Talk about my mother-in-law. You might as well marry me as a eunuch.

1. Pesticides never contain a drop of milk.

Break up and cut the crap.

3. When I like you, I think you are cute when you eat shit. When I don't like you, everything you do feels like you are eating shit!

The laziest students are not students who don't do their homework, but students who don't copy their answers.

I was mentally retarded last year and can be promoted this year.

6. I shouldn't think about you.

7. When you can't answer the question in class, someone will always tell you the following answer. Just a few people, good friends, deskmates, fooling around.

8. Black monkeys who don't know the night during the day don't know the fat of pigs.

9. Everyone should send as many eggs as possible, not flowers, because eggs can be eaten and flowers can only be seen. ......

10. During self-study, the noisy classroom suddenly quieted down, and then everyone looked back to see if the teacher came from the back door. The truth is, no one.

1 1. Learning is hard and tiring, and tuition fees have to be paid. It is better to join the underworld, eat, drink and sleep!

12. Quiet, quiet. Either die in silence or explode in silence ~

13. Will we realize that what we don't know is an ideal or a dream?

14. I hate that I waited for your information for a long time, and all I got was, Oh, do you think I'm telling a story or a joke?

15. The sorrow of every nearsighted person: the world is a plane without glasses. Hermaphrodite rice, regardless of people and animals.

16. Who are you in your heart? I only sleep in my heart.

17. Shit, it's unfair that four teachers invigilate the mechanical room today and only one teacher invigilates it. . .

18. I hate people with different exes, especially those who flatter you to your face and call you worse than an animal behind your back.

19. I don't say it, you don't understand. This is the distance between us. Someone commented: This is a love story between a mute and an idiot.

20. Some jokes are serious at first. For example, I like you.

2 1. Your father and I went to eat mala Tang. When your father stamped his foot, the waiter brought me a bowl of mala Tang, which was neither spicy nor hot.

22. I won't marry unless I am from Peking University, and I won't marry unless I am from Tsinghua.

23. It's good to have sisters. It's really cool to blow them up when you are in a bad mood.

24. The fat man in our class is really awesome. He just took a shit in class last week and went to the mock exam again this week. That's great. I admire him.

25. The house is rotten and the future is uncertain.

26. Confession on April Fool's Day ... Tomb-Sweeping Day's confession is king, because ... if he refuses, it can be said that, um ... unfortunately ... he is just possessed.

27. My mother-in-law said that it is better for you to marry a eunuch than to marry me.

28. I think I am crazy. You can't even button up when you watch TV dramas.

After tomorrow, the eight-day class will be over. You must get enough sleep on Saturday. You won't get up even if there is a fire.

30. If the school has a course on dating, will the divorce rate be reduced a little now?

3 1. Valentine's Day, lover robbery. How many couples break up on this day!

Please marry me.

Please marry me.

0 1, with you, I lost myself. Without you, I hope I get lost again. I need you as much as I need to breathe air. I love you, honey, marry me!

02. Without self-confidence, I don't have the courage to speak my mind and confess my feelings, and I don't have the opportunity to stay with you all the time. Facing the distant years, my heart is very tangled. Seize this life, only today, marry me, and let me write a life without regrets for you.

03. The rape just planted in the field witnessed our love; The eternal oath is our promised love; Listen to the music played by Ye Er and see the dance that the grass dances for us. They are celebrating our marriage. Marry me!

The stone road in front of my house is hard and flat. My watermelon is big and sweet. My lover has long braids and beautiful eyes. If you are married, don't marry anyone else. Do marry me. I give you a house, I give you a ticket, I am a man. Marry me and come in my car.

05. There are trees in the mountains and branches in the trees. I love you. My love for you is as firm as a mountain, as firm as a stone on the mountain, as rooted as a wood in a stone, as a branch on a wood. Honey, marry me, a reliable man!

06. "I'll lend you my left hand." "Why did you lend it to me?" "You know, the left hand is the only way to the heart. I want you to see with your own eyes how much I love you. " Friend, is there always such a person around you? Marry him!

07, how many lonely nights, because of separation, how many affectionate thoughts, how many happy and romantic memories, because of love, I want to be with you forever, because life is short, marry me, so that our life is no longer lonely.

08, dear, there is no eternal love, just want to ask if you are willing to accompany me into the marriage hall. From now on, besides you, my life is still you.

09. Although the road ahead is long, as long as there is your company, it is heaven. Only after I met you did I know that my waiting was worthwhile. I want to spend every day with you, and I want to hold your hand for life! I want you to marry me.

10, the three-character proposal: meet you, like you, chase you. Date you, test you, please you, please you. Miss you, look forward to you, express you, and follow you closely. Please, cry and be crazy. You married you.

1 1. The love magician fascinated me. Now I can only see you in my eyes, think of you in my heart and hear your voice in my ears. The magician said that only when you marry me will the magic be broken. Marry me, I know, and you are also fascinated by him.

12. I haven't seen fishy meat for a long time to buy a diamond ring. In order to have a lively and decent wedding, I have retired from my hotel room and lived in a church. I didn't sleep for three days and two nights to buy a car. Dear, for my sincerity and hard work, will you marry me?

13, I won't say the oath of love, I will only do it, I won't praise your beauty, I will feel it with my heart, I will feel all your goodness with my heart, and you will always be the only and supreme perfect goddess in my heart. Marry me!

14, I can't wait for the seas to dry up and the rocks to crumble, and I can't wait for eternity. I just wait for you to marry me. Life is long, and it will be better to have you and me. Dear, you are the only one for me. Will you marry me?

15, saying that you know the end of life, I made this growth for you. No matter how lively you say, it will eventually break up. I created this life to show you. You said I knew it for a long time, so I made this winter flower Xia Xue for you to see. You said I missed the good old days, so I made this ukiyo-e painting for you. You said you were worried that it was too cold up there, so I handed over the mountains and rivers to please you.

16, if I am Guo Jing, you are Huang Rong; If I were Yang Guo, you would be Xiaolong; If you are the Seven Immortals, I am Yong Dong. Baby, marry me and I will always be your husband!

17, if you want to be vigorous, I will give you a vow of eternal love; If you want a long string of water, I will give you a long time. As long as you want, as long as you want, as long as I have, as long as I can. Honey, marry me and I promise you a happy life.

18, "In my heart, you are the wind and I am the sand. But everyone says you are a swan and I am a toad. If I want to marry you, everyone will say "so what" and want to eat swan meat. So in order to avoid crazy talk, dear, please take the initiative to marry me. Then I think everyone will say that "the swan has become a beautiful phoenix since she married that thing"! "

19, we always shuttle through this city, and there is always no direction in the vast sea of people. I know my heart doesn't belong, and I wander around. How about you give me a home? Let me stop wandering in the sea!

Dear, thinking about you is my daily theme, loving you is my daily theme, hurting you is my daily symphony, and loving you is my daily basic theme. I miss you, love you, love you, love you all my life.

2 1. More and more yesterday, less and less tomorrow. It was too late yesterday, and it will be a pity tomorrow. What are you hesitating about today? I am an out-of-print man in front of you, girl, don't marry me soon. Opportunity knocks but once.

22. What I hope is that you are happy. What I long for is that you are happy. What I expect is that I can take care of you by your side. What I hope is to take care of you for ten thousand years. My biggest wish is that you can promise to marry me!

23. Green Wei Zi, lingering in my heart, is an eternal song and a heart. I love you, not just three simple words, but I am always ready to take care of your life. Marry me, baby!

24. If I don't see you for a day, my heart will panic. If I don't see you for a while, my heart will be cold. If I don't see you for a while, my heart will be numb. If I don't see you for a minute, my heart will tremble. If I don't see you for a second, my heart will be worried and my heart will say, Marry me!

Dear marry me

Min Min, maybe my sincerity is not enough, maybe my behavior is not decent, so you may not really understand my sincerity. Dear, how much I want to stay with you all the time and talk about the future, just like you told me. I hope we can talk face to face all the time. Yes, I want this scene. I also hope to have you by my side and listen to everything I want you to hear, but I think I am too selfish to consider your feelings and thoughts. I'm sorry, my baby.

I miss you more and more now. You seem to be in my life. I communicate with you with my heart every day, and I don't want to leave any leisure. But I know that it's all meditation in my mind, not reality. But I believe you will know the conversation in my heart, and you have got the information without my news. Because you know me like the back of your hand, my thoughts can't escape your feeling of being careful.

I was ecstatic when I heard that you would like to be with me and be my bride. When I was ready to wear it, you told me it was just an April Fool's Day gift! In an instant, I went from ecstasy to madness. Even on this day, I suffered a kind of pain that I have never experienced before, a kind of heartbreaking pain! The soul seems to be leaving me. I gave up my proud job and locked myself in my room. I think I will slowly dry up this soulless body in this space where no one knows that no one is coming. Born without love, die without regret!

I care about you too much. Maybe you are too good. I am afraid of losing you because I have no confidence to grasp it.

Maybe you woke me up. You're right. No one will believe me when I propose to you on April Fool's Day. It's not your fault, but I didn't think of it. Just like you said, if you said yes, I was afraid it was true.

I haven't given up yet, I'm still struggling.

I really appreciate your coming. You let me know what love is and how real it is. I no longer believe the rumor that there is no true love in the world. At least we are such an example.

What's the feeling of heartbreaking love? I didn't realize it before, but I felt it this time. This feeling makes me know that pain and beauty coexist, and love is sweet and painful. This is my experience in summing up love.

I like to feel and appreciate such pain, which is a beautiful pain. When we are old, we will dig out our memories and savor these sweet memories in sweetness.

Min Min, come on. Continue our love, use our mutual sincerity to resolve everything brought by time and space, and meet the long journey and painful psychological struggle for our beautiful tomorrow. Don't be afraid to wander around you, and don't lose your beautiful present. Bless us silently for our future reunion.

Dear baby, I still want to tell you what I say from my heart again: please believe in my loyalty and sincerity, I will care for you with all my heart, make you happy forever, solve your unknown puzzles and worries with my sureness in your life, shelter you from the wind and rain with my fairly burly body, and find a solution for you without sadness with my sincere heart.

Dear, don't hesitate to marry me and be my bride. April Fool's Day has passed, and sincere beauty is already around you. Look, I beg you to use my sincere support on my knees. I changed from a powerful general to a humble slave. I want you to be my noble queen, move your hesitant heart with my sincerity, come to my side, be my bride, hold your warm hand and be together forever.

Min Min: Accept it! With my love for you, I will turn into a chariot for thousands of times and plant eternal evergreen for you. Marry me, dear. I am waiting for your answer!

Violent reply is not mainstream and funny.

1, abnormal landlord: through the incident of drinking Hainan mineral water to death, we can see that China's food safety is worrying, mineral water.

Can you still drink to death? Is there no sign of QS?

Violent reply: weak, is QS going to die?

2. abnormal landlord: it's over 40, and there are still many things I don't understand. Whom should I ask to?

Violent reply: Foreign affairs ask Google, internal affairs ask Baidu, and sex asks Tianya!

3. abnormal landlord: which is more cost-effective to raise a dog or a man?

Violent reply: Auntie, even if you can treat men as dogs, do you dare to treat dogs as men?

4. abnormal landlord: a student, with the lowest grade every year, often fights with people, and the teacher wants to give it to the students according to the requirements of the leader.

How to write a beautiful conclusion?

Violent reply: The student has stable grades and strong hands-on ability.

5. Tell me about the 30-minute news broadcast in China.

Violent reply: What's the point? The leaders were very busy in the first ten minutes. Ten minutes, the whole country is very lucky.

Fu. Ten minutes later, people in other countries in the world are living in dire straits.

6. Abnormal landlord: Do you want Chris Lee or Zhang Ziyi?

Violent reply: neither a rooster nor a pheasant.

7. Abnormal landlord: Olympic slogan "One World, One Dream!"

Violent reply: Dear, the essence of mahjong is everywhere. Looking back, it is actually "I want to touch a pipe, not a pipe."

Tube! "

8. Tian Yalou: I always think that scorpion essence is the most beautiful woman in the whole journey to the west, and when scorpion essence is a Tang priest,

When I was forced to go to bed, I couldn't help cheering for Tang Priest: I'll follow, I'll follow! But at the critical moment,

Just then, the hateful Wukong appeared. ...

Tian * Ya replied 12: Alas, if only the lustful Bajie appeared!

Tian * Ya replied 13: Well, Bajie appeared and changed his mind this time. ...

9. Landlord of Tianya: I suspect my wife is having an affair, but I have no proof. ...

Tian * Ya replied: If you can't be, be.

10. Tian * ya landlord: Is our GJ ruled by law or by man?

Tianya sofa: it is not the rule of law, nor the rule of man, but the rule of man, which will remain unchanged for a hundred years in the primary stage. ...

1 1. forum landlord: the damn barber shop cut my head! Let's do some bad things and demand that the greater the damage, the better.

Ok, the quieter the better, because I want to go alone.

Forum basement: Late at night, when the wind is dark and high, quietly and gently, a person hangs at the door of the barber shop.

Mouth.

12. Forum Landlord: Why do children born have the same surname as their fathers?

Forum sofa: Because the money spit out by ATM belongs to the cardholder.

13. Wang married Chen. Please comment in four words.

Forum reply: You are getting better!

14. Forum owner: I have heard a very nice song, but I only remember that the lyrics are "a biscuit is not as thin as a needle", so I want one.

Name!

Forum reply: You know Macau, this is not my real name ...-_-

15. Tian * Yalou Owner: Please describe China National Seismological Station in one sentence.

Tian * Ya replied: Wise after the event, pig head beforehand!

16. Landlord: I haven't eaten for a year, and I'm still alive and well! Mop netizens, you are behind, difficult.

Don't you think it is troublesome to eat three meals a day? Now I only need 10 minutes of sunshine every day.

The sky is full of energy. Well, you are really a group of ordinary people.

Answer: Plants can type. Sweat! ! !

17. Tian Yalou: How does Beijing show that this Olympic Games is a green people's Olympics?

Tianya Sofa: Didn't you invite Nicholas Tse to sing?

18. Don't China, Japan and South Korea have to be hostile to each other, so can't they sit down and talk calmly?

Really?

Sofa: No! Because when Japanese and Japanese talk about speculation, only the topic is about Koreans.

Time; When Japanese and Koreans talk about speculation, only the topic is about Japanese; China people and South Korea.

When people can talk about speculation, only when the topic is Japanese!

19 ...LZ: Have you seen my avatar Niu B?

Sofa: Yes.

20. Landlord: I want to ask my sisters about the things BF bought with his ex-girlfriend, such as rings, necklaces and bracelets.

Students, keep it or throw it away? It's really ... it's expensive to throw away. It's annoying not to throw it

Sofa: Much ado about nothing! Aren't you using her ex-boyfriend?