Simple and funny jokes

Simple and funny jokes

1. My mother said you can’t make bad friends, so my friends are all bad.

2. Wife: You gave me 100 yuan of clothes, which is simply an insult to me. The apology is too insincere and I won't accept it. Husband: So what should I do to make you accept it? Wife: At least buy one worth 200 yuan.

3. British love experts say from a boy’s perspective: Girls should be more proactive. If you just wait for a man to come to you, then you are probably waiting for a scumbag, because many decent boys simply don’t understand. Flirting.

4. When I was a child, I went to the zoo to see tigers and vowed to raise one when I grew up. Now, my dream has finally come true. Enough said, it’s time to do the laundry, and I’ll have to cook for my wife later!

6. Some people are good at geography, some are good at physics, some are good at history, some are good at mathematics, some are good at Chinese, some are good at English, and some are good at chemistry. I'm in a good mood.

7. My parents are always worried about me spending money randomly, but they are not worried about whether I have money to spend money randomly.

8. Others care about whether you fly high and whether you are tired from flying. Only I really care whether your wings taste better stewed with cola or braised in braised sauce!

9. Watch TV with my husband in the living room at night. It’s very late and my husband said it’s time to go to bed! I lied to my husband, "Husband, I want you to carry me in!" My husband looked at me and said, "Forget it, I'll move the bed out for you!"

10. Ask my wife today : "If there was a man who was ugly but very rich, would you want him?" Wife: "Why don't you want him? I want both of you who are poor and ugly."

11. Nowadays, what we can’t get up is our grades, what we can’t get down is our weight, what we can’t pick up and put down is chopsticks, what we can’t get into is our bed.

12. When I was young, I looked down on those scumbag students who fell in love early. Now that I think about it, I feel that those classmates are really amazing. They already have partners at a young age.

13. We cannot stretch the length of life, but we can expand the width of life. I think this sentence makes so much sense! The meaning is: although we can no longer grow taller, we can continue to gain weight.

Today I saw my ex-girlfriend sitting in the back seat of the electric car, holding her current boyfriend’s waist, shivering from the cold. I raised my lips and smiled proudly, and squeezed into the warm bus. car.

15. I like to be friends with foodies. They are all kind-hearted, because foodies spend all day studying what to eat and have no time to harm others.

16. The female manager took a nap and secretly used her WeChat to send a group message: "I'm pregnant." Unexpectedly, the boss replied: "Are you sure? This is no joke." We all read the news I was stunned, but the boss replied again: "We will set up a big project next, so you won't be responsible for it." I feel like I got into trouble

17. Poverty limits so many things, why? No limit on my weight?

18. The reason why I can’t lose weight is because I like to eat when I am happy, and my appetite is better when I am unhappy.

Super short funny jokes that make people laugh from ear to ear

19. My sister-in-law went on her honeymoon after her wedding, but she was unhappy when she came back from the honeymoon. I asked She: "What's wrong?" She endured it for a long time and said: "Brother-in-law, your car is more spacious. His car is too small and it is not comfortable to sit in."

Twenty, for To prevent me from spending money indiscriminately next month, I spent all the money in advance, with a breeze on my sleeves and a righteous look on my body.

Twenty-one. I was eating noodles at a noodle shop in the morning. A couple across the street were also eating noodles. The woman opened the iced black tea and took a sip. She looked at the bottle cap and said, "Husband, let me have another bottle." What? "Her husband said he didn't know, so the woman threw the bottle cap on the ground, and then the two of them finished eating and left. After walking a few steps, I knelt down and picked up the bottle cap. I saw the words "Thank you for your patronage". The couple turned their faces and the woman said, "Hurry up and bring me a hundred yuan. I'm telling you, someone will definitely pick it up!"