Attentive son-in-law talks about mood

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been a difficult problem for thousands of years, and it is difficult to tell the grievances clearly. In the eyes of most mother-in-law, the daughter-in-law is an outsider and the object of being excluded. She always feels out of place with this family, just because she is not related to herself. Therefore, as a mother-in-law, she was excluded from her heart into her own home.

In fact, I can't blame my mother-in-law for being xenophobic. It's just a person's normal physiological reaction. When you meet an unfamiliar person, you will automatically keep your distance from him. The daughter-in-law is the closest person to your son.

From a certain point of view, it stimulates the mother-in-law's possessiveness, because that is her closest son, who no longer cares about and loves himself and loses the feeling of being a mother.

Moreover, the participation of daughter-in-law always seems awkward, saying that things are not as casual as before.

Because of embarrassment, when doing many things, it is inevitable to hide something. On the one hand, I am afraid that my daughter-in-law will say no, on the other hand, I really don't want my daughter-in-law to know.

Slowly, the daughter-in-law felt this different treatment, and the two began to have new grievances and misunderstandings, and they did not understand each other.

Daughter-in-law feels that she is an outsider and is protected all day. Daughter-in-law's behavior has angered her daughter-in-law, and her daughter-in-law will naturally make a series of reactions. So the two women began to secretly compete, and the seemingly peaceful family relationship was actually hidden.

A typical feature of rural women is that they have nothing to do. Several women gossip together, saying that the daughter-in-law is wrong. Even many mother-in-law distort the facts and describe and analyze the behavior and attitude of their daughter-in-law in a very exaggerated way.

Even some mother-in-law will make up some lies about her daughter-in-law, as if she ruined her daughter-in-law's reputation and let others make irresponsible remarks about her.

Aunt Wang, the neighbor, is like this. As long as the daughter-in-law is not at home and gossips about her, this becomes the biggest contradiction between them. Mother-in-law often criticizes her daughter-in-law, and others sometimes think she wants to help her out. She was rude to her daughter-in-law, who was angry, but because they were elders, she didn't answer directly.

The angry daughter-in-law felt uncomfortable. Naturally, my mother-in-law is puzzled. She naturally thinks that her daughter-in-law is unreasonable and thinks that her daughter-in-law is not good. She continues to talk about her daughter-in-law everywhere, and the contradiction is getting bigger and bigger.

And some mother-in-law not only belittles her daughter-in-law, but also praises her son-in-law in front of outsiders, saying that her son-in-law is so capable and diligent, but she doesn't know that such consequences are killing her daughter-in-law's efforts.

Mother-in-law's saying this may even cause family conflicts and make the daughter-in-law unhappy. Then, what information did the mother-in-law accidentally reveal when she praised her son-in-law?

First, exaggerating the advantages of one side is actually belittling the other side.

Praising one spouse for his hard work also means that the other spouse is lazy, because people are good at association, while the mother-in-law is often good at creating contradictions. She always feels that praising her daughter's happiness and her son-in-law's ability and diligence give her a long face, but in fact she can't see another invisible contradiction.

For the average rational thinking person, your son-in-law is so diligent that he has finished everything. So, what did her daughter do? A family is a whole. When you praise the other person too much, you are also talking about the other person's fault.

And as a mother-in-law, you can't just think that your daughter should be the life of the queen and do nothing. The more diligent a son-in-law is, the better. When two people get along, they help each other. When one person's value is exaggerated, it will appear that the other party is useless.

If the relationship between daughter and son-in-law is really like this, the daughter pays nothing, and the son-in-law has been paying and making progress in all aspects, then the son-in-law will inevitably become more and more excellent. If the daughter is less and less motivated, she will be abandoned by her son-in-law one day.

People who are useless and have no advantage are naturally eliminated. This is the rule in the real society, and so is marriage.

Second, the daughter-in-law is lazy and the son is lazy.

A mother-in-law who often praises her son-in-law's diligence is undoubtedly saying that her daughter-in-law is not good and her son is lazy, otherwise she will not think that her son-in-law is diligent and will spread everywhere.

I always feel that my daughter can be lazy and do nothing, which is a happy thing, and such living conditions make her envious, otherwise she would not talk about how diligent her son-in-law is everywhere.

It is not a good thing that a person's strengths and weaknesses are exaggerated. If his daughter has problems in her future marriage, others will think that your daughter is too lazy, which is undoubtedly shooting herself in the foot.

As a mother-in-law, don't belittle your daughter-in-law too much, and don't flatter your son-in-law. You often compare the two and think that all this is unfair, because you think your daughter-in-law should be an ox and a horse to you, and your son-in-law is a guest, so you should be grateful for everything.

In fact, from a certain perspective, there is no difference between a daughter-in-law and a son-in-law. They are all your children's partners, at least they should be treated equally. However, it is not too high for anyone who denigrates them, which is not good for anyone.

It will only lead to the rapid escalation of family conflicts, which will have a bad influence and eventually harm others and themselves.

Third, I am unhappy and envy my daughter.

Mother-in-law often praises her son-in-law for his diligence. On the one hand, she thinks she is giving herself a long face, on the other hand, she is actually revealing that she is unhappy, at least not the happiness she wants.

People's eyes are always easy to pay too much attention to what they like and hate, which is why mother-in-law especially hates her daughter-in-law, but it is too high for son-in-law.

On the one hand, I want to show off how happy my daughter is, on the other hand, I feel that I am not as happy as my daughter, and I am envious.

I often hear my aunt call my cousin and say, "It's good to see you. You have eaten and slept all day, and you don't have to cook. It's really comfortable to sleep until you wake up naturally. " Cousin said, "What's the big deal? You live like this every day. " Aunt said, "I don't enjoy it as much as you do." I have to cook three meals a day. "

The implication is that she is serving her family to eat and drink, but according to my observation, my cousin doesn't cook, goes to work every day, and often cooks dinner at noon, but doesn't cook breakfast. It is understandable that young people want to sleep in the morning, but she doesn't say a word about it and insists on cooking by herself.

In short, when she said this, her tone was full of envy. Moreover, people are always good at exaggerating their grievances and misfortunes. The more they magnify themselves, the more they feel wronged. Therefore, they are more and more unhappy. Because her heart is full of dissatisfaction and there is no room for happiness, she can't feel happiness.

Most of the contradictions in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law lie in this, mainly because the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law cannot be treated in a balanced way, which always worsens the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and beautifies other relationships invisibly. So the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is getting worse and worse, and the relationship between husband and wife is getting worse and worse.