Joke Collection Website - Talk about mood - It turns out that I am not Wangzai Milk
It turns out that I am not Wangzai Milk
I am a can of Wangzai milk, standing on the pillar of the stone bridge guardrail. There was still half a bottle of milk in my stomach and a straw in my head. I was very embarrassed.
Everyone passing by looked at me strangely. There is a silly bird on the tree next to me. It has been staring at me for a long time. I figured it was going to kick me off the bridge.
I think my life is over.
I still remember that when I opened my eyes for the first time, I found myself in a container, surrounded by a group of red milk cans with strange and weird smiley faces printed on them.
I guess they dressed up like this to express some humor. I wanted to use this as a topic to get acquainted with them, but when I found out that I looked exactly like them, I chose to remain silent.
I'm no different than anyone else. This is the first truth I understand.
Later, we were all moved to the shelves and met a senior. We call him senior not because he looks older than us. He looks just like us.
But why?
It’s not just that he came out earlier than us.
He pointed at the dust falling on his body and proudly raised his head and chest. Yes that is a sign of sophistication! He has lived longer than us and has more experience than us. "I have endured all the hardships you have to endure, and I can make a clear path for you." We looked at each other, no one objected.
So I know the second truth - you have to listen to what your seniors say.
This senior is truly worthy of his reputation, and he has clearly explained our past and present lives. It sounds like a boring and frustrating life from being produced in a factory, packaged, sold, drunk, thrown into the trash can, and ended by recycling. Just when I thought I had learned another truth, he suddenly said: "If you want to live a good life, you must plan." How to plan? He followed the path.
First of all, starting from the factory production, you must take good care of yourself and never get bumped. If you knock out a big dent, who will buy you?
Secondly, you must show your best manners. This will attract consumers' attention. For example, the colors should be bright, and try to stand at the front of the shelf to show your smiling face. Although the smile was weird enough, I decided to take the advice of my elders and open my eyes wider and my mouth wider.
"Attention! Consumers often decide who they want to buy within 1 second, so you must always be in a good state and not miss any second of being sold!" Listen to this It’s stressful to go up there, but it’s reality—thousands of Wangzai milk! How can you compete!
Even if it is successfully purchased, our competition does not end there. If recycled correctly, our bodies can be reshaped to create new Wangzai milk. In this way, a part of us can be passed on forever. "Inheritance is the meaning of our lives." said the senior. Everyone was excited to hear it and couldn't help but admire it.
"What if no one buys it? What if it is not thrown into the recycling bin?" asked a Wangzi little milk. The senior sighed and said: "Then, such a milk student is a failure!"
The Wangzai milkmen were in an uproar.
"Remember, in this life, you have to do what kind of things at what stage, otherwise, you will make a wrong step, fall behind step by step, and finally lose everything!"
I started my journey The struggle of milk students.
On the first day, no one bought Wangzai milk. The next day, a child grabbed the brother next to me without even raising his eyelids. On the third day, a girl stood in front of us and stared at us for a long time. I felt like my eyes were about to explode and my mouth was about to burst from laughter. But she stared for a while and walked away without taking anything. On the fourth day, an old aunt appeared. This is probably another customer who is about to leave. Which old aunt likes to drink Wangzai milk? But, without warning, she arrested me. It's like winning the lottery. Listless, I suddenly woke up.
"Oh my God, I sold it. I have finally completed this stage of the task! The perfect nanny has finally taken an important step!" When I was overjoyed, she put me back the shelves. Although it was put back in its original position, the orientation was reversed. Now my face is facing the inside of the dark and boundless shelf, and facing the outside is a red butt with black letters printed on it. I was stunned. In a few seconds, I, who was originally a lucky person, was instantly thrown into a bottomless abyss. The senior next to me looked at me and shook his head: "Hey, you are a loser, you are useless."
I saw that several brothers who were on the shelves together were bought. There was even a person who bought more than ten cans at a time, and even his seniors were taken away and refused to buy from me. Seeing everyone's merits and deeds perfected, and looking at my own situation, I was heartbroken. While I was grieving, a couple walked to the Wangzai shelf chatting and laughing. Without stopping, they picked me up and walked to the cashier. This time, I didn't relax until I was taken out of the supermarket.
And just like that, I was sold. What should have been an exciting moment now feels dull. I'm thinking that whether it can be sold may have nothing to do with my dress, expression and posture. Maybe, this is a question of pure probability.
I have been waiting for the girl to finish drinking me. Couples are like sparrows when they get together, chattering incessantly. Several times, the straw was already close to my mouth, and the girl put me down again, opening and closing my mouth. The young man next to me was actually fascinated. Only I knew how much spit this girl could spit when she spoke. It doesn't matter, as long as you throw it into the recyclable trash can after drinking, it won't be in vain for me.
Unexpectedly, the two guys got closer and closer, and walked hand in hand to the bridge. When they saw no one around, they actually kissed. At this time, how can the girl remember that I am a sweet and gentle Wangzai milk that I exchanged with RMB? I'm just a red light bulb with nowhere to put it. How can you hold a light bulb while kissing? So, the girl put me on the railing of the stone bridge.
So, I became who I am now.
The surface of this stone pillar has not been smoothed. If I hadn’t had the weight of half a bottle of milk to steady myself, I would have fallen into the sea. The breeze blew towards me across the lake, and the restless straw swayed left and right on my head. The silly bird was still chirping silly at me on the branch.
This all sucks.
I closed my eyes and began to reflect: "The nurse failed so much. Where did he go wrong?" I thought hard and finally realized the truth; I was put on the bridge because I was bought. The couple was absent-minded; I was bought by the absent-minded couple because I was facing the shelf with my butt in the air; I was facing the wrong direction because the old aunt let me place it randomly; and the old aunt decided not to buy me because my smile was not bright enough. .
In the final analysis, it was because I didn’t work hard enough that I ended up with such a bad boy. My ending is probably to be picked up by that stupid bird in the tree, or fall into the water and sink to the bottom of the river forever. What has happened is that there is no turning around.
"Hey, what do you want from me, a nanny?" I sighed and had to face the final tragic fate.
At this moment, a homeless man came over and grabbed me. The stupid bird was just frightened away. He took out the straw, shook my can, looked inside again, took a small sip, and then drank it all. The homeless man was thinking about it while walking towards the trash can.
"That's right, that's right! Throw me into the recyclable trash can!" I prayed secretly in my heart. Unexpectedly, the homeless man stuffed me into his pocket and rummaged through the trash can.
Apparently I have never caught up with the progress of my life as Wang Zai Dairy. In this case, I will not make Wangzai milk. Why can I only be Wangzai milk?
The homeless man gave me a new name, Wangzi Can. He took me around the streets and alleys and saw the recyclable trash cans everywhere. We still occasionally find brothers in the trash can. Following him, I can not only hold milk, but also water and wine. I saw kind and sinister people; I heard tragic and happy things.
My favorite part of the day is when he drinks wine, watching the sunset, lake, bridge, and willow trees complement each other, while listening to his chatter.
Over time, I also became infected with the atmosphere of wandering. I often think, what difference does it make if it sinks at the bottom of a lake, floats into the sea, is picked up by a stupid bird, is thrown on an inconspicuous street, stands on a stone pillar, or is recycled and manufactured?
There is no difference, the difference is only in perception. What I feel is all I have. The rules that were originally constrained and the results that were painstakingly obtained may not necessarily be inevitable.
I feel so comfortable not having to race against time to keep up with the process. I no longer seem to worry about what will happen next.
One afternoon, the homeless man was so drunk that he fell to the ground to sleep, but he pinned me down. When he woke up, I was almost deflated into a two-dimensional figure. I guess the smile on Gu's body must have been furrowed. He glanced at me from side to side, trying to pull me back into shape, but to no avail. I was put back into his pocket, and he found another can to hold water. For three whole days, he would take me out to look at me and then put me back. But in the end, he threw me into the recycling bin.
Everything is unexpected and yet expected.
"Is this your story?"
"That's right."
"I didn't expect you to be such a Wangzai Milk."
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"I am not Wangzi Milk."
"There is a picture of Wangzi Milk printed on your can."
On the way to the molten cauldron, The little Wangzi brother next to me kept nagging. I saw that he was not going to shut up until he was thrown into the cauldron.
"Your life has been really full of twists and turns."
"It's not in vain."
"Oh, tell me, you have gone through so much trouble." You are not like us all your life."
"Oh, tell me, you have been planning your whole life and you are still not like me."
Brother Xiao Wangzai curled his lips. Said: "You are really a strange Wangzai Milk."
"Hey... I told you, I am not Wangzai Milk."
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