Humorous sentences between lovers

1, girls who go out for more than two hours are not called make-up, but called easy-looking.

2. Women are kind because they are stupid, and men are stupid because they are kind.

It is a habit for men to lie, and it is a need for women to lie.

4. A man with a lover is called conquest, and a woman with a lover is called stupidity.

5. Men don't make money, women are anxious, and men make money and women regret it.

6. What women can't forget is feelings, and what men can't forget is feelings.

7. If a woman is willing to dress herself up for dinner with money, then someone must be willing to invite her to dinner.

8. If a man is willing to do business in his sleep time, then someone must be willing to sleep with him.

9. Men are good at discovering the shortcomings of their wives, while women are good at discovering the advantages of their husbands.

10, men cheat because of premeditation, and women cheat because of depression of loneliness.

1 1. A man wants to divorce his wife after making money, but he can't make money and his wife wants to divorce him.

12, failed men like to compare their wives with others, and successful women like to compare their husbands with others.

13, the biggest trouble for men is too little money, and the biggest trouble for women is too much money.

14, my girlfriend wants to break up with me. I think I've slept with other people's wives in the past two years, so I don't care.

15, men learn English to prove that they are good, and women learn English to prove that they are no longer good.

16, you can use fire to test gold, gold to test women, and women to test men.

17, the poorest men don't bargain when they buy food, and the richest women bargain when they buy food.

18, it is an emergency for a man to kiss a woman, and it is a premeditated event for a woman to kiss a man.

19, before marriage, men should lend money to let women eat well, and after marriage, women should lend money to let men eat well.

20. Women have the idea of changing husbands before the age of 40, and men have the action of changing wives after the age of 40.

2 1, men study PhD because of their low IQ, while women study PhD because of their low EQ.

22. When women comfort women, they often say that they are miserable; When a man comforts a man, he often says that another man is miserable.

23. Women like to hear men say another woman is ugly; Men like to hear women say that another man is a loser.

24. Men's business is reflected in getting busier and busier at work, while women's business is reflected in getting salty at cooking.

25, men, the upper body is self-cultivation, the lower body is the essence; Women, the upper body is the bait, and the lower body is the trap.

26, traditional men are very pure before marriage, and they begin to get confused after marriage *; Modern men are confused before marriage and become honest after marriage.

27. A man gives a woman a bra to show that he wants to establish a lover relationship; A woman gives a man underwear to show that she has a lover relationship.

28. The man who is least afraid of his wife at home dares not contradict his mother-in-law; A woman who fears her husband most at home dares to contradict her mother-in-law.

29. Women save money to spend on their husbands in the future, while men save money to spend on other women in the future.

30. The useless things that men like to buy most are laptops, while the useless things that women like to buy most are shoes.

3 1. A woman says "hate" to you, which means she likes you. When a man says "hate" to you, he really hates you.

32. Women don't care about decency. Decent is because it is not attractive enough; Men don't care about loyalty. Loyalty is because the chips of betrayal are too low. ...

33. A man and a woman quarreled and got angry in the car. If a woman is driving, she will slam on the brakes; If a man is driving, he will slam on the accelerator.

34. When a man is rich, he changes his mobile phone first, then his car, then his house, and finally his clothes. Rich women are just the opposite.

35. The way to attract a man is not to let him get it; The way to attract a woman is just the opposite, that is, to satisfy her.

36. For men, the most beautiful woman is an unattainable woman; For a woman, the most handsome man is the man she already has.

37. There are two kinds of men, one is lewd and the other is very lewd. There are two kinds of women, one is pretending to be pure, and the other is pretending to be impure.

38. No matter how smart a woman is, she looks confused, and no matter how stupid a man is, she looks sober.

39. A man who doesn't want property at the time of divorce must not be a good man; A divorced woman who doesn't want property must be a good woman.

40. Men returning to China should also add a few words of English when speaking Chinese with China people; Returnees speak English with foreigners and have a few words of Chinese.

4 1, when men face a group of women, don't discuss looks; When a woman faces a group of men, don't discuss wealth.

42. My wife and I quarreled and ran away in a rage. We haven't been home for three days and nights. I'm worried that she will suddenly come back without saying hello.

43. The stupidest time for a man is to wear a suit to work for the first time, and the stupidest time for a woman is to wear a suspender skirt for the first time.

44. Women shed more tears in bed than anywhere else. Men lie more in bed than anywhere else. So men and women should not stay in bed all the time.

45. Beautiful women like to praise other women for their beautiful clothes, while rich men like to praise other men for their high income, and the final result is to lead the topic to themselves.

46. I will inform you about getting married. If you don't want to get a red envelope, don't inform me. When we meet in the future, you say I'm not a brother, so I think ... I'd better not get married!

47. No matter how bad the relationship between a man and his wife is, the relationship with his mother-in-law is also good; No matter how good the relationship between a woman and her husband is, the relationship with her mother-in-law is also poor.

48. If a man is fined for illegal parking, he will quarrel with the police and the woman will stop the fight. If a woman is fined for parking illegally, she will have an argument with the man around her, and the police will persuade her.

49. An old maid and an old maid are getting married. In order to show purity, the old maid went out to the top: one river and two mountains, not seen for twenty-nine years. The old maid went out to make the next couplet: one shot and two bullets have not been anti-Japanese for 28 years. Horizontal batch: fight tonight!

50. If you drink too much nonsense and stagger, and your goddess is still willing to stay with you, then don't hesitate to jump on her and kiss her! It's not too painful to be slapped because you're drunk.

5 1. Behind every successful man, there is a woman's support, and behind every successful woman, there are a lot of men's support. The man women hate most is Chen Shimei; Man's favorite woman is Pan Jinlian.

52. Tell a woman a sad reality, never assert how loyal your man is, let alone test him with temptation. You know, men don't care about loyalty or disloyalty. It's not enough to have temptation.

53. Men look at women, the most beautiful when they are in love, the most common after marriage, the ugliest when they are divorced, and the most beautiful after divorce; Women look at men most sincerely when they are in love, most bored after marriage, most hypocritical before divorce and most sincere after divorce.

54. Traditional women are honest before giving birth and begin to dream after giving birth; Modern women fantasize before giving birth and become honest after giving birth. Men like to keep accounts when there is no money at home, and women like to keep accounts when there is money at home.

55. A man entrusts his girlfriend to his buddy for care, and finally his girlfriend becomes his wife, and the buddy takes care of him; A woman entrusted her boyfriend to her sisters for care, and as a result, her sisters became her boyfriend's wife and could not be her.

56. When a woman's unit sends out 1,000 yuan, she will tell the man that she sent out 1,000 yuan and her friend that she sent out 500 yuan. When a man sends a thousand dollars, he will tell a woman that he sent 500 dollars and a friend that he sent 1,500 dollars.

57. The most embarrassing thing for a man is that his wife drinks too much and pesters his friends. The most embarrassing thing for a woman is that her husband's friend is drunk and pesters her. When she says, "I know I'm actually not beautiful," the man must never agree. When a man says to a woman, "I'm actually a failure," the woman will definitely object.

58. The man who gives money, opens his heart and takes out his genitals loves you. The man who pays, confides and doesn't dig his genitals has a crush on you. A man who pays for his genitals without revealing his heart is a package. The most shameless man is a man who only takes out his genitals, doesn't give money and doesn't show his heart. He's just playing with you.

59. Men have six looks: they usually like people; Cheating like a thief; Dating is like a ghost; Sleep like a wolf; Finish like a pig; Like a cat in front of lovers. Women also have six looks: men are like virgins; Eat snacks like mice; Love to talk and laugh like honey; Go to bed like crazy; Shout like a dead man; When you reach orgasm, it's like dying. Never laugh, and neither do you.

60. Women have two advantages, but there is a loophole; Although men have no advantages, they have one advantage; Men often seize the two advantages of women and use their own advantages to make up for the loopholes of women. It's called flawless. Why are men smart? A man has two heads. Why do women love to eat? Women have two mouths. Why do men and women get married? Men have figured it out, women have figured it out. Why divorce? Men know the depth, women know the length.

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