Looking for lines for the sketch "Reporting to the Leader"

A is the village chief

B is stupid as hell

C is the leader

A: Dear leaders... Dear leaders... Dear male leaders, beautiful female leaders... Dear male and female leaders, thank you for your hard work... (bowing)

Welcome to our Laoshi Village, I am from Laoshi Village Village Chief, my name is Te Laoshi. Our Laangshi Village has achieved some small results with the strong support of all leaders. I didn’t expect that it has alarmed so many leaders. Now I will tell you about our Laoshi Village’s self-rich expert who is too stupid to die. The leader reported his experience of self-enrichment. He was so stupid... This way, this way, don't fall, haha... Come... Come here haha... Come, come... Control... Okay, everyone, look, this is the self-help of our village. Rich expert, stupid as hell; with my help last year... why are you running back?

B: Someone will die...

A: Look at your future, come here... come here... It's true that dog meat can't get to the main table, and it will fall at the critical moment. Chain, come on! Don't be afraid! …Let’s practice~

B: Alas!

A: Don’t be wrong!

B: OK!

A: I am the leader now.

B: Alas!

A: So stupid!

B: Alas! A: Your family was very poor before, right?

B: Leader... our family used to be very poor. We had to "borrow" rice every day. Today we borrowed rice from Liu's family, noodles from Wang's family every day, and borrowed from next door. My neighbors would hide when they saw me.

A: Zhizhi... so poor! (Slap on the shoulder)

B: Other people have a lot of meat and fish at home, but if I eat a bastard, my life will be improved. (A covers B’s mouth)

A: Do you still want to eat the tortoise? For those of us here, eating tortoise can be regarded as improving our lives, you know? Even if you drink a bowl of porridge, your life will improve...

B: Yes...

A: See how you can do it? Fortunately, this is a practice. If the leader comes, won't it be embarrassing?

B: Village chief! The lines are too long and hard to memorize!

A: It’s been a month, can’t you memorize it?

B: Then you want to tell the truth? The more I recite it, the more I feel sorry for my conscience.

A: Okay... you are so stupid to do this... After the leader comes, as long as you memorize it word for word according to what I wrote for you, I will give you 10,000 yuan when the matter is completed? (Pay attention to the action)

B: Ten thousand yuan?

A: How is it?

B: Good now! Since the start of the Tongping project, the village chief personally came to our house to teach me how to raise pigs, and even gave me their family’s secret recipe. Within two months, our pigs were white and fat. The day the pigs gave birth to piglets, I I was so anxious that I was lucky enough that the village chief delivered the baby! My pig gave birth to a cub, and then another cub. It gave birth to 9 cubs in a row. This is all the credit of the village chief...

A: Haha. !

B: I am now a well-known pig raiser. The village chief helps people raise pigs by passing around money and treasures. hey-hey!

A: That’s right! That's right. (Where B pays attention to the action) The leader comes and keeps this state.

B: Alas!

A: You can’t be wrong!

B: As long as this (movement) is good, I can’t go wrong.

A: Haha... don’t worry!

B: Alas!

A: What? The leader is here? The leader is here. Don’t be nervous...

B: Alas!

A: We welcome the late leaders with warm applause.

C: Hello, folks! Oops... Xiao Te haha...

A: Leader... Hello... Hello.

C: Hello, Xiao Te, hello!

A: I’ve been waiting for you to come.

C: Haha, I know it’s not easy for the comrades to inherit. This time I went to Lao Shi Village just to see the new look.

A: We in Laoshi Village are all honest people and we only tell the truth.

C: That’s great…I heard that the person who was being treated last year was “so stupid” that he became rich this year?

A: Yes, rich

C: Call him over for a chat quickly;

A: Hey! I'm so stupid that I can't speak. I'm afraid the boss won't be happy after hearing this.

C: It doesn’t matter.

A: I still have a few self-enrichment experts here.

C: No. No...

A: Ah...

C: I don’t want to listen if you’re prepared; I’ll just listen to the stupid ones...

A: Ah...you want to listen to the truth?

C: That’s right!

A: I wonder if he is here?

C: Go find it.

A: Alas! (Say proudly while walking). Haha... so stupid... so stupid... so stupid...

B: Are you blind? Here I am!

A: I know you are here. If I shout, it will appear that I have found you! Stupid thing!

B: Oh!

A: Come...

B: Ah...

A: Come see the leader... don't be nervous! The leader is a stupid comrade;

C: Hello, hello...

B: Ten thousand yuan a time.

C: What are you talking about? Ah? This is it?

A: Uh! What he means is that he will make 10,000 yuan at a time this year.

C: Oh, I am ambitious... I am ambitious... Haha... I am so stupid.

B :well!

C: Don’t be nervous! Relax haha! Just relax (b pay attention to work)

A: If you can’t give it away, will he collapse?

C: Don’t be nervous...tell me about it. I heard that your family used to be very poor.

B: Haha! Our family was very poor before the leader. We had to "borrow" our last meal every day. Today I borrowed rice from the Liu family, and noodles from the Wang family every day. The neighbors next door hid when they saw me.

C: It’s not easy. Hey... these chickens are well raised... so stupid. Did you raise this chicken?

B: No!

A: If he didn’t raise her, wouldn’t it still look like me? Haha, he is rich and all the people are raised by him.

C: So stupid!

B: Alas!

C: Can you tell me how to raise chickens?

B: Well...why does he ask questions about chickens and not pigs?

A: How do I know what he asked? Besides, just say whatever is asked.

B: What should I say?

A: Are raising chickens and pigs the same?

B: Ah!

A: Go and change the pig into a chicken.

C: Come on...you are so stupid, tell me?

B: Alas! Our family was very poor before the leader. We had a meal of chicken but not a meal of chicken.

C: Well!

B: I rely on "borrowing" every day. Today I will borrow the Liu family's rooster, and tomorrow I will borrow the Wang family's hen. The neighbor next door will hide when he sees me.

C: Why did you borrow so many chickens?

A: He is borrowing a chicken to lay eggs...

C: Oh... don't say "chicken". It is good to borrow a chicken to lay eggs.

B: Don't interrupt. Well! I can't remember if you interrupt me?

C: Haha! No interruption, no interruption, how are you now?

B: It’s okay now. Since the Tongping project started, the village chief has personally come to our site to teach me how to raise chickens and also donated their family’s secret recipe. Within two months, our chickens have become more mature. The baby was white and fat, and on the day when the chicken laid eggs, I was anxious to death. Fortunately, the village chief delivered the baby!

C: Ah!

B: My wife...it’s not my chicken that laid an egg, croaked, croaked, and laid another egg. It laid 9 eggs in one go. It’s the village chief’s credit!

C: Haha...

B: Village chief, I didn’t perform well?

A: You have played well enough.

C: Xiaote! You are very well prepared!

A: The leader doesn’t talk too much, but everything he tells is the truth!

C: That’s right! Are you still an advanced village in family planning?

A: This is also controlled by the leaders.

C: So stupid... Come here and tell me how your village chief led you to engage in family planning?

B: Leader

A: Go... I personally handle the leadership of family planning.

C: I know.

A: Let me report to you.

C: Go over there! Come on...I'll just listen to you, you're so stupid, you're so stupid, tell me...

B: (B talks to A) Village chief, this is one more time! The leader of our family is very poor. We only have a daughter and no son. Every day we "borrow" from the Liu family's son today and the Wang family's son tomorrow. The son next door will hide when he sees me.

C: How are you now?

B: It’s okay now. Since the Fuping project started, the village chief has personally come to our house to teach me how to give birth to a son.

C: Ah...

B: They even offered their family’s secret recipe;

C: Really?

B: In less than two months, my wife has become fat. The day my wife gave birth to our son, I was anxious to death. Fortunately, the village chief delivered the baby.

C: Ah...you delivered the baby?

A: Not me?

B: It’s you. Gua Chi gave birth to a son, Gua Chi gave birth to another son, Gua Chi, Gua Chi, Gua Chi. She gave birth to 9 sons in a row. These are the village chiefs. It’s my credit...

C: Haha...

B: I am now well-known as a son-birth specialist. The village chief takes me everywhere to pass on money and treasures to help give birth to sons.

C: Good...good...good

B: How did I perform this time, village chief?

A: Sooner or later I will die in your mouth.

C: That’s great! Come...you are so stupid, come and tell me how your village chief led you to gamble?

A: Leader...leader...Hey! Leader...don't listen to what he says. It's all made up by me! oops! Help!