Are there any good talent shows?

Well, let's make a simple and funny sketch. Find it on the Internet.

Blind detection

(Character A, a 61-year-old rural man is a rheumatism patient for many years, and he is also a serious presbyopia. Character B, a drug agent tester, is also a high myopia, with a myopia degree as high as 125 degrees)

(props, two chairs, a work table and a bed. )

(Scene, A walks on the stage with crutches in his hands, talking while walking)

A: I have suffered from rheumatism for many years; Spent all the money in the family to see a doctor; I had no choice but to borrow money to see the doctor; Tell me about the patient's life! Recently, I heard that there is a kind of medicine called "Zhui Ming Huan Shen Dan", which can treat: "Bone hyperplasia and rheumatoid arthritis, what internal organs can also treat AIDS". I want to buy some and try it. I've been looking for it for a long time. According to the address, this is the place to sell medicine! (A slowly pushes the door and enters the house, and sees that B is lying on the ground, feeling something. The old man is dazzled, but he doesn't see what it is clearly, so he says) < P > A: Why do you keep a dog in this drug place? Oh, my god What kind is this? Not small! (At this moment, B crawls towards A, and A shouts with one foot according to B's ass) Go, bite me and kick you to death!

b: ouch! Who is kicking me!

a: damn it! Look at my eyes, this is not a person! (hastily apologizes) I'm terribly sorry! My eyes are not good. I see everything one by one. I mistook you for that thing!

b: (standing up slowly) what do you do?

a: I'm a rheumatism patient who came here to buy medicine. Are you the agent of the manufacturer of Zhui Ling Huan Shen Dan?

b: (when b heard that she came to buy medicine, she thought that the business was coming, and she smiled and answered) yes! Old comrades come to us to find a stool to sit down and talk (B gropes for a stool to sit down)

B: Come and sit old comrades! (A also finds a stool to sit down)

A: What were you doing on the ground just now? I thought you were going to bite me!

b: oh! It's all a misunderstanding, isn't it? I'm nearsighted. I can't find my glasses just now. I'm almost blind without them. I was just touching my glasses.

a: oh! You are more blind than I am. Why are you alone here?

b: there's another one. I went down to see a patient for an advertisement. The fewer people, the smaller the expenses!

a: oh! Broadcast every afternoon. Those patients all say this medicine is god! I don't know whether this medicine works or not!

b: now you're right. let me tell you something about pharmacology!

a: then tell me.

b: do you know how the medicine "Zhui Ling Huan Shen Dan" is made?

a: I don't know.

b: to tell you the truth, this medicine, Zhui Ling Huan Shen Dan, is extracted from turtle eggs!

a: turtle eggs?

b: it's what people call a tortoise.

a: oh! I see, your medicine is extracted from a bastard! Right?

b: almost!

a: what good things can this bastard have?

b: let me ask you first: does this bastard have a long life?

a: long! A thousand-year-old tortoise!

b: think again, the tortoise often lives in the water. Why can't it suffer from rheumatism in such a humid place?

a: I can't say for sure. Only the tortoise knows if it gets wet!

b: you didn't study medicine, of course you don't know. Tell you the truth, it is because the tortoise contains a kind of rheumatism antibody in his body! We just extracted this antibody and made the "Death-seeking Pill". Do you understand this time?

a: oh! I've lived for most of my life, and I knew that bastard was a bad thing. I didn't expect bastard to be so useful these days!

b: you're right, it's very useful!

a: your leaflet says: "free test first, then buy medicine". Where is the testing place?

b: oh! I am the inspector, right here.

a: you?

b: why, don't you believe me? I graduated from a regular medical school. Didn't you see that my eyes are so big? I just studied!

a: it's not that I don't believe you, but you don't have glasses. how can you test them?

b: I'm very skilled in medical treatment. It doesn't matter if I don't have glasses. It's important to sell medicine. I mean, take medicine early and get healthy early! Lest big sleep!

a: ok! Let's get started. How to check it?

b: we will test three aspects and give you a diagnosis. Just listen to me!

a: ok! Whatever you say.

b: I'll take a drop of blood from your ear first to see your blood viscosity! (B feels and takes out a plate and a knife from the drawer) Put your ear out!

a: (muttering) I'm not sure. . . . . . I don't seem sure. . . . . .

b: relax!

a: only fools are not nervous, and taking my blood is not taking yours! (A slowly puts his head in the past, and B grabs A's ear with his hand) < P > B: I'm going to take blood, don't move! (only heard, ah! With a bang, A's ear was cut open by B, and blood kept flowing out.) < P > A: Doctor, I heard wrong just now! Do you take a drop of blood or a catty of blood?

b: didn't I tell you to stop moving? why are you always shivering!

a: with your eyes, everyone has to tremble!

b: all right! There is enough blood, so hurry up and cover your ears with a cloth. (A took the cloth and covered your ears and mouth, but kept saying) < P > A: What blood is enough? I have seen too much!

b: now kneel on the bed with your hands on your back and your head facing west. After reading the blood viscosity, I'll go over and test the second item for you.

a: (walking slowly to the bed, he said to himself:) My ear hurts. What rushes east and west? What a thing!

b: (after a while, b gropes his way to the bed and touches a's ass and says) lift it up! (A lifts his hips up) Why does this old man wear such a big mask? His face is big enough! Take off the mask!

a: a mask? I didn't wear a mask. Wow, doctor, you're mistaken! That's my ass! My head is over here!

b: look at you. didn't I tell you that your head is rushing west? why did you rush your ass west! (B touches A's head, presses A's cervical vertebra several times, and says to A) Now you say, Ah!

a: (a says in a trembling voice) ah!

b: (b said harshly) it's too serious!

a: (a asks the doctor) doctor, it seems that rheumatism is not checked like this, right?

b: listen to me! Come down.

a: (a slowly gets out of bed and says) that's right, you can't tell your face from your ass!

b: come here, and I'll take your pulse. Give me your left hand!

a: doctor, I can't use my left hand.

b: if I say yes, I need my left hand. Haven't you ever heard of men left and women right! (A, I can't reach out my left arm. B, while feeling the pulse, asks) How many years have you been rheumatic?

a: oh, I have rheumatism for years! When I was very young, my mother told me that I had rheumatism. It was windy and rainy, and my leg hurt badly! The older you get, the more serious the disease becomes!

b: oh, come on, I have learned about your illness through the examination just now and my pulse!

a: then what exactly is my diagnosis?

b: based on my years of experience and the length of your illness, I can conclude that you have a typical "congenital postpartum rheumatism"!

a: ah! What do you think from my context?

b: your veins are very unstable, so take "Zhui Shui Huan Dan" as soon as possible! Promise you won't hurt again!

a: what if it still hurts?

b: then you can keep eating, promise! One day the pain will slowly disappear!

a: I see, you mean it won't hurt when you die!

b: what is this!

a: doctor, you are really a wonderful doctor. I admire you so much. The arm you took my pulse just now is a prosthesis! (A turns around and walks out, and keeps saying) What good things can be extracted from a bastard! I think you and your medicine are the same, both extracted from bastard!

b: old comrades! I'm not finished yet. . . . . . !