Very interesting classic. Tell me about it.

1. Why are you so short? Because I've been in a mini!

They said that the chat ended in hehe, but I don't believe them. I sent a message to the male god yesterday saying: I like you very much. He said: Hehe. I replied: Hehe, a fucking wall. So I scolded him all night.

3. I kissed your face, full of cream, bb cream and sunscreen, and I felt that I ate a lot of money in one bite.

4. Do you mind if my breasts are small? No, I like the feeling of childhood.

I met a junior high school girl in the dining room, and she didn't remember me, so I reminded her: Do you remember the boy who was punished for kissing you in the Woods in junior high school? Her little face turned red at once, and she said with some excitement: You were the one at that time … I smiled shamefully: Yes, I was the one who complained at that time!

6. Do you want to cut a whole pizza into 8 pieces or 12 pieces? Eight dollars, 12. I can't eat it.

7. Just after being woken up, I heard a person in the community shouting: kill, kill, kill, reverse, reverse. This is the rhythm of great events! Look at what's going on, I quickly got up and ran to the window ... I went, and a man directed his wife to reverse the car!

8. My object is very good, elephants are also very good to me, and I am very good to horses, rabbits and dogs.

9. If no one in the world wants you in the future, you must remember that there is still me, and I don't want you.

10. Go out for a trip with your best friends and rest under the tree when you are tired. Suddenly a few drops of bird droppings fell on my face, and before I knew it, my best friend wiped it evenly for me, saying that your sunscreen had not been wiped evenly.

1 1. Uncle policeman, I lost my bag. Don't worry, it's my treat, and then you can pay me back!

12. What is it? Man is alive, and he is dead. Some people are alive, and he should have died.

13. What is loneliness? That is, the phone bill of 50 yuan has been used for three months, and it has not been used up ... three months!

14. Someone told me how cool it is to open a room. Finally, one day I couldn't help getting a room ... it was really cool to sleep alone in such a big bed!

15. It is said that all parts of the country are mourning for a guy named Hot this summer-it's too hot!

16. During the lecture, the zipper of the female teacher's pants opened, and a girl stood up to remind: Teacher, your door was not closed! The teacher waved his hand: whatever, the director of education will come to inspect it later.

17. Low-key male show's high profile, high-profile signs of being beaten.

18. If you were a flower, cows wouldn't dare to shit in the future.

19. Women's clothes are called capital, and men's clothes are called perverts.

20. I'm not afraid to drink dichlorvos. I'm afraid I'll be surprised if I open the lid and enjoy another bottle.

2 1. Spring has come, full of green eyes, and he has come, wearing green clothes! Md, even the hat is green!

22. People like spring breeze and hate cold wind. In fact, the cold wind is innocent, but the temperature is getting worse!

23. The computer is the microphone of angry people, and it spreads our abuse in the middle of the night!

24. I don't like the girl named Jenny, but I like the girl named Marnie!

25. A beautiful woman said: The man who held my hand for the first time was the gentleman who read my palm.

26. It's not that you don't roll, it's that I'm not hard enough.

27. Sanlu milk powder, the choice of stepmother.

28. Take the road of RMB, leaving people no choice!

29. Breaking up is boring. Divorce if you can!

30. Guinness Book of Records: The world's largest coffee table covers an area of 9.6 million square kilometers and can hold 654.38+03 billion cups.

3 1. Love yourself, be selfish first. Only selfishness can love deeply.

Some people always sell what they have in exchange for what they don't have.

33. When I was at school, it was just that money to muddle along, and now I have to muddle along!

34. Doing well in the exam depends on sitting at the same table.

35. I despise those who often chat with expressions.

36. If you have a heart, you will be tired. If you have no heart, it doesn't matter.

37. The highest state of being a man is not that you pick up girls, but that girls pick up girls.

38. You are so shameless and heartless, so your weight should be very light, right?

39. I saw a car on the road, and there were six words on the back: I was in a hurry to fly over.

I told you to keep a low profile. But you have to give me applause and scream.

4 1. The woman is China Merchants Bank and the man is China Construction Bank.

42. In fact, when a person is alive, he is a corpse, and when he dies, he becomes a pile of ashes.

43. My heart for you is harder than a diamond. . . . . . It's not a heart-shaped stone, is it?

44. When you lose your mind, it's as amazing as a pig climbing a tree.

45. It is said that there is a monkey in the zoo, so ugly that everyone vomits! I went to see it the next day and threw up! On the third day, you went to the monkey and threw up!

46. Life is like a piece of scrap metal. If you throw it into the fire, you can make a fine product by beating it!

47. After watching your life, I finally found the courage to live.

48. Time flies! It was dark as soon as I got up.

49. The chemistry teacher asked, What about the gas leak? Don't panic, light a cigarette and calm down.

50. You promised not to make me cry, but you smoked me with damn onions.

5 1. You don't like a girl like me. Do you like boys?

52. Boss, give me a sad haircut! thank you

53. Do you believe in Christianity or rooster crows?

54. You go your sunny way, and I will go my underground way.

55. Get up earlier than a chicken, go to bed later than a cat, and earn less hair than a bald man.

Pretending to be mature is the act of dressing up in an old room.

57. It suddenly occurred to me that since I had glasses, I was afraid to go out.

I am so lonely that even my desire is broken.

59. Famous saying, you have to be a celebrity first. That's a famous saying. Other people's farts are famous farts! Can you compare it?

60. What do young people do for a living? First-class young people rely on birth, second-class young people rely on relationships, third-class young people rely on talent, fourth-class young people rely on hard work, fifth-class young people play literature and art, sixth-class young people play games, travel is not good, watch American dramas.

6 1. Only those with strong ability will be regarded as pure technicians; But only social flattery, will be considered to have no real talent; Therefore, in order to stand out in the unit, the most important thing is the relationship.

62. Q: What generation gaps have you encountered? A: Fill in the blanks with Chinese-related words in primary schools: After 60: He would rather sacrifice his life than betray the organization. After 70: He was afraid of sacrificing his life, so he betrayed the organization. Post-80s generation: It is better for him to betray the organization than to sacrifice his life. Post-90s: Betray the organization even if you sacrifice your life. After 00: Sacrifice your life in vain and forget to betray the organization.

63. You are patriotic, dedicated and have a lot of backbone. Don't speak ill of others behind their backs, and don't frame others. You are the least dirty person in the world. You have a noble character and will never hit anyone. You are honest, kind and beautiful. Forgive what I just said against my will.

64. If fate seizes it? Throat? That's how you plan your destiny? Axillary.

My future is not a dream, but a nightmare!

66. I think you are really not a qualified friend. You'd better change to my wife!

67. That's definitely not the pimple on my face, it's called youth.

68. If you yell at a shrew in the street, you will definitely turn your head more than calling a beautiful woman!

69. The current playboy is because the original one is more attentive than anyone else.

70. There is an attitude called sentimentality and righteousness, and there is a state called nothing.

7 1. shenzhou trip is ok for me. I won't pay to see if you can.

72. I think it's good to call. Everything I say is valuable.

Actually, I am a homesick person. It's just a matter of who I live in.

74. white camel mountain strong bone powder, one knife and one bag, two knives and one …

75. How are you doing now? If you have a bad life, I will feel at ease.

76. * * * * The woman got into the hall, climbed over the fence, fought for the mistress, and beat the hooligan, but she couldn't get out of the kitchen.

77. Who told me that Nokia can smash walnuts? It's black now.

78. Life is too short to be sexy.

79. Take your advice and leave me ten books!

80. If you don't sleep in class, you will get drunk on the wine table.

8 1. Eat, I want to be thin, I want to be thin. I can't have both, so I left.

82. There are only three things I can do in school life: watching the results of the program, watching couples show their love, and watching local tyrants show off their wealth; Even worse: watch the local tyrants' achievements, watch the schoolmasters show their love, and watch couples show off their wealth.

83. Weeding is difficult to go to work at noon. After a morning, it was afternoon. If you have no money to spend, your heart will be more painful. For a beautiful day, hard work is hard work!

84. As an animal, I feel a lot of pressure …

85. I'm not Youlemei, I'm just dichlorvos. Do you want to hold me in your hand?

86. Happiness is that you are a vegetarian and I eat meat, letting you know that you have to struggle; You ride a bike and I ride a car, so you are much healthier; You sleep in bed, I sleep in bed, and I help you. You pay for my guests, and the money-making engine needs to be warmed up; You drink water and I drink soup, which is dull and has a good time; You work and I am at leisure, and you inherit the glorious tradition.

87. That's it. I almost miss you. My eyes are blue at midnight. I forgot to give money when I bought something. I don't want to eat pork stewed vermicelli. 1+ 1=3 is not difficult. Zhao Benshan was regarded as Sun Nan, and I cried that RMB had turned into dollars.

88. On the long road of life, whoever takes a few steps will have to stay at home and get along with his lover; There is a cook at home, a good-looking one at work, a lovely one outside and a missing one in the distance; Keep two, keep one, develop three, four, five, six, seven!

89. Pay all wages, including unplanned wages; All leftovers are contracted, including spoilage; Do all the housework, including mother-in-law's; Thoughts are reported every day, including a flash of thought.

90. Today's confession was rejected. Reasons for girls' refusal: We are not from the same world, and we are not suitable. I want to say: am I a fucking Martian? Not suitable for earth people?

9 1. My greatest skill is to use cheap things and expensive effects. Such as cameras, microphones, and yourself.

92. Nothing that can be solved with money is a problem, but I am poor.

93. Chickens refuse to make their meat unpalatable.

94. It's useless to think that others can't find me if I'm invisible. A woman like me is as dazzling as a firefly in the dark, no matter where she is.

95. Don't try to cheat me, or I'll play along.

96. The fortune teller said that I would meet a woman who was important to my life when I was eighty. Her name is Meng Po.

97. Don't be lazy with me, I'm too lazy to compare with you.

98. Qianshan has been in love. Can you give me some advice? The world has its own true feelings, and giving a perfect score is also love!

99. If marriage is the grave of love, then blind date is to show feng shui to the grave, confession is to dig the grave, marriage is double suicide, empathy is to move the grave, and the third party is to rob the grave!

100. I always bow my head in class. The teacher asked me why, and I answered calmly and sank back. I suddenly remembered home!