Is the high bride price in rural areas a good thing or a bad thing?

The high-priced bride price in rural areas is relatively high everywhere, and some don't talk about it. The level of bride price also has a certain relationship with the feeling of love. Some don't talk about the bride price. When true love comes, the bride price can't stop the combination of two people. The bride price is based on feelings, which can be high or low. Why do you say that? First, before two people get married, if they talk about free love for a long time, both families know better. If uncooked rice is cooked, the future daughter-in-law will have a good impression on her aunt. If they love each other so much, there is nothing to say when they are adults, and the bride price will not be difficult for the man. Second, through the matchmaking of others, the two people came together, and both families confirmed your good marriage and bride price, which will be easy to discuss, mainly to make the two people's feelings hit it off. First, it was introduced by someone. It was a flash marriage. Neither side knows much about it. The matchmaker is in charge in the middle. This bride price is a bit bad. If it doesn't meet the standard, it's over. Second, free love, feelings are ok, the woman's family is better than the man, the woman's parents look down on the man, a little contempt, the woman will deliberately embarrass the man, open a sky-high bride price. The bride price has a high reputation and can also ensure that the man cherishes the woman more. Too much talk about bride price means selling women. The man is a little bitter and stressed. The high bride price protects the woman's interests. For the woman, the higher the bride price, the better, which can make the man reluctant to divorce and unable to get married. The disadvantage is that it increases the family burden of the man, making it difficult for the poor to get married, afraid to love each other and want to have sex!

According to the local custom in our rural hometown, after the man pays the dowry, the woman returns it. The bride price represents the man's attitude towards the woman, but this attitude has gradually evolved into the wind of showing off capital and comparing with others. Bridal ceremony of iron pillar in the east of hometown village. 65438+100000, plus 3 gold, buildings in the town can be down paid. The young couple is not responsible for repaying the loan, and the man's parents are also responsible. Another car with less than 65,438 438+ 10/00000 L, refrigerator, washing machine, TV and other electrical appliances, which the woman bought as a dowry. My uncle's daughter received a bride price. My husband gave a gift of10.2 million, a down payment for the house loan, and a decoration of 50,000. My uncle gave me 60 thousand to buy a domestic car, but the decoration was not enough, and gave me a bride price of 50 thousand to a friend in the county. My friend married a daughter-in-law on the edge of the county seat. Fengzi is married, and the other party has a younger brother who wants a bride price of10.5 million, and the county bought the building (loan). As a result, the daughter-in-law ran away and didn't get a penny back from the bride price. Now it is a person who earns money and has to pay back the loan to support the children. He is also a part-time worker.

A media questionnaire survey shows that: ●8.9% families need to borrow money from relatives and friends or even "borrow money" (usury) to pay the bride price ● After paying the bride price, 1 1.2% families are in financial difficulties and have no production funds ●5% families rent their own fields and lose their main source of livelihood ●8.9% families are heavily in debt. In the vast rural areas, it is common to pay bride price, which is also a big expense for families. However, the rising bride price and necessary expenses have become a heavy burden for many families. Homesickness must be a rarity in this era. Only vagrants in a foreign land will find it precious and should cherish it more. Only when farmers who go out have homesickness will they have a good impression on their hometown, because homesickness will give back to their hometown. This is a virtuous circle: awaken homesickness with civilized social atmosphere, keep homesickness, and then promote the construction of new countryside. Shouldn't we do this? "Life is not just the present, but also poetry and distant fields." It is not easy to change customs, but as long as we follow the trend and actively carry forward the socialist core values, the bad habit of high-priced bride price can be eliminated.

1, more men than women, out of proportion. In the 1980s and 1990s, the phenomenon of more serious preference for boys in rural areas was the result of in-depth interaction with the national family planning policy. 2. The problem of rural bachelors is outstanding. A large number of young people in rural areas go out to work, while young women stay in big cities and get married in better conditions. Boys have to pay a high price to "buy" their wives from places with worse conditions. 3. Economic factors. Some poor mountainous areas hope to pay off their sons' debts by asking their daughters for high-priced bride price. 4. Constraints of living environment. Some villages with backward natural conditions, inconvenient transportation and poor economy, as well as families living in these villages with heavy burdens, generally have higher bride price. 5. Feudal traditional ideas. Many parents would rather borrow money from relatives and friends in order not to let their sons be single, but also "occupy" a daughter-in-law for their sons early, and some even borrow usury. 6. Rural areas are more serious. People who marry their daughters are embarrassed to see that others have asked for a bride price and think that they don't want it. They are also afraid that others will say that their daughter has problems, which will lead to the phenomenon of "market" rising under the comparison, which will make the bride price remain high. 7. The "face problem" of rural people. In rural areas, the bride price is equal to a woman's worth. If you don't accept the bride price, it seems that your daughter is worthless. Only when you accept it can you be decent enough. Moreover, the higher the income, the higher the social status and the greater the face. 8, the influence of the concept of market economy. In the past ten years, some migrant workers have gone to work in cities, witnessing the prosperity of urban commerce. The business philosophy of "everything depends on money" is prevalent in rural areas. Material thinking and the concept of making money and making profits are also affecting rural people. The woman's family thought that she had worked hard to raise her daughter and gave it to the man for nothing, feeling that she had suffered a loss. Therefore, she should be compensated by the man's money. 9. There are many people who can show off their talents. Some families with good family conditions are generous in giving bride price out of the psychology of showing off their abilities, while those with poor economic ability are very upset, but they can only be unable to refute, and can only follow the crowd and talk about vanity. 10, protecting the media from pulling optical fiber to add fuel to the fire. The phenomenon of introducing objects is widespread in rural areas. These professional matchmakers who protect the media and pull the fiber generally charge 8% to 10% as a reward, and the price is inevitably inflated. It acts as a booster for high-priced bride price. 1, an analysis of the advantages of high-priced bride price (1) from a social perspective. Reflected in the improvement of women's social status, from the original social subordination to the equal status of men and women, the price of bride price is also a game between men and women's family status after marriage. (2) From the woman's point of view. When the bride price and dowry are returned at the time of divorce, it may play the role of deposit or maintenance. When both parties know that the bride price or dowry may be returned after divorce, they can treat each other better and reduce the possibility of divorce. (3) From the perspective of life. If the bride price is given to the young couple, although the bride price belongs to the woman in essence, the life of the couple will reduce the cost and risk of future life. (4) From a psychological point of view. Satisfied the mother-in-law's psychology of seeking compensation. In traditional society, a daughter is considered to be losing money when she is born, and asking for a sky-high bride price is actually a psychological compensation for the price difference. 2. Analysis of the disadvantages of high-priced bride price (1) Poverty caused by marriage and debt. The sky-high bride price makes their families poor and heavily in debt because of their marriage, and some even take risks and borrow usury. (2) the atmosphere is corrupt and challenges good customs. The flood of sky-high bride price challenges public order and good customs, worsens rural social atmosphere, intensifies family conflicts, and affects rural stability (3) creates unstable factors. The sky-high bride price has become an obstacle to poverty alleviation, hindering rural development and creating many unstable social factors. (4) Hurt feelings and destroy marriage. The high-priced bride price has evolved into a naked commodity transaction, and feelings are worthless in front of her. The temporary increase in high-priced bride price may directly lead to the end of marriage. 3. Opportunity Analysis of High-priced Bridal Gifts (2) Some local governments have issued some regulations in an attempt to provide "guiding prices" for bride price and wedding expenses, so as to change customs and reduce the burden on marriage and family. (3) The liberalization of the second child policy reflects the change of farmers' concept, which no longer values boys over girls and reduces the imbalance between men and women. If the ratio of men to women is equal, the price of bride price will not be so high. 4. Risk analysis of high-priced bride price (1) The party who pays the bride price will have a burden inside, which will lead to family economic problems. At the same time, there will be strong anger and dissatisfaction with the woman's family. When this relationship is mixed with disharmonious factors, it is easy to bury hidden dangers and cause harm in the future marriage life. (2) Once one party dissolves the engagement, the return of the bride price will often lead to civil disputes and bring certain risks to the bride price payer. (3) There is still a lack of specific legal basis and implementation methods for high-priced bride price, and the subsequent legal formulation needs to be improved. (4) High-priced bride price not only worsens rural social atmosphere, challenges public order and good customs, but also becomes a factor of unstable marriage.

1, improve farmers' legal awareness of marriage. Publicize laws and regulations such as the law on the protection of women's rights and interests and the marriage law in rural areas, especially in remote and poor villages, so as to raise people's legal awareness. Consciously resist the unhealthy trend of high-priced bride price. 2. The media should be guided correctly. By publicizing the social harm of high bride price marriage, we can expose and expose negative examples and improve farmers' ideological understanding. 3 villages and towns and villagers' groups shall formulate village rules and regulations. Carry out "opposing high-priced bride price and advocating wedding style." Guide rural families to devote their energy to getting rich through hard work and increasing their income, and gradually change the traditional uncivilized marriage habits. 3. Poverty alleviation in rural mountainous areas. In accordance with local policies, we will increase the favorable opportunity for poverty alleviation and development, accelerate the improvement of rural production and living conditions, and provide favorable preconditions for farmers to get rid of poverty and become rich. 4. According to laws and regulations, formulate economic punishment measures, crack down on marriage sales according to law, and truly curb the spread of high-priced bride price marriages. The behavior of asking for high-priced bride price should be stopped and educated in time. 5. Standardize the rural marriage intermediary. It is necessary to intensify the training of professional matchmaking agencies, matchmakers and professional matchmakers, conduct business training, legal training and professional quality training for industry staff from time to time, and standardize rural matchmaking behavior. Create an honest environment in the matchmaking market and resolutely crack down on the matchmaker's behavior of driving up the bride price. Rich people don't care, they can reassure each other's parents, but people without money can break up a couple. Everyone should also know about the problem of sky-high bride price in rural areas. In recent years, the bride price ceremony in rural areas of northern Jiangsu is also very serious. Let's talk about it Our matchmaker hasn't started the introduction yet, and several matchmakers have to pay the mobile phone fee first. Nowadays, matchmakers don't run errands, they all contact by phone! ) after the job is done, the reward is rich, regardless of alcohol, tobacco, candy and snacks, the introduction fee alone will be several thousand dollars, and you will be invited to a wedding banquet, no one will fall! But now the high bride price makes many people feel that this is not a marriage at all, and it is completely embarrassing. Faced with such a problem, most rural people still choose to accept it, scrimp and save their savings accumulated for decades, and in order to take out all their savings to marry their sons and daughters-in-law, they have to borrow from relatives and friends, or borrow money if they are not enough. Marriage is a beautiful scene, and the day of marriage or repayment is so difficult that the son is heavily in debt and the daughter-in-law is unwilling. With the development of rural economy, people's lives have been greatly improved. Now the rural people are getting richer and richer, and the bride price is also rising. Many single people do accept this reality. For example, on our side, because a little money was not in place, we even bought a small household appliance on our wedding day, and there was less money to get off. All kinds of reasons are wasted! The role of mother-in-law is too important. For some reasonable people, you give her 65438+ 10,000 yuan, and she returns 200,000 yuan. Of course, it is also worthwhile. However, some people gave her 100,000 yuan, but she didn't get anything back. Even after she got married, she would talk about all kinds of gossip, or heard that someone had more bride price than her, and regretted that she was less. She felt really embarrassed for the man. There is also a situation here, that is, two people really love each other in the bride price. After the daughter gets married, her parents will not marry unless the bride price is sky-high. Regardless of her parents, the woman's parents will no longer ask about her daughter's affairs. It's really cruel to my daughter. Her parents raised her just to make money. This situation is also an example! There are too many such things in the countryside. Now there are dozens of older young people in every village who can't get married. They are willing to take a child as long as they hear that a girl is divorced. There is no way to spend more money now. The only hope is that the woman can live in peace of mind, that's all! Nowadays, many people follow the trend, and each bride price is higher than the other, hoping that their daughters will sell by the catty. If both men and women have good family economic conditions, the bride price is not a burden. If a family's economy is poor and there are too many bride price, the economic pressure will be great. Customs vary from place to place. In some places, the bride price is more for the woman to get married, and in some places, the man pays more for the bride price, but in any case, it is best for both parties to negotiate and their economic conditions are acceptable. Nowadays, many women have big mouths, and the in-laws have to borrow from the east and the west to save face. They think that only the daughter and son-in-law will be tired in the future, which may also affect the quality of their marriage in the future. The high price of bride price will do more harm than good, which will lead to many feelings afraid to get married because of money and challenge the emotional bottom line. With the development of society and the improvement of economic level, the psychology of comparison in marriage is becoming more and more serious. Especially the requirements of bride price, wedding car and real estate. About the wedding car and the house, these are real things, but the bride price is for the woman. As for the amount of dowry, it is hard to say, some are more, some are less. This invisibly increases the economic pressure on men, especially in rural areas. To tell the truth, most ordinary people in rural areas have devoted their whole family, and even paid a debt to marry their children. For the woman, it greatly eased the economic conditions of the family. Of course, the woman's parents really put a lot of effort and love into raising their children, and it is understandable to collect the bride price appropriately, but if it is too much. The nature of the bride price is questionable. In fact, the essence of marriage is that in the environment of high bride price and high requirements, it is true that most men are unwilling to divorce, but it has actually changed the essence of marriage to a certain extent, from a marriage based on love to a more materialistic marriage. The cost of marriage is unbearable for most rural families. On the surface, he is very happy and pays photogenic attention to his wife. In fact, the whole family has resentment, especially the man's heart. This is the actual situation and can be understood. To put it bluntly, the man will somewhat mean to buy a wife. In addition, after marriage, the debts owed will be paid off one after another, which invisibly increases the pressure on the family. Then the resentment of the whole family will be planted for the woman, even though everyone. In fact, it is easy to understand, that is, it gives people an understanding that there are some feelings of buying and selling marriage in the name of bride price, which greatly weakens the weight of feelings in marriage. Especially for people who get married in debt, the feelings in their hearts can be imagined. For the sake of the stability and harmony of marriage, a certain discount was given. First of all, talk about the advantages. I really can't find them. It is said that it is possible to satisfy face, which is an interest! Many rural people like to keep up with the joneses, and the high-priced bride price just satisfies their vanity, so they can show off everywhere for a while. Then talk about shortcomings, that's more. The most important point is that if the man's conditions are acceptable, getting more bride price should have no effect on his later life. If the conditions are average or bad, the impact will be great. He borrowed money everywhere, and when the woman got married, she paid her debts together. Such a day is bound to produce contradictions. How can he live a good life by quarreling about money every day? Asking for a high-priced bride price has lost the meaning of getting married. Two people come together because of love, and cannot be based on money. Such feelings are unreliable, and the wind blows away. At that time, it will not only hurt yourself, but also the parents of two children. As long as we are willing to work down to earth, we can still be together without the bride price, and the happiness of our life is the real happiness! Believe in the existence of true love and put an end to high-priced bride price! Hello, I'm Xiaoyu from the countryside. I'm glad to answer your question and talk about the advantages and disadvantages of the sky-high bride price in rural areas. Both the media and CCTV have reported that the bride price has doubled year by year, but this problem has never been really solved, which has caused many families to bear heavy pressure because of marriage today and staged a life tragedy! There is a jingle saying: the adopted daughter has money since then, and the adopted son has been heavily in debt since then! The image shows the pressure and embarrassment brought by the current sky-high bride price. It should have been a happy thing for a daughter to get married and a son to get married, and it is also an inevitable thing on the road of life. There is a classic saying that filial piety comes first and unfilial first, which is marriage. According to the custom passed down from generation to generation, marriage is for celebration and auspiciousness, and the bride price is negotiated by both parents and they are willing. But today, it has become a high-priced bride price, and it is precisely because of this high-priced bride price that many tragedies have been staged today ... The disadvantages of high-priced bride price are obvious. Many families are heavily in debt because they have married their children's daughters-in-law, and tragedies are constantly staged, which seriously affects the harmonious development of rural areas. The most prominent problem is that the family is poor. Because of the bride price and Gao Lei's debt, the annual income is only enough to settle the debt interest. Driven by the stale bride price, marriage is also stale. It is no longer love, but business. This kind of marriage leads to the breakup of many families. Because of the high bride price, the man bears a grudge against the woman, and soon after marriage, he makes a scene because of trivial matters, which leads to the rapid cooling of the relationship between husband and wife and eventually leads to the breakdown of marriage. The divorce rate in rural areas is rising every year. After the high-priced bride price marriage, because the man was heavily in debt and had a hard life in Gao Lei, many spoiled young ladies could not adapt to this life, so they chose to divorce after one or two years. To this end, regarding the issue of sky-high bride price, our municipal government has also formulated and promulgated the Opinions on Advocating New Marriage Fashion and Strengthening Rural Marriage Management, which will guide farmers to establish a correct view of marriage, resist bad marriage customs, establish a civilized rural style, and continuously improve the modern civilized quality of farmers. However, the oblique wind of the sky-high bride price is still flying in the remote rural sky. Bride price is a custom and etiquette. It should be a sign of engagement sincerity, and it can also be regarded as a little compensation for the woman's parents to give birth to a daughter. The existence of bride price is also reasonable, but it is definitely not a bargaining chip, nor is it a measure for some families to take their daughters' marriage as a means to improve their living conditions. In fact, everything has its two sides. Behind the sky-high bride price, there are also some things worth advocating and urging us to make progress. Although the countryside has undergone great changes with the support of the state, the roads in the countryside have hardened and various cultures have spread. But after all, several generations have grown up in the countryside, lacking education, backward thinking and not keeping pace with the times. After the tragedy, many people's ideas have changed. The most direct reaction is that in the past, many rural people refused to go out to work, worked in the fields every year and lived on government subsidies. However, under the pressure of sky-high bride price, these people have to change their thinking. As far as our village is concerned, many families are originally middle-class and self-sufficient, but their children are also heavily in debt after marriage and have to go out to work to pay off their debts. Many families are old couples, and the young couple have gone out to work. Four people earn enough money to pay off all debts in two years. After seeing the benefits, they worked outside for a year or two, some even bought houses and cars, and some returned to the countryside, and their families were also rich. There is a saying that we often encourage ourselves. You never know how much value you can create unless you push yourself. People are forced out. There are not a few such examples, of course, there are others like me. The worse they get, the more debt grows geometrically. Every coin has its two sides. Similarly, there are advantages as well as disadvantages.