Painting cures self-animal painting

Basic information of the painter:

A 33-year-old middle-aged girl, working in other places, doesn't have much time to see her parents every year. She is still a child who is taken care of in front of her parents.

What impressed you the day before painting was:

I had a two-hour video call with my parents that day. The agreed itinerary is actually very simple, because I am going to have a wedding on 1 1, but it is difficult for them to book tickets online. Recording information requires them to send verification information, which takes at least half an hour to teach. Anyway, we just chat and bicker while booking tickets for them.

The mood before painting:

Although we have just talked for two hours, if we want to express our affection with animals, I still feel that my mind is blank. On second thought, my id is rabbit, and naturally I brought myself into a rabbit. And my mother is a Taurus, sometimes like an inflexible and persistent cow, and sometimes like an optimistic and happy cow enjoying life, so Niu Niu is the representative. Decided to draw the most common scenes during the holiday.

The process of painting:

When drawing, I will recall my time at home. Although I have been away for a long time, all kinds of decorations, flower pots, curtains and sofa patterns at home are vivid, and painting seems to have returned to a relaxed state of not worrying about anything.

The mood after painting:

I feel calm and warm.

The story of the picture:

This assignment is about me and my mother. I am a rabbit and my mother is a cow.

I work in Shenzhen and my hometown is in Anhui. Generally, I only go home on holidays such as Chinese New Year or 1 1 month, and the days with my parents may add up to less than half a month every year. Although I am old, I still look like a completely taken care of child at home.

In the picture, I am lying on the sofa reading a book and my mother is preparing lunch. She was putting the food on the table and turned to ask me what to eat.

This is a scene that only happens during a long vacation. Sometimes she will nag me about the shortcomings of some parents. Many distant relatives in my hometown can't tell who is who, so I just listen to her silently and nod my head in response. The overall atmosphere is relaxed and nothing happens. I totally enjoy this peaceful and leisurely vacation.

Analyze the main points of this section in combination with painting:

Animal type: My mother and I are not the same kind of animals, one is a rabbit, the other is a cow, and they are similar herbivores, with gentle and steady temperament. I didn't get along very well with my mother when I was a child. She is very strong, and I have always resisted. But when I grow up, I find that the generation gap exists objectively, and what I want to see more is understanding and sex.

Distance relationship: In the picture, the distance between us seems very far away. I was on the sofa, and she was at the dining table. There was no physical contact. However, I drew a family portrait on the wall next to the sofa, and also drew my father who didn't appear in the picture. In this photo, our family is very close.

Although our hearts are not so close, we trust each other very much on the emotional level. Even if they will do things in a way I don't like, I can understand their intentions. I think being too close may sometimes drown out self-awareness and hurt each other, but distance can protect this feeling.

Story: Stories are very common. I am reading at leisure, and she is cooking, which runs through many ordinary daily lives from small to large. Do your own thing, a little distance, but also warm.

Thoughts from listening to this lecture:

People often say that my daughter is my parents' little cotton-padded jacket, and I am ashamed. I'm probably a little popsicle. It may have something to do with strict family discipline when I was a child. Their high expectations of me far exceed my actual ability, so I will be in a state of depression, denial and rebellion. I seem to have been released since I went to college. I hardly take the initiative to contact my parents and tell them about me. As the picture shows, even if we are in the same space, our psychological distance is still far away.

From another point of view, we can still live in harmony in a space, even if there are gaps in our ideas that cannot be filled. As an adult, I also took many courses and reached a settlement with my inner parents. This reconciliation means that I know our gap, accept their incomprehension, accept my own rebellion, and find a harmonious, inclusive and mutually supportive way to get along on this basis.

Enlightenment of this course:

I'm glad I learned a lot of psychology before I had children, and I know how to listen to * * * in theory.

In communication with parents, we can also use these technologies. Even when I was a child, I felt a lot of frustration and powerlessness, but now I have grown into a strong adult and can use my own strength to improve the state of getting along with the whole family.

Five or six years ago, my mother and I were still at odds. Then I thought of some ways. I gave them a puppy to distract my control and attention, and encouraged my mother to go to college for the aged. Since then, our relationship has undergone a qualitative change. She put more energy into running her own life, dancing, singing and learning mobile phone photography, and we also had some interesting topics to talk about.

I have heard many people complain about their parents' relationship. When giving them some advice, they always deny that my parents are different and they can't change. In fact, this is giving up the possibility of action. We can't wait for others to wake up and change, and then the relationship will get better. Instead, I realized the existence of the problem. We have to exert our influence and make changes before the relationship can change.

Next small step (the more specific, the better):

1. Implement non-violent communication, seek common ground while reserving differences, encourage them to contact new things and understand their old ideas.

2. Contact them actively. They contacted me once. I want to try to contact them at least once a week.