Is "love of beauty" just "smelly beauty"? "Smelly Beauty" is not good?

I am a typical post-80s generation. As far as the love of beauty is concerned, the education I have received since childhood is "love of beauty" or "smelly beauty", and "smelly beauty" is not good.

There was basically no education about aesthetic education when I was a child. Why? Because my first teacher, my mother, had hardly received any aesthetic education.

My mother, like most rural mothers in the 1950s, has the same iron waist and body as the "iron girl" in Dazhai, both in terms of aesthetics and role models. Now, if you look at the propaganda pictures at that time, you will find that the girls at that time were all May 4th youths with red cheeks and good health, and they were all proud of not losing to men when they worked in the village. If a girl is too delicate to go to the hall or the kitchen, she will be looked down upon, and her husband-in-law will not like to propose marriage, fearing that it will be difficult to have children.

My mother's idol is really an iron girl, a typical female man with great strength, good and fast work, and a small expert in labor. Wearing blue clothes all day, walking around like a tiger, working well, eating a lot, and having a big waist.

Mom's generation, a girl who grew up with red socialist seedlings, basically doesn't talk about beauty and doesn't spread beauty. A dream of red mansions, Tang poems and the like are all seeds of capitalism and products of private cultivation. Everyone is afraid to read it, let alone spread it privately. If they peek in private, they will be criticized.

Once, my mother and I went to Gongwangfu to see an exhibition. Seeing porcelain, we said that these things are really beautiful. There were two bold bottles in your grandmother's house before, both of which were smashed. If you leave it until now, it is estimated that it will be very valuable. What I want to see is "Tunnel Warfare" and "Sparkling Red Star", and my grandparents often refuse to watch it in the name of having a job at home. Mom said that at that time, they didn't want to read books and watch movies. Most old people didn't know whether they were beautiful or not, so their children didn't have any beautiful education at all.

When my mother got married and raised children, she also worked in the loess every day, and there were almost no channels and money to cultivate aesthetic feeling. As a child of my mother, I received little education about beauty from my mother.

Basically, my own understanding of beauty is linked to my little aunt. Whether I need some early education, my mother read my aunt's Chinese textbook, taught me to recite several Tang poems, or my understanding of beauty in life is related to my aunt.

I remember when I was six or seven years old, my little aunt happened to be a girl of thirteen or fourteen, and she began to know that she loved beauty. She bought violet powder or something, and I would secretly pat her face. I still remember that it was a round paper box with a layer of paper around it. I punched holes in the paper box with a needle, took out the powder with a puff and threw it in my face. Then I stole a small piece of red paper from the couplets, moistened my lips, and bit the red paper on my lips to color them. Then I begged menstruation to stroke her eyebrows with the carbon color of the burnt matchbox, and sat down beside her, waiting for her to hit her face with various procedures, and gradually realized it.

After my little aunt finished her work, I looked in the mirror and felt like a little fairy. I went home happily to present a treasure to my mother, and was called: Your face is as white as a white-faced wolf, and the old pumpkin is frosted? Where are the greedy children? Then wash it in a basin, and then a basin of water is milky white, just like the water used by maids in Epang Palace to wash rouge gouache.

My mother warned me that it is not good to brag. Look at your big cousin and second cousin who never brag. People don't even wear cream. How well they study! Smelly what? I had to answer my mother painfully, still a little unconvinced: my little aunt is really beautiful.

Slowly, I was really brainwashed by my mother, and I feel more and more that I love beauty or not, and being beautiful is not important. I began to accept my heart since I was a child, and I actually put my mind on reading extra-curricular books, such as Hu Jiajiang, Yang Jiajiang, Romance of the Gods, Romance of Sui and Tang Dynasties and so on.

As a result, girls have no gender when they reach junior high school. I wear the May 4th youth hair cut by my mother and an old jacket that my uncle doesn't wear. On the first day, because the clothes were like boys and the names were like boys, I was arranged to carry water with boys. In the first week, when I was standing in front of the class and watching the sweeping class, I was called "buddy" by the boy on his shoulder. Ah, talking too much is all tears. At least I'm a late bloomer and I don't think there's anything wrong with it.

When I entered junior high school, it happened that I was just beginning to develop. Suddenly, I can eat well and grow up in Pang Hu. At this time, my parents always smile and watch me eat, and never stop me: if my daughter eats, she will grow stronger if she eats too much. With such doting and encouragement, I finally ate myself into 120 Jin of chubby paper.

Later, I didn't know how fat destroyed everything until I loved beauty as an adult. Looking back now, I really hope my mother can stop me and let me eat less and pay attention to my body shape. Tell me it's really not fat, beautiful and healthy. If my mother had warned me to pay attention to the beauty of my body at that time, I wouldn't have been deformed on the road of losing weight for so many years.

When I arrived at the university, my mother finally breathed a sigh of relief, and I was also relieved to see my chubby daughter combing the back of the May 4th youth. I know my mother finally doesn't have to worry about it: puppy love in high school (my mother has a foresight, which boy will like tomboy, and I won't like such a girl myself). My mother generously took out 500 yuan and said, Come on, go to the shopping mall in the city and choose some clothes you like.

(The May 4th youth portrait is not the following one, but this one and this ~ ~ family's short hair style are very good. )

(That's it ~ ~ Besides, I'm bigger and fatter than Jingjing's face. Please help yourself to imagine. )

So, I took the money and ran to the mall in the city center. As a result, I found myself at a loss, unable to see good or bad, unable to express my opinions, unable to buy things with money, unable to know what clothes I am suitable for wearing, and unable to know what is good or not. Finally, it was my youngest son, Bai Mo, who helped me choose some clothes and happily started my college trip.

When I arrived at the university, my aesthetic problems also stood out. When I am with the girls in the dormitory, I never have my own aesthetics. Whether it is buying clothes or designing a dormitory cultural festival, I can't say anything about aesthetics.

Then when I buy clothes for myself, I'm always afraid that I'm small, and I'm deliberately choosy about myself. The more you dress up, the less gender you have. The more you dress up, the more you look like a tomboy. Fortunately, my hair was longer then. Well, yes, it looks like a small version with long hair. Just sauce ~ ~ ~ ~

Stepping into social work, there is still no aesthetics. Like the landlord's children, just after a little spare money, they greet themselves with various styles and possible strange clothes, and throw them away if they are not suitable. All kinds of visits to Taobao, Vipshop, shopping malls, just buying clothes, have tried many failures and spent a lot of money. I finally bought my heart from slow buy. After hitting the wall many times, I finally found my own style. Only I know the hardships along the way.

This is a post-80s self-reflection on beauty. All tears.

I don't know how old you are. What is your aesthetic education like? Let's talk about it.

(All pictures are quoted from the Internet, thanks to the original author)