A hilarious literary work

1. My boyfriend just told me today that I look like his predecessor. 1, I was shocked and speechless. Unexpectedly, he actually ... talked to Takeshi Kaneshiro.

I want to travel with my girlfriend on May Day. I hope you can recommend me a girlfriend.

3. No object yet? Can I introduce a good dog food to you?

4. What do you say is the craziest thing your date has ever done? I haven't seen my date for 20 years. Do you think this is crazy?

This summer, I am no longer single dog. Have you heard of overheated dogs?

6. When I was a child, my mother often warned me not to make friends, so my friends are all stupid now.

7. I had a dream last night that my partner died, and I cried bitterly. Wake up in the morning and find that crying without a partner is even worse!

8. "Dad, today is Father's Day. I feel so happy to wash dishes with you. " Stop it, son. Remember to bring money when you invite me to dinner next time.

9. Do you have any good watches to recommend? /kloc-less than 0/00000 yuan, about 10 yuan!

10. Please describe your girlfriend in two words. Where is it?

165438+

12. My mother asked me why I didn't go to the bathroom for so long. I was afraid to tell her that I was fascinated by myself when I passed the mirror!

13. I told you before: when you are well, the sun is shining. Look at the weather, you must be dead!

14. The value of blind date is that when you meet the blind date, you will know what you are in the eyes of the introducer.

15. Ask yourself, if you were someone else, would you like to date yourself? I can't even think about it. Really, how can I have such a blessing? ..

16. I want to buy a cherry and ask my boss, "Is this cherry sour?" "Not sour." "Then can I try one?" "No, but I can make you look at me."

17. I was too tired to work overtime for a while and shaved half my eyebrows in the morning. I walked past the bathroom door: "Wife, lend me your eyebrow pencil!" " "My wife handed me an eyebrow pencil:" Bitch, do you want lipstick? "

18. When dating, I briefly introduced myself. Me: "I am not short of money, but I like honest women." What about you? "Woman:" I am willing to marry you ugly B. "

19. The wife complained, "In the past, you told others to be good, but now why don't you tell them to be good?" Don't you love me? " I glanced at her chubby figure and said, "It is impossible to be small with your present figure. Should I call you fatty liver? "

20. On the bus ... Old man: Make way! Boy: There are so many empty seats, won't you sit down? Old man: Feng Shui is good in this position! Boy: OK! I let! You can bury it here.