Post funny comments on Moments

1. My mother only gave birth to me, so you can figure out who I am.

2. I am not good-looking, but I am not as arbitrary as you.

3. Those manufacturers that produce condoms, don’t always focus on producing ultra-thin condoms. There is a market for ultra-thick condoms. It doesn’t matter if the price is more expensive. After all, dignity is more valuable to a man. !

4. You must study history carefully, maybe you will travel through time that day

5. I shook my head in a cool way, and the wig fell out.

6. Hypocritical boys, when they see an ugly girl, they say they borrowed it, and when they see a beautiful girl, they ask if we have met before

7. The highest state of a woman is that of a fairy, but you have become Became a monster

8. If there is love in heaven, die early, live great, and die under the flowers.

9. "Can I touch your school badge?" "You actually talk about breasts in such a fresh and refined way"

10. What is the best sleeping position? The most rocking, what kind of hairstyle is the most joyful.

11. If anyone dares to disturb my homework again, I will play with him.

12. I can’t tell whether I am too strong or I am simply heartless.

13. I am the ideal of pork. The life of a cabbage will always be jealous. How I wish to be braised in soy sauce.

14. How do you know what is best if you don’t miss some crooked melons and cracked dates?

15. I hate it the most when others are pointing the way. They say southeast, northwest, and you can’t say before and after.

16. The story of Meng’s mother moving three times actually shows that she had a good son. If it were me, it would be useless to move a hundred times!

17. Let’s see, if you dare to eat outside secretly, I will dare to drink secretly outside.

19. We are chasing time every day, but we cannot measure the distance between Monday and Friday.

20. If children in this country no longer have innocence, then The future of this country must lack imagination.

21. Watch the time not to get up, but to see how long you can sleep.

22. They say women are made of water, but water pollution has been so serious recently

23. Your advantage is that you are useless at critical moments.

24. You can lie to me once, but please don’t doubt my IQ and lie to me again and again.

25. There will always be a few days in this year when I have no money when I go out and have nothing to do at home.

26. The virus fell in love with me Computer, I can only fulfill them

27. That day you healed a blind man. When he saw you, he begged you to turn him back to blindness.

Twenty-eight, it’s not that I don’t want to be a lady, it’s that the world has forced me to become a shrew!

Twenty-nine, the most powerful thing about my sister is that she can be a gangster and be artistic without relying on tobacco or alcohol.

Thirty. I feel that the brightest smile in my life is probably dedicated to my mobile phone and computer screen.

Thirty-one. Living alone, living with two people, The three of them are fighting to the death.

Thirty-two, don’t lift yourself up so high, be careful if it falls and kills you. How to post to WeChat Moments during military training? Let’s talk about some funny short sentences for posting on WeChat Moments during military training

1. A pretty girl before military training, and a blue-faced girl after military training

2. Military training, please rainstorm, strong wind, please Thunder!!!

3. Let the military training sun shine more fiercely, let the military training be more fiery.

4. After the military training, the most painful thing is to comb your hair and take a shower!

5. I pray that during the military training, it will not be exposed to the sun, windy, cloudy, rainy, and the temperature will be low.

6. Military training is about spending money to find abuse.

7. During military training, raise your head at 45° just to prevent your nose from leaving. He lowered his head at 45 degrees just to wipe his nose so that no one would see him.

8. Finally I understand why military training requires turning left and right, because this way the sun is evenly hydrated

9. Please be sure to return the heavy rains that I missed in those years to me during military training

10. After military training, the most painful thing is to comb your hair and take a shower!

11. Military training has produced many African compatriots.

12. When the military training is over, you are finished.

13. "Bai Men" in turn means "Bai Men". Is it possible that military training is destined to make tanned mushrooms cool?

14. During military training, I endured tears for a few days and went home. Finally broke out

15. In fact, the instructor is still very good, if his voice can be lowered.

16. I found that the more handsome the instructor, the better the girls’ military posture.

17. I would rather go through military training in the rain than accept a gift from Father-in-law the Sun.

18. During military training, I really envied my shorter classmates because they had a taller classmate to help them block the sun.

19. You have to eat well and go to bed early. Don’t just rely on your appearance to stay up late.

20. The face I kissed you was covered with isolation cream, BB cream, and sunscreen. It felt like you spent a lot of money in one bite.

21. After returning home from military training, I lost weight and became darker, but my parents were the only ones who looked at me with heartache.

22. The annual military training has begun...

23. Confucius said: If you don’t sleep at noon, you will collapse in the afternoon. Mencius said: Confucius is right!

24. As a typical failure, you are too successful.

25. Military training taught me what the temptation to go home is.

26. Let the military training sun shine more fiercely, let the military training be more fiery.

27. During military training, I offered Xiao Jingteng incense sticks and begged him to come to Jiaozhou for a concert! Funny sentences to post on Moments

1. In the vast desert, an explorer struggled He drove the jeep to a man riding a camel and asked, "Sir, what's the nearest way?" The man said: Keep going along this sandy road, and on Tuesday, turn right again.

2. The first person in the world to use QQ to be invisible was Jingnu in the Western Zhou Dynasty. There is the poem "Quiet Girl" as evidence: The quiet girl and her concubines are waiting for me in the corner of the city. Love but not see, scratch one's head and hesitate. Translated into modern Chinese, it means: There is a very quiet girl who made an appointment with me to meet on QQ, but when I went online she was invisible, which made me scratch my head and scratch my head.

3. At noon, Xiao Li and Xiao Wang met at the door of the toilet. Li entered and Wang went out. Li: Have you eaten? Wang: I have eaten. Li: Does it taste the same? Wang: Not bad. Li: When? Wang: I just ate it! Lee Oh! Xiao Wang: What about you? Li: I'll go in and feel comfortable. Xiao Wang: Oh my God! Fuck you.

4. A: Although mountains and rivers are tall, people can pull them up. B: How is that possible? A: Haven’t you heard that you are so powerful that you can conquer the world? B: What about the river? Can it be pulled out? A: Have you never played tug of war?

5. While surfing the Internet at an Internet cafe, a man in his thirties or forties sat next to him, seemingly chatting on QQ. The other woman asked him to start the video, but this guy actually adjusted the camera to point at me, and then he went to the toilet to urinate urgently. Out of humanitarianism, I dug my nose in front of the camera for a minute, and then the woman silently turned off the video. After the man came back, he sent dozens of shaking windows, but the woman ignored him.

6. The cat warmed the frozen mouse. With tears in his eyes, the mouse said: Benefactor, you are so kind, and you will be rewarded with good things. The cat said coldly: I just think you are too tough!

7. When I was waiting in line for food in the canteen, I accidentally stepped on the girl behind me, and she yelled at me. I lowered my head and sighed softly: The girl is so fierce now! Unexpectedly, after hearing this, MM's face turned red and she puffed up her breasts: Do I really have nice breasts?

8. The most failed person in life is Tang Seng. People around you, whether they are friends or foes, want to send you to the West.

9. The old woman came to the city from the countryside and stayed in a hotel for the night.

The next morning she found the waiter, pointed to the toilet and said: Look at how convenient this small washing machine is. You can wash clothes with just one click, and the water output is quite large! Huh? Why is there one sock missing?

10. A few days ago, a friend asked me to configure a computer. He asked for a quad-core CPU, 8G memory, 1T hard drive, and independent graphics card. All configurations are advanced. After configuration. I asked him: It’s so cool to play 3D games with such advanced configuration. What game are you playing? He said: I don’t play 3D games, I play Landlords. I'm wondering: Why does Doudi have such a high configuration? He answered with certainty: The machine is fast and can deal good cards.

11. The elephant whispered to the deer: I heard that my teeth and your antler are very valuable. Deer asked: Really? The elephant said: It's true. I want to ask the orangutan to help me pull out the tooth. It will definitely sell for a high price! The deer sneered and said: If you pull out the tooth, what dignity do you have? Xiang replied without hesitation: As long as it can be sold for money, why do you need more face?

12. The feeling that some girls convey to men is always: I’ll be dead if I live a good life without you. So they never have boyfriends.

13. We held a party and our program was a chorus of "We Are All Family". Before taking the stage, the senior brother encouraged everyone: You should be calm like me and don't be nervous. So, more than a dozen people walked onto the stage with neat steps. The senior brother personally announced the curtain: Now we present a chorus for everyone. The name of the song is "Our family is all human beings".

14. When the county magistrate was promoted, Yongbu celebrated with great joy. He drank a lot of wine and sang a lot of songs. Finally he got tired and it was time to go home. The director and the driver carried him home, one on the left and the other on the right. Bang bang bang bang the door opened, Madam Chang looked unhappy, and was about to reprimand, the Chang opened her eyes slightly, took a glance, and said repeatedly: Wrong, wrong, wrong box, that lady is not that old.

15. Today, my mother called me and said that she was making a facial mask. There was a SB dog at home. In the background, the dog woke up, opened its eyes and yawned, and saw her mother applying a white mask. His face suddenly jumped up and turned around, barking and running, and even bumped into the door. He was peeing all the way. How scared the dog was! How scary is the white face mask

16. A young man ate a meal in a restaurant. After eating, he wanted to leave without paying, but was caught by the waiter. The waiter threatened: If you don’t pay within 5 minutes, I will call the police. The young man said nonchalantly: Do you think the police will pay for me when they come?

17. The old man fell down on the road. A young man who looked like a student stepped forward to help him. The old man was horrified and said: "Comrade, classmate, which university are you from?"

18. A famous pianist took a train to perform abroad. While she was resting in the box, she used her hands to bounce the edge of the bed to practice her fingering. When the train arrived at the station, it was two hours late, and she blamed the conductor. The train conductor replied apologetically: We stopped for two hours on the road because someone triggered the siren from time to time, but we couldn't find who it was.

19. In the morning, roommate Xiao A called his girlfriend and said that he would show her tattoos that night. His girlfriend said: Even if you get a 3D tattoo on your body, it won’t change your 2B-like temperament! ! !

20. A: Have you eaten? B: No. A: Are you second? B: I’m hungry. A: Very bad? , B: Very hungry! A: At first glance, you seem to be a very smart person!

21. I just saw a big golden retriever outside. I like it in every way. When I went to touch it, the dog bit me, and one bit of it hit my mouth. As a result, the dog's owner saw it. The dog owner was a girl and had a good blood. She came over quickly, and I just wanted to borrow the dog to strike up a conversation. As a result, the girl said, "Why are you licking my dog?" I was instantly confused! It’s messy!

22. I told my brother: Brother, I was hooked just now. My brother looked puzzled and melancholy. After thinking for a long time, he said to me seriously: How could he be beaten by a dog? ?

23. Last night, I used my girlfriend’s mobile phone to send a text message to her best friend: I’m pregnant. As a result, I replied: Is it your boyfriend’s or XXX’s? , don’t tell your boyfriend first. I didn’t sleep all night last night, and my hands were still shaking from numbness. . .

24. Last time, my primary school classmate mailed me a box of betel nuts. A friend asked me what it was, and I said it was a specialty of Hunan. When he heard that it was exciting, he insisted on tasting a little, okay, I gave it to him.

Half an hour later, he actually ran to my dormitory and knelt in front of me. He really knelt down. His face was red and his forehead was covered with sweat. He only said one sentence: What are you giving me? Give me the antidote and the antidote< /p>

Twenty-five, iphone 4S nestled in the arms of iphone 5 with tears in eyes: Xiao 5, people blame me, blame me for not being perfect enough, blame me for not having enough battery life, Siri is flawed, built-in iOS 5 has loopholes, I I'm so sad, idiot, don't be stupid, don't care too much about what outsiders say. Those people, I will make them lose a kidney this year

Twenty-six, after dinner. Mom: When will you get married? Sister: Wait until I find the right man. Mom: What do you want? Sister: I can work in the hall and in the kitchen. I have an eight-digit savings, a house and a car. I don’t care about anything outside. I’m the oldest in the family. I have some small muscles and feel good. The younger brother was shocked: Sister, you can’t miss my man! ! !

27. There is a person who is very fat and has become even fatter recently, but he feels good about himself. Once he met an old classmate and said excitedly: My return rate has been very high recently! The old classmate couldn't believe it. He stared and said, "Really?" Oh, I understand, you can’t finish it all at one glance!

Twenty-eight. When the store was being renovated, my husband stuck a few one-yuan coins with cement at the door. Then every day I saw people squatting at the door to tie their shoelaces, squatting for a long time without leaving

29. At a certain age in your life, it always comes once a month. It usually comes on time, but of course it often happens a few days early or a few days late. When it comes, it is often accompanied by physiological reactions, such as nervousness, irritability, insomnia, depression, and even loss of appetite. Of course, the most amazing thing is that for several people living in the same dormitory, it will come on the same day. Yes, it's the damn monthly exam.

Thirty, after graduating from high school, he was admitted to a domestic university, while she chose to go abroad. A parting that had to be faced. At the airport, the two embraced each other affectionately and reluctantly parted. He silently watched the plane carrying her flying higher and farther. Suddenly, he discovered that the plane was traveling from west to east, and the direction of the geomagnetic field's magnetic field lines was from south to north. He asked: Is the potential energy higher on the left wing or right wing of the plane?

31. A person applied for a job. He had to fill in the application form whether he had ever been arrested before. Of course he filled in: No! The next question is: why? This is the answer to the person who filled in the previous question, but he still wrote: Because he has never been caught!

Thirty-two. A little girl called the radio station and wanted to order a song for her mother. Host: Why do you want to order songs for your mother? Little girl: Mom works very hard every day and can’t take a good rest on Sundays. She has to find various exercise books for me. The host was very moved and said that she was very sensible and a good child of her mother, so she asked what song she wanted. Little girl: Why bother women?

Thirty-three. There was a millionaire who was told that he was terminally ill and had only half a year left. He was so sad that he found a killer and asked him to kill him when he was happiest. A few days later, the millionaire was notified of the misdiagnosis. He was smiling happily when he was killed by the killer. A funny story about someone who stayed up late and posted it on WeChat Moments

A funny story about someone who stayed up late and posted it on Moments 1

1. Staying up late is not good, but it has become a habit for me. The reason for this must be: Start talking about childhood a long time ago.

2. Fool, don’t always stay up late and go to bed early, okay?

3. People who like you do not accompany you when you stay up late, but advise you to go to bed earlier and stay up less late.

4. Losing and staying up late have become habits, and I have no hope of tossing and turning at night.

5. Do you know why I like to sleep? Because when I am asleep, the whole world is mine, and so are you, but when I wake up, everything is gone.

6. It’s not that I don’t want to sleep, it’s just that I really can’t sleep.

7. Missing is spreading unbridled in this season.

8. Don’t stay up late. Staying up late is not good for your mobile phone.

9. Don’t stay up late anymore. Everyone you like is asleep.

10. It’s not good to buy too many things that I don’t have anymore, and it’s not good to stay up late and watch porn, the dark circles under my eyes are so big...

11. I insist on getting up to have breakfast. Whether it’s staying up late or pulling an all-nighter.

12. You taste your tea, and I drink my liquor.

13. Even though I know that staying up late is harmful to my body, I still like to go to bed late. I know that you don’t love me but I still love you.

14. I like to take out my mobile phone at night to look at the space, and then say good night to the people I care about on the message board, letting them know that I will still be there tomorrow.

15. I like to hear you say you love me, and I like to call you and say good night to me every night. Because that's enough.

16. I plan to stay up late to complete the homework on the first day of school [The problem is that it’s only the first day and I have to memorize so much! ]

17. True love is not a temporary good feeling, but the urge to persist despite knowing that there is no result. I know it's not easy to meet you, and it would be a pity to miss you.

18. Those who are loved are children who will not grow up, and those who lack love always mature prematurely!

19. Life is like this photo, are you tired? Tired! Why don't you let go...can you let go?

20. You have to eat on time, go to bed early and get up early, and don't just rely on your appearance to stay up late. Funny stories about staying up late and post them on Moments Part 2

21. I have become addicted to staying up late. No one listens to my concerns. I don’t have the courage to greet the dawn every time I get late at night.

22. I am Obai’s younger brother who stays up late

23. I really can’t let go, it’s really uncomfortable. I obviously gave my sincerity, but all I got in exchange was his sorry. I Is it useful to be sorry?

24. Every night, how many people are like me, staying up late, not sleeping, waiting for someone’s reply

25. Some things make me powerless, such as staying up late Addiction, and you who are far away.

26. People like me who are addicted to staying up late need to practice meditation.

27. When you see others clearly, you also see yourself clearly.

28. I am tired, my heart is tired, I am really tired, so tired that I even find it difficult to breathe, but who would understand? No one will understand. I can only sit alone on the computer, click on my favorite music, over and over again... and let the soothing melody caress my tired and sad heart.

29. When I turn around, the wind blows my hair black, but when I look back, my hair is covered with snow.

30. I can only enter my own time at night. Give your time during the day to life, and give your time to yourself late at night. Dear body, I have been staying up late all my life, and I want to say sorry to you, I'm sorry!

31. If it doesn’t belong to you, why should you care about it desperately?

32. Raise your hand if you are awake in the middle of the night.

33. Don’t stay up late, it’s bad for your health. Everyone knows this, but for those who are really used to going to bed late, it is difficult to fall asleep before a certain point.

34. The most difficult thing in the world is not the night, nor the process of waiting for love, but the process of waiting for love to disappear.

35. You are much weaker than when you were a child. At that time, you had many dreams and worked hard. You wanted to get into a good school, have a group of friends, and even secretly liked something. People stay up late reading and listen to their friends. But now, you have seen more, are wiser than before, and have become stronger, but you never work hard like before because you believe in yourself and the future.

36. You have your roses, and I have my clover, which is not very fragrant, but very lucky.

37. In the dead of night, the elves who stayed up late stuck out their little heads to observe the world.

38. The wind in this city is very strong at night, blowing away magnanimity and exaggeration. You always miss home when you are tired, and miss him when you are lonely.

39. I stay up late, I feel distressed, I shed tears, I cry out that I am tired, I miss you, and only I know it.

40. Do you still remember how blocked your door was two years ago when you confessed? And which boy was holding a love letter that stayed up late and read you a funny story about staying up late and posted it on Moments Part 3

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41. Have you ever asked others not to stay up late, but you went to bed very late?

42. I missed reincarnation for that time of looking back, but I didn’t wait for you after all.

43. The night gave me black eyes, but it made me fall in love with the pain the night gave me.

44. How many people place their hopes on staying up late, and at night they place their hopes on tomorrow.

45. If hurting you is a relief for you, I am willing to endure this kind of torture.

46. Read the following syllables and understand the role of sound insulation symbols.

47. Time is a rogue and always likes to destroy expectations.

48. If I had seen the ending from the beginning, I would still choose to make you happy!

49. I stayed up late and called you when I was mature

50. I stayed up late chatting with him and he was covered in acne, but he pushed me away and said he thought I was ugly.

51. Thank you for overcoming thorns and thorns along the way, and may all your wishes be fulfilled.

52. I hope that being with you for a long time will not lead to boredom!

53. If there are so many ifs, how can there be so many right and wrong?

54. Originally I just wanted to hear your good night, but accidentally, it was dawn.

55. I am in China but have a jet lag from a foreign country

56. I gradually developed the habit of staying up late, but unfortunately no one came to tell me that staying up late is bad for my health.

57. Compared to waking up in the early morning, I prefer the quietness of the night.

58. Later I became addicted to staying up late, but I got used to no one caring about me.

59. I can’t sleep because I can’t wait for your good night.

60. I’m not waiting for her, I just haven’t met the person who can replace her yet!