Afraid to answer the phone and talk about it

? -Crazy

I am a phone phobia patient.

Really. I only told one person, and many people didn't know the secret.

In reality, my relatives and friends can't imagine that I will have this kind of "disease" if I love to laugh and be cheerful.

I'm afraid to make and answer the phone, especially at home. Because I know that as I get older, my parents are getting older, and in the days to come, I will only receive more and more "bad news" from home.

I had one half a month ago.

Anyone who has read my diary "It's just cancer, I can handle it" knows what's going on. I won't repeat it.

In fact, I had had many "actual combat drills" before I received the "bad news" that my father was ill. The year before last, my grandfather passed away; Last year, Qin Bo passed away; This year, another uncle died.

No matter how I practice, I still feel inexplicable sadness at the moment I receive the "bad news", and I can never learn and get used to the departure of my loved ones. Fortunately, my dad is optimistic and has a high cure rate. I am also willing to accompany me for a long time, watching me get married and go back to my hometown with prosperity.

I can face my life and death calmly, but at the moment I received the phone call, I still couldn't let go of the death of my loved ones. Even though experience, religion and philosophy make me realize that this is just the normal cycle of life. Because I know that they are all people who have blood and affection with me.

As a person, I am not a bystander, but a participant in the war against the disease.

I'm sure you can understand why I'm "afraid" of getting a call from home. I really envy those people who can talk to their parents on the phone for hours. I used to think it was a waste of my own life, and it was also a waste of other people's lives. If you have something to say, just say it and hang up.

Later, I discovered that I still have a lonely self hidden in my heart, and I am not good at talking, unlike literary thoughts and words in the written world. It seems that this is not just a generation gap problem, but that I have really become a deviant "madman". And the way of thinking are completely different worlds.

Every mental illness can be traced back to the patient's past experience, childhood trauma and living environment. Although I don't think I have mental illness, I have to admit that something is really missing in my heart.

Perhaps it is a sense of belonging to home, or perhaps it is the integrity of the three views.

Let it be. People always have to learn to grow up by themselves.

Some people are slower, others are faster.

After living for a long time, you will find that no matter how you plan your time reasonably, there is always a period of time in life that is "wasted". Since it is destined to be a waste, why not waste it on those who love us and those we love?

I don't laugh at those who drink phone porridge with their families and regard their parents as "lovers' girlfriends", but I envy them very much. Because I know that Ta people have an emotion with their parents, which I have never had before.

Looking at the TAs talking, the smile on their faces is like the holy light of the Buddha "stabbing" me hiding in the dark corner.

Perhaps, in this life, I never have the pleasure of eating telephone porridge with my family again.

Hello, I am crazy.

I am just a nobody.

Thank you for seeing my asteroid.

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