Happy hour campus joke

Most jokes reveal absurd phenomena in life, which are ironic and entertaining. There are different tastes. I hope you will like it. Let's have a good laugh!

Happy event campus joke 1 1) "One day in Chinese class, the teacher surprised Xiao Ming with a sentence. Xiaoming stood up and said loudly, I saw a pile of cow dung on my way to school, and I ate a catty. " The teacher was shocked and said, "massive, massive."

2) Skipping classes at university and going out to meet people at the station without asking the teacher for leave. About ten minutes after class, I sent a short message to my roommate in fear: "Did the teacher call the roll?" The roommate replied, "No roll call." I was very happy. Then another short message from my roommate came: "But the teacher asked you to do the questions on the blackboard."

3) In the swimming class, the teacher said, "All of us are going into the water today." They said together, "I haven't learned from the teacher yet, so can I not go on?" The teacher said, "Those who don't go into the water will be deleted from the roster." The classmate said, "I crossed out the household registration book when I got into the water!" " "

4) One day, Joe walked into the classroom, and all his hair stood upright. The teacher asked what was going on. Joe said: this is the reaction of hair gel. The next day, Joe walked into the classroom logically, and the teacher asked. Joe said, this is my father's reaction to hair gel.

5) A female college student came to the professor's room: "Please, teacher, let me pass this exam. I will do anything to pass the exam! " The professor stared at the girl's eyes: "Do you really want to do anything?" "Yes ... yes ..." The professor leaned into the female student's ear and whispered, "Please, dare to learn quickly!"

6) Two roommates stink worse than their feet at the door of the dormitory. One of them said, I took off my shoes and everyone here ran away. Another sneer, my shoes are off, and no one can run away here.

Happy event Campus Joke 2 1) Up to now, students who didn't do their homework during the National Day will certainly make great achievements. Because they are more calm and calm than the average person, and their hearts are quiet!

2) I'm secretly playing with my mobile phone, so I'll inform the boys behind me, and you can tell me when the teacher comes (there is glass at the back door, so you can see the teacher passing by). As a result, in less than two minutes, Zhong kicked my stool hard. Because it was so sudden, I was so anxious that I didn't see the teacher enter the classroom for a long time. I asked him, where is the teacher? He said: Oh. No, I'm rehearsing. I thought at that time: He is a wonderful flower. ...

3) In the photography class, the teacher said, "Students, it is not a person with a good figure who can take good-looking photos. As long as you can pose and choose the right background, you will be able to take good-looking photos. " "Really?" "I'm not talking to you, Fat Paper!"

Happy event campus joke 3 1) It is said that a female intern teacher came to our school before, and she was so nervous when she went to the podium for the first time. First, I took the mobile phone cleaner blackboard by mistake to stabilize my mood, and I was even more nervous when I was embarrassed! Then she began to introduce herself. "Hello, my name is Li. From now on, you can call me Miss Wang. I'm not much older than you, so you can call me Big Sister or Big Brother ... "At that time, many leaders came to attend the class, and all the teachers and students in the school laughed! Later, it was widely circulated in our school and regarded as a classic of self-introduction!

2) In high school, I had a crush on a girl in my class ... At that time, I still had to give my weekly diary to my Chinese teacher, and once I wrote something I wanted to say to that girl. As a result, the teacher said that I should write out my true feelings and read them in class. I am proud that she should be able to understand my thoughts. Looking back, I found that she had slept for a class. ...

Teacher: Did you do all these homework by yourself? Student: No, my father helped me do it. Teacher: Go back and tell your father to make up lessons on Sunday.

4) In a Chinese class, the teacher asked the knowledgeable person: Can you explain the meaning of' major'? Sure！ Little intellectuals are very proud. He said: specialty is specialty. The teacher said: Yes, can you make sentences with it now? Sure！ Little intellectuals are very proud. He said, my uncle's hair and nails are great!

5) The teacher asked Xiaoming, "Why did you pour a basin of water on Xiao Qiang's head?" Xiao Ming replied, "He dried his clothes first and then wrung them out, and he also dripped water on my head." "Is it worth getting back at him like this?" "This is revenge? My father said that the grace of dripping water should be rewarded by spring water! "

Happy event campus joke 4 1. When the bell rang, the teacher said angrily, "Why do you go to the canteen like hungry ghosts after class?" I am late. There is no food in the canteen? Nobody is allowed to run today. "

The students looked at the teacher and shouted, "teacher, please run slowly." You haven't called to stand up after class! " "

When I failed in the exam, I apologized to the teacher (female): "I'm sorry, I was wrong."

The teacher snorted: "What's wrong with you? You are absolutely right. How can you be wrong! "

3. A boy is in a daze in class. The teacher asked, "What are you thinking? Don't concentrate on listening in class. "

The boy replied, "I miss you."

The teacher stayed for a while and replied shyly, "You are good or bad!" "

4. Remember that there is chemistry class in junior high school. No matter what the teacher does, the class is still noisy. At this time, I heard the chemistry teacher holding a test tube and shouting, "Don't be quiet, believe it or not, I'll kill you all!" "

The class was quiet for a while, and then no one dared to make trouble in chemistry class.

5, hospital intern, just bought some cold medicine, no money. I'm going to borrow 30 yuan from my teacher, so I asked her, Teacher, do you have 30 yuan?

As a result, she said, "Guess?"

Suddenly I was speechless … I saw her smile and say, "I'm 32 this year …"

Happy event campus joke 5 1, one's deceased father grind, computer specialized course. 10 after the exam, I was bending my head to do the paper. Suddenly, the head of the computer department rushed in with a blue face, searched everyone's papers, and then declared the exam invalid and took it again the next afternoon. I was surprised to be told that the standard answers were printed on the back of the test questions. That night, the school leaders went to the news broadcast. The next day, take the exam again. Look at the newspaper, or yesterday's problem! Suddenly, I fainted.

2. The teacher assigns homework. "Exercise 4, 5, 7, 9, 1 1, 16, 19. Let's do it. " Suddenly I heard several boys shouting, "Teacher, there is still one question missing. Arrange another one. " The teacher was overjoyed and thought that we were finally looking forward to the day of active learning. So he smiled and said, "well, add questions 22 and 27." As soon as the bell rang, all the boys ran to draw lots and said, "Our teacher is really good. Now we even have a special number. "

Facing the enemy's gun, Wen Tianxiang insisted on saying no (no wonder the Southern Song Dynasty was going to perish, and the other side had modern weapons. Yesterday I went to Xtep with my classmates and bought a pair of shoes. I asked my buddy what it felt like to wear them, and he said with a smile, Xtep is an extraordinary feeling! I was knocked down by the door frame as soon as I went out!

In class, the teacher asked the students to judge right and wrong on the spot. Teacher: "Xiao Lin, please judge." Kobayashi: "I think the answer should be' wrong'." Teacher: "Why?" Kobayashi: "Because Xiaoyan answered correctly earlier, but you didn't let her sit down."

5. A teacher has a special method of marking papers. One day, he was distributing the finished paper. Send it to the classmate who did well in the exam, and then send it to him. Students who do well in the exam will put it on the table and give it to him. Students who don't do well in the exam will put it on the ground and give it to him. It's finished, and there are still three papers left. He said that these papers will be buried at a fixed point tonight, and the excavation site will be notified separately. ......

6. Once the teacher asked the students to talk about their feelings about the exam. I saw a classmate write: Part I: Part II Year after year: Make-up exams are questioned by us every year: You have to pay.

7. In Chinese class, the teacher asked everyone to say idioms in the format of "one ..................", such as "wholeheartedly". The painter's son: "Draw one at a time." The captain's son: "One wave is not flat, another wave." Son of real estate agent: "One room, one living room, one kitchen and one bathroom."

After graduation, I went to teach in a girls' school. Because there are few young male teachers, I always thought that I would be very popular as a pure man. In the first class, a female student forgot to bring her textbook. I asked her to stand up and ask other students how to punish her. They agreed in unison: "The teacher kissed her!" Everyone is waiting to see my reaction. I glanced at that classmate and had to answer, "You can't punish the teacher!" " "

9. There is a boy in the class who wants to ask him for 50 yuan because his friend owes him money, but he doesn't know how to talk because of his good friend relationship, so he plans to write and tell him. But after thinking for a long time, I still didn't know how to say it, so I asked. Later, I suggested that he say it directly, and he decided to write a note saying it would be faster. I was really laughing when I saw the note written by that classmate. The content is as follows: Li Ge, I have been worried for a long time, and I don't know how you are recently! Look! Today, the weather is sunny, the autumn is crisp and the flowers are in full bloom. White clouds are floating in the wind, and the warm sunshine reflects the earth. Green grass is like flowers and willows, the mountains are high and the water is long, the floating light is golden, the static shadow is heavy, the moon is thousands of miles away, and the spring and autumn are bright and clear. ......

10, college lovers, this is a sorrow that all mankind must know, but it is not as people who have been poor together know. Freshman girl, until Yang's children, didn't grow up, grew up in the inner room, and no one knew her. Sophomore girls have other ladies in his court, 3,000 are rare and beautiful, but his favor of 3,000 is concentrated on one body. Junior girls must fold the flowers straight, don't wait for the flowers to be spent before folding the branches! There are not many senior girls in autumn, and they have long failed. Freshman boys tried to straighten the brim of their hats and scratched their heads at the end of the world. Sophomore boy, full of Song Yu feelings, very slim. Junior boys were rewarded with flowers by me, and now there are none. Senior three boys advise you not to wake up alone. There should be some drunken flowers. However, before she started walking towards us, we called a thousand times and urged her for a thousand times, but she still hid half of her face behind her guitar from us. My ex-girlfriends had to abandon me and Bolt from yesterday, and today it hurts my heart even more.

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