Aunt, can I call you mom?

A pair of laboring hands as thin as dead branches, a bowl of corn flour as golden as a full moon, and a handful of green chopped green onion as beautiful jade are the deepest memories I have hidden in my mind these years.

Those hands skillfully knead the corn flour, then press them into a palm-sized cake, wait for the cake pan on the stove to be heated by the fire, quickly brush a layer of oil on the pan, and then stick the cake on it by the temperature of the oil. After a while, the corn is mixed with the smell of chopped green onion and drills into the nostrils.

When I was ten years old, I led my younger brother who was under five years old, and moved two small benches to sit around the stove. I watched eagerly as the cake bulged under the action of hot air, and was turned over several times by a shovel until the surface of the cake was fried brown, and I quietly lay down in my grandmother's big porcelain plate, proudly showing off its beautiful appearance to my younger brother and me, and constantly seducing us with fragrance.

although the smell is tempting, it is not edible. Grandma said that when eating, we should wait for all the meals to be placed on the table, and when the whole family is sitting around properly, we should wait for the elders to move chopsticks first. Grandma said that this is a rule handed down from generation to generation in the family.

However, there is only a pot of cabbage soup and a bowl of corn cakes on my dining table, and only my grandmother and my brother and sister eat.

in fact, a few years ago, every meal at home was very lively. At that time, there were grandpa, grandma, mom and dad and me, and the family was talking and laughing around the table. Although I am a girl, my family loves me very much, and I have never been wronged in that rural environment where son preference is very serious.

however, all the good times were broken after my brother was born.

When my brother was born, my mother, who was in good health, suddenly became mentally ill, which is "crazy" in rural terms.

Grandpa is a man with a bad temper. A "madman" at home made him lose face in the village, which was a complete humiliation for him with serious male chauvinism, so he took all the fire in his heart out on my brother and me.

I still remember that time, my father took my mother to treat a disease, my grandmother went to work in the fields, and my brother was hungry and began to cry. Listening to his crying, I panicked. I didn't know what to do when I was young. I just stood there like a fool, wait for a while, and almost cried with him.

At this moment, my grandfather who was sleeping in the next room angrily lifted the curtain and came in, bringing in a strong smell of tobacco and alcohol. As soon as he pulled me over, he kicked a few feet in the back and shouted loudly, "Didn't you hear him cry? Why didn't you coax him!"

I feel a burning pain in my back. If he hadn't pulled me by the shoulder firmly, I guess I could have been kicked out. At that time, I didn't know why I just held my breath in my heart and didn't cry out in pain.

Grandpa seemed even angrier when he saw that I didn't cry. "You are quite stubborn, dead girl. Go to coax him at once, and don't eat unless you coax him!" He grabbed my hair and picked me up, throwing it on the kang.

Grandpa turned his head and went out, regardless of the two of us. I didn't understand at that time why my grandfather, who once loved me so much, became like this. After he went out, I cried silently with my brother who was crying to death, and dared not cry out loud.

at night, I was lying on the kang, and my grandmother rubbed my wound with safflower oil.

"It's a good thing I didn't hurt my bone. The child is so young that I can't hit you so hard. Why did your grandfather hit you?".

"Xiao Shuo always cried, and I didn't know what to do, and then grandpa hit me", and my eyes were red with injustice.

"Your grandfather is depressed, and there are so many unhappy things at home." Grandma's hands are rough and rubbed hard.

"But I didn't provoke him. My brother cried, and I don't know what to do.".

"Yuan Yuan, what your grandfather did is wrong, but he is that temper. I have been used to it for so many years, and he can't change it. The children of the poor have to take care of themselves early. Our family has no money at the moment, and life is not smooth. You have to learn more and share more things with your family. If your grandfather sees that you are capable, you will feel better. "

"Well, our family will be fine, won't it?"?

"It's always difficult for anyone. There's no obstacle to it. It's good to live well.".

in order to treat my mother, the savings at home are consumed bit by bit.

In those years, many people in the village went out to work and earned money, and when they came back, they all built big red brick tile houses. But my house is still a low-rise hut. The yard is made of stones, and the gate is made of thick branches, which will fall when the wind blows.

In the third year of my mother's illness, my grandfather passed away, and my father's body became very weak because of overwork. He was only 1 kilograms tall and weighed, and he staggered and went to the hospital several times in half a year.

I have seen many doctors, but my mother's illness has not improved at all. Later, in order to prevent my mother from running out at night, my father found a bundle of hemp rope and tied my mother under the beam in the house, and the range of activities was only as big as that in the house.

after grandpa died, in order to let my brother and I have a better rest environment, my father let us both move into grandma's hut in the backyard and live with grandma. I often sneak into the front yard alone and climb on the windowsill to see my mother in the house. Looking at her uncomfortable appearance through almost all the holes in the window paper, I am particularly wronged and hate why I can't help her share some pain.

Later, my father heard from the villagers that my mother may have bumped into something unclean, which is why she has been bad for so many years. Dad, who really had no choice, listened to his advice and invited a person who "can see things".

The "seeing things" man walked around my front yard and backyard several times, then went into the house and muttered a lot to my father, and then left with several hundred-dollar bills in his hand. I heard from my grandmother that my father borrowed 5 yuan from my sister-in-law yesterday by riding a bicycle for more than 2 miles. Looking at the money in the man's hand, it was almost exactly the same amount.

a few days later, my father brought back a big package, took out some strange things from it and hung them in my mother's room, and took out a big bag of herbs to cook for my mother every day.

after taking the medicine, my mother slept very quietly for several nights in a row, and ate a lot more than usual, and her face slowly became ruddy.

When I saw her change, my father and grandmother both had smiles on their faces. My elder sister-in-law, who was scolded by her sick mother, also came back from the county on the Mid-Autumn Festival and planned to stay for a while. She not only brought back a big bag of delicious food for my brother and me, but also bought a cream birthday cake that I only saw on the TV of my neighbor's house. There were several strawberries standing on the cake. Yes, the Mid-Autumn Festival is also my birthday.

Grandma has only one daughter, the elder sister. Since our mother became ill, the elder sister has treated my brother and me as her own children. As long as she comes, she will definitely buy something for me and my brother that we can't usually eat.

My elder sister-in-law brought some fine corn face from the county that day. The corn flour in the city is finely ground, so it doesn't hurt to eat.

Grandma pulled some fresh shallots from the backyard, borrowed a small bowl of lard from the neighbor's house next door, smiled and told the neighbor that the eldest girl was back, and brought the fine stick noodles from the city to eat with cakes.

The whole family is happy that mother's condition is getting better.

Grandmother washes the onions, and Grandma mixes the noodles. The washed onions are cut into chopped green onions and rubbed into the noodles. The golden color is dotted with spots of emerald color, which is very beautiful.

The Mid-Autumn Festival always requires the whole family to have dinner and enjoy the moon. My father dragged my mother to the backyard. It's been three years. Mom hasn't eaten with us for three years.

Mom sat there quietly and didn't say anything. My younger brother, who had never seen my mother, quietly tugged at me and pointed to my mother's direction and asked, "Elder sister, who is that woman?"

Mom's eyes looked at us, and there was no emotion in her eyes, as calm as a pool of water. My brother shrank his neck, turned around and ran out. After a while, he ran in again, holding the peach crisp bought by my aunt in his hand and stuffing it into my hand from behind: "Give it to her, give it to her."

When the rice is cooked, Huang Chengcheng's corn cakes, delicious stewed tofu with Chinese cabbage and a bowl of pork belly given by Uncle Zhang, the head of the village, are appetizing.

My younger brother, who saw such a good meal for the first time, gnawed at the tortillas and asked his grandmother why there were so many delicious foods today. They were so delicious.

The elder sister-in-law smiled and helped everyone with food, and her eyes were full of happiness. "Sister-in-law's health has improved a lot during this time. Today we are celebrating, and it will get better and better in the future."

"When she gets well and saves some money, our family will also build a big tile house, so we won't live in this small shabby house." Dad said with a smile.

"yeah, yeah, save more money. Children can't drink porridge and eat pickles every day. You see how delicious Xiaoshuo eats cakes, and he needs to eat more when he grows up. "

after eating this meal for a long time, grandma's eyes are a little red. I know she misses grandpa. If grandpa could see our family eating together so happily, he wouldn't have died of drinking too much.

At night, at the suggestion of my elder sister-in-law, the whole family sat in the yard to watch the moon. According to her, people in the city would watch the moon on this day and tell stories about Hou Yi and Chang 'e, and the round moon symbolizes the reunion of the whole family.

Grandma is holding her younger brother, and his younger brother is biting the fragrant cornmeal cake in his mouth, so he can't eat enough after eating several. Grandma patted him on the back for fear that he would choke on the cake.

"Grandma, is this cake I ate the same as the one hanging in the sky?" The younger brother asked inarticulate.

"The one in the sky is called the moon, so you can't eat it." Grandma pinched her brother's ear. "Besides, you can't point your finger at the moon, and your ear will fall off."

The younger brother was so frightened that he quickly drilled his little head into his grandmother's arms to hide his ears. "Then why do they all grow round?"

"Because people want to reunite when the moon is full, people make cakes in the shape of the moon, hoping that the whole family will be together forever.".

"Yes, your elder sister was born today, so she was named Yuan Yuan", said the elder sister with a smile.

However, God always seems to hide that people are too happy. Just when we all think that life is getting better little by little, something happened to mother.

after drinking the medicine prescribed by the "seeing things" person, although she stopped making trouble, she went to the other extreme-quiet, quiet is a bit scary.

Dad's face was covered with gloomy clouds again, and he threw out all the things given by the "discerning person". The doctor said that the medicine my mother drank has the effect of calming the nerves, but it is slightly toxic. If she drinks it for a long time, it will seriously damage the brain nerve, and the damage is irreversible.

My younger brother gradually understands something, so he often goes to the front yard with me to see his mother. But no matter what we say to her, there is a lot of noise around her, she just doesn't say a word, and we can only stay with him quietly.

This year, my father, who was in poor health, finally couldn't support himself. After a sudden fainting, he never got up again, so he had to sit in a wheelchair all day, unable to do any work. The doctor said it was cerebral thrombosis, and the possibility of complete recovery was relatively small.

it's not just a straw that overwhelms the camel, but many. My parents' health has never been good, and our life is poor.

My aunt contacted my parents with a nursing home in the mountains, and the environment was very good. She paid for them to take care of themselves for a while, so only my grandmother took our brother and sister at home.

At that time, children in rural areas were not very sensible. They always hurt others intentionally or unintentionally, but they were never responsible for their actions.

that afternoon, I was peeling corn in the yard with my grandmother, and my younger brother came sniffling, threw himself into her arms and began to cry loudly.

"Didn't you go to play with Erniu and others? What's the matter? Who bullied you? Grandma asked him!" Grandma hugged her brother and patted him on the back with her hand.

The younger brother cried for a long time and then stopped slowly. He sobbed and said, "Grandma, they said that my mother was crazy and my father was a sick ghost. They hated it … They also said that our family was poor and we couldn't afford new clothes. Grandma, why do they say that? "The younger brother began to cry again.

when I heard what he said, I immediately became angry. I was young at that time, but my temper was not small. "You wait, I'll go to the back door of their house. Who taught them to say that!" He picked up the big broom sweeping the yard and walked out.

"Come back Yuan Yuan, don't go out and make trouble!" Grandma called.

"Grandma, they bully people"!

"What's the use of looking for the past? Our family's conditions are not good, and even if others don't say it, their hearts will be as bright as a mirror. What's the use of quarreling?"

"What should we do, just let them say that? It's too bullying."

"Come here, sit here and I'll tell you." Grandma waved to me.

"son, if we don't want others to look down on us, we must live a good life by ourselves. You see, the situation at home is not good now, but when you and Xiao Shuo can get into a good university, go to a good class and earn more money in the future, our family life will not be better. People, you can't be angry, you have to live up to expectations. "

"What should we do now? My brother and I are both young, and it will be many years before we can earn money."

"Now, you two should study hard, and there's grandma. Don't worry about making money. You won't be hungry with grandma.".

It's better to be angry than to live up to expectations. This is the philosophy of life taught by my grandmother who doesn't know everyone. In my later life, when I encounter setbacks many times, this sentence makes me summon up courage not to give up and push forward step by step.

The younger brother nodded inexplicably and wiped his tears with his hand. "Grandma, I want to eat cornmeal cakes, can you make them for me?".

Grandma smiled with a snow. This snack was crying with a runny nose and tears just now, and now she wants delicious food.

since my brother ate corn cakes in the Mid-Autumn Festival last year, he often asked his grandmother to cook them.

Uncle Tian's family in the village has bought a new machine for grinding corn flour, which can grind very fine flour, just like the one my elder sister-in-law brought from the city.

This year's corn harvest is good, and the corn kernels are full and round. This boy must have seen his grandmother take the corn to grind the flour the day before yesterday, so he made a noise.