A person is empty and never enters the world of mortals again, but what does it mean to dream with an old friend and wake up still heartbroken?

Alone, I originally wanted to escape into an empty net and become a nun, but I was lovelorn. After that, I stopped thinking about feelings. Unfortunately, I can't. Never forget it. When I wake up, it still hurts. This is really inappropriate. I can't become a monk.