cafe all night yesterday. He was so sleepy while waiting for the food that he banged his head on the table, which was neither painful nor itchy. I pushed him and he didn't wake up. Just as the waiter's sister was nearby, we said, why hasn't the food been served yet? I fainted. This confused the girl and ran and shouted: manager, manager, manager! Someone at table 5 is starving!

20. I am a senior three, and I am studying hard. Today, the math teacher bought a lot of steamed buns and gave the whole class the same pair of shoes to eat. I instantly found out how much we love her, but 10 minutes later, the teacher asked us with a pile of test papers: children, are you full? It's time to go to war when you're full! After that, Mr. A angrily threw half a steamed bread on the ground and shouted: This TM is actually a decapitated meal!

2 1, the traffic police saw a driver struggling to push the car in the street and asked, "Is there something wrong or is there no gas?" Do you need help? " "I forgot to bring my driver's license when I went out."

22, the wife said: Lao Wang is upstairs, there is a lot of money at home, breakfast is solved at McDonald's! Today, I saw him coming out from the inside with a satisfied face. I said: you are really rich! He smiled: "Oh, I just went to the toilet and didn't bring my own paper and water. Who told him that he was a foreigner and earned our money? "

23. Xiaoming has been watching the teacher giggle in class. Teacher: Xiaoming, why do you keep smiling at me? Xiaoming: Because I have a cold. The teacher said with concern: Do you still laugh when you have a cold? Did you take your medicine? Xiao Ming: Laugh after taking medicine. Teacher: Why? Xiaoming: The advertisement says it will work all day! Teacher: Yes. .

24. I saw the most beautiful joke today: M: I like you for a long time. Can you be my girlfriend? The woman came over and pa ... The man covered his face: Why? Don't hit me even if you don't agree. Woman: Nima, I have been in love for a long time. Why didn't you say so earlier and let me be single until now?

25. Going home by bus, a foreigner is listening to music with a mobile phone. The loud headphones make me a little impatient. After thinking for two minutes, I finally got up the courage to say to the foreigner in English, "Can you turn down your voice?" "What's it to you?" roared the foreigner in clear and common words.

26. One day, on the bus, a girl got on the bus and wore a miniskirt. A buddy took a glance and the girl slapped the buddy. That buddy is really anxious. He took off his pants and slapped the girl, saying, don't think you can hit people with less clothes. ...

27. In the morning, before I woke up, my girlfriend was busy in the kitchen. The smells of apples, eggs, chicken soup, milk, pancakes and all kinds of delicious food came to my face, and I felt a sense of happiness. When I woke up and walked into the kitchen, my girlfriend had eaten all these, and no one was left! Leave a note for me to brush the pot and dishes!

One day, our teaching director was kidnapped. The kidnapper demanded a ransom of/kloc-0.0 million yuan, and said that if he didn't give it, he would burn him with gasoline. When he heard this, the whole school was shocked and the students discussed it privately. You know how the dean usually treats us. We can't turn a blind eye like other students. Why don't we donate some? Yes, donate some. A: Then how much do you donate? B: Donate three catties of gasoline first. A: Then I will donate five catties!

29. One day, a car accident happened in the street. A woman sat in her sagitar and called: Husband, there was an accident! Nothing, I broke a bread. A man outside the car said foolishly, tell your husband that bread is called Land Rover. ...

30. I go to a distant city on business, so I prefer to fly. Fast and convenient. Unexpectedly, I just arrived at my destination. Just after the plane landed, a buddy in the front seat was hanging around with a ticket in his hand and kept talking. Listen carefully: Nima. In fact, it is "this insurance is useless again!"

Editor's note: I have a good girlfriend who has been inseparable since childhood. She came to my house the other day and cried that she had been cheated by her partner for eight years. I said no, you have been together for eight years. Unexpectedly, she cried even more. My best friend said that I was sad because I stayed there for eight years. At this moment. I can't help but sigh: men don't have a good thing. Eight years of love! I can't resist a temptation.

Women should not think that they can stop studying because they are good, and men should not think that they can grow up if they study well.

1, public relations means: Zhang Zi is not as good as chopsticks, chopsticks are not as good as face, face is not as good as ticket, and ticket is not as good as braid.

2. Smile at the sun and be happy together.

The sky with you is always blue.

4. Make a mistake for the first time, make a mistake for the second time and make a mistake for the third time.

One day, I will take off my mask for someone.

6. Maybe I'm not your favorite, but I know you best.

7. Love is not everything. So don't blindly pursue eternal happiness.

8. Women should not think that they can stop studying because they are good, and men should not think that they can grow ugly because they study well.

9. I'm just a madman with unique feelings.

10, if one day I die, please don't come near my body, because I don't have the strength to reach out and help you wipe your tears.

1 1, I don't want to wake up, I would rather indulge all the time. I don't know the way back, but I would rather pursue it without regret all my life.

12, I have never doubted myself. I have never been discouraged.

13, a person has at least one dream and one strong reason.

14, eunuchs will go to brothels, and Liu Xiahui will do nothing because he is gay!

15, the flowers of the motherland bloom and I step on one.

16, what do you mean things are different? You turn the message board from the back to the front, and those who say they will always be with you no longer contact.

17, you can't blame me for not doing well in the exam, but I will. It didn't pass the exam at all.

18, women sleep with money and men are haggard.

19, at the beginning, we were all just children.

20. Time is only responsible for the flow, not for your growth.

I thought I could do it as long as I worked hard, but why did I seize the memory?

I thought I could do it as long as I worked hard, but why did I seize the memory?

In blatantworld, I'm just a bystander. In the noisy world, I am just a bystander.

People who are happy to die in one sentence can also die in one sentence.

When we meet love, no one will be the same after time.

I was eager to be with someone for a long time. Later, I was glad that I left.

Some things we know are wrong, but we have to stick to them because we are unwilling.

I am not a single-minded woman after all, and I will disappear into your world sooner or later.

I still like the songs I liked before, and people who left before still miss them. It is a bad habit to miss the past.

I am not afraid that the road is too far to find the end, and I am afraid that the two worlds will not draw a circle.

If you give up, please don't look back. Some roads can only be taken once.

I want to try, if one day I leave silently, I wonder who will look for me all over the world?

Will someone tell me to stop pretending? I know you're unhappy.

If there is no if, no once, no memory, what is left?

When I call you, no matter when, it means that I am lonely.

I miss those times, because there are my purest thoughts and my most complete heart.

Do you often act like a fool in the middle of the night and don't know why you can't sleep?

No one can be pure until the end, but remember, don't forget your original self.

Sometimes I dream that I am crying, but when I wake up, I find my tears are still wet.

I don't allow people I care about to leave me for any reason or in any form.

I have shed so many tears for you, and now you tell me that my tears are worthless.

In fact, I have always understood that it is not easy to accompany someone all the time.

If time can go back, I will try my best to avoid you and never pass you by.

Sometimes, I know something by chance, only to find that what I care about is so ridiculous.

Is there someone who has been living in your heart and never left?

Whoever loves someone will get bored. So what you said never existed.

I used to think that it is not easy to have; Later, I learned that it was harder to give up.

Want to find a reason to forget, want to find an excuse to give up, but I don't know where to start.

I tried everything to forget you. In the end, I still miss you so much

You said that time will dilute all this and distance will make us feel better.

A simple life. My mind is blank. Now it's all up to you.

You are the only one in my world, and that's enough.

I was still waiting for you in the same place, but you forgot that you had been here; Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

If one day you lose me, I will never let you find me.

I'm used to life without you, but I still can't forget you.

The moment when you obviously don't want to give up, but you have to throw away the things about memory in the past.

The person I love is not my lover. Every inch of her heart belongs to another person.

I just want to hear your voice, even if there is only one sentence, even if I don't have the right.

No more tears, you ask me, who will tears flow for in the end. Flowing for you.

I know that I always miss the past; I know that if you want to forget yourself, you must forget yourself first.

The best place is where you have never been. The best time is when you can't come back.

I know. I know everything. It's not that I don't say it, but that I don't want to say it.

I hate this feeling. I feel sad, but I don't know why. I just feel sad all the time.

If you can't express yourself for a long time, you can call it aphasia

True love will not be diluted by time, but the longer the time, the happier it will be!

There are two realms in life, one is silent pain, and the other is silent laughter.

I used time to prove my singleness, but you let time prove my stupidity.

I no longer understand who you are, I no longer dare to be with you forever,

I have never given up everything for anyone, because no one is desperate for me.

No one can be pure until the end, but remember, don't forget your original self.

Is there such a person, you have said to give up countless times, but you still can't bear to part with it?

Find a reason that is not a reason and let the long-awaited tears flow out.

Love is actually ruthless, especially humble love, which is doomed to be scarred.

Some people, whom we know love, have to give up because there is no ending.

Some words, you inadvertently said, but I was seriously sad for a long time.

You are a very important person to me. But this has nothing to do with love.

There is such a person who can recognize my voice and send me a message on his own initiative, saying that I want to listen to you.

I learn to be strong, so strong that I don't have to learn not to think or forget.

I always feel old. Actually, it's not. People will get old in an instant.

If one day, you look into my eyes, you will find that you are the only one there.

When you lose me, you will understand that no one will treat you like me.