Let's talk about some classic jokes ~ _

1, Qin Shihuang

In one scene in this series, Lord Reese will be beheaded. He calmly said to his son, "Dad can't go with you in the future, and he can't lead the little yellow dog at the gate." The executioner raised a ghost knife and cut it down. A close-up of blood. Move the lens up. Sky. Unfortunately, the cameraman was blinded by the wind and didn't see a plane flying in the sky. It's a pity that all the oily meat in your mouth was sprayed out.

2. Romance of God

In this high-cost high-tech fairy tale of that year, we don't mention how it made the etiquette in the palace "inquire", nor did we say that Zhou Wang wrote poems with a brush, not to mention that it put watermelons and tomatoes on the market, not to mention that there was an obvious trademark on Molihong's pipa, and we said the protagonist. Ma Shi: "It's really a grievance to marry you, a worthless old thing that won't even sell you." Jiang Shang (seriously): "The ancients said (of course," the ancients "were born in the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period, and Jiang Shang was a prophet):' Heaven will be a great task for the people of Sri Lanka, and they must first suffer from their minds, starve their bodies, work their bones and muscles, and tire their bodies.' This is God's test for me. I won't be poor forever in Jiang Shang. "

Okay, I'll throw up all night.

3. the baise uprising

The revolutionaries were arrested and taken to the wall for a massacre. After they fell down shouting slogans, several big characters appeared on the wall behind them: "Illegal demolition, city propaganda Committee."

4, the song of the battlefield

Xiao Wang, the guard, was ordered to stop the enemy. Most of his body was exposed in the trench, brave and fearless, and the enemy's bullets shuttled around. He was unscathed. Then I finished my task and left. Before leaving, he hung his hat on a branch to confuse the enemy. In the blink of an eye, his hat was pierced with countless holes. Wang Shengli Jr. stepped back and reported to the chief. The person in charge smiled: "You are a smart card." Listen to the sound of enemy bullets! ! ! ! !

5. Xiao Li flies a knife

Several hooligans molested a beautiful woman in the restaurant, and Teddy boy happened to be here. Angry from embarrassment, the eye-catching hooligans are still filthy. The outcome is decided in an instant. The hooligans fell to the ground, and one of them stood up and said, "What a fast sword …" and then fell to the ground. Teddy boy lowered his head proudly and then inserted the sword into the scabbard. DD didn't insert it for the first time and the second time, so he looked down for a long time and proudly inserted the sword back into the scabbard.

6. Wu Zetian

Warrior Zhong was called Wu Zetian when he was a child: "That day! Then the sky! "

7. Gan Jiumei

Yi Jianping: "I don't know what year it is today ..."

Gan Jiumei: "The moon is full and sunny, and people have joys and sorrows. This poem by Li Bai, a poet in the Tang Dynasty, is really a masterpiece ... "Su Dongpo knows the underground, but he doesn't know whether he will be ashamed or happy.

8. The Legend of the Golden Platform Knight

Jintai: "How to get to Bianjing in one day? It seems that' eight steps to catch cicadas' is light. " This road, the golden platform is bright. Everything on both sides of the road is retreating rapidly, trees and telephone poles.

……

telegraph pole

I was wondering when I passed another one. ......

9. Legend of heroes in Sui and Tang Dynasties

Li Shimin was hiding in the mountain, and two Sui generals were outside.

General A: "What should I do?"

General B: "Let Yamakaji go and give him a spark to start a prairie fire."

10, I forgot the name of the TV series I watched recently.

The heroine has a wound on her face. But the tape posted on the left face two minutes ago was posted on the right face two minutes later, and the next episode appeared on the left face again.