Funny and cold humorous sentences

Guide: What words make you laugh when you see them? And it will take a long time to remember after laughing?

1, hold your hand and you will know that your son is ugly and his face is full of tears. Grab your son's hand and drag him away. The son said no, well, close the door and let the dog go!

It is not difficult to be single, but it is difficult to deal with those who try their best to make you end being single.

When life viciously turned everything into black humor, I pushed the boat with the current and turned myself into a hooligan with higher education.

Pass the bottle after drinking the medicine, hang yourself with a rope, and the person who jumped off the building waved a handkerchief to see him off.

Many people say that marriage is the grave of love, but love that can be buried underground is better than a corpse in the street.

6. Crowding buses is a comprehensive sport including Sanda, yoga, judo and balance beam.

7. As soon as I opened my eyes, I knew you were a demon.

8. God, it's so blue! Sea water, too salty! Life is too hard! Work, too annoying! And you, decree by destiny! Miss you, insomnia! It's too far to see you!

9. Apart from teeth, there is also love.

10, without medical insurance and life insurance, don't try to be brave after dark.

1 1, you have to understand that the script of your life is not a sequel to your parents, a prequel to your children, or a foreign story of your friends.

12, I can tolerate fake bodies, fake faces, fake breasts and fake hips! ! ! But I just can't stand that money is fake! ! ! !

13. A dinosaur went to the toilet when passing by Xi Jiaotong University. After coming out, she sobbed: 555, have you finally got married in your life?

14, girls only need to succeed once from virgins to women, and boys need to be tempered repeatedly from virgins to men!

15, don't watch what you shouldn't see, don't say what you shouldn't say, don't listen to what you shouldn't hear, don't think about what you shouldn't think about, and do what you should do.

16, what do you say you look like? You are scared to take refuge in the Buddha for nothing.

17. When God closes the door here, he will open the window there, that is to say, God never shuts one door but he opens another.

18, I really don't want to use my endless colorful words to attack your barren and unsightly language.

19. If you have more troubles, try to blow them away and let them fly for a while.

20. Please cherish your friends who like to stay up late. Maybe one day they will all become pandas, only chew bamboo and never talk to you again.

2 1, everyone is holding bombs, and they are always lit when they are angry! Calm handling can extinguish the fuse.

22, the current flower heart, because it is more primitive than anyone else.

In today's society, people have to queue up to cut in line.

24. Those who believe in fate follow it, and those who don't believe in fate are dragged by it.

25. Excuse me, Miss, this man is mine. Please take care of your thighs and sexual desire.

26. Don't let others get you easily, or you will be easily forgotten.

27. Love can't resist the tedious housework, at least one party must have strong quality.

28, unrequited love is not equipped with anti-aircraft gun radar, silently locking the enemy plane.

29. You have to change your notebook. It takes 5 minutes to boot, and the battery only lasts 3 minutes!

30. The lightning rod tells us that the most prominent place is always the place that is most prone to electric shock. This is why when a man looks at a woman, the first sight always falls on his chest.

3 1, don't always say that you are okay, nothing is nothing.

32. Don't tell me the story of the underworld as a common people.

33. The highest level of ignorance is two words: pretend to understand!

34. Women who don't work hard have only two results: endless stalls and endless vegetable markets.

35. I have lived for twenty years and have done nothing for my country and people. Every time I think about it, my heart aches!

36, the season of black silk flooding, let us these thick legs?

37. If you are the one, if a female guest turns off another man's light, the aunt downstairs in the dormitory can turn off the whole floor!

The person who is angry with you will never know how many times he has put up with you.

39. Everyone says what they say. I read the medical records. I can't even imagine a doctor.

40. It is said that strong melons are not sweet, and my brother likes to eat bitter gourd.

4 1. You are dressed dangerously, but you look safe.

Every time I teach Buddha's feet, the Buddha always gives me a foot.

43. My mother praised me for being virtuous and carefree.

God, I will never call you grandpa again. You don't love my granddaughter at all

45. The color of the money in your pocket determines your mood today.

46. If a woman is a book, many women have only three pages: one page has a car, one page has a room and one page has a ticket.

47. What are you pretending to be tender? Wrinkles on the face can kill flies.

48. Law of Conservation of Singles: The total number of singles will never change, and singles will neither appear out of thin air nor disappear out of thin air. It will only be transferred from one person to another.

Brother Chun is not a pure man, but she is a real man.

50. Apprentices who don't want to betray their teachers are incompetent apprentices.

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