You went to Paris and I stayed in Beijing Emotional Diary

Actually, I no longer love you, after we were married for two years.

You stopped loving me a long time ago, two years after we got married.

You understand, I understand, we didn’t say it out loud.

I sleep in the living room, you sleep in the bedroom, and our dog stays in the cage every day.

You have forgotten why we got married in the first place, and I can’t explain why we got together.

Last summer, you quit your job and started learning French.

You said that you were tired of staying in Beijing and wanted to go to Paris.

You said the foggy sky here makes people despair.

You said the crowded roads here make people confused.

But this is Beijing. When you stay here, you want to leave it every day, but after you leave, you can’t wait to come back.

I didn’t take your words to heart, but your French improved very quickly. In the autumn, you could already sing "My name is Elaine..."

We are here I was singing in the KTV in Guomao. At that time, the voice of China was overwhelming, and a host named Hua Shao became very popular.

I remember that the only person who didn’t sing that night was our friend Jianben.

You sang several songs, but I can’t remember the lyrics. We felt that our separation was just for fun.

The wind was very strong that night, and the city of Beijing seemed to be crying, but no one was sad.

We sent the homework books back to the East Fourth Ring Road together. You sat in the front row, and he asked me jokingly: When will I kill you?

I said you must be killed before you go to Paris.

You laughed, I laughed, and the street lights suddenly became so warm.

You know that I am a fat man, but you are not tall, you are not beautiful, you do not have long legs, you do not have big breasts, you can’t take selfies, photoshop your face, or even your There is nothing feminine about the eyes.

Neither you nor I know why we want to be together and why we plan to separate.

When you got home, you grabbed the bed and I grabbed the sofa.

This is an agreement between you and me, whoever grabs the bed will sleep on it.

This house is not big. I spent 1.6 million when I bought it. Now I can sell it for 2 million, in just two years.

In the following days, you will still go to school to learn French, and I will still go to work in the company.

Sometimes I will pick you up, and sometimes you will come to me. They think everything is normal by looking at us.

Every time you eat, I will threaten you and say: You must thank me for giving you food.

You will also pretend to put your hands together and murmur: Pig, thank you for giving me food.

Because you no longer work, I have supported you for more than half a year.

We will also go to Sanlitun to watch movies and drink coffee like a couple. You like to eat some weird cakes, and I smoke.

I always thought that life would go on like this forever, but your French is getting better and better, and you can already understand the subtitles of Jean Reno's movies, that is an actor I like. There aren't many things I like, and you don't seem to have any hobbies.

Autumn is over, and you suddenly said that you wanted to rent a house and asked me to pay the rent. I agreed.

You packed up your things, divided them several times, and moved them away one after another. I was not at home.

They say it’s ugly when a fat man cries, and it’s ugly when a fat man sheds tears, so I’m not at home.

If you want to move, just move. Soon, it snowed for the first time in Beijing.

I have never been to your new home. I just went downstairs to give you two books.

Our contact became less and less, and we broke up with each other.

It seems that we are all liberated and free.

At this time, I felt that Beijing was really big and empty.

I bought a batch of wine, including Russian spirits, French red wine, and British whiskey... I often mix them together, and I can drink them without getting drunk. Sometimes When I wake up, I will vaguely see you stepping on the suitcase and searching in front of the closet.

When you have a boyfriend, I also started to use various software, WeChat, Momo, and even registered some marriage and dating websites.

I started to dress myself up. I wore boots, a windbreaker, and a scarf. I bought all kinds of big-name belts, including H-letter belts, G-letter belts, and Z-letter belts.

I also imitated their appearance, and put a pair of black frames on my nose... The homework book laughed at me and said that I was becoming more and more like a Hong Kong coward.

When it snowed for the second time in Beijing, I found my girlfriend.

With fair skin, long legs, a fierce temper, and a perky butt, she will leave you alone.

From now on, we will no longer have contact with each other, and I am too lazy to care about you.

I learned from my friends that you passed the French exam, your French university also sent a notification, and your visa passed...

I have never Don’t believe any of this is real until you get home and pick up your last piece of luggage.

There was a strong wind that day, and the homework book finally made a breakthrough in his life: he went abroad and came back safely from abroad.

He told me smugly and strange things, but I didn’t listen to a word of it.

I told him that you are going to Paris, come and see him for the last time.

The three of us went to eat together in Sanlitun, a Sichuan restaurant. It was so spicy that I couldn’t bear it, but you enjoyed it very much. I took three bites and couldn’t eat anymore.

I watched the two of you eat with messy cups and plates, smoking nonstop, and pretending that I was busy while checking my phone.

There are about a thousand people walking around in Sanlitun Square, and you and I often walk around here too.

The video store we went to together has closed its doors.

The spicy hotpot we have eaten many times is now deserted.

We have been there. Apple stores have been crowded countless times.

You said, buy me a hard drive. I want to use it to bake movies. I bought you the most expensive one, one thousand five hundred yuan.

You said, give me your tape recorder, and I gave it to you.

You said, give me your camera, I gave it to you.

You said, give me your sunglasses, I gave them to you... I will give you whatever you want. I don’t know why I am so generous. I seem to be eager for you to take everything from me. go.

The next day you went back to your hometown with me.

My dad gave you a stack of money, and you consciously put the money into my pocket when you walked out of the house.

You secretly put the gold watch my mother gave you into my bag.

I asked about the divorce procedures. You said to send the agreement to Paris, sign it and send it back.

I know that neither you nor I can stand the stimulation of the Civil Affairs Bureau.

Finally you and I had our last meal without the homework book.

Red wine collides, two years have passed, and you and I look at each other speechless.

You thank me for treating you well in the past two years. I pretend to wish you a safe journey and say that the past is over and I wish you a new beginning.

Only then did I realize that the touching parting scenes in the movie were all fake. The crying and heartfelt expressions did not exist in reality.

I thought I wouldn’t feel sad until the meal was finished, and I suddenly realized that neither you nor I moved our chopsticks.

I just keep asking you whether the house has been rented, whether school arrangements have been made, whether you have brought your medicines, whether your mobile phone, camera and recorder are fully charged, whether your passport and flight tickets have been put away... these are all I asked. You said that I am chatty and nagging, not like my ex-husband or my ex-dad.

Look, I have never said a word to save you.

We have never retained each other.

I still pay the bill, and I said in my heart, this is the last time I pay for you, and this is also the last meal you eat with me.

I didn’t take you to the airport the next day. I knew that I shouldn’t be the one to take you there.

I went to the airport anyway. I hid in a corner of T3. I wanted to take another look at you. You are not beautiful, you don’t have long legs, you don’t have big breasts, and your skin is not good. Bai, you are very short...but I just want to take a look at you again.

Countless people said goodbye at the airport. Some hugged, some waved, and some just made eye contact... I didn’t see you, and I wasn’t sad. The airport is only three short miles away from our home. After a ten-minute drive, I just felt that I suddenly couldn't drive back.