Sentence humor jokes suitable for friends circle.

Sentence humor jokes suitable for friends circle.

Sentence humor jokes suitable for friends circle, some people are keen on playing tricks in friends circle. As a pair of funny men and women who exude a happy atmosphere, they share wonderful things they encounter or funny jokes they see every day. These people are very popular in the circle of friends, like a pistachio. Let's take a look at some humorous jokes that are suitable for friends.

Sentence humor jokes suitable for friends circle 1 1. Seeing two children chatting at the kindergarten gate, the little girl asked the little boy, "Is there anything you can't do?" The little boy said shyly, "I won't leave you." "Then what won't you do?" The little boy asked expectantly. The little girl smiled shyly and said, "I won't like you."

2. The father said to his son, "Don't go to school today. Last night ... your mother gave birth to two brothers for you. Just tell the teacher. " The son replied: "Dad, I only said that I gave birth to one; The other one, I want to stay until next week when I don't want to go to school! "

My sister-in-law goes to school and lives in my house. She often plays Three Kingdoms Kill with her classmates in my house, which makes me addicted. My wife is firmly opposed, saying that I still play games in my twenties. Once my wife was on a business trip and killed three countries with her sister-in-law and classmates. My wife called and asked me what I was doing.

I was anxious and said, "I'm sleeping." Wife: "I don't believe it." Me: "Ask your sister, she is right next to me."

One afternoon, I skipped class to play video games, and didn't go home until after eight o'clock in the evening. When I got home, I thought, "How can you lie to your parents? Dad will definitely beat me up. "

Suddenly I heard my parents talking to someone in the room. I sighed, "God help me, too. If there are guests at home, my parents will not ask me about playing truant. " I opened the door excitedly and went in. When I saw it, it was the class teacher ... and my ass was swollen.

My niece is five years old and has just eaten bananas. Call her "Baby, come and eat bananas!" She added, "You are good or bad!" I paused: "What's the matter?" Unexpectedly, she said, "Every time my father says this, my mother always answers."

6. Go home at 30/kloc-0 today. There are many people in the car. I saw a girl reach into her bag pitifully. On impulse, I went to hug my sister, patted her bag and said, "Wife, it's almost the stop." Then I winked at her. Seeing that I was stunned for two seconds, she said to the man, "Husband …" I'll go! Couple, I got off before I got to the station. ...

I once liked a girl, but she didn't like me. She said that the man she likes is the kind that no one dares to get close to when driving on the road. She thinks such a man is domineering. Last month. She is married. As she wished, her husband drove the sprinkler.

8. After handing out the test paper, the teacher said seriously, "Another student made a mistake in this exam. Let's take a few minutes to ask ourselves why. " I want an answer later. A few minutes later, the teacher called a classmate and asked, "What's your answer?" The classmate said innocently, "Teacher, I asked many times, but no one answered."

9. The youngest son dares to fight with others. Once, the son asked his father, did you like fighting when you were a child? Dad said, "I dare not." The son said, "Why?" Dad said, "I can't beat others." The son said, "Then why didn't you call me!" " "

10, Cao Cao worships Sun Quan very much and once said, "If you have children, you should be Sun Zhongmou, just my child, bah!" So his son was named Cao Pi. Sun Quan admired Zhuge Liang, so he named his son Sun Liang. Liu Bei has been obsessed with the story of Dexin, so he named his son Liu Chan.

1 1, summer is coming, and the female caterpillar is in love. She was afraid that the male caterpillar would not like her body hair, so she pulled it out. After pulling out, she looked at the smooth skin and was intoxicated. She hurried to the tree to show off the male caterpillar. Who knows that the male caterpillar kicked it off the tree: "Dead earthworm, do you still want to seduce me?" ! "

12, order lunch.

Me: "Master, a tomato fried with tomato covers."

The ordering chef shouted to the kitchen, "A tomato is fried and covered with water."

The chef put out his head and asked, "Do you want eggs and fried tomatoes to cover the water?"

Me: ...

Sentence humor jokes suitable for friends circle 2 1. The farmer slept naked in the orchard and was awakened by laughter. The result was ... a monkey stood in front of him and laughed wildly. The farmer asked inexplicably, "What are you laughing at?" The monkey said, "I have eaten fruits all my life, and I saw bananas and lychees grow together for the first time."

2. Three people praised their wives as the thinnest. A Dai: "My wife's scarf can be worn as clothes." Agua refused to accept: "My wife can fall into the sewer if she takes a shower carelessly." Xiao Ming said slowly, "My wife swallowed an almond and everyone thought she was pregnant."

3. Have you slept? Pigs go to bed so early! Haven't slept yet? Dogs are always so energetic! Want to curse? Monkeys are always less patient than people! Want to hit me? Bears are always so violent! Just ignore me? That's turtle style!

4. it's weird. Seven turtles are dancing, six lions are playing chess, five monkeys are eating pears, four donkeys are chasing Shu Kei, three mice are patting level three, two crabs are playing Tai Chi, and a little pig is reading information!

You know our friendship means a lot to me. I cry when you cry, and I laugh when you laugh. When you jump off a tall building, I will stick my head out without hesitation: "Wow! Strangely, not dead! "

6. An African underage lion was sad and depressed, and his mother asked what happened. The little lion replied, "I just ate someone, probably from China." The lioness was anxious: "Eat people without looking at their passports! I told you before that their chemical elements exceeded the standard. Can we live with our bones? "

The lion's father comforted him: "Don't be afraid. People who can come to Africa to hunt in China are all dedicated to eating and drinking. This person should be green food. "

7, men are not drunk, women have no tips, women are not drunk, men have no chance. People are divided into two categories: one is frugal as if to live forever; The other is as extravagant as if he is going to die tomorrow.

8. Biologists put a naked beauty and a camera in front of a very clever orangutan, and it chose the latter. The biologist asked the orangutan why he chose this one, and the orangutan replied, "I heard that this camera will automatically zoom."

9. When A Dai went to his girlfriend's house and saw no one in the living room, he shouted, "Where are you?" Girlfriend: "I'm washing dates, there's no one at home, come and help me!" " "A Dai is shy and silent. The girlfriend is impatient: "Come on! What are you doing? A Dai: "I'm taking off my clothes." ..."

10, when the husband came home, his wife did a routine check-up and suddenly pointed at his shirt and shouted, "Whose lipstick print is this?" While trying to remember, he muttered, "Remember when I took off my shirt!"

1 1. Husband and wife went out for an outing by bike. After they climbed a big slope with difficulty, the husband panted, "This, this slope is really steep, it's really difficult to climb, and I'm exhausted!" " My wife echoed, "Yes, if I hadn't stepped on the brakes tightly, we would have slipped down." "

12, the husband happily said to his wife, "You have devoted yourself to your family for several years, and I'm going to give you a promotion next week!" Wife: "What promotion?" "I marry a little wife and let you be a big wife."

Sentence humor jokes suitable for friends circle 3 1. Yesterday, I went to buy a mobile phone with my friend (the price of the mobile phone is 1999), and my friend discussed the cheaper price with my boss there. After talking for about half an hour, the price was 1500. As a result, my friend said, "I don't want to buy it, I just want to see it." The boss's face at that time ...

2. "Cooking is about the ratio of rice to water." He wrote this sentence in his diary, which was seen by his mother. Her mother sighed and said, "Look at you, you wrote wrong words again." Then add the prefix "corpse" to the last three words, and little dung beetles smiled happily.

3. Teacher: I want you to write a people-oriented and focused composition. "Xiao Ming:" Teacher, I have thought it over. I will write to my grandmother. "Teacher:" Does your grandmother have any outstanding aspects? Xiao Ming: "My grandmother has a lumbar disc herniation. "

4. Wukong heard that iPhone5 was a rarity, so he flew to America to buy it, and then harassed Master every day. On this day, I called the Tang Priest again, but suddenly I dropped my brand-new mobile phone on the ground. Wukong swore, "Tang Priest, you pervert, the bell is set as a spell ..."

On the bus, a young woman took a nap with her seemingly 5 or 6-year-old son in her arms, and then her period seemed to come, with a lot of blood and a lot of seats. When she got off the bus, she found it. I guess she was embarrassed. Suddenly, she shouted, "Baby, hold on! Just go to the hospital and stick to it. " I rushed out of the car with my son in my arms. ...

I saw a super cute little girl crying in the supermarket. Her father said to a friend nearby, "You don't know how bad my daughter is. I drove her out to play that day. She called me halfway: dad, dad helped me open the window? I opened the window for her while wondering, and the little girl opened her mouth and shouted, help! Help! "

7. I haven't seen you for many days, and my expectant mother's colleague's stomach has been awkward. She staggered and asked me, "You are so smart, tell me how to walk without wrestling?" I said, "Don't worry, you are higher lying than standing, and you can't fall." She lowered her head, touched her belly and said, "Son, remember this voice. When you grow up, help your mother kill this bitch."

8. Idiot wife bought hamsters and cages. I asked her how much it was, and she said how many hamsters and cages there were. I complain that this cage is more expensive than hamster. The second goods replied: "Do you think you will be higher than the current house price?"

9. I took a taxi home one night and met an interesting driver. We chatted, and he told me that all the questions about the civil service exam were incomprehensible. One question is "How many kinds of monsters are there in Journey to the West?" .

He let me guess, I don't know. The driver's master revealed the mystery: "There are three kinds, one is to eat Tang Priest; One is to marry Tang Yan; The last one is to remember Tang Yan's robe. "

10. On the mountain road, a car approached and passed by the temple. I saw a young monk holding a banner of "returning to shore" and shouting, "Look here, benefactor!" A young man in the car laughed and scolded through the window: "Idiot!" Turn away in an instant.

10 seconds later, he collapsed and fell screaming. That night, in the meditation room, the young monk said to the abbot, "Master, just write that the bridge ahead has been broken, ok?" "