Do you know the secrets of chatting with girls?

“I added a girl’s WeChat account, but she didn’t talk much after chatting with her several times. Why?”

“The conversation with the girl I was dating was okay at first. But then I had nothing to say, what should I do?”

“I met a girl on a dating site and was blocked after only one chat.”

In the public account? People often ask about chatting issues. Many boys really have very big bugs in chatting. Today I will teach you how to fix the bug of not being able to chat.

Although you are chatting with your girlfriend every day, maybe you are still chatting with her when you read this article, and the content of each chat is different, but you definitely have not noticed that your chat is In fact, the methods can be divided into 2 major categories and 4 small types:

1. Chatting to enjoy the process

There is no actual content, it is also the so-called blind JB chat, but this kind of chat makes You get more happiness from the process.

For example, in playing games, the core fun lies in the process of breaking through each level, improving skills, and solving challenges, rather than the final result. If a game came out and you could kill the big boss with one punch, it would be boring. This kind of enjoying the chat has two specific forms:

1. Sharing style. The main thing is to share each other's experiences, concepts, emotions, knowledge, information, etc. For example:

Girl: "You know, there is a piece of clothing that I like very much. I looked at it several times and was waiting to buy it when it was on sale. But today I went and it was gone. I was so depressed." Boy: "Okay." What a pity, dear, what kind of clothes do you like so much? "Girl: "The black dress fits you well, and..."

2. Entertainment style. The focus is on creating and having fun, with both parties challenging and bickering with each other. For example:

My college roommate had dinner with her boyfriend and a friend of her boyfriend. While chatting, my classmate suddenly said to her boyfriend: "You will appreciate XXX more. If I had met XXX earlier, you would have no chance."

Her boyfriend replied: "Well, in this way I You can find someone who can do it. "

This is a typical entertainment conversation.

2. Chat to achieve goals

This kind of chat pays more attention to the results, has actual content, and obtains value from the results.

For example, if there is a leak in the kitchen, the purpose of communication is not to make the process more interesting, but to get the matter resolved quickly. The lower the communication cost, the better. There are two specific forms of chat that achieve the purpose:

1. Sales-style dialogue, which focuses on persuading others. For example:

Girl: I went to XXX’s house just now. Their community is very beautiful, every room has good lighting, and it is convenient for children to enter school. The kindergarten is also in the community... Boys : Just say what you want to say, girl: Can you change your job? If we make more money, we can buy a house with better conditions, so that it will be easier for our children to study in the future

2. Problem-solving dialogue, as the name suggests, is communication centered on solving problems. For example:

Mrs.: The bathroom is leaking. Do you have the property management phone number?

Husband: Wait, let me check

The proportion of the two types of chatting methods mentioned earlier in your relationship determines whether you are in a high-quality relationship or a romantic relationship. Low-quality relationship:

In a happy relationship, both parties spend more time enjoying the chat, that is, sharing and entertaining conversations, and the communication quality is high and the interaction between the two parties is good.

Bad romantic relationships are basically all goal-achieving conversations, almost all sales- and problem-solving conversations. The quality of communication is very low, and it can easily arouse negative emotions.

The basis of love is the emotional interaction between two people, rather than substantive problem solving. The reason why bad love relationships are formed is that many people in love chat with the mentality of a "science and engineering man", are too rational, and use problem-solving thinking to conduct all communications.

Girls often hope that their boyfriends can share more about their status and thoughts, and they don't necessarily communicate only when there is a problem. If you want to communicate better with girls, you must use the following suggestions:

1. Learn to appreciate and praise each other

Many people are troubled by not knowing what to talk about. I think An eternal topic is to appreciate and discover the advantages of others, and to share them with others through language or other means.

There is a typical feature of the period of passionate love: you feel that you like the other person’s every move and are beautiful, so you unconsciously put your own emotions into it, and then your feeling will infect the other person, resulting in love. Interaction takes the relationship to a higher level.

Normally, if you ask everyone to talk about each other's shortcomings, they can probably talk endlessly. But if you talk about the other person's advantages, you may run out of words after skipping a few words. Therefore, learning to continuously discover, appreciate each other's strengths, and express them will be of great help to your relationship.

There is a concept called "suppression" in school. It is indeed very interesting for people with high emotional intelligence to tease girls when they have nothing to do, but if you don't know how to flirt with girls, your emotional intelligence must not be very good. Many people have grown up This is mainly because there is something wrong with the parents’ education, and they have no effective social experience at all, and they often turn suppression into personal attacks.

So if you are inexperienced, it is best not to imitate others. You could still be a pick-up guy, but if you imitate blindly, you will lose your life as a spare tire.

2. Happiness needs to be shared

From a relationship perspective, a person’s value largely depends on what you can share with others. This may be material, such as money, or spiritual, such as passion, happiness, knowledge, and wisdom.

My cousin and cousin-in-law are like that. They often fight and make fun of each other. It is very interesting to meet their opponents in chess. When we eat together, the waiter usually smiles next to us and feels very happy. They can share their enthusiasm and happiness with those around them.

3. Have a spirit of entertainment. A high-quality relationship should be relaxed and happy, but a lack of entertainment spirit will often make the relationship dull or even serious.

For example, girls like to ask boys: If your mother and I fall into the water at the same time, which one will you save?

If you have an entertainment spirit, our focus should not be on discussing matters, but on creating challenges and fun.

You can reply like this: Then your dad and I were caught doing health care together, who do you want to prey on first? …

Infuriate the opponent like this, then attack the opponent, kick the ball back, and see how she responds.

In daily communication, impromptu “quarrels” with a playful attitude will bring a lot of fun to the relationship between two people. After all, isn't the most basic meaning of love just that two people come together to be happier?

For emotional issues, follow the WeChat public account "Uncle Love Science (cashushu)" to ask questions and provide the most effective solutions.