Talk about male chauvinism in Chaoshan area

Speaking of male chauvinism, it is more serious in Guangdong, Chaoshan area is the top priority. Unfortunately for me, I was born in Chaoshan, where male chauvinism is prevalent.

When I was a child, I didn’t feel much about male chauvinism. It was probably because I was surrounded by such behaviors, and even children were accustomed to it.

When I was young, my father was often away from home. He was busy with work and often traveled for business, and was often away from home for ten days and a half. Even when he came back from a business trip, he would be away from home most of the time. He would give the money he earned to my mother and then disappear. My mother is in charge of housework, my mother is in charge of children's studies, and my mother is in charge of human relations.

My mother doesn’t think there is a problem, and those around her don’t even think there is a problem. She even thinks my mother is happy. Why? Because I felt that my father didn’t beat my mother and gave all the money to her.

In fact, it’s easy to say that the situation in my family is still chauvinistic. When I was a little older, I met an uncle who knew how to beat his wife, which I still remember deeply.

The uncle loves to drink and often hangs out with his friends. His wife cannot talk about him. Whenever she talks about him, he will punch and kick her. Our two buildings are less than two meters apart, and the windows are facing each other, but they are on the third floor and we are on the first floor. Almost every night, the sound of smashing things, his wife crying loudly, and the sound of fists and feet hitting flesh always made me feel frightened.

That uncle never hit his wife on the face, only the areas covered by clothes. The next day, just looking at her face, you wouldn’t know that she suffered domestic violence last night. At first I didn't know why he did that, but later I understood: because he was a pig butcher, he had to ask his wife to help look after the stalls. Every day when I go to the market, I see his wife selling meat at the stall with a smile on her face, and there are no visible scars on her face.

Only one time I saw her clothes blown up by the wind, revealing a large bruise on her belly, which was so shocking.

It’s not like she didn’t resist. Even her parents’ family came, but it lasted for several days at most, and within a few days she heard crying again.

In the minds of their generation, they still retain the concept that when you marry a chicken, you will follow the chicken. When you marry a dog, you will follow the dog. They will think that it is a woman's bad fate and they can only accept her fate. I never really wanted to fight. Maybe the general environment is like this, and most people just follow the crowd.

Later, after I got married, I realized that male chauvinism was so serious in rural areas.

Festivals in Chaoshan area are very grand. Whenever a festival comes, women will clean their homes and spend the next few days busy killing chickens and ducks, making rice cakes, and making lion heads. Wait until the day of the festival: prepare the sacrifices for worshiping gods and ancestors early in the morning, put them in baskets and let the men go directly to the ancestral hall or temple. The women were busy serving dishes to the guests.

When the men come back from worshiping the gods, they chat and laugh with the guests. When the food is ready, they go to the table to eat with the guests. Women usually wait until everyone is full before eating. After the guests have left, the men can rest while the women wash the pots and pans and tidy up the house. After everything is done, I have to prepare the dishes for the guests in the evening.

After the whole festival, women have to lose a few pounds. Women of the older generation have to take care of both the outside world and the inside, and work harder than men, but the decision-makers in the family are still men.

It’s funny, I talked about male chauvinism with several female friends, and all of them couldn’t help but complain.

Before Xiao Wu got married, she was the manager of a clothing store. When she was in love with her husband, his husband made all kinds of claims and even went to work as usual without her having to take care of the child. Unexpectedly, after she got married and gave birth to a child, her mother-in-law did not help her take care of it, so she had to quit her job and become a housewife.

When the child was more than two years old, she proposed to her husband that she wanted the child to go to kindergarten. When she went to work, her husband said: "Don't mess around all day long, just take care of my son. Money will be enough." "I'll take care of it." "What's he going to do? He can't even support himself, and he wants to take care of our mother and son!" Yuanyuan then complained: "The one in my family is only allowed to set fire to Guanzhou. People are not allowed to light lamps. Yesterday, when I went out to a party with my friends, he called me and asked me not to forget the time when I would come back. I counterattacked him, and I would not come back in the middle of the night like you didn't pay me. Can you compare if you are a boy or a girl? ”

Xiaojie is the only one among us who is not married. Her boyfriend likes to joke with girls, but Xiaojie is not allowed to joke with boys.

Her boyfriend said righteously that when men make fun of women, they take advantage, and when women make fun of men, they suffer.

Their thinking was indeed driven by male chauvinism. Fortunately, Xiaowu finally put the child into kindergarten and went to work, and her husband had no choice but to compromise. Yuanyuan directly criticized her husband: Do you think that in the old society, you still want me to obey the advice of the three obediences and the four virtues? From now on I will come back at whatever time you come back. Her husband will never go out to play after twelve o'clock from now on. Xiaojie insisted on breaking up with her boyfriend when he was having an affair with another girl again. Her boyfriend changed his ways and started hanging around her every day.

My three friends have jobs, ideas, financial independence, and their own circles. They are not traditional good wives and mothers. You will naturally feel more confident when speaking and can make your own decisions.

In the final analysis, male chauvinism is not unrelated to the ancient idea that men are superior to women and is a remnant of feudal thought.

However, this idea has quietly changed. At least boys will no longer be laughed at for doing housework. More and more men will not just wait for food with their legs crossed, they will also go to the kitchen. Prepare meals for the family.

There is an old man’s son near me. When his daughter-in-law was in confinement, he actually washed his wife’s clothes, including her underwear. This is a serious matter in the eyes of the elderly. They think that it is unlucky for a man to wash the clothes of a pregnant woman and will bring bad luck. But his son still washes his wife's clothes every day, makes the children's milk, and gets up several times a night. Although the old man objected and believed that raising children was a woman's business, his son insisted on feeding him himself, and the old man stopped saying anything.

When I gave birth to a child in the past, people asked me what I was giving birth to. People who give birth to children will answer that they are daughters, and others will say that they are losing money. Now that I have a daughter, others will say: My daughter is good and caring. Some working women do not have children even if they only have one daughter, because in addition to focusing on having children, they also focus on self-growth and realizing self-worth.

However, in Chaoshan rural areas, there are still many people who are chauvinistic, but I think: with the awakening of women's self-awareness, this phenomenon will be increasingly improved.

Day 5 of the third period of Wujie Writing Training Camp——211