On "One Word Makes a Predication"

What I want to talk about today is: one sentence becomes a prophecy (while).

There is a term in psychology, called: self-testifying prophecy. The general meaning is similar: people will unconsciously act according to the known prediction and finally let the prediction happen.

For example, if you feel that you are not reading material, you will not use it to review even if you have time. You think you won't understand after reading it. The exam turned out to be a mess, and then you said to yourself, "Sure enough, I'm not cut out for reading!" " This concept is also interpreted in management: when someone tells you that you can't get along with this subordinate, you will unconsciously find fault with him: his eyes are narrow, his nose is flat, and he talks a lot of nonsense, and the more he looks, the less pleasing he is. As a result, everyone turned against each other because of trivial matters, and they really couldn't cooperate at all. On the contrary, if you believe that your subordinates are capable, you will naturally give them more opportunities to play and you will tolerate his mistakes. As a result, he will live up to your expectations and become an excellent and capable person.

Children are naturally easy to accept labels, even if it is a label that makes them unhappy. Parents' predictions about themselves, even if they are antagonistic ... confrontation is, for example, your parents say that you are a child, but I don't think you can do business. You are not convinced in your heart and have to do whatever you want. Then you will find yourself frustrated that you often encounter Waterloo at critical moments ... and then prove your mother right.

So how to deal with the negative predictions in our minds?

In the usual cure method, the way of "changing mentality" will be adopted.

For example, it is possible to realize these negative predictions, set a positive goal and turn it into a positive goal.

Or think of some beautiful language and motivate yourself with positive language. For example, people who are not confident say to themselves in the mirror every day: I am the best!

Seemingly simple.

However, when it comes to someone and something in life, it is much more complicated.

We know that there is a proverb, "Good spirit doesn't work." Many people often think of how their mothers predicted that their future would be terrible, and you made them forget it. An insecure person will say to himself, "I am great." . . Will he really believe what he says?

So as far as I am concerned, I like to change from a deeper level. I'm not asking you to set a positive goal, but I hope everyone can surpass it.

What is "transcendence"? First, you need to "know" it.

In my first-class course, I will feel guilty. In fact, guilt is a voice in your heart accusing you. Then, when you feel accused (guilty), go and see what your inner voice is.

For example, you "heard" a prediction about your future. How did you hear that? Did you come up with it yourself or was someone told you? What is the identity of this person who told you? Do you regard this man as an authority?

Do you have any objection to this prediction?

Still convinced?

What really makes people "in a word" is not the language and labels themselves, but the stories behind these predictions, which bring you emotions and feelings.

Because our fixed mode of action is sometimes loyal to a label (person); Sometimes, it may be because of fighting against a label (person).

For example, procrastination, psychologically speaking, usually means confrontation with parents. Time management and the like are all "technologies", although they are also very important, but if we want to fundamentally change, we still have to heal the pain of childhood. In other words, change your inner attitude towards your parents.

Some people think that a mother's judgment or judgment on herself belongs to her own (external evaluation), so she should look for her inner voice. This is a common treatment.

I don't think this statement is necessarily wrong, but it is easy to cause misunderstanding. In fact, the process of children's growth is a process of constantly internalizing external things into the heart. When we grow up, these voices will appear in your heart from time to time. Can we still say that they are "external" sounds?

Therefore, this sentence is very important: guilt is that there is a voice in your heart accusing you. Remember this sentence.

See clearly the story and people behind this accusation and see the details; Change will happen slowly.

"Growth has changed our view of the world."

Hua Yong

Certification System Department of China System Layout Industry Association,

China's first batch of intermediate certificate winners of system collator.

Hailingge New Family Paishi

Psychological consultant

Former plastic surgeon, stay-at-home dad,

Practitioners of Love and Freedom, Rules and Equality Education

Set up "Tuesday Reading Club", a series of spiritual growth courses and systematic arrangement workshops.

Help friends who are willing to grow up to walk on the road of parenting and self-cultivation.