After the divorce, I lived with my ex-husband, but he was still seeing someone else privately. What should I do?

To tell the truth, after your divorce, you have no right to interfere in his personal behavior.

There are still some unclear places in this, which is worth discussing. Why did your marriage break up? Why didn't you live separately after the divorce? These are all the points we need to know, otherwise I can't help you.

You have to tell me one by one. I might as well tell you the real reason why I divorced him. My husband and I have been married for several years, and a child has been working outside and has some savings. My husband's younger brother was admitted to the university and had no money to go to school. My husband lent him all our savings. I was annoyed at that time. I can't accept it. This day seems to be going on, so I asked him to give it to me. He was sadder than me, so he asked me, do whatever you want. I was angry and divorced. Husband didn't think much, on impulse. Two people went to the Civil Affairs Bureau to get married.

In this way, I dare not go back to my parents' house, because I am afraid that my parents will be very unhappy when they know. My husband is fine, too.

Another point is that I hope he can apologize to me, explain the reasons and want to get back together.

Who knows that not only did he not apologize to me? I really can't stand him bringing another girl home to do anything.

That's good. Let me know what your husband thinks first, shall I? Please wait a moment, I'll be right back.

I came to see her husband to find out about it. Her husband told me that you should stay away from us. Of course, I will give you face. No, let's talk. A lot has happened at home recently.

Before, our family conditions were all ok. Recently, my parents fell ill and spent a lot of money. Recently, my brother was admitted to the university, but he couldn't come up with so much money at once. I am his brother, so I will not help him. Who will help him? Actually, I took out my money and was very unhappy. My wife asked me to explain it to him. I was very upset at once, and I went through the divorce procedure on impulse. In fact, I can't live without him, and he can't live without me. How can I break up? It is out of the question. I brought a girl home on purpose. Actually, she is our colleague. Her husband is very kind to me and has nothing to do with it. I just want to show it to him and see how he reacts.

I want to wait a few days, too. When my anger subsides, I'll apologize to him. I hope he can understand. I'm here to tell you, don't go through such formalities on impulse, for fear that you will have other intentions and take the fake seriously, and you will regret it.

There are precedents for this.

Thanks for reading!

Marriage is a typical intimate relationship. Whether it can last for a long time or not, there is a certain psychological investigation. Let me tell you what psychology says.

I live with my neighbors in the community, and their marriage has a similar experience to yours. But very different from you.

First of all, let me talk about their situation. My neighbor is also an unfaithful married man. Just like what happened to you, that man often turned off his phone and often married a divorced woman and rolled sheets. Fortunately, however, this man doesn't gamble. The starting point of their divorce is that the woman can help the man in his career. In his words, the woman can help him out of poverty. In other words, that man still has a sense of responsibility for his family and has certain responsibilities. In his words, he wants his children to have a good life.

My neighbor, this man, cheated his wife and betrayed his marriage. Everyone should criticize him. However, he has never filed for divorce, and he loves his children very much. His biggest mistake may not be that he doesn't love his old wife. His problem is that he wants to make money, but he chose the wrong method.

His original wife loved him very much and finally chose to forgive him. Now they are trying to make money in various ways. Although they are not rich yet, their marriage is at least saved.

In every marriage, there is a lingering weakness. Take your marriage for example. Your husband is addicted to gambling and has a high sense of responsibility for his family. This persistent weakness often comes from the influence of family background or lack of education. In short, this is a hidden danger in marriage.

But after the marriage began, your husband didn't have enough sense of family responsibility, and you supported the whole family. Your husband's time is not spent running a marriage and taking care of the family. He has more time, and naturally there will be problems. Over time, it is not surprising that families are separated and derailed.

Since, from your point of view, you don't want to die alone, and your ex-husband verbally promised not to contact each other. This shows that he still has feelings for you and is willing to live with you.

But he always secretly contacts other women, and his feelings are always exclusive, and no one can stand it.

First, you should try your best to occupy his time. When you can't get your heart back completely, get it back first. Stay with him all the time, leaving him no time to betray his marriage.

Second, let the husband take on the responsibility of the family. Humans are born with a sense of mission to save the earth. You need to let him find this feeling.

Third, marriage is often not a problem for one person. You should also find out from yourself what your husband can get from other women. You have to make some adjustments yourself.

This question was collected in the morning. Honestly, it's really hard to answer. No matter how you answer, if you don't have personal experience, you are suspected of "standing and talking". I can watch my friends ask so many questions, but I still want to talk about my heart. If not, please ask my friend Han Hai.

I have a very good friend. My ex-husband is a demobilized soldier. He manages the motorcade in a big factory. He has money and water. Although he has been gambling and gambling, his salary is fuel and he doesn't owe foreign debts.

But then the factory became private, and he was fired from the factory because of gambling mistakes. Later, I drove a big car, but I lost my job because I was unreliable, and I was fired for gambling. After three transgressions of five times, no one hired him again, and he became an idle person.

Now, gambling is more convenient. Sometimes I will be away from home for two or three days. Over time, I owed a lot of foreign debts. Sometimes friends are embarrassed and return to the ground.

Friends always want a divorce, but they always put up with it because the children are still young. When the children were admitted to the university, they finally got divorced. After the divorce, the man soon moved in with another woman, because his friend's ex-wife was also good-looking, except gambling, and had a gentle personality.

The following is the key to answering the question.

In the year or two after my friend's divorce, I had a very happy and chic life. I am willing to spend money here or there. I also bought a 50-square-meter cabin (my daughter's name was written on the house, but I gave it to my ex-husband, who was unemployed and had no money and no place to live).

However, two years later, my friends still find it boring. Every time I go home, I feel lonely in an empty house, so I want to find my wife, but where can I find her? As friends, we asked around, but to no avail.

In the past, whenever we talked about her ex-husband, she always said that we were passers-by, and he could stay with whoever he liked, which had nothing to do with me. She finally got rid of the bondage with a happy face.

However, this year, if anyone says her ex-husband in front of her again, she is obviously angry. Angry at her ex-husband living with another woman. As her friend for twenty years, I still know her better. She doesn't want her ex-husband to live with a woman. If her ex-husband really stops gambling, it is not impossible to remarry.

Through the above example, I want to say that your ex-husband, he is such a person, even if he is allowed to live with an unmarried girl now, he will have a third party.

Just like some people like to eat, some people like to wear, and he, like that, is helpless. However, through your expression, you can't stand loneliness. If it were me, I can't stand it either.

Therefore, in enduring a man's infidelity and loneliness, you can only choose one, and it is impossible to change him. Actually, to tell the truth, if I were you, I would choose the man who always thinks about other women.

Because, since you can still let him live with you after the divorce, there must be something you can't live without besides the shortcomings you mentioned above.

Then focus on his good place and continue to live together. The day will come when he can't play. At that time, he will be all yours.

After the divorce, I lived with my ex-husband, but he was still seeing someone else privately. What should I do? After this question, you wrote a long and detailed description, which has made readers understand the embarrassing situation you are in now.

I'll tell you a story that happened in my hometown village. This story is strikingly similar to the experience you described. The first half is exactly as you described, so I will focus on the second half.

The hero of the story is Tao Tao. After the divorce, he lived with her husband again. He found that her husband was still hooking up with the widow, and he was very uncomfortable. He quarreled with her husband and quarreled with him, but after several times, he got used to it and turned a blind eye. Husbands hide everything. Today he sleeps with Tao Tao, and tomorrow he sleeps with the widow. If he has no money, he will ask Tao Tao for it. If Tao Tao doesn't give it, he will threaten not to associate with Tao Tao. Tao Tao wants to give his son a seemingly complete home and is afraid of loneliness, so he can only give in.

Everyone in the village is pointing at Tao Tao behind her back, and Tao Tao's son's attitude towards her has also changed a lot. When Tao Tao just got divorced, her son sympathized with Tao Tao, always chatting with her and always rushing to help her. Later, when he saw Tao Tao and the widow, he looked down on Tao Tao, stopped talking to her and didn't go out to work to make money. He hung around with the village loafers all day, until one day he stabbed the widow after drinking and was sentenced to a heavy sentence.

Before the story is finished, the widow also has a son. She thought that her mother was stabbed because of Tao Tao's husband, so she squatted near Tao Tao's house all day with a kitchen knife, waiting for an opportunity to chop people, scaring Tao Tao's husband away from home and never coming back. At this point, Tao Tao's family broke down. She couldn't stand repeated blows and committed suicide by jumping into the river. After being rescued, she had mental problems again, singing and laughing crazily all day.

This matter is a household name in our village. I wonder how your story will develop next.

Let's analyze it. From what you wrote, you live with your ex-husband for two reasons. One is that you are old and afraid of loneliness and no one to accompany you. The other is that you want to give your son a seemingly complete home.

First, your ex-husband is a person with no sense of responsibility and no moral boundaries. He only takes it and doesn't pay it. Now you can still work to earn money to support him and take care of him in life, but he still doesn't know how to be grateful. If one day you can't move easily, will he stay with you and take care of you? Can he be your supporter?

Second, when your children grow up, they should understand the truth. He certainly won't agree that you lose your dignity and be pointed at in order to maintain a false and complete home. Children should be able to accept the reality when they are older, but they should be more sensible after accepting the reality.

Besides, the world is very big and there are many good men. You haven't tried yet, so how can you be sure that you can't find someone who can walk with you all your life?

Buddha said: all kinds of things in this life are the cause and effect of previous lives. You have met your ex-husband in your life, and you have already suffered his harm to you. It's time to leave him and stay away from him! He looks good, but his skin is nothing more than good. How can he have those thick arms that can be entrusted for life?

Take my advice and stay as far away from him as possible for you not to get hurt again!

To tell the truth, after your divorce, you have no right to interfere in his personal behavior.

There are still some unclear places in this, which is worth discussing. Why did your marriage break up? Why didn't you live separately after the divorce? These are all the points we need to know, otherwise I can't help you.

You have to tell me one by one. I might as well tell you the real reason why I divorced him. My husband and I have been married for several years, and a child has been working outside and has some savings. My husband's younger brother has been admitted to college and has no money to go to school. My husband lent him all our savings. I was annoyed at that time. I can't accept it. It seems that this day can't go on, so I beg him to give it to me. He was sadder than me, so he asked me, do whatever you want. I was angry and divorced. Husband didn't think much, on impulse. Two people went to the Civil Affairs Bureau to get married.

In this way, I dare not go back to my parents' house, because I am afraid that my parents will be very unhappy when they know. My husband is fine, too.

Another point is that I hope he can apologize to me, explain the reasons and want to get back together.

Who knows that not only did he not apologize to me? I really can't stand him bringing another girl home to do anything.

That's good. Let me know what your husband thinks first, shall I? Please wait a moment, I'll be right back.

I came to see her husband to find out about it. Her husband told me that you should stay away from us. Of course, I will give you face. No, let's talk. A lot has happened at home recently.

Before, our family conditions were all ok. Recently, my parents fell ill and spent a lot of money. Recently, my brother was admitted to the university, but he couldn't come up with so much money at once. I am his brother, so I will not help him. Who will help him? Actually, I took out my money and was very unhappy. My wife asked me to explain it to him. I was very upset at once, and I went through the divorce procedure on impulse. In fact, I can't live without him, and he can't live without me. How can I break up? It is out of the question. I brought a girl home on purpose. Actually, she is our colleague. Her husband is very kind to me and has nothing to do with it. I just want to show it to him and see how he reacts.

I want to wait a few days, too. When my anger subsides, I'll apologize to him. I hope he can understand. I'm here to tell you, don't go through such formalities on impulse, for fear that you will have other intentions and take the fake seriously, and you will regret it.

There are precedents for this.

Divorce is not only a legal judgment, but also a break with the lost marriage. From now on, you should be independent ideologically, emotionally and economically, and don't depend on each other.

First, the end is the end. Now that you have successfully taken the first step (divorce), why go back to the endless cycle of self-harm? Bound by marriage, your ex-husband can't be loyal to marriage and family, and you expect him to turn over a new leaf after divorce? A bit of a fantasy!

Second, this behavior of living together again after divorce will only make your ex-husband feel that you can't live without him. Compromise and compromise will not only bring you loss of dignity, but also make you suffer in unequal feelings and gradually become a poor dissatisfied wife.

Third, a seemingly complete family is actually meaningless. Remember that broken strings are sustainable, and the heart is the hardest to stay. You must have a big child at your age, right? You have to believe that every child does not want his mother to be unhappy; Every child doesn't want his mother to be like a dissatisfied housewife, so you make it clear to the child that no matter whether the parents' marriage exists or not, the child will always be the deepest concern and love of the parents, and this will not change.

How should you face the present predicament? First, one of you must leave this home. Divorce means that everything has nothing to do with each other in the future. From then on, the bridge will return to the bridge and the road will return to the road.

If you don't want to, the best way is to make yourself wonderful.

1, ask three or two friends to travel after work, try not to stay at home and get closer to nature. When you are wandering in the endless prairie or facing the magnificent sea, the feeling of being suddenly enlightened will make you let go of many entanglements under your heart.

2, get busy, work not only enriches your life, but also gives you more income.

3. The most effective way to relieve depression is to exercise and get yourself moving! Health and beauty will follow.

4. If you have any hobbies, you'd better use this time to get back to yourself and do what you like!

The way to overcome loneliness is to make yourself strong inside. Imagine a person with a strong heart, full of energy and light. Who wouldn't like it? !

Believe in yourself, everything will only get better and better!