Oh my God! My clothes have lost weight again - Speechless classic quotes

When I take off my clothes, I am a beast; when I put on clothes, I am a beast!

"Dear, I... I'm pregnant... for three months, but don't worry, it's not yours, and you are not responsible..."

We had a little disagreement: She I hope I can turn dirt into gold. I hope she sees gold as dirt.

Studying Chinese for 10 years is not as good as chatting on QQ for half a year.

I was lazy in bed in the morning, so I took out 6 coins from my pocket: If all six are heads, I will go to class! After thinking for a long time, I decided not to take the risk...

I bought a Western Zhou clay pot for 80,000 yuan. Yesterday I went to the "Treasure Appraisal" column for appraisal. The expert said seriously: " This is from the Western Zhou Dynasty? This is from last week! ”

I can tolerate fake figures, fake faces, fake breasts, and fake buttocks! ! ! But I just don’t tolerate money! ! ! !

A gentleman pretends to be dead to be a confidant, and a woman undergoes plastic surgery to please someone who pleases her.

Don’t wait until everyone says you are ugly to find out that you are really ugly.

Marriage notice: The requirements are as follows, A is alive and B is female.

Give me some sunshine and I will rot.

Only by eating appropriately can you have the strength to lose weight.

Shake and shake until you reach Naihe Bridge.

Question: What do you like about me? Answer: I like you to stay away from me!

Come back quickly, I can’t fool you!

Life is like Song Zude’s mouth, you never know who will be unlucky next

When you fall, get up and cry again

It is difficult in the world Self-extraction includes not only teeth but also love.

A dinosaur went to the toilet when passing by Xi'an Jiaotong University. When she came out, she sobbed: "555, I finally don't have to worry about getting married in this life..."

Life is easy. Life is easy. Life is not easy.

Asking you how sad you can be is like a group of eunuchs going to a brothel...

When we were young, we often made faces in the mirror; when we are old, the mirror is even. .

When problems arise, first look for the cause within yourself. Don’t blame the earth’s lack of gravity for constipation.

Make a decision with a pat on your head, make a promise with a pat on your chest, and leave with a pat on your butt.

We are moving too fast, and our souls can’t keep up...

Don’t be like the people on earth.

If you go out to hang out, your wife will have to change sooner or later!

When I was a child, I thought I could save the whole world when I grew up. But when I grew up, I realized that the whole world could not save me...

Even if I am a toad, I will definitely Don't marry your mother.

Why sleep for a long time when you are alive? You will sleep forever after death...

A tailor who does not want to be a cook is not a good driver.

I am a little short-sighted, but not lacking; I have a good temper, but not without it!

Instead of planting grass for people to lie on, why not plant cactus instead!

The difference between humans and pigs is that pigs are always pigs, while humans are sometimes not humans!

It turns out that as long as people are separated, no matter how familiar they were, they will gradually become alienated.

Go to the pizza shop and get pizza! The waiter asked me if I wanted it cut into 8 pieces or 12 pieces? I thought about it and said: Let’s go with 8 yuan! 12 yuan is too much to finish!

When a man deceives a woman, it is called flirting; when a woman deceives a man, it is called seduction; when men and women deceive each other, it is called love.

zf is thinking about how to reasonably tax, the boss is thinking about how to reasonably avoid taxes, and I am thinking about how to reasonably sleep more!

Time is for wandering, the body is for loving, life is for forgetting, and the soul is for singing.

Love is like a ghost, many people believe it but few people see it

How far is eternity? Just get as far away from me as you kid!

I encountered a writer’s signature: it may seem like it, but it may not necessarily be the case. I came across a GG signature: Give me a girl and I can create a nation.

Ever since I turned into shit, no one has stepped on me anymore.

I want to fall in love early, but it’s too late...

Oh my God! My clothes are slimming again.

The important task of the post-80s generation is to create the post-08 generation.

Others have a background, but I only have a back view~~.

Gold always shines, but when the ground is full of gold, I don’t know which one I am.

It is very important to remind everyone to learn to repair their own notebooks! There once was a man who couldn't repair his own notebook... everyone knows what happened next.

I am not a fortune teller in the square, and I can’t talk as much as you like to hear.

It’s not that the ending of the story is not good enough, but that we demand too much from the story!

Flowers often belong not to the people who appreciate them, but to the cow dung.

The difference between a lie and an oath is: one is taken seriously by the listener, and the other is taken seriously by the teller.

Being single is not difficult. What is difficult is dealing with those people who try their best to make you end your singlehood.

Sometimes, it’s not that the other person doesn’t care about you, but that you take the other person too seriously.

Even if you believe, there is a lie hidden in the middle.

Real good friends don’t have endless topics to talk about when they are together, but when they are together, they won’t feel embarrassed even if they don’t talk.

There is no other half with 100 points, only two people with 50 points!

Usually the person who is willing to stay and argue with you is the one who truly loves you!

There is no rehearsal in life, every day is a live broadcast; not only the ratings are low, but the salary is not high.

Problems that can be solved with money are not problems, but the problem is that I am poor.

Only women and heroes have trouble, only wives and jobs are hard to find.

After meeting me, you will suddenly realize - ah, it turns out that being handsome can be so specific!

Asked a colleague: "Did you buy PetroChina?" The colleague said: "Bah! You just bought PetroChina. Your whole family bought PetroChina and Sinopec!"

< p> I ordered two dishes from the canteen at noon. After eating the first one, I was shocked, "Is there any more unpalatable dish in the world than this?" After eating the second one, I cried, "There really is."

When the mouse shows its power, everyone becomes a sick cat.

If you are still young after visiting brothels, please use Huiren Shenbao.

Listen to your words and save me ten books!

You make your debut at the age of 0, and you make progress every day at the age of 10. At the age of 20, you have lofty ideals; at the age of 30, you work hard to achieve your goals. The 40-year-old is basically oriented, the 50-year-old is popular everywhere. Play mahjong when you are 60 years old, and wander around when you are 70 years old. The 80-year-old Lala lives at home, and the 90-year-old hangs it on the wall! Oh my gosh! My clothes have lost weight again - classic funny story

How can I have the energy to lose weight if I don’t eat enough?

Others have a background, but I only have a back view.

There is no rehearsal in life, every day is a live broadcast; not only the ratings are low, but the salary is not high.

Born, easy. Life is easy. Life is not easy

People who are too rational will definitely miss the opportunity to go astray and the beautiful scenery brought by mistakes along the way.

Listen to your words and hang yourself on the southeast branch.

Even if comrades have not yet worked hard, the revolution must still succeed.

I don’t know how to play chess, calligraphy and painting, but I feel tired from doing laundry and cooking.

If someone doesn’t offend me, I won’t offend anyone; if someone offends me, I’ll be polite; if someone offends me again, I’ll give him a shot; if someone offends me again, I’ll eliminate the root cause

A person’s life is It's like taking a shit. Sometimes you have tried very hard but all that comes out is just a fart.

If eating more fish can nourish the brain and make people smarter, then I have to eat at least a pair of whales.

If you cannot put on a wedding dress for the woman you love, please stop unbuttoning her clothes.

I will still believe in love, but I will no longer believe that love can last forever.

I have been parasitic in your world for one more day, and even my own shadow can no longer be seen

I loved your specialness deeply, so I never regret that you have left far away

p>

After he turned around, his tears kept flowing. Although his heart ached, he could only say that after separation, he would go far away

Don’t think you can walk away easily. When I came back, my sister was not so broad-minded.

If you have a shoe-pad face, don’t blame others for stepping on you.

If beauty is a letter of recommendation, then kindness is a credit card!

The tongue outlasts the teeth, and the software outlasts the hardware.

Protect yourself, love others, and please don’t come out in the middle of the night to scare people.

Flowers often belong not to the people who appreciate them, but to the cow dung.

Apart from teeth, there is also love that is difficult to extricate oneself from in the world.

Gold always shines, but when the ground is full of gold, I don’t know which one I am.

If you are still young after visiting brothels, please use Huiren Shenbao.

Oh my God! My clothes are slimming again.

Listen to your words and save me ten books

I want to fall in love early, but it’s too late

I am a little short-sighted, but not lacking; I have a bad temper Nice but not nothing!

There are no ifs in life, only consequences and results.

If beauty is a letter of recommendation, then kindness is a credit card!

The tongue lasts longer than the teeth, and the software lasts longer than the hardware.

Playing with feelings? I will make you cry rhythmically.

When I hear a certain name and think of certain things, this city is so quiet that my heart trembles. Speechless classic quotations

1. We are moving too fast, and our souls cannot keep up...

2. Listen to your words and save me ten books!

3. We had a little disagreement: she wanted me to turn dirt into gold, and I wanted her to treat gold like dirt.

4. Studying Chinese for 10 years is not as good as chatting on QQ for half a year.

5. Marriage notice: The requirements are as follows, A is alive and B is female.

6. A gentleman pretends to be dead to be a confidant, and a woman undergoes plastic surgery to please someone.

7. Don’t be like the people on Earth.

8. Come back quickly, I can’t fool you!

9. Life is like Song Zude’s mouth, you never know who will be unlucky next

10. If you fall, get up and cry again

11. Apart from teeth, there is also love that is difficult to extricate oneself from in the world.

12. A dinosaur went to the toilet when passing by Xi'an Jiaotong University. When she came out, she sobbed: "555, I finally have no worries about getting married in this life..."

13. Life is easy. Life is easy. Life is not easy.

14. Asking you how sad you can be is like a group of eunuchs going to a brothel...

15. When we are young, we often make faces in the mirror; when we are old, The mirror is even.

16. When problems arise, first look for the cause within yourself. Don’t blame the earth’s lack of gravity for constipation.

17. Make decisions with a pat on your head, make promises with a pat on your chest, and leave with a pat on the back.

18. If you go out to hang out, your wife will have to change sooner or later!

19. When I was a child, I thought I could save the whole world when I grew up. When I grew up, I realized that the whole world could not save me...

20. Even if I am a toad , I will never marry a female toad.

21. Why sleep for a long time while alive? You will sleep forever after death...

22. A tailor who does not want to be a cook is not a good driver

23. Travel all over the world If the brothel people are not old, please use Huiren Shenbao.

24. Make your debut at the age of 0, and make progress every day at the age of 10. At the age of 20, you have lofty ideals; at the age of 30, you work hard to achieve your goals. The 40-year-old is basically oriented, the 50-year-old is popular everywhere. Play mahjong when you are 60 years old, and wander around when you are 70 years old.

The 80-year-old Lala lives at home, and the 90-year-old hangs it on the wall!

25. When I take off my clothes, I am a beast; when I put on clothes, I am a beast!

26. "Dear, I...I'm pregnant...three months ago, but don't worry, it's not yours, and you don't have to be responsible..."

27. Lazy bed in the morning , then he took out 6 coins from his pocket: If all six are heads, I will go to class! After thinking about it for a long time, I decided not to take the risk...

28. I bought a Western Zhou clay pot for 80,000 yuan. Yesterday I went to the "Treasure Appraisal" column for appraisal. The expert said seriously : "Where is this from the Western Zhou Dynasty? This is from last week!"

29. I can tolerate fake figures, fake faces, fake breasts, and fake buttocks! ! ! But I just don’t tolerate money! ! ! !

30. Don’t wait until everyone says you are ugly to find out that you are really ugly.

31. Give me some sunshine and I will rot.

32. Eat appropriately to have the strength to lose weight.

33. Shake and shake until you reach Naihe Bridge.

34. Question: What do you like about me? Answer: I like you to stay away from me! The most speechless classic quotes on the Internet

1. When we are young, we often make faces in the mirror; when we are old, the mirror is even.

2. When problems arise, first look for the cause within yourself. Don’t blame the earth’s lack of gravity for constipation.

3. We move too fast, and our souls can’t keep up.

4. Don’t be like the people on earth.

5. If you go out to hang out, your wife will have to change sooner or later!

6. When I was a child, I thought I could save the whole world when I grew up, but when I grew up, I realized that the whole world could not save me.

7. Even if I were a toad, I would never marry a female toad.

8. A tailor who doesn’t want to be a cook is not a good driver.

9. I am a little narrow-minded, but not lacking; I have a good temper, but not without it!

10. Instead of planting grass for people to lie on, why not plant cactus instead!

11. The difference between humans and pigs is that pigs are always pigs, while humans are sometimes not humans!

12. As long as people are separated, no matter how familiar they are, they will gradually become alienated.

13. Go to the pizza shop to buy pizza! The waiter asked me if I wanted it cut into 8 pieces or 12 pieces? I thought about it and said: Let’s go for 8 yuan! 12 yuan is too much to finish!

14. When a man deceives a woman, it is called teasing; when a woman deceives a man, it is called seduction; when men and women deceive each other, it is called love.

15. Thinking about how to reasonably collect taxes, my boss thinks about how to reasonably avoid taxes, and I think about how to reasonably sleep more!

16. Time is for wandering, the body is for loving, life is for forgetting, and the soul is for singing.

17. How far is forever? Just get as far away from me as you kid!

18. Encountering a writer’s signature: It may seem like it, but it may not necessarily be the case. I came across a GG signature: Give me a girl and I can create a nation.

19. Ever since I turned into shit, no one has stepped on me anymore.

20. I want to fall in love early, but it’s too late.

21. Oh my God! My clothes are slimming again.

22. The important task of the post-80s generation is to create the post-08 generation.

23. Gold always shines, but when the ground is full of gold, I don’t know which one I am.

24. It is very important to remind everyone to learn to repair their own notebooks! Once upon a time, there was a man who couldn't repair his own notebook... everyone knows what happened next.

25. I am not a fortune teller in the square, and I can’t talk as much as you like to hear.

26. It’s not that the ending of the story is not good enough, but that we demand too much from the story!

27. The difference between a lie and an oath is: one is taken seriously by the listener, and the other is taken seriously by the teller.

28. Being single is not difficult. What is difficult is dealing with those people who try their best to make you end your singlehood.

29. Even if you believe, there is a lie hidden in the middle.

30. Real good friends do not mean that they have endless topics to talk about when they are together, but that when they are together, they will not feel embarrassed even if they do not talk.

31. There is no other half with 100 points, only two people with 50 points!

32. Usually the person who is willing to stay and argue with you is the one who truly loves you!

33. Problems that can be solved with money are not problems, but the problem is that I am poor.