Very talented teasing. Talk about funny sentences in the circle of friends.

1. Although you have a husband, what's wrong with having one more?

2. I fell asleep in class, thinking that I would take off my bra at home and put it on the table to continue sleeping, and I was too ashamed to go to school ~

3. My wife learned to set the computer power-on password. Me: What is the wife's power-on password? Wife: Your birthday. My input display is wrong, and it is still wrong to input solar calendar and lunar calendar several times. Me: The password is wrong. Wife: You are so stupid. Let me do it. Then the wife showed off her input in the keyboard: Ni Shengri! !

4. Youth doesn't always exist, so fall in love quickly.

My parents went out to eat lobster yesterday afternoon 1 1 without asking me to go. Later, I posted in the space that my parents didn't ask me when they went out to eat lobster. I must have paid for it. When reading the comments this morning, a sister paper said: It's a miracle that your parents chose you instead of peanut oil for the phone bill!

6. The day before yesterday, my mother and I went to see my father. When kimi turned around, she cried for the camera. I said with a smile, that's stupid. As a result, my mother said disdainfully, you still have the face to laugh at others. When I was a child, farting scared me! Me:

7. I can't let my feelings delay my fortune.

8.20 years ago, Xiao Diaosi wrapped several packs of plain noodles to make up the water margin hero card. Twenty years later, for a red envelope of 80 cents, I wiped my mobile phone and sent messages over and over again. Diaosi can never escape the fate of being played with, whether as a child or after growing up.

9. I wanted to live in my husband's heart, but I didn't expect many neighbors.

10. One day, it occurred to me that I wanted to see my buddy next door from under the partition. That was the most embarrassing and horrible look in my life.

1 1. Last night, I went to the supermarket and bought the following items: 1 toothbrush, 1 toothpaste, 1 toilet paper; 1 frozen dinner, 1 box of popcorn. The cashier said, are you single? I replied: How do you know, because I only buy one copy of everything? The woman replied: No, because you are ugly.

12. A classmate in the class took an Apple mobile phone and asked: Does my mobile phone look like a cottage at first glance? Why did she find out at a glance when she went out to ask a woman out? Me: Next time you go out, just change a deafening bell!

13. Invite friends to dinner. I'm not good at ordering. After turning over the menu for a long time, I didn't know what to order, so I asked the waiter standing by: Do you have griddle chicken? The young man immediately blushed: Yes, twice.

14. What am I like in your heart? Stars. I am so bright in your heart. No, it doesn't matter if you have one more or one less.

15. I just got a call, and a deep voice at the other end said: I have your wife. I was shocked: Who are you? ! Why are your hands so big? !

Chatting with a group of interesting friends

First, someone is sitting next to me. I used to slap you in the face. How can you squeeze into my invisible wings!

Second, it is said that all parts of the country are mourning for a guy named Hot this summer. How hot it is!

Third, let's break up, Mr. Summer vacation. Don't ask me why, because the cruel and overbearing Mr. Xue Kai wants to be nice to me.

Do you think I will watch you die? I close my eyes.

Fifth, at the beginning, stunning is completely rare for the world.

6. A man's greatest skill is to accommodate his girlfriend until other men can't stand it.

Seven, say what? I feel depressed at the thought of my weight!

I am really jealous of that woman. Why am I thicker than her?

Cherish me while I am still alive.

I won't watch you jump into the fire pit. I close my eyes.

I don't think you are a qualified friend. You better be my wife!

Twelve, the chicken's resistance is to make its own meat unpalatable.

Thirteen, I passed a lawn yesterday and saw this slogan: Today you step on my head, and next year I will grow on your grave.

Fourteen, people still have to go out for a walk more, otherwise they don't know how comfortable it is to play mobile phones at home.

15. Who can be as loyal to double feelings as RMB?

Sixteen, when God closes a door for you, he will also clamp your brain with the door.

Seventeen, you don't just drop the powder without laughing!

Eighteen, intelligence test is to see how stupid you are.

If God can't make me thin, then make my friend fat. Forgive me for dressing up beautifully, holding a fountain pen, frowning and writing hard, just to help Xueba get to the bottom of it.

20. If a lazy person like me answers everything, it only means one thing: I like you.

Twenty-one, life has no rehearsal, live broadcast every day; Not only the ratings are low, but also the salary is not high.

Twenty-two, teach you to practice knives, you practice swords, and you practice swords! Jin Jian doesn't practice prostitution!

Twenty-three, how many pairs of eyes were left after ten years when I was young?

Don't get tired of me arguing with me. Don't complain and speak ill of me behind my back.

25. Don't underestimate me. Although I can't save the people, I can endanger the whole life.

Twenty-six, I knew you were Uber when I opened my eyes.

Twenty-seven, eating is easy to lose weight, eating is not easy to cherish.

Twenty-eight, the so-called loyalty is just not enough chips for betrayal.

Twenty-nine, you stubbornly turned a Audrey Hepburn into a princesa.

Thirty, my own scores are all my own, I don't mind!

3 1. One night, when the physics self-study teacher was drooling on the podium, the female classmate in the back row suddenly rushed in front of me and confiscated the comic books in her physics book on the spot. The whole class froze and exclaimed that the teacher had cultivated a pair of perspective eyes. Who knows the teacher said on the spot: I want to cry when I read a physics book, but she laughs while reading it!

How are you getting along now? If you have a bad life, I will feel at ease.

In addition to teeth, there is love.

Don't be used to that when you grow up. It is easy to get pregnant.

Thirty-five, you chased me naked for two kilometers, and I'll be a gangster as soon as I get back!

After meeting me, you will suddenly find that handsome can be so single-minded.

Do you mind if my breasts are small? No, I like the feeling of childhood.

Thirty-eight, the female penguin quarreled with the male penguin and turned away. The male penguin wants to catch up and coax her. When the female penguin looks back, he walks so cute and wears makeup.

Thirty-nine, we have nearsighted people, we have acne and no youth.

Forty, you can't wake up a person who doesn't return your message, but a red envelope can!

Why don't you do your homework? What's wrong with being used by the original class representative?

42. Is there a love rat? I want to love you. I hope your sweet words fascinate me, and then you cheat. My heart aches, and I strive to reach the peak of my life.

Talk about the funny proportion suitable for friends circle.

First, without us students with poor grades, how can we set off students' grades?

Second, I am in the Jianghu, but there are no legends about me in the Jianghu.

Three, if you dare to mess with me, send your name number to the cat's paw hodgepodge and let MOppER spray you to death.

After cutting my hair, the barber asked me how I felt. I was silent for a while and said to him, I am happy if you are happy.

Five, thin, wear anything wild. Fat, wearing nothing is useless.

Six, we agreed to grow old together, but you went to oil!

Seven, when I have a fever at home, I will still insist on surfing the Internet. When I sneeze at school, I think it's terminal cancer.

Eight, I want to rely on threats to do what a good-looking girl can do.

There is nothing good about you, but even if I like you, you can't change it, just like if you don't like me, I can't change it. This is called fate.

Persistence may not be successful, but it will be easy to give up.

Every sunny day, you will always meet the right person. Don't be afraid. Good things always come out.

Twelve, don't say forever, don't say forever, who can promise the future? All we can grasp is the local feelings at that time. But life is made up of countless now, and every moment is forever.

Thirteen, I love you, it is pure fiction, and if there are similarities, it is pure coincidence.

Fourteen, love is sometimes like the feeling of drunkenness, the mind is clear, but the behavior is out of control.

Would you like to be my sun? I know. Then please leave me alone.

Sixteen, women don't care about decency, decency is because there is not enough temptation, men don't care about loyalty, and loyalty is because the chips of betrayal are too low.

Seventeen, because of your expression, I had an appetite in anger and moved from the canteen to the toilet.

Eighteen, three bottles of women: one bottle in youth, one bottle of vinegar in middle age and one bottle of medicine in old age.

Nineteen, I don't believe it. I only believe that a drop will last for three seconds and never part.

Twenty, I am your real frivolous, and you are my vigorous shallowness.

I thought the air was free until I bought a bag of potato chips.

Twenty-two, the nature of parents' meeting and mistress is the same, both of which provoke family relations.

Twenty-three, others are pretending to be serious, and I have to pretend to be dishonest.

Twenty-four, you said you would ask me where to go in the future, and I smiled happily.

On the 25th, you are under arrest. The charges are very exciting.

Go your own way and let others take a taxi.

Twenty-seven, take your hand and drag the child away. If the child doesn't go, he will continue to drag away if he is dizzy!

28. If something happens to you one day, please be sure to call me. I won't withhold my words or stand in your way, but I can come out handsome.

29. I seriously doubt that Yue Lao used my red rope to knit autumn trousers.

There are many people holding hands in the street. How many of them are getting married?

Thirty-one, men are excellent because of loneliness, and women are lonely because of Excellence.

What's the point of keeping you in the dark? I'd better hide you in the quilt.

33. God closed the window of mathematics for me, and by the way, he closed the door of English, blocked the sewer of comprehensive management, and even blocked the dog hole of Chinese for me.

Thirty-four, breaking up is boring. Let's play divorce if we can!

Thirty-five, you are my honey plum meat, you are my fish-flavored shredded pork, you are the double festival of Majia Hotel, and you are the delicious bottom of Xerox pot.

Thirty-six, I have worked hard for so long, but if I have a little talent, I should have some signs of success.

Don't think I am out of reach just because I am handsome. In fact, I am a sea of rivers.

Thirty-eight, some things don't need to argue, seemingly obedient, and secretly resist.

It's not that we are not suitable, but that you are more suitable.

Forty, hitting is kissing you, scolding is loving you, and not hitting or scolding is not making love with you.

Forty-one, read thousands of books, take Wan Li Road, make a fortune and be a heartthrob!

Forty-two, you let me down, and I gave you no chance to go on stage.

Forty-three, suddenly I will think, I love you too much, out of love or because I am unwilling.

Forty-four, don't talk to me about feelings, talk about feelings hurting money.

Forty-five, two is a kind of no three no four beauty.

Forty-six, you love to ignore me now, remember, you can't afford me in the future.

Forty-seven, I killed two mating flies. This is a terrible sin.

Forty-eight, fat is presumptuous, thin is restrained.

Forty-nine, the homework has not been finished, something is wrong, something is wrong!

The furthest distance in the world is not between life and death. But when the power went out, my house was dark and my neighbor's house was brightly lit.

Tell me about it.

1. Teacher, do you know Fiona Fang? No. Do you know Chengzu? No. Do you know who their sister is? No, sir, you have no idea. How do I know: the solution of the original equations is _ _?

2. I am especially hard-working. I have been able to do four fifths, which is very good.

Don't call me blind! I am not blind. Can I know you?

4. In the end, there will be a road and a dead end.

5. Junior high school friends have become goddesses, and they have all taken off their orders. It's just that I'm getting farther and farther on the road of ridicule.

6. Starting today, I want to get rid of my funny personality and be a cold person.

7. Words come to mind! You are just imagining things! Can't you get a bigger brain?

On the way up the mountain, the man fell to the ground and pretended to be dead as soon as he met a bear. The bear silently and sadly buried the man in the ground.

9. Interesting. I'm going to the school where I write.

10. The highest level of teasing is that you are cold.

You said you would stay with me for the rest of your life. I was so stupid that I forgot to ask if it was this life or the next life.

12. Emperor, do you still remember the summer by Daming Lake?

13. Military training is a group of funny instructors training a group of hard-working students. .

14. Throw the things you can't keep as far as possible, and you may bounce back when you hit something.

15. You cried, you cried badly. It's okay. Our water meter has long been broken.

16. If you use a honey trap, I will accompany you.

17. You are the wind, I am, lingering into a sandstorm.

18. Are you dissatisfied with the world when you grow up like this?

19. You go, you go, don't come back if you leave.

20. beast, let go of that girl and let me do it ~

2 1. Please don't harass, I am harassing others.

22. Life is over. . School is over. . Today is a holiday. Graduation ceremony. . Mix thoroughly. . Old. . Regret. . Dead. . .

23. Rong Er, this is jing elder brother.

24. If you are willing to peel off my heart layer by layer, you will be surprised to find that there are mitral valve, tricuspid valve, septal muscle column, chordae tendineae, papillary muscle, atrial septum, ventricular septum and foramen ovale, but there is no you.

25. If you really feel that the weather is unbearable, try to tell the person you like, and soon your heart will cool down!

26. At school, I learned to swear, copy homework, compare with others, rebel, puppy love, fight, poke people in the spine, know many dogs, and learn nothing else.

27. The furthest distance in the world is not between life and death, but the exam is coming soon. Others are reviewing, but they are previewing.

28. The girl I like told me not to be too serious about liking her, just make good use of it. . All right. . .

29. Xiaoming went to the seaside, and when he saw the sea, he couldn't help shouting: the sea! Mom! As soon as the voice fell, a huge wave hit his face. He was furious: it's a stepmother!

30. When I was a child, I always listened to the radio singing: I am a cake, and I like to eat ordinary people.

3 1. heartbeat law: if you kiss a woman and her heartbeat reaches 250, it must be first love. If the heart rate reaches 180, it must be cheating. The heartbeat reaches 120, so you must be in love. Heart rate reaches 80, that must be the wife. Heart rate reaches 30. It must be a dinosaur. If the heartbeat reaches 0, it must be a myocardial infarction. . .

32. A school teacher collected slogans to protect flowers and plants, and a classmate blurted out: Step on my head today and plant it on your grave tomorrow.

33. When you meet someone you like, rush up and give a kiss. If you two are really interested in each other, so be it. If he pushes you away, you have already kissed them anyway.

34. Looking at a temple from a distance, we can see our alma mater, with more than 300 nuns and more than 10,000 old roads.

35. By summer, we will eventually die of heat.