soul mate

Tell me how you feel.

The feeling when meeting a soulmate is that the other person already understands you before you speak.

That is, the house that originally had only one window suddenly opened another one. Through his eyes, you see the world from a new angle, a colorful world.

That is, you have the same views and different experiences. You can share everything with him, from trivial matters in life to everything in the universe. You have endless things to talk about. In some aspects, he understands you. Even more than yourself.

That is, when you are at your lowest and darkest, the other person holds your hand tightly and walks forward, saying, "If your world is very dark, then I will be your sun." Then. , he really did this.

That is, two people deeply appreciate each other's soul level. And in companionship and sharing, they nourish each other and grow together.

That is, you will know that even if the whole world abandons you, you are not afraid, because he is standing by your side.

That is, whether he is successful or at a low point in his career, it will not affect your evaluation of him. You know what kind of person he is, and your appreciation for him does not change due to his circumstances.

That is, when you are separated, you feel that you have lost a lover, but one day you suddenly realize that what you have lost is the best friend in your life.

That is, it seems that you will never get such good feedback if you share your life with anyone, because no one understands you like him.

The feeling of meeting soulmate is that it would be great if you have never met it before. Because after losing it, it seemed like half of my life was gone.

I am grateful that our light cones once overlapped and that you changed my star path forever. Even if we can never see each other again, you are still the reason why my galaxy has not fallen apart, and you are the eternal component of the web of my universe.

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Let’s talk about some rational analysis

A lot People think that a soulmate only needs to be able to chat. But I think a real soulmate meets the following four conditions:

1. Can talk well (this is very difficult, it requires consistent views, a good sense of communication, and overlapping hobbies)

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2. Hormonal attraction (if there is no heart-pounding feeling, no matter how we talk, we are still good friends)

3. Consistent emotional pattern (this is very important, many lovers obviously like it very much) The other party can also talk to each other, but there are many conflicts, which are difficult to resolve and finally break up. Many of them are because our emotional models are inconsistent. For example, after a conflict occurs, A likes to solve the problem immediately, and B must make it clear. Pressure, I hope the two of you can calm down and stop talking. But such feedback may make A more uncomfortable. The preference for emotional mode is determined in childhood and has a lot to do with genes and family of origin. It is difficult to change. Whether the emotional model makes two people comfortable can only be felt after long-term companionship)

4. The objective conditions are met (for example, everyone is single, and the age gap should not be too large. The wife is too old, for example, it is best not to live in a different place, etc.)

A true soulmate is one who satisfies four points at the same time. Of course, no two people are born to be 100% compatible. In my opinion, for the first point, it is already good to reach 60% of the compatibility in the beginning. More tacit understanding will be slowly blended in the future experience together. Cultivated.

But even so, it is still difficult to find a soulmate who is truly suitable to be together. Who wouldn’t envy Yang Jiang and Qian Zhongshu’s love? After all, soulmate is the ultimate luxury in life. So I think it is normal to not find a soulmate in life. If you are lucky enough to find one, it is a gift from God.

The above summary comes from my personal experience and has no theoretical basis. Writing it out is also a kind of farewell to the past. Regarding the future, I still tell myself that I must be full of enthusiasm and expectations.

If you are also looking for a soulmate, I wish you find your own sun.

It doesn’t matter if you don’t get what you want,

Just be your own light.

The above content is transferred from Zhihu