The child who can't stop! Stop yelling, you can do these three things.

In "After School" program, it is distressing to have such a mother and daughter.

After a day's work, my mother came home, and the first sentence when she entered the door was:

"Wu Huanrui, what are you doing?"

Then, my mother shouted a little angrily, "Go into the house and do your homework."

Say that finish this sentence, the atmosphere of the whole family suddenly some solidification.

After that, the mother went into the room where her daughter wrote her homework and stared at the child's homework.

Watching the children write aside, the mother preached "earnestly":

"The first thing to do when I come back is to do my homework. After writing, we have to practice dancing ... what is mom working so hard all day for? Just for you, let you have ambition ... "

Mother immediately asked her daughter some questions at school. My daughter didn't answer, and my mother was a little angry. Her daughter loudly replied:

"Then when you get home, you can't talk to me? Shout as soon as you get home. "

Mom responded angrily: "You are not angry with me, I can yell with you."

It was not until the mother "pressured" again that their emotions began to erupt. Mother pointed to her daughter's B+ grade. "What is this? You tell me ","How dare you tell me the score of B+? What's the use of this plus sign? "

In the mother's view, a daughter can have her own time, and her own time is in her own hands. If she finishes her homework first when she comes back, there is still time to play, but her daughter will stick to it for a long time.

My mother is so strict because she didn't study hard since she was a child. Now she doesn't want her children to take the old road, so she is extremely strict with her children, hoping that her daughter can change her life in the future.

So in learning this matter, mother and daughter love each other and kill each other.

Many times, in the face of children's disobedience, mothers often use yelling to solve it:

In the face of children's counterattacks and disputes, parents don't forget to add: You are not so good, what can I do (you are not angry with me, I can yell at you).

In the eyes of parents, reprimanding is a way to urge children to develop good habits. It's natural to yell at children.

2

Ho, it can't solve the problem of children's study habits. There are actually thought-provoking reasons behind the roar that parents often use:

The greatest influence on a person's life comes from his family background. If the parents of the origin family are used to shouting to solve problems, this habit is likely to spread to small families.

It can be said to be a kind of "inheritance" or an influence.

In this regard, parents often don't notice it and think that this is the "correct way" to educate their children.

Even if the child resists, it is the child's problem.

Some parents will unconsciously have a sense of substitution when educating their children. I remembered my childhood experience, or I didn't study hard at that time, or I wasted my time.

Therefore, when educating children, we will unconsciously vent some dissatisfaction with ourselves by shouting.

This kind of roar is telling children that if they make a mistake, they must speak very harshly in order to recognize and correct it. In fact, this is because parents have an unforgivable child in their hearts, and this child is themselves.

Roaring parents have a characteristic that they can't solve the existing problems.

In the face of reality, we can only vent our emotions by shouting.

When we know the reason of yelling, we will find that the child is just a fuse in the process of "yelling". Maybe there are children, but not all of them.

three

Besides, yelling can't really solve the problem. There may have been an immediate effect at that time, but the side effects were great.

Roar more times, easy to cause psychological impatience or conflict, produce "overrun effect" to make children from guilt to impatience, and finally not only will there be no guilt, but also disgust and disgust.

Uncle Kai said in the program, I think it is particularly important for mom and dad to have a retreat and a sense of security. In this way, the child will not be afraid of failure and will continue to rush forward.

If you yell, it will make children question their parents' love at some point and reduce their sense of security. It is most important to reduce and stop yelling in time. As for how to do it, I suggest these points:

Yelling is the same as taking drugs. Once you start talking, it is difficult to stop, but it is easy to shout more and more.

Knowing how to reflect is a compulsory course for every parent. When you can't control your first roar, think about the reason. Why are you growling? What can I do if I don't yell?

With constant reflection, you can find more ways to solve your child's current problems, instead of yelling to stop them. With less yelling, it will become easier to solve children's problems.

If you are used to yelling and reflection now, you can also let the roar gradually decrease.

It is not easy for parents to reflect more, but it is really worth doing.

When the roar blurts out, calm down, look back at your heart and be self-aware. Is it because of your past experience that your current "hate iron and not produce" or helpless heart is mapped on your children?

If so, we must stop it in time. Turn the "external" heart to yourself, experience your inner heart more, hug yourself more, and don't let the "inner child" get hurt again.

Young children really need more discipline and training from their parents to form good habits. However, this does not mean that children have no right to grow up.

Every child has the potential for self-growth. When children make mistakes, parents remind them that they can consciously correct them.

Parents should not cling to their children's mistakes. On the contrary, believe that children can make changes slowly with reminders.

As children grow up, they will gradually understand their parents.

Many times, children's problems are actually mapping parents' problems. Howling is not the best way to solve children's problems. Parents should reflect more and consciously observe their own hearts.

End—