The "evil mother-in-law" issued an open letter to teach her daughter-in-law-to-be a lesson, and the father-in-law replied with a letter to counterattack, should we still get married?

A few days ago, the Associated Press published a letter written by Su Ping, the mother-in-law-to-be, to Su Su, the daughter-in-law-to-be, saying that she could not accept divorce and that as a woman, she wanted to complete a happy family. This caused an uproar and netizens scolded her. Su Ping, her mother-in-law, was feeling grievances and kept doing nothing. She wrote a new article "It's So Okay to Be a Bad Mother-in-Law" in response to the Internet storm. Various netizens ghost-written it and pretended to be family members in response. On January 5th, Susu’s father-in-law, @baisheyouren, the real father-in-law, wrote back to refute his views, and netizens cheered. Currently, at Su Ping's request, the Associated Press has deleted articles and Weibo discussions related to the prospective mother-in-law's letter. Follow the WeChat public account itotii for free, and you will receive exciting articles from itotii.com every day. You will also have the opportunity to have a one-on-one private chat with the editor-in-chief Xiaomo. See you on WeChat! Su Ping's "Written to the Prospective Daughter-in-law"

The son's wedding date has been set, but because he has been away on business for a long time, he will not be able to return to Han until around January 10th. After returning, he will need to apply for a marriage certificate and get married in early February. Have a wedding. Before they received their marriage certificate, I still had some concerns, so I sent a long "text message" to my daughter-in-law-to-be. I posted it online today, hoping to get everyone's understanding and help! Thanks!

Written to the daughter-in-law-to-be

Hello Susu!

Before you decide to get a marriage certificate, I would like to say a few words. Are you willing to refer to it?

I am Lan Tian’s mother. Like all mothers in the world, I cherish my children very much. If there are special circumstances, I can give up everything for my son, including my life! For a long time, I have prayed that he would find a gentle, upright, virtuous and progressive girl as his lifelong partner, so that our love for him could be relayed by someone. But as for him, as long as he is introduced by others, no matter how good or suitable the conditions are, he will never meet her. He has to look for her in the vast sea of ??people by himself, but "people have searched for her for hundreds of times, but that person is there, in the dim light." "It wasn't until the beginning of this year that I met you after being introduced by Aunt Zhou. Although there are some differences between you, our elders also tried to intervene, but he felt that you were the only one to do it - this was unique in his past life experience! Maybe this is fate. We have to respect our son's own choice. I believe that his choice naturally has his own standards - you are attractive to him!

It’s not my mother’s preference. The fact is that my son should be an outstanding young man. You have also heard people praise him inadvertently. My son's heart is as clear as water, he is eager to learn and motivated, and he is full of responsibility and compassion. As a doctor of engineering from a prestigious university, he is also very interested in politics, economics, history, and technology. He has also written hundreds of thousands of words of novels in his spare time. He also has a talent for music. He only had 11 lessons with a teacher in the year he graduated from elementary school, but his grades were better than those of his classmates who had studied for several years (at the same level, more than ten classmates took the exam, and he was the only one who got an excellent grade, and many others got an excellent grade. One is good, and two are passing), which can be regarded as comprehensive development. In our unit, the elders who watched him grow up regarded him as a myth and as a model for educating their children. They said, "Look at Brother Lantian..." I taught him from a young age to learn the spirit of bamboo, "There is discipline before it is unearthed." "Even Ling Yun is still modest." Although he has obtained the highest degree, he is not arrogant or conceited at all. Until now, he is still constantly seeking knowledge and self-study. He has applied for three patents and been approved for two, and has worked hard to take various exams. Registration certificate. He has never been in the habit of stretching out his hand, let alone waiting to gnaw on the old man. He will use his own efforts to create life and embody value. He is responsible and has a sense of responsibility. When he gets married, he wants to use his own abilities to support his family and raise his children! My son is kind-hearted by nature, respects the elderly and loves the young, is willing to help others, is very generous, and has the spirit of a real man.

As the saying goes: No gold is pure and no one is perfect. The great man Mao Zedong was still criticized by Sanqi, not to mention that my son is a layman? His biggest shortcoming is also a genetic shortcoming, which may be an advantage from another perspective. One is: I don’t know how to behave in a tactful manner, I don’t know how to follow the crowd, I don’t know how to deceive superiors and deceive others, and I don’t know how to please and behave! He says whatever he wants, and what is in his heart is written on his face. He has no scheming, no fuss, and no defense. He does things and treats people wholeheartedly, and will not lie. In the eyes of ordinary people, he is very foolish, and even looks down upon him, but my mother knows that my son has a strong balance in his heart. He knows good from bad, can distinguish good from bad, and has a sense of justice and compassion.

He never cares about what others think of him, he only cares about whether he has the strength. He even ignores the ridicule of those who despise him and moves forward firmly towards his goal. The second is some stubbornness or even paranoia, some willfulness, sometimes not thinking from others' perspective, and often simplifying complex things. Especially at home, he always speaks quickly to his relatives without paying attention to whether the other party can bear it. He regrets it afterwards and apologizes in turn (but he can bravely admit his mistakes and correct them). But he forgets quickly and makes the same mistake next time - this is a family inheritance, and his father is the same. Even though I get very angry at times, I still feel happy—our family loves each other, so we have nothing to worry about. But if you behave in this way, it may cause misunderstandings and troubles. Also, I can’t compliment his living ability. Many vegetables are not famous, let alone cooking, but I believe he will learn in his future life. But no matter what, from my observation, he has true feelings for you.

In general, the advantages and disadvantages of my son are at least 30% to 70%, or even 20% to 80% (two points for shortcomings, eight points for advantages). His shortcomings do not hide his advantages.

Now is a critical time. The wedding date has been set, but you have not yet obtained the marriage certificate. You are not yet a couple in the legal sense, and you still have time to consider a careful decision. You are both young and have your own standards for judging right and wrong. When looking at people, you must look at the essence. Before marriage, you must look at each other's shortcomings. You must torture your own tolerance. You must be responsible for yourself and don't regret it in the future. I have repeatedly expressed my firm opposition to divorce! If someone in their thirties is still not sure what they need, then don’t rush to get a certificate, let alone get married hastily because of the urging of your elders. You must be willing! This is a lifelong event, don’t force it! When you get married, you must truly accept everything about the other person, especially the shortcomings. I have the same requirement for my son: make a decision only after you are sure! If you are over thirty and still don’t know what kind of woman you want, that would be ridiculous and sad! After marriage, both parties should discover and pay more attention to the advantages of their spouse, find fault with themselves more when conflicts arise, and then communicate patiently - there is no overnight feud between husband and wife! After getting married, when two people from different life backgrounds live in the same room, it is inevitable that there will be many small incompatibilities. They must learn to adapt, then slowly change, and slowly improve the tastes of both parties. Life requires art, and family life must pay more attention to art.

Actually, we have no requirements for our daughter-in-law’s education, family background, job level or hardware. We only hope that our son can truly love my son, be loyal, reasonable, gentle, virtuous, and marry well. In the future, he will be able to manage a family, be able to look after his husband and teach his children, and know how to respect the elderly and love the young. No matter how good the hardware is, it is only for people to see. No matter how much money you have, you will not take it with you in life or death. What matters is the inner nature and character. When a woman looks at a man, she must see whether he is worthy of her life; when a man looks at a woman, she must see whether she is virtuous and kind. I am recognized as a happy woman. Many people ask me: Your parents-in-law like you, your husband loves you deeply, and your son is ambitious and filial. Why are you so lucky? In fact, as long as you love your family, as long as you are loyal, as long as you are kind, as long as you are kind, as long as you are magnanimous, as long as you can think from someone else's perspective, as long as you take responsibility, you can resolve all conflicts, you will be respected and loved, and you will be happy. Hardware changes with the times. No one can predict whether their political status, economic conditions and body will always be satisfactory. As long as there is true love, you can laugh at everything. , you can work and live happily. True love will not be influenced by circumstances! Many people's misfortunes are actually caused by themselves - they always like to compare with others, always feel that their spouse is not good, always seek perfection and blame, magnify the shortcomings of their spouse, emphasize their own strengths, and judge the gentleman with the heart of a villain. , so they seem to be inseparable, so they share the same bed but have different dreams, and over time they part ways. In the end, it is the children who are hurt the most. I hope that my son and daughter-in-law can truly love each other, be honest and honest, and create a good family atmosphere for my grandchildren. Only with the education of love can children feel happiness and know how to make progress.

No matter how many high-sounding reasons those divorcees have, in my eyes they are all irresponsible and innocent! They are all selfish bastards! Many animals have monogamous and harmonious families, and they all know how to love their children and grandchildren, but some humans cannot do this, which is simply shameless! (I grew up in a combined family because I suffered a lot, so please forgive me for being so angry). In fact, men are children who never grow up and need care and care throughout their lives; while a good woman is a school. She can educate her man with love and help him improve himself.

So, Susu, you must understand whether you really love Lan Tian and whether you can really accept everything about him! Otherwise, don’t get your marriage certificate! I really hope you all don't push yourself too hard! Don't bet your future life. No matter what decision you make, we respect your choice and sincerely hope you find true love! Happy forever!

My child, getting married is the most important step in life, so be careful!

Su Ping "Why not be a bad mother-in-law for once?" 》

At the beginning of the new year, I was almost suffocated by the sludge and muddy water on the Internet. Fortunately, kind and righteous netizens rescued me with the tonic of understanding and comfort. I feel much better today. I would like to thank you all very much! I wish good people a safe life! Write another article to expose the mentality of the evil mother-in-law. I am no longer afraid. This time——Reprinting is welcome!

What’s the point of being an evil mother-in-law for once?

A few days ago, I posted a private message on the Internet, which caused an uproar. There were praise and support, damage and opposition, and personal attacks. This was something I never expected. The sludge and turbid water on the Internet is almost drowning, and it makes me feel bad during the festival. In the Internet age, there are many different opinions. The benevolent sees benevolence and the wise see wisdom. I sincerely welcome it. I can listen to both arguments and arguments. However, some unscrupulous netizens maliciously attack people personally, which is really disgusting! This New Year's Day, I was so disturbed that I couldn't eat or sleep well, and almost died of suffocation. Fortunately, there are mostly kind-hearted people, and the countless comforts sent by honest netizens are like a tonic, waking me up from suffocation. After learning from this painful experience, I no longer feel depressed or bow my head. I want to hold my head high and chest high. I want to be like a cold brow and look at thousands of people’s fingers, but I still want to be like a ruzi ox! I want to declare: Why not be a bad mother-in-law for once?

Dear prospective daughter-in-law, before you are about to marry my son, I will be an evil mother-in-law and give you an injection of immunity and tremble a few words.

You are gentle and sensible. You are the apple of your parents' eye and their heartthrob. We are so happy to have met and fallen in love with my son and are ready to get married. We welcome you to join our big family! But with all due respect, my mother-in-law is like most mothers-in-law in the world. Her love for licking calves may sometimes be unreasonable.

I posted the letter I sent to you online two days ago. I didn’t expect it to become a hot topic. Kind people expressed understanding, but unscrupulous people criticized it. Now I can’t care so much! How can I fulfill everyone's wishes, but I want nothing more than my heart. What I said that day was my sincerity, and what I said was my son’s truth. I have no regrets about sending it out. You can check out the comments from netizens. The positive ones don't show any sympathy, while the negative ones refer to me as an "evil mother-in-law", as if I have already committed a heinous crime. You have been coming and going in my house for almost a year, and you have basically gotten to know and interact with your relatives and relatives. You are a thoughtful girl and a young man with the ability to discern. You can refer to different opinions and reconsider whether you can marry.

Just like the "most awesome mother-in-law in history" hyped on the Internet, I didn't give birth to you or raise you. I didn't know you at all a year ago, let alone have any feelings for you. It’s because of your son that we met, and it’s because of our love for your son that we gradually fell in love with you. Of course, it’s because of your performance in the contact that we admired that we got close to you. I have made it clear many times: If our son likes it, we parents will not object. If our son does not like it, there is nothing we can do about it. To be honest, there are countless girls introduced by others, and he has picked up many girls, but he has never brought them to his home. We have asked him to take one many times, but he said he would not bring her if there is no suitable one. ". It wasn't until early last year, when we forced him to meet another girl, that he officially announced that he would "bring his girlfriend back to show you", and we got to know you because of this.

My husband has never been in the kitchen or washed clothes in his life. It is a standard family where the male is the dominant outsider and the female is the dominant domestic. My son occasionally does the laundry by himself, but I want him to do it himself. Paying for your family and love, I think it’s worth it! I can't stand those "housewives". Women should do women's things, and men should act like men. I sincerely hope that this tradition can be carried forward in our family history!

In addition, our big families are all in the same city, and we often get together on holidays. Now we are all only children. Once our generation leaves, your generation will have no relatives, so we value family ties very much. I hope You are considerate, at least don't be unhappy just because guests come to your home.

I don’t know whether the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will be harmonious in the future, but I will not put on airs or make irresponsible remarks in front of my son. Anyway, you have your own house, each of you is your own home. If you get along well, you often interact with each other. If you don't get along well, interact less with each other. If you have children, trust me and I can help; if you don't trust me, you are responsible for it - raising children is the obligation of parents, and I will not infringe upon it. If necessary and I have the conditions, I can provide appropriate financial support. I hope that you and my son will love and be loyal to each other. I reiterate: think clearly before making a decision! I am against divorce!

I believe that if you truly love someone, he will consciously accept everything about the other person, including his own strengths and weaknesses, the strengths and weaknesses of his family members, learn tolerance and tolerance, and learn to understand and support. Learn to help and help each other, and learn to think from others’ perspective. If there is no true love, the other person’s strengths and weaknesses are also weaknesses, and everything about the other person is bad, then break it off as soon as possible! Of course, I will also ask my son to honor your parents and remind him to express condolences during the holidays. He may not understand etiquette, but you have an obligation to remind him. In fact, neither parent will ask for it from you, only the water will flow downwards, but it depends on the performance of the younger generation. In fact, the "evil mother-in-law" is not terrible, as long as she is reasonable, she can live in peace; only a stupid mother-in-law will stir up trouble in front of her son, and will be against her daughter-in-law all day long, making the chickens and dogs restless all day long.

Although we are not related by blood, if you marry my son willingly, we will love you and protect you equally. Conflicts are everywhere, and disagreements are inevitable in life. When you have an argument with my son and justice is on your side, we will firmly speak for you and criticize your son; when the mistake is on your side, we will not criticize harshly or make a fuss about it, we will just Give appropriate guidance and tactful suggestions, hoping you can reflect on yourself. If you have conflicts with others outside, please don't expect me to be like the "most awesome mother-in-law" on the Internet. I will not support you unconditionally. I can only protect you from harm at critical moments, and then negotiate with people head-on after figuring out the whole story. , comfort and remind according to the actual situation afterwards. I believe that this kind of thing will not happen to you - because I find that you are more virtuous and know that taking a step back will open up the world.

Everyone is equal before the law, and there are differences in personality before the law. In married life, no matter how much the political and economic status of both parties in society changes, they must treat each other as equals within the family! Don't always say: "You are so useless!" "You see, you are just like this so far!" "If it weren't for me, would you be where you are today?" and other insulting words.

I can’t beg for help in such a lowly manner, even if my son is a bachelor! When Jiang Taigong fishes for willing ones, it's not because I'm arrogant or arrogant (and there's nothing to be arrogant about). I just think that marriage should be a matter of mutual consent between the man and the woman. Nothing gained by begging, coercion, or sweet talk will last long, you must be willing!

No matter what others say, I will say what I need to say. I think it's better to say something ugly in advance than to tell it later. If you hate your mother-in-law, you will hate your mother-in-law. Anyway, I’m not afraid! I gave birth to my son, so I have the responsibility to do evil first and then do good. At worst, my son will be a bachelor! If the gang breaks up because the mother-in-law is "evil", then it's okay not to have such a daughter-in-law!

The day before yesterday, I focused on the positive aspects of my son. Today I will talk more about his negative aspects. I will say the same thing: You must be cautious! It’s not too late to regret!

"Answer to Ms. Su's Letter to My Little Daughter" by Youren Baishe

Ms. Su:

Before my daughter and your son-in-law received their marriage certificate, you wrote to her It was an open letter with sincere words. It was originally written as "If you are not deaf or dumb, you will not be a family man", but I didn't pay any attention to it.

Third, we do not fully agree with the requirement in your theory of true love to unconditionally accept everything about the other person, and even accept the strengths and weaknesses of the other person’s family members. If you don’t accept a person’s shortcomings, is it not true love? This kind of discussion seems to us to be suspected of moral kidnapping. The prerequisite for true love is, first of all, independence of personality. Only a person who has a basic sense of right and wrong has the ability to love. Requiring a person to go against his own nature and accommodate the shortcomings of another person, this kind of humiliation requires a person to deal with life wholeheartedly, which deprives him of the ability to love. In our opinion, mutual tolerance in family life means: conscientiously negotiating with the other party and taking the initiative to correct shortcomings that the other party does not accept. In the name of love, asking the other person to accept their shortcomings is, in our opinion, the most damaging foundation for emotional life. Taking the initiative to give in the name of love and taking the initiative to ask for are completely opposite mentality, and the results will be completely opposite.

Finally, I sincerely thank you for speaking out, and I wholeheartedly agree with what you said at the end. Children do not have to change their choices just for the sake of both parents or "good" or "evil". Because it is not our turn to want or not marry their marriage. After all, their independent life is their own choice. Finally, let me go back to the sentence at the beginning, "If you are not deaf or mute, you will not be a family man." Only in this way can the son and daughter truly grow up. This is my only encouragement to you.