Going against the sky and changing your life is not as simple as talking about it. But to pay more efforts and costs.

Many years ago, the movie "Nezha" swept the country. There is also a classic line, "My life is up to me, whether I am a demon or an immortal". It makes me explode inside.

Reality is like a pot of cold water poured on my body, leaving only a trace of warmth on my body. My body is cold from my heart to my toes.

Everyone wants to change his life, but not everyone can succeed. More is bent by the trivial things of life, entangled in the pace of changing fate. In most cases, it is not your enemies that stop you, but your relatives.

Chu and Han contended, but Xiang Bo was the biggest stumbling block around Xiang Yu. Although Xiang Bo was an uncle of Xiang Yu, he didn't help Liu Bang to harm Xiang Yu. Finally, Xiang Yu died penniless, while Xiang Bo enjoyed his old age.

Since the day of the uprising, Xiang Yu's fate has long been intertwined with that of Xiang Bo. If you want to change your life, you must eliminate the factor with the biggest variable. Otherwise, changing a person's life is just empty talk.

We may not be immersed in the fate of some movie. Because there are many people like Xiang Bo who stop you from doing this, you will realize that these things are not easy for you to do.

In fact, the so-called destiny takes a hand is only determined by the living environment. Due to environmental changes and those unpredictable factors, opportunities become less clear. Some people think that instead of chasing uncertain opportunities, it is better to seize the most certain interests. Because everyone wants to be the last beneficiary.

I think vanity and interests are constantly at work, which leads to a family problem.

As the saying goes, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are a pair of enemies. Who says it's not? Is this fate? Can you still change your life? Who is the decisive factor?

But you will also find that vanity and interests are the principles that cause disputes every time.

Mother-in-law will ask her new wife to bring her tea and water, reflecting her position in the whole family. However, the daughter-in-law is spoiled at home. How can she persuade her mother-in-law to tell her what to do? Obviously not.

What can I do as a husband and son at this time? No matter who you help at this time, it is wrong.

If you keep defending your daughter-in-law and alienating your mother, the biggest harm in the future will be your children. Living in such a family environment, children will become disrespectful when they grow up, and even you are the most despised father.

If you keep defending your mother, it means that your family will fall apart in the near future. Your child becomes a member of a single parent family.

Do you let it go, or do you let this stalled car crash into the building, causing great disaster? In the end, you still suffer. In order not to let the tragedy happen, you can only change your life.

In fact, we should understand that this is caused by their vanity and interests, so you should be their punching bag, let them take it out on you and let them put down their resentment.

It's not like you let your daughter-in-law submit to humiliation, let alone your mother submit to humiliation. That will only complicate the problem.

Once, my daughter-in-law and my mother quarreled. It turned out to be because of the children's education. My mother thinks that children sometimes cry, which is good for their physical growth. But my daughter-in-law thought what my mother did was child abuse, so they caused an argument.

And I want to have an attitude of distinguishing right from wrong, not biased. Otherwise, it will only make things worse.

No matter whose fault it is, your first step is to stop it in time to prevent further development. Then no matter who has a problem afterwards, you should convey the apology of the other party through your mouth.

For example, I said to my mother, "Beauty is because my beloved son is eager to have a misunderstanding, so I quarreled with you." She was sorry afterwards, too. Let me apologize to you. Well, it might be better to tell mom to do so, don't you think? ……"

Then I said to my daughter-in-law, "Mom thinks so, too. I hope you can understand his good intentions. Then she also decided to change her method. Mom also said that she would pay attention to this problem in the future. If I don't find my mother's problem, you can tell me and I'll tell my mother, so that the gap between you and your mother can be reduced. What do you think? "

In fact, after you pulled them away, before you said these words to them, you must have been scolded and complained by your daughter-in-law and mother. Why not help each other? At the same time, you are cursing each other for not respecting yourself.

Do we want to spread these words to each other's ears, or do we hate our daughter-in-law and mother? Of course not, but learn to be their punching bag. Only in this way can you express your dissatisfaction.

The reason why there is a contradiction between the two sides must be that one side has a problem with its behavior or misunderstood the other side's intention. So we should point out their mistakes or explain the ins and outs of this matter in time, instead of letting them indulge her behavior.

If you let others indulge him, you will actually make others hate her more. We must point out their mistakes for the sake of her and her family. Then let her win the respect of others with her own behavior, not your shelter.

I am both a son and a husband. In the face of my mother's problems, should I ask my daughter-in-law to be patient or point out her problems? It is not important to point out the problem, but to change her behavior. I told her directly what harm it would do to the children. I'm sure he won't do the same thing.

If my mother keeps making trouble without reason, right or wrong, the best thing for me is to keep my distance from them. As the saying goes, a man's heart is full of meat, and one day you can influence him, but you can't shield her. If it is a daughter-in-law, the other way around.

If we indulge our closest relatives, it is only a disguised punishment for them. Can your parents or your daughter-in-law always live under your protection? Obviously not, so you can only get a new life if you correct it.

Going against the sky, changing life, sometimes facing the closest people. As for the problem of your mother and your daughter-in-law falling into the water, I know what to do through this research. Welcome to leave a message for discussion.