When life presses the pause button

A few days ago, a friend of mine told me that he had resigned.

As an executive of a company, after working hard in the workplace for more than ten years, he fell into an irresistible low tide. In recent six months, he often can't sleep at night. His black hair turned white for a while. After a period of struggle, he finally decided to press the pause button for his life with a tangled mood, and stopped to think about what went wrong in his career development and where to go in the future.

Coincidentally, that night, one of my visitors sent me the following words:

In reply to this visitor, I mentioned something about my friend. I want to tell her in this way that she is not alone in experiencing such confusion and burnout. In life, we sometimes need to press the pause button to get out of the noisy workplace, calm down and listen to our inner voice.

In almost everyone's life, there will be a time when someone borrows the concept of emotional window period and derives the term "career window period":

-Baidu Encyclopedia

Since everyone may experience a career gap, what kind of situation will trigger a career gap?

Obviously, there will be active and passive reasons for career vacancies. In the above two cases, the parties actively seek the occupation vacancy period, and in many cases, the occupation vacancy period will also be caused by passive reasons. The economic growth slowed down in the second half of 20 16, and many enterprises laid off employees of different scales. This is not what the parties want, but the career gap has come, which is a fact that is difficult to change.

Since many times things don't go as we wish, let's face it bravely. We can successfully overcome the career gap and usher in a new career through the following three steps.

First,? Adjust your mentality, face and accept the empty window.

At the beginning of the empty window period, people often go through an uncomfortable period. The regular pace of work and life was disrupted by the sudden resignation. People often feel at a loss, don't know how to arrange their day, and often waste a lot of time unconsciously.

When you leave the workplace and return home, the interpersonal relationship in the workplace suddenly breaks off, and you will feel lonely; Especially those who passively accept the empty window period are more likely to have self-blame and inferiority complex, which is a negative emotion that needs high vigilance. At the beginning of the empty window period, people should adjust their mentality, accept this state, objectively evaluate their abilities and past experiences, and try to face it with a positive attitude for a period of time.

Speaking of this, some friends must have said that they don't understand: "People who resign voluntarily choose their own vacancy period, so will they not adapt?" Facts show that people who actively choose the empty window period will also experience this period, not only because of the change of lifestyle, but also because people's subjective feelings about rest time obey the principle of diminishing marginal utility. What is the law of diminishing marginal utility? This is an economic concept:

-p68, A Course in Modern Western Economics, translated by Wei Yu et al., 199 1.

In our daily life, many things obey the law of diminishing marginal utility. Take chestnuts for example. I like desserts very much, and chocolate cake is my favorite. Generally speaking, when I eat the first chocolate cake, I will feel that I am in heaven. Hehe, well, next, I'll eat another piece, and it feels good. Then, if I eat the third piece, well, I can barely eat it, so I think I can skip dinner. However, if I still eat the fourth piece at this time, God, then I will.

Therefore, whether actively or passively choosing the empty window period, the parties need to keep a clear understanding of their emotional state and adjust their state through a positive lifestyle. Next, let's talk about how to improve our status.

Second,? 10 moves to improve the state and maintain a positive attitude.

In the blank window period, the most difficult thing is to adjust the state. Many people will have different degrees of negative emotions at this stage. Using the following methods will help to adjust your mentality:

1.？ Work and rest: Be sure to establish a regular work and rest time for yourself. Many people will break the original rules of life during the empty window period, stay up late, overeat and even indulge in pleasure. These practices will not really relax themselves, but will also produce a strong sense of emptiness and self-blame after indulgence. The meaning of the empty window period is to stop and think about life. Moderate relaxation is beneficial, but if the pace of life is too tense or procrastinating, you will lose control. Therefore, when the empty window period comes, it is imperative to make a schedule and time plan for yourself.

2.？ Travel: When we leave the familiar living environment and go to a completely strange place, there will be a strong sense of freshness. Travel will also make our schedule full, and our attention will shift to the arrangement of travel and the scenery of travel, so we will temporarily forget those negative emotions. During the trip, we will meet different people and things, break through the original interpersonal circle, and get to know fellow travelers with different experiences. When we see that life has more paths and possibilities, we will become more open-minded and relieved. Remember the friend mentioned at the beginning of the article? He is going to take his family to travel during the empty window period to precipitate himself in this way.

3.？ Entertainment: A good song, a dance, a long-awaited concert, a classic movie or TV series and, of course, my favorite funny gossip entertainment program can make us forget our troubles for a while. Positive music, dance and movies can make our bodies secrete more dopamine, which is a neurotransmitter that makes us feel happy. With it, our depression will also be improved.

4.？ Exercise: Exercise is my favorite way to adjust my state. Jogging, swimming, yoga, mountain climbing, walking and various competitive sports all belong to this category. Exercise can directly and effectively stimulate our body to secrete a lot of dopamine, which makes us feel happy effortlessly. Think about it. You need to find the other half before falling in love. Exercise can be done by one person and is worth a try.

5.？ Reading: the empty window period is a very rare time for quiet study. During pregnancy, I had to stay in bed because of threatened abortion. I can't go out, it's inconvenient to watch computer TV, let alone exercise, which makes me feel extremely depressed. Fortunately, I still have a hobby of reading. During that time, I revisited many classic novels, and I felt happy when I thought about it. However, since my baby was born three years ago, I haven't been able to read idle books without being disturbed for so long. Now that I think about it, it is really a great pleasure in life to read my favorite books at will.

By the way, here is a classic personal growth book, Life Reconstruction, which is one of the most influential personal growth books for me. The author is Louise Hay, the most famous American psychotherapist. In the book, she reveals the psychological mode hidden behind the disease, and thinks that everyone has the ability to adopt positive thinking mode to achieve overall health of body, spirit and mind, and gives simple and easy self-practice methods in the book. This book was published in 1984, and was quickly translated into 25 languages and published in 35 countries and regions. By the end of 2002, the English version had been printed 7 times/kloc-0 times and sold 20 million copies, which helped many people all over the world to get rid of negative emotions and become positive people. So, you can read this book if you want.

6.？ Socialization: For extroverts who like to be with friends, the window break is a rare time to share with friends. You can have a cup of coffee with them after work, meet for a walk on weekends and interact with them through various chat tools. After all, for busy modern people, sitting down and chatting with friends has become a rare luxury choice. Being able to enjoy such a period of time is also a precious opportunity to enhance the friendship between friends.

7. Learning: Haha, finally speaking of learning, after all, I still love learning. In today's society, learning channels and resources can be said to be extremely rich. There are many free online courses for people to choose from. Various open classes and massive open online course platforms can provide high-quality learning resources for various disciplines, and you can also learn through online open classes such as Himalayan and Get. A friend of mine actively signed up for various studies after he was laid off, which not only adjusted his mentality, but also made a good knowledge reserve for new job opportunities. Of course, if you like, you can also make an appointment with an expert (such as me, hehe) online to talk about your future.

8.？ Writing: I once recommended a book about writing, live a new life, and adjust my mentality with writing, on the official account of WeChat. The title of this book has perfectly explained the relationship between writing and psychological adjustment. For those who are interested in writing, it is strongly recommended that you try to adjust yourself by writing during the gap period, because in addition to mental adjustment, writing will bring you unexpected gains, and maybe you will find new possibilities on the road of starting a business from the media.

9.？ Family: We still have to remember that people don't live in a vacuum. If we are so left, we have to discuss with our families first, otherwise we will get high and catch fire in the backyard, which is not what we want. Therefore, the arrangement of broken windows needs to communicate with family members and win their support, so as to better enjoy this long vacation.

10.？ Money: Ahem, the point has finally come. The important thing has been said three times. Be sure to prepare funds, funds, funds during the gap period. I believe that most of my friends don't want to travel in poverty, remember that their account balance is low when watching movies, and don't want to be short of money when paying for their studies. Therefore, they need to prepare enough funds at the beginning of the window period so that they can enjoy this time calmly, instead of squatting at home in a panic.

Some time ago, I saw a joke for girls: look in the mirror three times a day, look at the balance and think about the new marriage law. The appearance was given by my parents, and we can't change it (in fact, this can be changed now), but the deposit in our bank can be changed, which is true.

Third,? Pack your bags and start over.

1.？ Looking for a new direction: Generally speaking, people who have experienced job burnout are often the reason why they actively choose the window period. Therefore, more in-depth thinking and adjustment are needed in the career direction. Many people will deny their abilities at this stage, and even think that they have no talent and advantages, so they need to use some methods to discover their talent advantages. Here I recommend a method and a book to you:

2.？ Get ready for a new job: Here is a good book, What color is your parachute (richard nielsen Bowles), which is a great career development book. It systematically introduces how to find a career direction and improve the job-hunting ability, and gives a simple tool-flower map, which I used to make my own career orientation. The only regret is that this book was written by an American, and the resources and information in it are not completely in line with China's national conditions. I look forward to writing a classic career development book for China people one day. Well, I feel a little cheeky writing here [covering my face] [covering my face].

3.？ Set goals and make action plans: Vacancy will lead to laziness and fear of new opportunities. I believe many friends have heard of the concepts of comfort zone and growth zone. In fact, we are temporarily withdrawing from the highly competitive workplace. No matter how to beautify this choice, we need to admit that it is a retreat in a sense. Retirement is to accumulate wealth, but lack of sufficient pressure can also lead to insufficient motivation. The most effective way to motivate yourself is to set a clear goal (when you need to start a new job) and push back the action plan according to the goal. Making goals and action plans is also a big project, so I won't go into details here. I will write an article to talk about it later.

In such a rapidly changing era, everyone may face an empty window. The difference is that some people rise again after the empty window period, and some people gradually sink after that. I hope this article can help people set sail again after the dormant window and sail to the other side of brilliant life.

Finally, I wish you all a happy Spring Festival!