My uncle, who is twenty years apart, often talks to me about art and life.

Almost everyone will encounter some big or small obstacles when chatting with people they like, because we are not worried about our performance when chatting with people we don't like. Anyway, I don't like him and I don't care about him that much. When you meet someone you like, it's easy to be swayed by considerations of gain and loss, so your performance may not be so good at this time. My advice is this: when you meet someone you like, but don't know how to talk, don't deliberately cater to each other's conversation.

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1

Female♀

Keywords: disclaimer, business trip events

I am 28 years old and come from Wuhan. I haven't handed in a male ticket for six years, because I was afraid to fall in love again because of my emotional injury before, and it is difficult to meet people in two of a kind. Until I went to Shanghai on business and met him, I was from Gansu county, a boy four years younger than me. His parents divorced, remarried and had children. He lacks family warmth. At first, he also had a good impression on me, but he didn't dare to think about it. We all work in the financial sector. He is the company's first performance, and his ability is good! It feels good to talk a few times. I added his WeChat on my own initiative. Take the initiative to add boys for the first time. I went to my best friend's house for a drink the day before I returned to Wuhan. He came to pick me up and we were together. After separation, we contacted each other every day. Everyone knew that the future was difficult, but he said he couldn't be with me, which made him very sad, even in a different place! I like him, too ... He comes to Wuhan to find me every month, and it takes more than eleven hours by train. He has never been stingy with my money, and he is very considerate. Except with me, he didn't deal with my previous ambiguous object, although he didn't care too much. In order to play games, he was afraid that I would not be happy to lie to me, and he didn't always confess. Everything else he does is quite good. He can cook, wash my clothes, cut my nails and menstruate. But in the end, they did not really break up. They stayed for half a year. I broke up with him this time when I found out that he cheated me to play games. After all, whether you can get married depends on him. His father wants him to go back to the county to oppose his coming to Wuhan. Wuhan pays down 300,000 yuan. He is under a lot of pressure. He said he was in a hurry, but he still had time to think about playing, which hurt me. He deleted my WeChat in a rage. He sent me a short message for a week. He drank too much and talked a few times. He said he wanted to give me a future, but there is no hope at present. He wants to burn his bridges to make money this year. If he has hope, he will come to Wuhan to find me. He thinks I can't concentrate on my work because I chat with him every day. If I meet the right person, I will let him go without waiting for him. * * *

answer

I read your chat record, and he said, "If you meet the right one, don't worry about me and don't wait for me." This statement is a typical disclaimer, plus what he said below, "We were not quiet this year, so I worked hard", etc., which is somewhat similar to that: we break up now, and then we agree that after many years, if you are unmarried and I am unmarried, we will be together. These things mean nothing to adults. You all know that this relationship is fruitless. It's just a stopgap measure to ease your pain when you leave this relationship. You all know this is inappropriate. In love, there is burning passion, but when you really move from love to marriage, it is time to play a role calmly. Therefore, if both sides can't handle this matter rationally, you will never get a perfect ending. I suggest that this relationship stop here, consider it an affair on a business trip, and then start your life again.

2

Female♀

Keywords: age difference of twenty years old

The other party is twenty years older than me, and I am still in college. He looks very young. After claiming to be 90, communication is not a big obstacle. He likes art as much as I do. He is a high-quality uncle and will pay attention to clothing collocation. My education should be about 8 points. He is good in appearance, height and figure, and likes dancing. There are many boys in school, but he doesn't think they are in the same class. I don't like greasy feelings, because I think there are many things to do in my study or interest. Uncle thinks I am a simple and lovely girl who is not particularly tacky. She often talks to me about art or life. When I am unhappy, she will comfort me and say that I have the potential to be a fighter with money left. But I think he's anxious to have sex. I'm a stranger, and I'm a little scared. I'm worried that having sex after meeting three times will become a short-term goal, so I told my uncle that I might not end the sexual relationship. The next day, my uncle said that because I was afraid, he was also afraid of hurting me, afraid that I was too deep, so he decided to calm down for a while. * * * * Is he breaking up? And I want to be with him just because I'm afraid that having sex too early will affect my feelings. I'm in college, and I still have sexual desire, but I'm holding back. I don't know what to do now, I can only ask Lengda. In addition, I was always chased by people older than myself and secretly loved by little boys, but it didn't last long each time. My ex-boyfriend also said that I was too simple and afraid of hurting me. A man's heart is really a needle in the sea. Besides, uncle has never been married, will we have feelings? Uncle * * * asked me what I wanted to buy, and said to leave him alone, but did he want to keep me? I've made up my mind that I won't want anything from him, but he told me not to be polite to him. What I want is affection. I may know what he thinks, but I want to change the status quo and I don't know what to do. How to choose short and long?

answer

It's no use talking so much. This chat record is a short selection at first glance, and the appraisal is over. You said in your chat record, "I want to go to your house to play, but I don't want to have sex with you." I want to watch TV, cook and walk the dog with you. " As a result, people replied, "Go to sleep, baby." There is no response to your verdict, even if it is just an excuse. Isn't it obvious what he wants to do? In addition, he has two points:

First of all, he is twenty years older than you and has never been married. Why do you think this is? He's not gay, so why? Nothing more than playing, nothing more than wanting to enjoy this life;

Second, he bought you this and that just to provide you with something that your peers can't. He is twenty years older than you. Shouldn't he buy you something? To sum up, in fact, I look down on people in their forties for routine college students. He will talk to you about art and life experiences. What are these things? Can't he find someone equal or have a good fight with someone else, diamond cut diamond? Deceiving this inexperienced little girl can only show his own inner fragility. It's just that he can't control the outstanding girls of his own level and age. He will only lie to an inexperienced girl like you and show you the prosperity of the world, that's all. So, don't consider short-term choice and long-term choice. Such a person's character is here for decades. Can he change? This cannot be changed. Little girl, to him, you may be a pebble on the road, but to you, he may be the stormy waves in your life. I strongly advise you to be cautious.

three

Female ♀ * * * *

Keywords: my husband is worth hundreds of millions. Is he divorced?

I have been paying attention to teacher Lengai for two years, and now I feel that my marriage has a big problem and ask for help. I am 29 and my husband is 27. I am the only one who has a sister. His father died and was brought up by a strong and capable mother. We have been married for three years and have a daughter of one or two years old. Her husband is worth hundreds of millions. My family is middle class. I know I've stepped on many minefields. Moreover, my husband and I have a boyfriend, and my husband didn't trust me very much during our relationship. Later, she got pregnant before marriage, during which her mother-in-law strongly opposed her, and her husband insisted on getting married. After marriage, I am a full-time wife, and our feelings sometimes have jet lag. He has a bad temper and often quarrels about trivial matters and property issues in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. He often says that my pattern is too low. My husband has had three domestic violence against me, which alarmed both parents and led to still no communication. The last domestic violence I went back to my parents' house and insisted on a divorce. He disagreed and said he was willing to see a psychiatrist to correct his bad temper. I asked him to call10 million into my account, but he refused, saying that I had ulterior motives. Now his temper has really changed, but I think he is still very protective of me in property. He bought a new villa, wrote his daughter's name and hid the real estate certificate in the office safe. I asked him to take it home several times, but he didn't agree and even had a big fight with me. Usually, money is clear to me. It will only give me basic household, and all assets will basically not tell me, write my mother-in-law's name. I am really confused now. I don't know if I was climbing a mountain at the beginning, with photos attached. And it seems that my feelings for him are gradually fading, and I often feel bored and feel like a walking corpse. Ask the teacher to help me suggest whether I need to continue this devastated marriage. I can accept divorce or not. I am very grateful.

answer

I looked at the photos of you two carefully, but I didn't let them out to protect my privacy. You are a beautiful girl, and your husband is relatively sorry. However, seeing that your husband is worth hundreds of millions in the case and your family is only middle class, it seems to be balanced. You got into this marriage by getting pregnant before marriage, a little reluctantly. You are crossing a wooden bridge. It's really a pity that you are a full-time wife and haven't managed your marriage to your satisfaction. Your feelings are mixed. He often says that your pattern is too low. I think it makes sense. It's not that he is wary of your property now, but that you have not shown or may not be able to control your wealth. For example, if you ask him to call10 million into your account, what's the point? Can you handle this 10 million wealth? Can this10 million wealth preserve and increase its value? In his opinion, you can't do it. In his view, this is nothing more than your greed to get this10 million. You know, in all families with a little wealth, this short-sighted behavior is very taboo, and this behavior of only taking immediate money is very taboo. So, when you want this10 million, for him, it will even think that your way of dealing with finance is not good.

Of course, you or anyone else may say: this 10 million is compensation for domestic violence. However, these are two things. I don't know the reason for the domestic violence between you, and he also suggested that I hope to see a psychologist to correct this behavior. I think, maybe for him, this is the compensation he can give you. His newly bought villa also has his daughter's name written on it. To tell the truth, it's not bad. I have never seen anyone say that ordinary people can master financial power from the beginning when they marry into a relatively wealthy family. It is the daughter-in-law who gradually becomes a woman, and the girl slowly learns or has the ability to control wealth, and then slowly grasps the money at home. You've only been married for such a short time, how can you have financial strength? He may be worth hundreds of millions, but for your background, you have crossed many layers. You have never started a business yourself, and you may not know how many hardships, risks and sweat you have to go through. It's not easy. So, my advice is to look at what you really want in your life first. If you want a good material life and even more wealth in the future, then this marriage is still worth running. However, you must manage it well, otherwise you won't get the material things you want. If you are looking for spiritual things, you don't need luxuries. Eating and drinking is enough, but you need a good husband. Then you are obviously not suitable to be a husband, because obviously, he can't give you emotional value and can't take care of you like ordinary boys. As far as your beauty is concerned, I think it's no problem to find an ordinary boy as a catcher. People will naturally like you. Therefore, the key to divorce is to see what you really want. .

four

Female♀

Keywords: break up and get back together

After breaking up, he didn't contact me actively. If I contact him, he won't refuse. What happened?

answer

I tell you, the most annoying thing in this world is that you contact him, and he doesn't refuse, take the initiative, refuse or be responsible. And this situation is very simple, he doesn't really want to get back together with you. So, I think we can still put it on hold.

five

Female ♀ * * * *

Keywords: today is not what it used to be, polygamy

Hello, Lengda! I am 32 years old, 165, 5 1KG, my husband is 32 years old, 180, 80KG, I met in 2009,1/year together, 13 years married, and I got married at the end of April this year. When I got married, my income was quite equal, * * * * *1.5w//month. Now he has returned to work after giving birth. His after-tax income is 4.5W/ month, and my income is 7K+/ month. In the last six months, he is very busy and often comes home late. In late June, he accidentally flipped through his mobile phone and found himself chatting with his subordinates. The other party is single, from Beijing, older than us 1 year. I communicated with him at that time, either divorced or made a clean break, and one of them was leaving. It has been more than five months since June, during which he promised to disconnect many times, but I repeatedly found that the two were still hooked together. After work, I have an appointment to eat, the phone lock screen password, and various APP passwords have been modified. Now he also has the meaning of divorce, taking cold violence against me and ignoring the children; I also have the idea of divorce. After all, his heart is no longer at home, but my girlfriends have advised me that the children are too young and try to maintain their marriage. In case of divorce, the child will be his. I am very hesitant to divorce at this time, and there is also the issue of the ownership of children after divorce. If the child is only half a year old and belongs to him, I don't believe he can take good care of the child and ask for advice.

answer

I can only agree with your classmate's girlfriend's persuasion that the divorced child is his. As for the so-called efforts to maintain marriage, I personally disagree, because Wei does not maintain marriage, it depends on whether you need this marriage and whether you want to maintain this marriage. As can be seen from the wording of your case, in fact, you haven't admitted that your relationship with your husband has changed. In particular, you are still emphasizing that when you were together, your income was equal, and now the income gap may be a bit large. This has no reference significance for you now. What you want to say is that when you are with him, you don't want anything from him, but the problem is that people are not what they used to be! His income tax is 45 thousand, at least he is a small leader. Now his life may have undergone a qualitative change, and you may still be in the original place. So, now you can be sure that your husband will not change, and you can be sure that it must be a couple. You can't listen to what your best friend or classmate says to try to maintain your marriage. You have to ask yourself, can you accept him like this? If you can't accept, you must leave.

six

Female♀

Keywords: eight-character incompatibility

What if the eight characters don't match? Can you believe it?

answer

Sorry, I believe my life is up to me. I don't believe this. Eight characters don't match, sixteen characters match, and thirty-two characters may match. The key is that this constellation doesn't match. Maybe the constellation matches? The constellations do not match. Maybe a blood type match Blood type doesn't match. Maybe it matches somewhere else? There's always a match, just believe it or not?

seven

Female♀

Keywords: good intentions to do bad things

Today, I want to ask Lengda about his own quality ~ to get to know himself. Two examples: 1. I got a scholarship of 10000, and I am very happy. I thought I could buy it at buy buy ~ Secondly, I invited my familiar classmates to dinner, and I'm going to take no more than 500. But I don't think I'm stingy, but recently two girls have been telling me that I feel bad. Am I really so stingy? I feel that 500 yuan can buy a lot of things, but I gave up these things to invite them to dinner, but I got this evaluation ~ ~ 2. Walking on the road with friends at noon, I was pushed away by another girl. She talked to my friend and thought she was too disrespectful. I told her, and as a result, she said I was petty ~ I couldn't accept such an evaluation, but she thought she might have a problem and was too narrow-minded. I really don't know right or wrong now, please criticize and correct me.

answer

Neither of the two things you listed is a big deal, but I can understand your pain. When I was at school, I also encountered the same pain as you. This kind of pain makes me feel excluded. I think the only thing you can do in this matter is to make yourself better. You have no other way to play tricks, you will find it a waste of time. Moreover, when you graduate, you will find that it is the most regrettable thing to waste your time on such ineffective social activities as college. However, this first thing is worth pondering, because there is a profound truth in it: if you don't do anything, you must satisfy everyone. Then I think you set a wrong expectation from the beginning. This was your scholarship. You don't need to take it out to invite people to dinner. You didn't have to do this in the first place. If I were you, I might not invite people to dinner after I get the money. "I was going to invite a few familiar classmates." Then I will send some relatively good gifts on their birthdays or other occasions, and the total budget may be only a few hundred dollars.

When you are a student, you should understand one thing: many times, what we do is thankless. Just like when I was in college, I did the same stupid thing as you. I spent hundreds of dollars to ask two of my classmates to have their hair cut, and they were not satisfied after the cut. From then on, I understood that good things can't be accomplished with good wishes. After that, I will never do such a thing again.

I suggest that instead of using this 500 yuan to invite them to dinner, it is better to collect money. If you really thank some classmates for their kindness, you can thank them in other ways on their birthdays or at other times. In fact, they won't miss your meal.

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