Tell me about the feeling that a person has changed (you have become a new self)

Have you ever had such an experience: at an unexpected moment in your life, you suddenly found yourself not who you used to be? At some point, we find that we have more potential than we knew before, and we have some strengths and advantages that we don't know. Of course, at some point, we will find that we have some dark side beyond imagination.

Re-understanding yourself is one of the most surprising things in life. For those who feel confused in life, I always tell them that you don't know yourself enough. You need to let yourself experience more people and situations with full and infinite curiosity, and in the process, observe, examine, understand and * * * love yourself like a stranger.

Today, we want to share with you some stories that have changed our lives through our new understanding of ourselves, hoping to give you some inspiration.

0 1.

"You are in poor health and need protection."

I used to be a thin and pale girl. When I was a child, my parents told me that girls need protection, especially you. Your health is not good. They always dress me in beautiful skirts and small leather shoes. But these clothes are uncomfortable. As a little lady in my parents' mouth, there are always people to pick me up and drop me off, and I have learned to sit or stand quietly, let alone exercise and even walk very little.

Growing up like this, I often feel that I can't do anything. I have to work hard to participate in the internship? Go to stay up late to study for the exam? Traveling abroad alone? Join a speech club? Running for student union? I always thought that it was too dangerous and difficult for me to do it.

When I was in college, I often went to see a boy play tennis because I liked him. On the tennis court, there are girls from our class playing together. I watched them running and jumping on the court in plain sportswear, sometimes falling to the ground, with sweat on their faces, but always full of energetic smiles. When watching them play ball, I suddenly feel that they seem to live more freely and energetically than I do, and gradually I have envy and yearning in my heart.

Encouraged by the person I like, I also began to learn to play volleyball. At first, I felt awkward and uncomfortable, because I always felt that I was in poor health and might not be able to bear such exercise. But unexpectedly, I not only fell in love with volleyball, but also became the main force of the university team. In the process, I became another person.

I cut off my waist-length hair, and the refreshing short hair is easy to take care of. I fell in love with hiking, mountain climbing and rock climbing. I like the process of conquering challenges by myself in these sports. I joined the debate club, fought with my friends and ran for the president of our college's student union. I become lively and love to laugh. When I am with my friends, we make noise and laugh. I even took part in a charity education program and stayed in Africa for two months.

For the first time, who said that girls need protection from others? Who says girls must be quiet and obedient? Because of this idea, I almost missed all the wonderful life.

Sometimes I think of my poor, thin and quiet self in the past and tell her in my heart that I have become a person beyond your imagination. Fortunately, now we live bravely and freely.

02.

"You are a man and a woman, you should feel inferior."

I have been raised since I was a child, and I have always felt very happy. It was not until the fifth and sixth grade of primary school that I found myself different from those beautiful little girls in my class. I am taller and stronger than them. In junior high school, I was also one of the tallest people in my class, and all the boys sat next to me.

Slowly, I received more and more comments from people around me. Some friends of my mother told me and my mother that you have to let your daughter lose weight. She doesn't look like a girl at all How can I find a partner? Boys in my class will laugh at me and say that I am a "monster" and one of the ugliest girls in my class. I became very inferior, as if I had never been happy again.

I tried many ways to lose weight, but I always failed. My five senses are not exquisite enough. More importantly, I don't like those things called girls. I always feel that "I" should not be like that. All this makes me very confused.

After I went to London, my life difficulties were alleviated. There are all kinds of weirdos in London. Girls, we Asians are really not the only ones who like that "white, thin and young" look. I also quickly discovered my own advantages. I am very clever. After finishing my master's degree, I began to work in an American Internet giant company. Work makes me full of confidence and makes me understand that I am excellent.

I met my husband at work. He is abc. When he pursued me, he told me that you were sexy. This is an evaluation that I never thought I could have. He let me know that I am an attractive woman when I am comfortable being myself, pursuing my career and spending every day confidently.

I still wear neutral clothes, but I definitely think I am a very beautiful woman. This is my aesthetic, and this is what I think I look most beautiful.

03.

"You are a child, and parents don't need to respect you."

I have a good relationship with my parents since I was a child, and my family is very good. My parents always tell me that it is not too difficult to be around them. After graduating from college, I went to a leisure job arranged by my parents in my hometown. My parents are in charge of everything, and my salary is only a small part of my pocket money, so my life is very comfortable.

But gradually, I found the drawback of this life, that is, my parents refused to communicate with me in an equal manner. For example, they don't let me participate in the discussion of "big things" at home, such as buying a car and decorating, and don't let me express my views on some social news. When I disagree with them in choosing a job and choosing a spouse, they will tell me "what does your child know" and then ask me to "obey".

This kind of communication makes me feel depressed. I have a good friend who told me that parents, like everyone else, should not respect you by nature. If you want others to respect you, you must try to prove yourself.

So I spent a month looking for a job, a roommate and a house, resigned in lightning and came to Shanghai alone. My parents were very angry and decided to "cut me off" financially. Life far from home is more difficult than I expected, but it also makes me find that I can bear these pressures, grievances and difficulties, and I can obviously feel that I have matured rapidly in this process.

Two years later, I was promoted to the small backbone of the department. I talked to my parents with a mature attitude and invited them to see my life in Shanghai. I still remember that year, I went to the airport, took them to the subway, visited the Bund and ate Spanish food, so that they could see that I could really live independently. They are both lost and gratified.

Now my mother will talk to me about family planning and ask my opinion. When there are differences, they no longer suppress me blindly, but communicate with me and analyze together. This is because I have proved that I am an independent adult, with my own thoughts, able to make decisions and responsible for my own life.

04.

"I have been a full-time wife for 9 years and have long been out of touch with society."

When I was 30, I had a son. At that time, her husband was very busy at work, and both parents could not come to help for various reasons. In order to better raise children, I chose to leave the workplace and become a full-time wife.

Being a full-time wife is really busy, not what everyone thinks. Being a full-time wife for 9 years, every day is like a war. Unconsciously, my son is 9 years old and will soon be in the fourth grade of primary school. Husband's career is developing well. I found an aunt and a driver at home, and I was at leisure at once.

After leisure, I found that my former friends were developing very well. Some people become management in enterprises, and some people run their own small companies stably. I used to be a middle-level manager in the company, and my working ability was affirmed by my boss, which gave me many opportunities for exercise and promotion. But now I am faced with the confusion of life: when my family no longer needs me to be a full-time wife, where can my value be?

During that time, I was depressed and it was difficult to find a job. No one wants a 39-year-old employee who has been unemployed for nearly ten years. But I think even if everyone gives up on me, I can't give up on myself.

Now I am a counselor. I obtained the national psychological consultant license and studied the master's course of psychological counseling in AOL for two years. I write my own official WeChat account and have a small consulting studio. More than 20 tourists come to see me every week.

I love my present job very much, especially helping young girls make the right choices in life. At the same time, keep learning and enrich yourself. I can feel that this is a new stage in my life. I am lucky to find my place in the workplace again. People still have to make their own contributions to society, but at the same time I have not given up my love for children. I feel very happy now.

05.

"Aesthetics is just a little girl's game."

I studied econometrics in college, and later I studied for a master's degree in econometrics abroad. My parents hope that I can find a job in the financial industry after graduation.

In fact, I have always liked humanities and arts, but my parents think that these things can't create value. Engaging in finance is their career path to success.

I have a hobby, which is to help people around me match clothes. I think clothing collocation is also an art. Every time I go shopping with my friends to choose clothes, I find the most suitable style for them, and I feel a sense of accomplishment when I see their satisfied smiles.

After graduation, I did enter a good financial institution, but I always felt that my work was boring, lacking motivation and painful. Finally, I suppressed it for a long time.

After discovering that I was at risk of depression, I decided to resign. I think I'll still work in my field of interest.

So I first work as a buyer in a company to give full play to my aesthetic ability of fashion. Later, I simply started a company, recruiting and training clothing collocators, helping users choose their own styles, providing matching services, and having my own e-commerce to let users buy their favorite clothes.

Now the company has more than 30 employees. I feel very proud every time I receive praise and thanks from users. Clothing matching service can enhance users' image and aesthetics, and bring happiness to users. I am convinced that what I am doing now, if it can be developed on a large scale, will contribute as much to this society as finance.

In the future, I also hope to make money by aesthetics and bring beauty and happiness to more people.

Even in the relatively open era, there are still many women facing the gender dilemma, and there are still many people who label women according to their figure and appearance. There are always some people who think that women should pursue stability, love each other and educate their children.

No matter whether we followed these stereotypes in the past or not, we always have the strength and opportunity to redefine ourselves, adjust the direction of life, construct the female image in our hearts, explore the aesthetic style that suits us, and choose the career and life we love.

This is a very difficult road, but when you are free to be yourself, you will find that everything is worthwhile.